What would u do ?

[JJWashington 0]

Idocare, I feel your pain too. My ex is in federal prison for things I cannot mention here. He was first arrested in 2002 and it took me until 2006 before I forgave him. His crimes were not only against me, but also his children and other children. I KNOW the anger and hurt you feel. I also wrote letters to him and to his family which I never sent. I even made recordings of conversations I would have with him. Feel free to pm me and I can give you some other tips I used to work past the hurt. I understand that you are trying to get these women who are so blinded by love to see the signs which may be right in front of them. But they need to hear the message is a different way. This will pass, I promise.

[Bashorun 1]

Each time I read a message from IDOCARE. I wish her husband victor can come on this forum someday, post his said of the story so that we can get both sides. I know am not the only one that feels that same way though.

[Bashorun 1]

Each time I read a message from IDOCARE. I wish her husband victor can come on this forum someday, post his said of the story so that we can get both sides. I know am not the only one that feels that same way though.

Meant to say his side of the story. I'm at work while trying to post a fast one (smile)

[chispas 0]

Idocare, I feel your pain too. My ex is in federal prison for things I cannot mention here. He was first arrested in 2002 and it took me until 2006 before I forgave him. His crimes were not only against me, but also his children and other children. I KNOW the anger and hurt you feel. I also wrote letters to him and to his family which I never sent. I even made recordings of conversations I would have with him. Feel free to pm me and I can give you some other tips I used to work past the hurt. I understand that you are trying to get these women who are so blinded by love to see the signs which may be right in front of them. But they need to hear the message is a different way. This will pass, I promise.

Thanks for posting this JJ. Although you were directing it for IDOCARE, it gave me a warm feeling in my heart to "read" your reflection. Thanks, Gracias, Merci .

Chispas

[idocare 3]

Wow,

Thanks for all of your input, and personal messages. I read them all, now it's time for me to respond.

Many may think that I'm bitter and I want you all to know that that's not the case.

I'm simply finishing up my visa journey, you have to understand that I fought hard for this man to come here, I called my senators office and others like alot of you are doing just to push the process foward and not belabor it. I spent money I didn't really have to travel to his country because it was a requirement of us being together.

I sent him money for his interview and again flew down there to be with him at that interview, I paid 75% of his plane ticket to come here and did all the necessary paperwork.

There are some details that I won't mention that I did all in the name of love for this man. And I'm sure some of you have done some things that you won't mention. However I just find it odd that many would rather just walk away and not aler the immigration office when you KNOW that u have been used.

Some have titled me bitter in their minds and a vengeful seeking person but if you same people take a moment and reflect back to all that you have went thru maybe you would see where I'm coming from and may help another person that is considering marrying a alien especially one that they barely know.

My whole intent is to alarm USC of the possibilties that may happen to them and in my mind I feel that it's good to let USCIS know of your personal experience so that they could look out for the tred of people that may use marriage as a method of coming here.

Earlier I posted a old report on visa fraud, as I myself read it I noticed that what my ex has done is nothing new and that USCIS is aware of aliens coming into the country by this method. But now you have the internet which many have met there spouse's on and the scam just becomes bigger, then you add in the VAWA which I knew nothing about until meeting my ex. and you have big time exploitation.

The USCIS I believe, does keep track of the petitioners concerns and complaints and then how will they know that your spouse used u for a greencard unless you imform them ? I bet many bet on the USC being forgiving or slack in reporting them thus they go there way with green card in hand.

Do any of you really think that's helping the situation? I met some of my ex doctors friends while there in Nigeria and they echo wanting to come into America. If I turn the other cheek there will be many other trusting Americans getting used. And even with me speaking out there will be more and more Americans filing for that alien to come here. I post my thoughts remember isng how I was going thru the I-129, there were some that would post that their husband used them and I would quickly dismiss that thought, cause I knew my fiance loved me.....ha ha. So I know for many it won't sink in until that man is here and they have signed their aos and the grerncard arrives in the mail. I already know that many won''t listen. I didn't. I talked to this woman that married a Nigerian man in the early 80's that she met at the university they both graduated from. For whatever reason she didn't adjust his statis and he returned back to Nigerai and married some young girl in the villiage. This lady is now in her 50's and her husband now has I think she said 4 kids from this young girl. Her and him had one girl child here in America, he didn't know of her pregnancy cause he had already went back and she (college grad ) didn't tell him. Years went by then he contacted her and wanted to come back into America and had his young wife in the villiage talk to her and tell her that she wanted her kids to come to America also, that she was tired of that man and since he's still legally married to an american maybe the kids can come with him.

