Why did the chicken cross the road: opinions of the elite

[almaty 19]

John Edwards:

Chickens won't be forced by the haves to cross the road if I'm President. My daddy was a poor chicken farmer in South Carolina. I've always worked hard for chicken farmers and the have-nots of America. I've never taken any money from the big chicken farmers like Tyson.

Barack Obama:

I once organized a chicken yard so the chickens could cross the road with pride, dignity, and hope. My grandmother raised free range chickens in Africa, before it was cool.

Hilary Clinton:

Hens do all of the hard work, while the roosters just strut around preening just like Bill. America needs a mother hen; I am that hen.

John McCain:

Fry them all!

Mike Huckabee:

The Arkansas Tysons are on my advisory board. We know chickens. God created chickens. Chickens are Christians. Mormons aren't Christians. Vote for me, cause I've been saved.

ALSO,

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER- CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^<>C% ......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

####### CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!

Edited January 21, 2008 by almaty

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

i am kinda pleased to see george w. so far down the list. maybe we are finally moving past him. about time!

[almaty 19]

bush has became a non factor and a lame duck...

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

bush has became a non factor and a lame duck...

not a moment too soon. obamas hope and hillarys girl power are newer, fresher, material.

[almaty 19]

bush has became a non factor and a lame duck...

not a moment too soon. obamas hope and hillarys girl power are newer, fresher, material.

yes sir..saw allot of bumper stickers in the blue state of illinois..:... 01/20/09..bush's last day...

[JASONandDAA 0]

Yes, soon another #######-a-doodle-doo in the Chicken House to make fun of...oh, the coop must be all it is cracked-out to be!!!