Russia girls are amazing!

[visaveteran1 33]

Yes, I am a card carrying member of the "I Love Russian Women Club." But I'd temper that by saying I've met some very unpleasant RW as well. You can't just walk up to the Russian "woman tree' and pick one at random and walk away a happy man.

When I first decided to look to the former Soviet Union for a wife, I held the same strict criterion many rookie American men do (beyond the obvious age range criteria): must speak good English; no kids under 24 years old, and must live in Moscow or St. Petersburg or similar big city.

From the few ladies I found within this group of prospective wives, I was unable to really connect with and/or had problems with them. A good grasp of English brings good and bad effects (elitist attitude maybe) and limits communication of the non verbal type that women with little or no English must bring to bear in order to have a relationship with you. You can tell a lot about someone who's willing to take a big risk and meet you knowing only very little English.

Having no kids may indicate selfishness or difficulty with close relationships and their personalities may lack the nurturing and care-giving qualities that being a mother can develop in someone. Of course, I speaking of women beyond the reasonable child bearing years (say after 38 or so).

And some big city girls have very high expectations of wealth and a super exciting life in America....maybe the kind of woman you can never fully please regarding money and material things. And persuading them to give up there life and job in Moscow is a tougher sell than if we're talking about leaving a smaller Siberia area.

After several attempts to find a woman meeting my original criteria in only the big cities of he FSU, I gave up. I had to go deeper into Russia to find my special woman. And, importantly, I had to rethink my criterion for a wife. My wife spoke almost no English when I first met her. At that time her son was only 16. And she lives in Siberia many hours from Moscow or SPB. For me, the key was to find a woman totally ready to give up her Russian life and connections in order to be with me...and I found her where many American men would not travel to.

So when an American man asks me about finding a Russian bride, I recommend avoiding the "low apples on the Russian woman tree," and take the risk and accept the hardship of the longer journey into places like Siberia. They may well get lucky with the big city women, but I think there's something special about the Russian "village girls" that seem so perfect as a wife and life partner. They have a sort of innocence and unspoiled virtue and positive attitude that I had given up hoping to find.

For my brother comrades who found their perfect wife in the big cities...good show! You saved yourself a lot of struggle and grief not going into the hinder lands. And there are always the elements of good timing and good luck and good chemistry that defies any social or demographic variables. Or maybe you're very rich and live in LA or NYC. Whatever the case, I'm not knocking your road to success...just sharing my viewpoints based on my experiences...and suggesting an alternative plan.

[eekee 182]

I have several close female friends from Siberia. They're super sweet girls.

Yes, I am a card carrying member of the "I Love Russian Women Club." But I'd temper that by saying I've met some very unpleasant RW as well. You can't just walk up to the Russian "woman tree' and pick one at random and walk away a happy man.

When I first decided to look to the former Soviet Union for a wife, I held the same strict criterion many rookie American men do (beyond the obvious age range criteria): must speak good English; no kids under 24 years old, and must live in Moscow or St. Petersburg or similar big city.

From the few ladies I found within this group of prospective wives, I was unable to really connect with and/or had problems with them. A good grasp of English brings good and bad effects (elitist attitude maybe) and limits communication of the non verbal type that women with little or no English must bring to bear in order to have a relationship with you. You can tell a lot about someone who's willing to take a big risk and meet you knowing only very little English.

Having no kids may indicate selfishness or difficulty with close relationships and their personalities may lack the nurturing and care-giving qualities that being a mother can develop in someone. Of course, I speaking of women beyond the reasonable child bearing years (say after 38 or so).

And some big city girls have very high expectations of wealth and a super exciting life in America....maybe the kind of woman you can never fully please regarding money and material things. And persuading them to give up there life and job in Moscow is a tougher sell than if we're talking about leaving a smaller Siberia area.

After several attempts to find a woman meeting my original criteria in only the big cities of he FSU, I gave up. I had to go deeper into Russia to find my special woman. And, importantly, I had to rethink my criterion for a wife. My wife spoke almost no English when I first met her. At that time her son was only 16. And she lives in Siberia many hours from Moscow or SPB. For me, the key was to find a woman totally ready to give up her Russian life and connections in order to be with me...and I found her where many American men would not travel to.

So when an American man asks me about finding a Russian bride, I recommend avoiding the "low apples on the Russian woman tree," and take the risk and accept the hardship of the longer journey into places like Siberia. They may well get lucky with the big city women, but I think there's something special about the Russian "village girls" that seem so perfect as a wife and life partner. They have a sort of innocence and unspoiled virtue and positive attitude that I had given up hoping to find.