Last I heard from her she accepted some kind of teaching position there in Lagos and was leaving America within a few weeks. She didn't want to bring him here but wanted to spend some time there to see if after all those years that past them by if there was any chance of reunion although he had remarried there and had all those kids. Anyway she warned me that ( her words ) These men will do anything or say anything to get to their goal America. But did I listen noooooooooooooooooo,

So if I come off like I'm seeking full revenge on my ex. excuse that thought out your mind as I would be in Jail right now as I type. My goal is to enlighten those that are currently going thru what I and many others that used to post here may be going thru as I type.

Don't call me bitter or vengeful because I choose to continue my visa journey in a proper way.

I just can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to report fraud, who is that helping ?

Again I encourage all those who feel that they have been scammed to report it and support deportation for them, because you don't have to just sit there and take all the bull#$#$ that your going thru without trying to help yourself and the USCIS marriage fraud is very much real and if you don't report it in a small way your helping the alien scam you and your country.

Can you imagine if they told 10 people how they did it, and the end results ( my ex-wife did nothing and I paid little to get here because my ex paid my whole way and didn't even report me to immigration) many more aliens will be coming and many more USC will be scammed.

I don't believe in that cope out story about cultural differences because if that person really loves you they would have already taken that into consideration and actually had a tate of cultural difference's while you all spent time together.

Another mention was that it takes 2 to make a marriage work, well think of it this way, your spouse's goal is to divorce you eventually, once he gets his paperwork. If that is his goal then that's what he's gonna do. It takes 2 people willing to work at a marriage to make it work, if one decides they don't want nothing to do with you , no matter how hard u try it ain't gonna work.

Some as I believe my husband knew he was gonna leave me after he arrived and fullfilled the immigrations request ( that he marry within 90=days and cohabit with me ) before he struck out on his own.

If I come across bitter please don't think of it that way. that's totally NOT THE CASE It's just part of my personality, while married to my ex. I was a submissive women, a good women and still that didn't stop him from scamming me. If that is part of your alien spouse's plan nothing will stop them from attempting achieve their goal. Some have and will marry aliens that are already married in their country .

Now I just wish that more USC would get up and speak out on this issue if they feel they have indeed been scammed, after all look at all you went thru to get them here. Isn't it good to help others from going thru your pain ? Then how will they know if you just walk away without revealing the scammer?

[Donna A 4]

idocare, really from ur posts i never thought of u being bitter at all. even if u r u have a right to be. u were used and lied to. u have every right in the world to want this man to go back where he came from. he commited the crime of fraud and he doesnt have a right to stay. we cant reward people from doing wrong things.

[ogele 0]

Wow,

Thanks for all of your input, and personal messages. I read them all, now it's time for me to respond.

Many may think that I'm bitter and I want you all to know that that's not the case.

I'm simply finishing up my visa journey, you have to understand that I fought hard for this man to come here, I called my senators office and others like alot of you are doing just to push the process foward and not belabor it. I spent money I didn't really have to travel to his country because it was a requirement of us being together.

I sent him money for his interview and again flew down there to be with him at that interview, I paid 75% of his plane ticket to come here and did all the necessary paperwork.

There are some details that I won't mention that I did all in the name of love for this man. And I'm sure some of you have done some things that you won't mention. However I just find it odd that many would rather just walk away and not aler the immigration office when you KNOW that u have been used.

Some have titled me bitter in their minds and a vengeful seeking person but if you same people take a moment and reflect back to all that you have went thru maybe you would see where I'm coming from and may help another person that is considering marrying a alien especially one that they barely know.

