Dermo!

[mox 298]

I just picked up Dermo! The Real Russian Tolstoy Never Used from Borders.

An excerpt:

Flexibility is the trademark of Real Russian. In English, for exampe, words observe a certain etiquette and are placed in a sentence according to strict British norms of politeness. (i.e., the predicate never elbows its way ahead of the subject and the verb always bows down in deference before His Majesty, the noun). Russian, on the other hand, emulates its homeland, where chaos generally rules, and the word order in a sentence is dictated by nothing more than how the speaker is feeling that day. This is why four-letter words can appear anywhere in a sentence and sound natural and even indispensable if the emotion calls for it. In English, the following sentence would sound extremely odd: "I, ####, love, #######, you, b*tch, so much!" Does that sound like any declaration of love you've ever heard? But if I write in Russian, "I love you so much!" it strikes a false note or sounds ironic to the Russian ear. To lend this exalted phrase the convincing note of genuine love, I have to let it go slumming, or as they say in Russian, let it sink down to the level of дерьмо (der'mo--sh*t) and write "I, you, b*tch, so much love!" or more idiomatically, "I love you, b*tch, so much!"

It's a hysterical read, and you don't need to know a lick of Russian to enjoy it. OTOH, if you know even a little Russian, it's even funnier. Definitely a must-read to anyone who wants to talk dirty to his or her SO, wants to break up with his/her SO, or wants to get in a bar fight next time they're in Moscow.

[anka 1]

I just picked up Dermo! The Real Russian Tolstoy Never Used from Borders.

An excerpt:

Flexibility is the trademark of Real Russian. In English, for exampe, words observe a certain etiquette and are placed in a sentence according to strict British norms of politeness. (i.e., the predicate never elbows its way ahead of the subject and the verb always bows down in deference before His Majesty, the noun). Russian, on the other hand, emulates its homeland, where chaos generally rules, and the word order in a sentence is dictated by nothing more than how the speaker is feeling that day. This is why four-letter words can appear anywhere in a sentence and sound natural and even indispensable if the emotion calls for it. In English, the following sentence would sound extremely odd: "I, ####, love, #######, you, b*tch, so much!" Does that sound like any declaration of love you've ever heard? But if I write in Russian, "I love you so much!" it strikes a false note or sounds ironic to the Russian ear. To lend this exalted phrase the convincing note of genuine love, I have to let it go slumming, or as they say in Russian, let it sink down to the level of дерьмо (der'mo--sh*t) and write "I, you, b*tch, so much love!" or more idiomatically, "I love you, b*tch, so much!"

It's a hysterical read, and you don't need to know a lick of Russian to enjoy it. OTOH, if you know even a little Russian, it's even funnier. Definitely a must-read to anyone who wants to talk dirty to his or her SO, wants to break up with his/her SO, or wants to get in a bar fight next time they're in Moscow.

Yeah, I bought this a few months ago but haven't read it yet. I think I'll have to---just to impress my boy and watch his eyes pop out of his head!! Haha! Needless to say, Russian "bad words" and slang were, unfortunately, some of the first words in that language I learned..)))))

[mox 298]

One of the Russian language teachers I used to work with way back when (sure wish I'd taken him up on lessons, dammit!) once told me that the Russian language is designed in such a way that you can put the word "####" in between any 2 words in any sentence and it will still make sense. This book seems to confirm it.

[eekee 182]

One of the Russian language teachers I used to work with way back when (sure wish I'd taken him up on lessons, dammit!) once told me that the Russian language is designed in such a way that you can put the word "####" in between any 2 words in any sentence and it will still make sense. This book seems to confirm it.

Better ask your fiancee though... I've heard from friends that this book is not so accurate.

also especially for women it's important to note that russian curse words pack more of a punch than american/english ones. required for when you're drinking with the guys though.

Edited January 21, 2008 by eekee

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

My Alla looked through it, there are too many mistakes to make it worth it. We lost count at 20 or so. You'd probably end up sounding silly rather than speaking good Мат! Easier to learn from your lady, if she'll teach you.

[mox 298]

My Alla looked through it, there are too many mistakes to make it worth it. We lost count at 20 or so. You'd probably end up sounding silly rather than speaking good Мат! Easier to learn from your lady, if she'll teach you.

Really?! Wow, that's interesting. The book was written by a Russian, so it must have gotten screwed up by the translators. Which is funny because he dedicates an entire paragraph about how he gives very specific instructions to his translators. Or maybe it's a regional thing. Or maybe he's just an idiot.

I'm sure my lady will teach me...sort of "on the job training" if you know what I mean.

Edited January 21, 2008 by mox

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I first showed her the book in 2004. Maybe your edition has been improved. The mistakes in mine were all over. Some phrases were spot on. But the problem seemed to be with the individual words and translations.

Alla can speak some serious Мат, when called for. Remember my cupboard door story!

My Alla looked through it, there are too many mistakes to make it worth it. We lost count at 20 or so. You'd probably end up sounding silly rather than speaking good Мат! Easier to learn from your lady, if she'll teach you.

