Children?

[Jade & Earl 2]

I have two sons from previous relationships, they have different Fathers (there is a large age gap between them -7 years)

I know you are meant to obtain both parents permission to be able to move them out of the country, however neither Father's are involved with my Sons lives, the youngest's Father has not been in contact for 2 years (our son is 4) and has no interest in seeing him. The eldest's father used to occassionally email me for photos, however he used a friends email which is no longer active. I have no way of contacting them.

Does this count as abandonment and give me automatic full custody? Could this slow down our K-1 process? My Fiance hopes to adopt both children as soon as we are married, does anyone know, will this be problematic under the circumstances?

Edited January 18, 2011 by Jade & Earl

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I have two sons from previous relationships, they have different Fathers (there is a large age gap between them -7 years)

I know you are meant to obtain both parents permission to be able to move them out of the country, however neither Father's are involved with my Sons lives, the youngest's Father has not been in contact for 2 years (our son is 4) and has no interest in seeing him. The eldest's father used to occassionally email me for photos, however he used a friends email which is no longer active. I have no way of contacting them.

Does this count as abandonment and give me automatic full custody? Could this slow down our K-1 process? My Fiance hopes to adopt both children as soon as we are married, does anyone know, will this be problematic under the circumstances?

That would depend on your country but most likely not. It is rare, especially in such things as parenthood that anything is "automatic". You would need a COURT ORDER of sole custody OR permission letters from each father that allow you to move the child PERMANENTLY to the UNITED STATES

It WILL be problematic if you do not have a court order or letters from the father's. They WILL NOT issue visas for the children without one of those things. This was something we addressed for our sons BEFORE we filed the petition. I would say "get started" on whatever route you think is best.

If you go the "letter" route, the letter needs to be notarized and you need to have a copy of the father's passport photo and signature page OR some other government issued ID with photo and signature.

Edited January 18, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[Jade & Earl 2]

That would depend on your country but most likely not. It is rare, especially in such things as parenthood that anything is "automatic". You would need a COURT ORDER of sole custody OR permission letters from each father that allow you to move the child PERMANENTLY to the UNITED STATES

It WILL be problematic if you do not have a court order or letters from the father's. They WILL NOT issue visas for the children without one of those things. This was something we addressed for our sons BEFORE we filed the petition. I would say "get started" on whatever route you think is best.

If you go the "letter" route, the letter needs to be notarized and you need to have a copy of the father's passport photo and signature page OR some other government issued ID with photo and signature.

Okay I am going to start making calls first thing tomorrow. I think I may be able to track down my eldest sons father but it will be very difficult, I can imagine he would provide consent. However I have absolutley no way of contacting the youngest childs Father, he was abusive to me and the police were notified of this, he would likely contest my decision if he could be found purely out of spite. However not even the CSA have been able to track him down so a court order would be my only option. Do you have an idea how much this would cost to obtain in the UK?

[SunDrop 59]

Your best bet would be to seek out a family solicitor and ask for an initial consultation (which is usually free of charge) where you explain what you need to achieve and they then quote for the work, briefly describing the process.

Are the fathers named on their birth certificates?

I believe you'll either need a court order granting you full and sole custody of each child or a letter from the biological parent. If I remember correctly, you'll need to demonstrate reasonable attempts to contact each father. I would take with me to the lawyer meeting any correspondence you have from the CSA showing their inability to locate them. The lawyer can advise you of what the courts consider sufficient attempts. If there is any record of the abuse, take that to the meeting too.

If your fiance wants to adopt them, you should also consult a family lawyer in his state to establish what documentation their courts would require in order to complete the adoption. Much easier to get while you're still in the country.

[Jade & Earl 2]

Thank you so much for your replies, I really appreciate your advice. I am going to contact a family solicitor tomorrow and get an interview set up. I am very concerned about how long this will take and how expensive it may be. However I may qualify for legal aid.

The police were called on my ex, I presume they will have kept a record of this. I have made no attempts to contact him as he was abusive and he has made no attempts to see his Son.

As for the eldest childs Father I have already sent some emails appealing to people who knew him for info on his current whereabouts. I will update once I have spoken to a solicitor for the reference of VJ members.

Thanks again

[Ricky+Vanessa 41]

My daughter's father is MIA although he knew all about our plans to move and was never agains, however, he wasn't around to sign anything useful for me to give the embassy.

I was asked NO questions about him or for documentations, HOWEVER, I took it upon myself to congact the Court. They confirmed in writing that there is no parental repsonsiblity agreement between us. It costs £60 for them to conduct the search and reply to you. After I received that I complied a Statutory Declaration and signed it before a Notary. That cost me £70. The notary I used was GREAT. She said she could prepare it (would cost extra) for me or I could follow the template which she sent to me. I done it myself. She looked it over and OK'd it. I went to the office and signed the relevant paperwork.

Although I was not asked at the interview for anything at all I feel MUCH much better that I have both the Statutory Declaration and the confirmation from the Court just in case.

If you need to see what the Statutory Declaration looks like I can send you the template and also a copy of the request to the Court and the contact details. I got the confirmation back from the Court in about a week. It was quick.

Also have a look at this thread:

Parental Responsibility

[Jade & Earl 2]

My daughter's father is MIA although he knew all about our plans to move and was never agains, however, he wasn't around to sign anything useful for me to give the embassy.

I was asked NO questions about him or for documentations, HOWEVER, I took it upon myself to congact the Court. They confirmed in writing that there is no parental repsonsiblity agreement between us. It costs £60 for them to conduct the search and reply to you. After I received that I complied a Statutory Declaration and signed it before a Notary. That cost me £70. The notary I used was GREAT. She said she could prepare it (would cost extra) for me or I could follow the template which she sent to me. I done it myself. She looked it over and OK'd it. I went to the office and signed the relevant paperwork.

Although I was not asked at the interview for anything at all I feel MUCH much better that I have both the Statutory Declaration and the confirmation from the Court just in case.

If you need to see what the Statutory Declaration looks like I can send you the template and also a copy of the request to the Court and the contact details. I got the confirmation back from the Court in about a week. It was quick.

Also have a look at this thread:

Parental Responsibility

Oh thank you so much!! This is a huge weight off my mind, this is definitely the route I will take as I don't want to break the law, or complicate things when it comes to my Fiance adopting them. I don't want to contact my youngest sons ex due to the abuse we suffered. I feel that even allowing him any contact details of mine could cause the harrassment to begin once more. I will make the necessary calls asap. The only concern I have is it seems the law changed in 2002, I don't know how old your daughter is but my youngest was born in 2007. But thank you very much for your response!

Edited January 18, 2011 by Jade & Earl

[NICK AND FI 0]

hi everyone...

ive myself just put post up about the same issue...im in exactly tha same boat....i guess my only way was for court order and my daughter is 17 and we havent seen or heard from her father for 14 years..what i was wondering is there a cut off age in the UK for this parental consent or does it make no difference as its US law????