My whole intent is to alarm USC of the possibilties that may happen to them and in my mind I feel that it's good to let USCIS know of your personal experience so that they could look out for the tred of people that may use marriage as a method of coming here.

Earlier I posted a old report on visa fraud, as I myself read it I noticed that what my ex has done is nothing new and that USCIS is aware of aliens coming into the country by this method. But now you have the internet which many have met there spouse's on and the scam just becomes bigger, then you add in the VAWA which I knew nothing about until meeting my ex. and you have big time exploitation.

The USCIS I believe, does keep track of the petitioners concerns and complaints and then how will they know that your spouse used u for a greencard unless you imform them ? I bet many bet on the USC being forgiving or slack in reporting them thus they go there way with green card in hand.

Do any of you really think that's helping the situation? I met some of my ex doctors friends while there in Nigeria and they echo wanting to come into America. If I turn the other cheek there will be many other trusting Americans getting used. And even with me speaking out there will be more and more Americans filing for that alien to come here. I post my thoughts remember isng how I was going thru the I-129, there were some that would post that their husband used them and I would quickly dismiss that thought, cause I knew my fiance loved me.....ha ha. So I know for many it won't sink in until that man is here and they have signed their aos and the grerncard arrives in the mail. I already know that many won''t listen. I didn't. I talked to this woman that married a Nigerian man in the early 80's that she met at the university they both graduated from. For whatever reason she didn't adjust his statis and he returned back to Nigerai and married some young girl in the villiage. This lady is now in her 50's and her husband now has I think she said 4 kids from this young girl. Her and him had one girl child here in America, he didn't know of her pregnancy cause he had already went back and she (college grad ) didn't tell him. Years went by then he contacted her and wanted to come back into America and had his young wife in the villiage talk to her and tell her that she wanted her kids to come to America also, that she was tired of that man and since he's still legally married to an american maybe the kids can come with him.

Last I heard from her she accepted some kind of teaching position there in Lagos and was leaving America within a few weeks. She didn't want to bring him here but wanted to spend some time there to see if after all those years that past them by if there was any chance of reunion although he had remarried there and had all those kids. Anyway she warned me that ( her words ) These men will do anything or say anything to get to their goal America. But did I listen noooooooooooooooooo,

So if I come off like I'm seeking full revenge on my ex. excuse that thought out your mind as I would be in Jail right now as I type. My goal is to enlighten those that are currently going thru what I and many others that used to post here may be going thru as I type.

Don't call me bitter or vengeful because I choose to continue my visa journey in a proper way.

I just can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to report fraud, who is that helping ?

Again I encourage all those who feel that they have been scammed to report it and support deportation for them, because you don't have to just sit there and take all the bull#$#$ that your going thru without trying to help yourself and the USCIS marriage fraud is very much real and if you don't report it in a small way your helping the alien scam you and your country.

Can you imagine if they told 10 people how they did it, and the end results ( my ex-wife did nothing and I paid little to get here because my ex paid my whole way and didn't even report me to immigration) many more aliens will be coming and many more USC will be scammed.

I don't believe in that cope out story about cultural differences because if that person really loves you they would have already taken that into consideration and actually had a tate of cultural difference's while you all spent time together.

Another mention was that it takes 2 to make a marriage work, well think of it this way, your spouse's goal is to divorce you eventually, once he gets his paperwork. If that is his goal then that's what he's gonna do. It takes 2 people willing to work at a marriage to make it work, if one decides they don't want nothing to do with you , no matter how hard u try it ain't gonna work.

Some as I believe my husband knew he was gonna leave me after he arrived and fullfilled the immigrations request ( that he marry within 90=days and cohabit with me ) before he struck out on his own.

If I come across bitter please don't think of it that way. that's totally NOT THE CASE It's just part of my personality, while married to my ex. I was a submissive women, a good women and still that didn't stop him from scamming me. If that is part of your alien spouse's plan nothing will stop them from attempting achieve their goal. Some have and will marry aliens that are already married in their country .

Now I just wish that more USC would get up and speak out on this issue if they feel they have indeed been scammed, after all look at all you went thru to get them here. Isn't it good to help others from going thru your pain ? Then how will they know if you just walk away without revealing the scammer?