For my brother comrades who found their perfect wife in the big cities...good show! You saved yourself a lot of struggle and grief not going into the hinder lands. And there are always the elements of good timing and good luck and good chemistry that defies any social or demographic variables. Or maybe you're very rich and live in LA or NYC. Whatever the case, I'm not knocking your road to success...just sharing my viewpoints based on my experiences...and suggesting an alternative plan.

[slim 1,534]

One thing that I found interesting in my personal interactions with Russian girls during what I like to call my "social experiment" in Korea (two tours, one in '99-'00, another in '03-'04) was the first go 'round they were all naive, shy girls from small-town Russia and the second time, a little over three years later, they were all experienced, "battle hardened" world travellers from "big city in Russia", even those from the small towns.

What changed was they had several years (and hundreds of thousands of man-hours) to learn the "system" of interacting with foreign men and had evolved into something a little different. They were still the same girls at the core, but the outside operations were different. Most had become "business" women (whether looking for a husband or simply a good source of income) whereas before, most were there to simply see the world and have a good time.

It's really no different than what happens here when you take people from small towns and they move to the big city for college or a new job. What some of you may notice though is your girl, wheter from a small town or big city, is going to change to her new environment, good or bad. There is a difference though in the gratefulness of a girl from a small town and a girl from the city. There's no expectation from the small town girl. The city girl, on the other hand, may expect that you'll spend every penny you have on keeping her happy and getting her everything she wants and desires. The small town girl could be grateful that you bought her this or that. But, she could quickly become the big city girl since everywhere in America is the "big city" compared to some of the villages in Siberia.

Bottom line, be honest and up front with what you have and what you're able to provide. Be sure to include her in what you're doing and what your capabilities are. And be flexible.... she's going to change several times after she gets here......

[Mina76 0]

LOL.....just like some american women prefer non-american men

EXACTLY!

[Satellite 1]

I suppose that there are American girls with the same characteristics but compared to the Russian girls, it's like finding a needle in a haystack!

Did you know that the same Russian girls you and everyone on her loves so much can be found right here in the US? They come with legal papers, money, know how to drive, US education, etc... Ever been to New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, and Sacramento just to name a few places with populations well over 100,000 Russian speakers? You could have used the internet to connect to those girls right? Picked them out of a catalog right? Not exactly...because those girls don't need a green card, aren't looking for "stability", and not willing to sacrifice their interests.

Likewise, plenty of American girls have all those great qualities that Russian women in Russia have. But for the exact same reasons as the Russian girls living in the US, they have no interest in a green card, money, or stability, because they already have and thus will not lower their standards in terms of finding an older, fatter, and balder man....

Yeah, she can be the jealous type. But she is more an anti-internet type, so I should be Kay!

Same here. I think the fact that she's very internet-adverse may just save my life.

Wow both of you are starting to sound like the internet is not really what has built your relationship with your women. Hence my argument about what makes real relationships in the thread my wife started back in the day, i.e., in person instead of virtual.

[eekee 182]

There are LOTS of women in the US who are willing to lower their standards for an older/fatter/balder man... provided he comes with a very large bank account.

I suppose that there are American girls with the same characteristics but compared to the Russian girls, it's like finding a needle in a haystack!

Did you know that the same Russian girls you and everyone on her loves so much can be found right here in the US? They come with legal papers, money, know how to drive, US education, etc... Ever been to New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, and Sacramento just to name a few places with populations well over 100,000 Russian speakers? You could have used the internet to connect to those girls right? Picked them out of a catalog right? Not exactly...because those girls don't need a green card, aren't looking for "stability", and not willing to sacrifice their interests.

Likewise, plenty of American girls have all those great qualities that Russian women in Russia have. But for the exact same reasons as the Russian girls living in the US, they have no interest in a green card, money, or stability, because they already have and thus will not lower their standards in terms of finding an older, fatter, and balder man....

Yeah, she can be the jealous type. But she is more an anti-internet type, so I should be Kay!

Same here. I think the fact that she's very internet-adverse may just save my life.

Wow both of you are starting to sound like the internet is not really what has built your relationship with your women. Hence my argument about what makes real relationships in the thread my wife started back in the day, i.e., in person instead of virtual.

[Satellite 1]

There are LOTS of women in the US who are willing to lower their standards for an older/fatter/balder man... provided he comes with a very large bank account.

Sorry for not being clear in my first post, I agree completely. Green card, money, and stability were the three factors I focused in on in terms of triggering "lower" standards.

[wissooner 0]

I suppose that there are American girls with the same characteristics but compared to the Russian girls, it's like finding a needle in a haystack!