Really?! Wow, that's interesting. The book was written by a Russian, so it must have gotten screwed up by the translators. Which is funny because he dedicates an entire paragraph about how he gives very specific instructions to his translators. Or maybe it's a regional thing. Or maybe he's just an idiot.

I'm sure my lady will teach me...sort of "on the job training" if you know what I mean.

[slim 1,514]

I posted a link to this book last summer sometime after we picked it up here at the local bookstore. We happened to be getting coffee at the Starbucks inside and just for $#!ts and giggles we poked through the Russian language section. Dermo was the first book my wife picked up and she was laughing so hysterically she threw it at me and said if I wanted to speak real Russian I must study this book.

The sad part is I know just about all the words in that book and not too many in the other books. Come to think of it, if you know the words in the Dermo book, you can substitute them for the words you don't know in the other book. If you don't know the right word for her/him it doesn't matter. Throw in a nice word from the Dermo book and you'll be understood just fine.

It seems a lot of the mistakes are more of translation type mistakes with the bad words in Russian not being exactly what they would be in English. But, for the most part, in any language a bad word works in most situations. I give this book a big simply for making studying interesting. If you're interested in studying something, chances are you'll study something else too.

[mox 298]

Yeah I suspect errors are in the translation of what the phrases translate directly too, and not so much the actual phrases. I was reading some of the reviews on Amazon, and they're pretty funny. People either like it because it's a walk on the wild side, or they hate Hate HATE it because it's sooooo uncivilized. But I get the impression that the author's claims that everyone talks like this all the time are a bit exaggerated. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like our ladies would be too pleased with "I live you, b1tch, so much!"

Edit: I found Slim's original post.

Edited January 22, 2008 by mox

[slim 1,514]

reviews on Amazon, and they're pretty funny. People either like it because it's a walk on the wild side, or they hate Hate HATE it because it's sooooo uncivilized.

This is what Covino and Rich (on Maxim Radio, Sirius 108) have a bit on their show devoted to. It's called "the pu$$ification of America" and it deals with topics like this. "Ooh my gosh. People shouldn't talk like that and they should never, ever teach other people to say those dirty words. I can't believe they'd actually print a book like this."

The bit they do includes other topics, such as; making little boys sit down to pee, no more dodgeball or tag in school, everyone gets a trophy, "holiday trees" and "holiday parties" around Christmas time, hiring someone to do everything for you - changing your tire, installing your home stereo - and so on all leading up to the fact that once you hit the real world and all the "bad" stuff happens to you, our future generations will be ill-prepared to deal with adversity. And the whole world will see us for what we've become; pu$$ies.

When I read reviews from people and they have that whole tone I want to peg them in the head with a dodgeball. But, I can't because they don't play dodgeball. Even if they did, and I pegged them in the head, they'd still get a trophy because "everyone's a winner."

But I get the impression that the author's claims that everyone talks like this all the time are a bit exaggerated. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like our ladies would be too pleased with "I live you, b1tch, so much!"

Actually mox, my lady kind of likes the affectionate pet names that I've given her. Starts with an S ends with an A...

In all seriousness though, we both have a pretty fair command of mat in both languages and it does get tossed around quite regularly. We don't use it all the time, as there is a time and a place for it, "Mom, could you please pass the fu@#ing mashed potatoes?" But as they said on Lord of War, "funny how you always revert back to your native tongue in times of extreme pain or extasy."

[mox 298]

This is what Covino and Rich (on Maxim Radio, Sirius 108) have a bit on their show devoted to. It's called "the pu$$ification of America" and it deals with topics like this. "Ooh my gosh. People shouldn't talk like that and they should never, ever teach other people to say those dirty words. I can't believe they'd actually print a book like this."

Well I do have to wonder, if a person is so sensitive about the language they expose themselves to, why on earth they would go to Amazon and buy this book. It's not like they misrepresent what it's about, and hell, "дерьмо" wasn't the first Russian word I ever learned, but it was one of the top 10. It's like buying a Hustler and griping about all the pornography.

When I read reviews from people and they have that whole tone I want to peg them in the head with a dodgeball. But, I can't because they don't play dodgeball. Even if they did, and I pegged them in the head, they'd still get a trophy because "everyone's a winner."

When my kids were in preschool they'd have field day games every now and then. *Everyone* got a ribbon. The ribbons didn't even say anything on them, and they just handed them out at the finish line in complete random fashion. Drove me up a wall. I'm nowhere close to being one of those competitive parents who thinks their kids should kick everyone else's asses, but I do think (like you) that rewards should be earned, even if that means not everyone gets a pretty ribbon.

Actually mox, my lady kind of likes the affectionate pet names that I've given her. Starts with an S ends with an A...

If by that you mean it starts with a "с" and ends with an "а"...heh. That's pretty funny.

In all seriousness though, we both have a pretty fair command of mat in both languages and it does get tossed around quite regularly. We don't use it all the time, as there is a time and a place for it, "Mom, could you please pass the fu@#ing mashed potatoes?"

Ah, so you've seen my family at Thanksgiving then.