Idocare,here are some talking Points for you:

Is it possible that your vendetta is not only to seek justice against a marriage fraudster,or a natural pain from a lost love,but a sub-conscious response to the realization that you may have missed out on immense economic and social gains of being married to a doctor?In other words,do you feel like this is not just any man,but a well educated “goose that would lay the golden egg?”I say so because you seem to be reacting as if this man was the only man left on earth.....or that he was simply too good to have come your way!

Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses.Forget the fact that they may live in a developing country.Did you sincerely make an objective assessment of your compatibility with your ex husband,or did you let the fact that he lived in a “third world” country becloud your analysis of this question?

Many Africans come to the United states via marriage with the genuine plan of remaining married,until they discover that everything from the family background of their U.S. spouses (brothers in jail,sisters on drugs,uncles who are pedophiles),to the previously unrevealed mental and character health of the almighty U.S. citizen petitioner,portend risks and responsibilities they are not willing to live with.I honestly feel if my own family has never given me cause to feel ashamed,I ain’t putting up with spouse family’s drama,period!

Have you searched your soul to see if there is a possibility that you were not compatible with your ex spouse?For example,the good Lord knows I can’t stand a woman who curses!That alone is a marriage spoiler for me.What if after living together,it became very glaring that both of you have issues living together?

These are just food for thought.I genuinely wish you well,but I think we deserve to ponder on the possible scenarios I listed above.

[HBO 0]

Ogele

Interesting questions. Are you from Africa? If your wife use profanity around you, you would divorce her or you all would discuss the problem?

Quote: Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses. Unquote. Guess Americans don't demand those qualities.

Idocare..... Besangin.......Thank you all a thousand time for your story. Just so you will know, some of us do listen.

JJWashington..... yes, the letter writing does help the hurt. With my ex, I did question my action more so than his. The red flags were there but I was blind. We have to admit where we went wrong also. Learn, grow and let go.

Idocare and Besangin, you all don't even have a clue how you've help me. Just wanted to let you all know.

[HBO 0]

Ogele

Interesting questions. Are you from Africa? If your wife use profanity around you, you would divorce her or you all would discuss the problem?

Quote: Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses. Unquote. Personally, I think you left out a few things go ahead and give us the full scope. Don't stop with those three things. We're waiting.

Idocare..... Besangin.......Thank you all a thousand time for your story. Just so you will know, some of us do listen.

JJWashington..... yes, the letter writing does help the hurt. With my ex, I did question my action more so than his. The red flags were there but I was blind. We have to admit where we went wrong also. Learn, grow and let go.

Idocare and Besangin, you all don't even have a clue how you've help me. Just wanted to let you all know.

One more question: Idocare, with him being a doctor in his country, why did you have to pay for his trip here and your trip there? I am just curious. Is he able to practice medicine here in the US? Is he spending time with his son? Providing support, morally, spiritually and financially (One of those moral/character things for Nigerian and African), Did he at least give you an explanation of why the marriage didn't work?

Sorry for the double post.

[ogele 0]

Ogele

Interesting questions. Are you from Africa? If your wife use profanity around you, you would divorce her or you all would discuss the problem?

Quote: Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses. Unquote. Guess Americans don't demand those qualities.

Idocare..... Besangin.......Thank you all a thousand time for your story. Just so you will know, some of us do listen.

JJWashington..... yes, the letter writing does help the hurt. With my ex, I did question my action more so than his. The red flags were there but I was blind. We have to admit where we went wrong also. Learn, grow and let go.

Idocare and Besangin, you all don't even have a clue how you've help me. Just wanted to let you all know.

HakeemConstance:

Yes,I am Igbo,a Nigerian,an African and a United States Citizen.FYI,my U.S.citizenship was not acquired through marriage.

My use of the profanity example is to highlight the fact that disagreeable personal habits can be spoilers in a relationship.And yes,I would try to talk the problem over,but since Idocare’s ex-husband is not here to defend himself,I am not overly keen to assume that he simply packed his bags and left without making an effort.