Did you know that the same Russian girls you and everyone on her loves so much can be found right here in the US? They come with legal papers, money, know how to drive, US education, etc... Ever been to New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, and Sacramento just to name a few places with populations well over 100,000 Russian speakers? You could have used the internet to connect to those girls right? Picked them out of a catalog right? Not exactly...because those girls don't need a green card, aren't looking for "stability", and not willing to sacrifice their interests.

Likewise, plenty of American girls have all those great qualities that Russian women in Russia have. But for the exact same reasons as the Russian girls living in the US, they have no interest in a green card, money, or stability, because they already have and thus will not lower their standards in terms of finding an older, fatter, and balder man....

Yeah, she can be the jealous type. But she is more an anti-internet type, so I should be Kay!

Same here. I think the fact that she's very internet-adverse may just save my life.

Wow both of you are starting to sound like the internet is not really what has built your relationship with your women. Hence my argument about what makes real relationships in the thread my wife started back in the day, i.e., in person instead of virtual.

Well Sat, if nothing else, you are predictable...

[irish44 0]

I suppose that there are American girls with the same characteristics but compared to the Russian girls, it's like finding a needle in a haystack!

Did you know that the same Russian girls you and everyone on her loves so much can be found right here in the US? They come with legal papers, money, know how to drive, US education, etc... Ever been to New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, and Sacramento just to name a few places with populations well over 100,000 Russian speakers? You could have used the internet to connect to those girls right? Picked them out of a catalog right? Not exactly...because those girls don't need a green card, aren't looking for "stability", and not willing to sacrifice their interests.

Likewise, plenty of American girls have all those great qualities that Russian women in Russia have. But for the exact same reasons as the Russian girls living in the US, they have no interest in a green card, money, or stability, because they already have and thus will not lower their standards in terms of finding an older, fatter, and balder man....

Yeah, she can be the jealous type. But she is more an anti-internet type, so I should be Kay!

Same here. I think the fact that she's very internet-adverse may just save my life.

Wow both of you are starting to sound like the internet is not really what has built your relationship with your women. Hence my argument about what makes real relationships in the thread my wife started back in the day, i.e., in person instead of virtual.

Well Sat, if nothing else, you are predictable...

I heartily agree with Mox and Wissooner. In fact, I knew that Sat would chime in as a - advocate. I want to see if this thread gets as big as the last one that he, or she, or ex-she, or both started that ran for weeks. I think that he just takes a contrary position regardless of what he/she/them really thinks. It does keep our Forum the most interesting one in this site though

[Corey-Mariya 14]

I suppose that there are American girls with the same characteristics but compared to the Russian girls, it's like finding a needle in a haystack!

Did you know that the same Russian girls you and everyone on her loves so much can be found right here in the US? They come with legal papers, money, know how to drive, US education, etc... Ever been to New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, and Sacramento just to name a few places with populations well over 100,000 Russian speakers? You could have used the internet to connect to those girls right? Picked them out of a catalog right? Not exactly...because those girls don't need a green card, aren't looking for "stability", and not willing to sacrifice their interests.

Likewise, plenty of American girls have all those great qualities that Russian women in Russia have. But for the exact same reasons as the Russian girls living in the US, they have no interest in a green card, money, or stability, because they already have and thus will not lower their standards in terms of finding an older, fatter, and balder man....

Yeah, she can be the jealous type. But she is more an anti-internet type, so I should be Kay!

Same here. I think the fact that she's very internet-adverse may just save my life.

Wow both of you are starting to sound like the internet is not really what has built your relationship with your women. Hence my argument about what makes real relationships in the thread my wife started back in the day, i.e., in person instead of virtual.

Satellite what makes you think every russian girl wants to move to the usa? Alot of Russian girls actually enjoy living in Russia! I am not old fat o bald and actually met my fiance in the USA! (Just turned 20) I also think sometimes a long distance relationshiop makes it that much stronger! It gives it another dimension!

[Alex & Rachel 78]

True, but I'd never date a Russian one either.

Minor detail!

Now, those Pitcairn ladies, on the other hand...

They have the softest, most orange skin in the world. Once you've had the orange skin, there's just no going back.

This is why I lurk in this forum, folks.

I am not so lucky. I am stalked on the internet by my guy. "So I googled you today and I found..."

That is why I do not post any names.

I receive PMs and e-mails from Alex saying, 'so, I was in your inbox today and I'm just alerting you to the fact that you've received new e-mails/PMs but they'll show up as 'read' because I read them'.

Or he'll text me to say, 'hey so you're meeting up with your parents next week? Your dad's booked a hotel' and I'll reply, 'what?!'

