Dictionary for Men & Women.

[Giskat09 2]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish..............................49

Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends

Athletic............................No boobs

Average looking.................Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure..............On medication

Feminist............................Fat

Free spirit..........................Junkie

Friendship first...................Former #######

Fun..................................Annoying

Gentle..............................Dull

New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded.....................Desperate

Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate........................Sloppy drunk

Poet.................................Depressive

Professional.......................######

Romantic...........................Frigid

Voluptuous........................Very Fat

Large frame.......................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate................Stalker

Widow..............................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!

[Amby 490]

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

this is kinda how I feel. does this mean I'm a man?

[Scott & Lai 12]

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

this is kinda how I feel. does this mean I'm a man?

No, it means Neil is a lucky man

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Yay!!! Cool...

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish..............................49

Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends

Athletic............................No boobs

Average looking.................Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure..............On medication

Feminist............................Fat

Free spirit..........................Junkie

Friendship first...................Former #######

Fun..................................Annoying

Gentle..............................Dull

New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded.....................Desperate

Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate........................Sloppy drunk

Poet.................................Depressive

Professional.......................######

Romantic...........................Frigid

Voluptuous........................Very Fat

Large frame.......................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate................Stalker

Widow..............................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!

[Amby 490]

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

this is kinda how I feel. does this mean I'm a man?

No, it means Neil is a lucky man

oh yes I agree!

[mawilson 2,133]

[sarahaziz 0]

oh gosh

[morocco4ever 63]

Now is everyone straight on this? There will be a quiz later.

My husband said I need a stop light after an argument.

Red means Stay back!

Green means I want to talk now

Yellow means I may say I don't want to talk, but you had better gently convince me

and because women are so complicated we need one more light

Orange mean I may say I want to talk but I don't really, but if you force the issue you had better say what I want to hear.

[SpiritAlight 1]

Well jiskat08, continuing to spread stuff like this around continues too perpetrate all that is "wrong" with the world.

It continues to create separation and a feeling of disconnect.

If you were a guy, I'd think you may be a misogynist.

However you are a woman, and straight, so why the hatred (for lack of a better word; distaste maybe)?

Hmmm?

Do you know what I mean jelly bean?

In a world of so much strife, spreading love is the only way.

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Lol! Kj?

Well jiskat08, continuing to spread stuff like this around continues too perpetrate all that is "wrong" with the world.

It continues to create separation and a feeling of disconnect.

If you were a guy, I'd think you may be a misogynist.

However you are a woman, and straight, so why the hatred (for lack of a better word; distaste maybe)?

Hmmm?

Do you know what I mean jelly bean?

In a world of so much strife, spreading love is the only way.

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Lol!

Now is everyone straight on this? There will be a quiz later.

My husband said I need a stop light after an argument.

Red means Stay back!

Green means I want to talk now

Yellow means I may say I don't want to talk, but you had better gently convince me

and because women are so complicated we need one more light

Orange mean I may say I want to talk but I don't really, but if you force the issue you had better say what I want to hear.

[morocco4ever 63]

In a world of so much strife, spreading love is the only way.

And having a sense of humor is our key to sanity. Please lighten up.

[SpiritAlight 1]

In a world of so much strife, spreading love is the only way.

And having a sense of humor is our key to sanity. Please lighten up.

You are absolutely right.

And if you knew me you'd know how light I actually am.

Light and fluffy.

I just get a button pushed with such gender-based crapola.

I still laugh the good laugh often....especially at myself.