With reference to the high standards demanded by African spouses,I think that it is common knowledge that all cultures demand same.The context in which I used this is to help Idocare and many others still on their visa journey to reassess their relationships,objectively.Even at graduate school,I met some Americans who,having watched too many documentaries on starving,disease ridden,poverty infested,unemployment gutted Africa,actually believed that Africans would swallow anything to come to the United States.Please read Idocare’s every posts on how Nigerians are desperate to come to the USA.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce?You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

As a Nigerian engaged to a fellow Nigerian,there is little or no benefit in terms of advice on how to proceed with my relationship that I can receive on this forum,in the intercultural sense.But I am also as compassionate as I am pragmatic,sharing in the humanity of my fellow travelers regardless of ethnicity,race or nationality,hence my posts to contribute my humble ideas.Sometimes,you need to use a little tough love to help people along.This is a new year,a beautiful world with great prospects awaits,and I want Idocare and all others who hurt to let go and reach for their blessings.Ina proverb as ancient as my ancestors,"he who forgives,ends the argument."

I hope I was able to bring more clarity to my prior post.

[HBO 0]

Ogele

Interesting questions. Are you from Africa? If your wife use profanity around you, you would divorce her or you all would discuss the problem?

Quote: Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses. Unquote. Guess Americans don't demand those qualities.

Idocare..... Besangin.......Thank you all a thousand time for your story. Just so you will know, some of us do listen.

JJWashington..... yes, the letter writing does help the hurt. With my ex, I did question my action more so than his. The red flags were there but I was blind. We have to admit where we went wrong also. Learn, grow and let go.

Idocare and Besangin, you all don't even have a clue how you've help me. Just wanted to let you all know.

HakeemConstance:

Yes,I am Igbo,a Nigerian,an African and a United States Citizen.FYI,my U.S.citizenship was not acquired through marriage.

My use of the profanity example is to highlight the fact that disagreeable personal habits can be spoilers in a relationship.And yes,I would try to talk the problem over,but since Idocare’s ex-husband is not here to defend himself,I am not overly keen to assume that he simply packed his bags and left without making an effort.

With reference to the high standards demanded by African spouses,I think that it is common knowledge that all cultures demand same.The context in which I used this is to help Idocare and many others still on their visa journey to reassess their relationships,objectively.Even at graduate school,I met some Americans who,having watched too many documentaries on starving,disease ridden,poverty infested,unemployment gutted Africa,actually believed that Africans would swallow anything to come to the United States.Please read Idocare’s every posts on how Nigerians are desperate to come to the USA.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce?You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

As a Nigerian engaged to a fellow Nigerian,there is little or no benefit in terms of advice on how to proceed with my relationship that I can receive on this forum,in the intercultural sense.But I am also as compassionate as I am pragmatic,sharing in the humanity of my fellow travelers regardless of ethnicity,race or nationality,hence my posts to contribute my humble ideas.Sometimes,you need to use a little tough love to help people along.This is a new year,a beautiful world with great prospects awaits,and I want Idocare and all others who hurt to let go and reach for their blessings.Ina proverb as ancient as my ancestors,"he who forgives,ends the argument."

I hope I was able to bring more clarity to my prior post.

Mr. Ogele,

Thank you for the response. I did not compare Idocare and Besangin post. I said, thank you all for your story. Is that considered a comparison? I did not compare Idocare or Besangin pain. There is no comparison. Even if someone went through what I went through with my ex-American husband, they would handle it totally different than I. True, that her husband is not here to defend himself but she is only stating how she feel. I know there is two sides to every story. My personal opinion, she is telling her story. She will get past this, Job did.

Why do you feel she is harassing people? We don't have to read her post or come to this website, that is a choice.

I haven't met anyone that is desparate to come to America, but on this website there are others that have been scammed not just from Nigerians. Now I do have my opinion but I don't feel like being attacked. :dance: :dance:

I have many Nigerian/African friends that did not require their status through marriage yet there are some that did. So I am happy that you are one of millions that did not require your current status through marriage. I was curious to know if you were from Africa, so your citizenship status was not the question FYI.