*turns lurk mode back on*

Edited April 3, 2008 by Alex & Rachel

[Satellite 1]

I didn't pick my girl out of a catalog and nobody else here did either. I didn't pick my girl out of a lineup either. Many of us met online through a little chat mechanism called instant messaging. Others met through a dating service, where the women are just as actively looking as the men. And everyone here that's filed an I-129F has met their woman in person.

For the record I met my wife the same way you did, instant messaging online chat, so we are no different.

Second of all, your implication that our ye olde Sears&Robuck Catalogue Brides are seeking green cards because they're not already here is what I like to call "the crazy logic." It's whatchacall circular and stuff.

As for the "dating services" if that is more politically correct to say rather than catalog, what exactly are those women saying? If you read my post again you will notice three things (1) green card; (2) stability; and (3) money. You were only offended by the green card part.

Of course we're not saying the internet has built our relationship with our woman. I'm not sure anyone here has said the internet built our relationship. Real, human connection built our relationship. The medium is irrelevant.

You are hypocrite. Look at what you wrote. You agree with me that internet didn't build your relationship and then you say the medium used to build your relationship is irrelevant. Well that medium as far as I could remember in my wife's thread was that the internet is used to build real relationship. And I responded were are all anonymous posters until we do meet in person and engage in a real interpersonal relationship. And now we are finally in agreement that of course in person is what is needed for a real relationship.

Satellite what makes you think every Russian girl wants to move to the USA? Alot of Russian girls actually enjoy living in Russia!

I completely agree. I am only concerned about the 100,000 or so Slim says are in online catalogs dying to marry and leave Russia. What is up with those ladies?

I am not old fat o bald and actually met my fiancé in the USA! (Just turned 20) I also think sometimes a long distance relationship makes it that much stronger! It gives it another dimension!

For the record I was 22 when we got married. As far as I can tell I am not bald, fat, or rich, yet I still wrote what I did because it was my observation of the overall picture. As for the long distance relationship, I have mixed feelings on what that does. It certainly preserves a lot of relationships because if you don't "date" every week, you have less chance to show off your "bad sides". Next thing you know 2 years has gone by and your "fiancée" is here in the USA with a 90 day window to get married. Kind of hard to end it all at this point, plus the logistics of the situation makes it hard to. Of course there are exceptions, both Tiger and I spent many consecutive months living in Russia.

[eekee 182]

I lived in Russia too, but of course my situation is a lot different than anyone else's in this thread.

The distance part blows. I'd rather not have that dimension.

I am not old fat o bald and actually met my fiancé in the USA! (Just turned 20) I also think sometimes a long distance relationship makes it that much stronger! It gives it another dimension!

For the record I was 22 when we got married. As far as I can tell I am not bald, fat, or rich, yet I still wrote what I did because it was my observation of the overall picture. As for the long distance relationship, I have mixed feelings on what that does. It certainly preserves a lot of relationships because if you don't "date" every week, you have less chance to show off your "bad sides". Next thing you know 2 years has gone by and your "fiancée" is here in the USA with a 90 day window to get married. Kind of hard to end it all at this point, plus the logistics of the situation makes it hard to. Of course there are exceptions, both Tiger and I spent many consecutive months living in Russia.

Edited April 3, 2008 by eekee

[slim 1,534]

Official card-carrying member of the "lower standards" club. (Older, fatter, balder nailed it right on the head too. Good job!)

And to play advocate as well, I'm in 100% agreement with Satellite on this one. Guys, be honest, are you not getting a little bit better deal by "going global?" Come on. Most of you have already traded-in an ex spouse or two. And the girls, even the ones with the great jobs and great lives and blah, blah, blah... none of them can say that their life in Russia is guranteed to be better than their potential life here with your old, fat, bald @$$.

I wish the "hey, don't call my girl a mail-order bride" stuff would just stop.

"Call her what you want, you're the sucker for not getting one yourself." (Said to a co-worker of mine who likes to poke fun at me for being married to a smokin-hot, intelligent young woman who also likes to cook and clean and do all types of wild sexual stuff.... just because she's a "mail-order bride." Meanwhile, he's kissing the ### of a 50-year-old overweight smoker who came straight out of the trailer park on her way to waffle house.... and I'm less of a man??? Come on!!!)

Guys, lighten up. Be happy that your "mail-order bride" decided to chance her green card on you and not one of the other old fat bald guys.

You're not going to change people's opinions. The only thing that really matters is that you and your girl know what time it is. Oooh. Gotta go. Deadline for filing is soon. Gotta go buy her some more jewelry so she won't leave me. DO I REALLY CARE???? Should you?

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I wish I had time now to chime in on this thread since it's nearing fisticuffs... I'll throw my two kopeks in tonight.