What does the bible say about divorcing? Equally yoked?

We all have to learn to agree to disagree.

Constance

(Please excuse any errors)

Edited January 3, 2008 by HakeemConstance

[HBO 0]

Ogele, read her timeline it states when she filed for divorce.

[Abena Joy 2 0]

Marriage fraud: Is anyone watching?

USA TODAY

Even as the Senate and President Bush on Thursday were compromising on a proposal to restrict the number of foreigners allowed to remain in the USA, one point was overlooked: There are no limits on foreign spouses.

If you can marry a U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident (a "green card" holder), you're guaranteed permanent access to the USA.

More foreigners gain U.S. residency through marriage than any other way, Department of Homeland Security data show. Marriage-based immigration accounted for 37% of all legal immigration in 2004, more than refugees and asylum seekers and employment-based immigrants combined.

Yet, Congress and the Bush administration have been so focused on border fences, guest-worker or amnesty programs that marriage-based immigration fraud has largely gone unnoticed. Immigration officials described fraud as rampant in a 2002 GAO report. Marriage fraud accounted for approximately half of all immigration fraud cases, the agency reported.

Marriage-based immigration has clear advantages:

A foreigner who marries a U.S. citizen can gain citizenship after two years rather than the usual five-year waiting period.

Cases of marriage fraud are rarely exposed. Homeland Security says it completed investigations of only 1% of marriage-based green cards in 2004.

A foreign-born spouse can apply for a green card after two years. Once approved, he or she can begin sponsoring other family members to come to the USA.

"Marrying a U.S. citizen is one of the easiest ways to stay in the United States once within the country's borders," said Janice Kephart, former counsel to the 9/11 Commission, in a 2005 report.

Kephart raises another caution about marriage fraud. After inspecting immigration files, she discovered numerous instances of immigration and marriage fraud by suspected foreign-born terrorists operating in the USA from the early 1990s to 2005.

Of the 36 suspected terrorists who obtained green cards or U.S. citizenship in the report, half acquired this status by marrying an American — 10 of them entering sham marriages. Kephart's report was for the Center for Immigration Studies, a think tank based in Washington, D.C., that promotes tighter immigration controls.

The DHS needs to investigate more immigrant marriages, and Congress should consider lengthening the time required for foreign-born spouses to gain a green card and citizenship. If the love is real, a marriage surely will last a little longer.

Elena Maria Lopez is a freelance journalist in the Philadelphia area. She's working on a book about her green-card marriage and its aftermath.

********************************************************************************

****************

Thank you to all persons who dare to speak out about heart betrayal for the sake of a green card.

Our government has put measures in place to try and protect US citizens but still how can

one truly know when someone is lying about their love for another? You cannot, in my book,

so when such a marriage scam takes place, I think it is good to report this to the proper government

authorities and to educate the public. This kind of marriage scam is nothing new, however, it keeps

happening to innocent people whom only crime was to believe in love. My prayers goes out to all

persons whom had their dreams and love exploited for someone else's personal gain.

Peace & Healing unto you,

Abena

[HBO 0]

Marriage fraud: Is anyone watching?

USA TODAY

Even as the Senate and President Bush on Thursday were compromising on a proposal to restrict the number of foreigners allowed to remain in the USA, one point was overlooked: There are no limits on foreign spouses.

If you can marry a U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident (a "green card" holder), you're guaranteed permanent access to the USA.

More foreigners gain U.S. residency through marriage than any other way, Department of Homeland Security data show. Marriage-based immigration accounted for 37% of all legal immigration in 2004, more than refugees and asylum seekers and employment-based immigrants combined.

Yet, Congress and the Bush administration have been so focused on border fences, guest-worker or amnesty programs that marriage-based immigration fraud has largely gone unnoticed. Immigration officials described fraud as rampant in a 2002 GAO report. Marriage fraud accounted for approximately half of all immigration fraud cases, the agency reported.

Marriage-based immigration has clear advantages:

A foreigner who marries a U.S. citizen can gain citizenship after two years rather than the usual five-year waiting period.

Cases of marriage fraud are rarely exposed. Homeland Security says it completed investigations of only 1% of marriage-based green cards in 2004.

A foreign-born spouse can apply for a green card after two years. Once approved, he or she can begin sponsoring other family members to come to the USA.

"Marrying a U.S. citizen is one of the easiest ways to stay in the United States once within the country's borders," said Janice Kephart, former counsel to the 9/11 Commission, in a 2005 report.

Kephart raises another caution about marriage fraud. After inspecting immigration files, she discovered numerous instances of immigration and marriage fraud by suspected foreign-born terrorists operating in the USA from the early 1990s to 2005.

Of the 36 suspected terrorists who obtained green cards or U.S. citizenship in the report, half acquired this status by marrying an American — 10 of them entering sham marriages. Kephart's report was for the Center for Immigration Studies, a think tank based in Washington, D.C., that promotes tighter immigration controls.

The DHS needs to investigate more immigrant marriages, and Congress should consider lengthening the time required for foreign-born spouses to gain a green card and citizenship. If the love is real, a marriage surely will last a little longer.

Elena Maria Lopez is a freelance journalist in the Philadelphia area. She's working on a book about her green-card marriage and its aftermath.

********************************************************************************

****************

Thank you to all persons who dare to speak out about heart betrayal for the sake of a green card.

Our government has put measures in place to try and protect US citizens but still how can

one truly know when someone is lying about their love for another? You cannot, in my book,

so when such a marriage scam takes place, I think it is good to report this to the proper government

authorities and to educate the public. This kind of marriage scam is nothing new, however, it keeps

happening to innocent people whom only crime was to believe in love. My prayers goes out to all

persons whom had their dreams and love exploited for someone else's personal gain.

Peace & Healing unto you,

Abena

I am not watching, I'm at work. I would love to read the book. That's because I enjoy reading.

Another article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15351469/#storyContinued

Thanks

Constance

Edited January 3, 2008 by HakeemConstance

[Ta Ta 1]

Ogele

Interesting questions. Are you from Africa? If your wife use profanity around you, you would divorce her or you all would discuss the problem?

Quote: Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses. Unquote. Guess Americans don't demand those qualities.

Idocare..... Besangin.......Thank you all a thousand time for your story. Just so you will know, some of us do listen.

JJWashington..... yes, the letter writing does help the hurt. With my ex, I did question my action more so than his. The red flags were there but I was blind. We have to admit where we went wrong also. Learn, grow and let go.

Idocare and Besangin, you all don't even have a clue how you've help me. Just wanted to let you all know.

HakeemConstance:

Yes,I am Igbo,a Nigerian,an African and a United States Citizen.FYI,my U.S.citizenship was not acquired through marriage.

My use of the profanity example is to highlight the fact that disagreeable personal habits can be spoilers in a relationship.And yes,I would try to talk the problem over,but since Idocare’s ex-husband is not here to defend himself,I am not overly keen to assume that he simply packed his bags and left without making an effort.

With reference to the high standards demanded by African spouses,I think that it is common knowledge that all cultures demand same.The context in which I used this is to help Idocare and many others still on their visa journey to reassess their relationships,objectively.Even at graduate school,I met some Americans who,having watched too many documentaries on starving,disease ridden,poverty infested,unemployment gutted Africa,actually believed that Africans would swallow anything to come to the United States.Please read Idocare’s every posts on how Nigerians are desperate to come to the USA.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce?You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

As a Nigerian engaged to a fellow Nigerian,there is little or no benefit in terms of advice on how to proceed with my relationship that I can receive on this forum,in the intercultural sense.But I am also as compassionate as I am pragmatic,sharing in the humanity of my fellow travelers regardless of ethnicity,race or nationality,hence my posts to contribute my humble ideas.Sometimes,you need to use a little tough love to help people along.This is a new year,a beautiful world with great prospects awaits,and I want Idocare and all others who hurt to let go and reach for their blessings.Ina proverb as ancient as my ancestors,"he who forgives,ends the argument."

I hope I was able to bring more clarity to my prior post.

Ogele

Edited January 3, 2008 by Omoba