akdiver

If you think we've got it hard, try marrying Muhammed Ali Akbar Husseini al Shamra.... who happens to be from Iraq.Talk about an "administrative hold." My real sympathy goes out to the girls that are marrying guys from Arabia and North Africa, as well as some from South-East Asia.

aww, thanks.

Yeah, esp. since they're just a bunch of terrorists waiting to blow us up anyway.

Yeah, the stereotypes are not very nice, are they?

Cheers!

AKDiver

What is a "State ID Card"--?? I never heard of sucha thing

Really? Wow.

Well, it's an ID card issued by a DMV for people who can't get a driver's license for one reason or another - but most DMVs will also give you one in addition to a driver's license (i.e. you can get both). It's really handy to have a US-issued photo ID, esp. one that doesn't give any indication as to immigration status or otherwise. It's also helpful to have it as an additional ID. These days, people are asking for 2 or 3 IDs to get anything done, so it never hurts to have another. You're from SC? Check it out: http://www.dmv.org/sc-south-carolina/id-cards.php

Although, it says:

South Carolina offers an online checklist to help you determine which types of documentation you will need. Although the list is lengthy, you will basically need to provide proof of your identity, residency, and your Social Security number. You will need to take one or two documents from each section on the list, so round them up before going to the DMV.

They want an SSN for it, Alaska DMV does not require one. It also appears SC limits to US Citizens only, which also sucks.

Anyway, rules vary by state.

Good luck!

AKDiver

Why get all worked up over an article that looks like it was written by a high-schooler to fulfill some kind of class assignment? Save your energy for attacks on "journalists" that are a real threat.

This proves she, like the A/Ws that frequent this forum as of late to express their "displeasure" with the "importation of mail-order brides," proves that she lacks the common understanding of why this industry thrives.

Well, it's like any other market really. The dominant players are always on-guard against the threat of competition that can do them harm. In this case, it's local women accustomed to running the show vs. foreign women who may be more willing or able to meet the needs of men looking for wives.

Cheers!

AKDiver

But I am pretty disgusted with the endless stuff going on here about all the hot Russian women and that was why I made my comment. I am in a different situation from most of my Russian friends in that I have spent a lot of time in the US and know what I'm getting into. I feel sad that so many women marry men they barely know as their only way to escape hardship in their country, marry men who can't speak their language. Yes I know it's what-you-might-call voluntary, hopefully they will grow to love each other, but American women do not generally have to make such choices. And I don't mean to say that all you people are like that because I know there are many different cases, such as AKDiver. But maybe you could think about what you say, think how it sounds to a person like me who knows the women you are talking about.Unless this is just a boy's club here.

You know - on this forum, in several different threads, I have spoken AT LENGTH on respect for women, the need for honesty in a relationship, and related things. I don't think I have much more to say on the issue. Dig around, read it if you want to.

Umm I didn't say I hate prostitution so don't ever go to one

Well, you did say "I think prostitution is disgusting...that's just my personal opinion...I would NEVER be with a man who had been with one ." If there is a distinction there, I'm not sure what it is.

I was just expressing an opinion - i even said JUST MY OPINION.

and, what? You want a prize? We are ALL expressing our opinions. They don't even need to be labeled as "JUST MY OPINION" as pretty much anyone who needs to can distinguish between opinion and fact.

So while you may find some people on this board who think of Russian women in the way you described we do not all think this way. Some of use truly want a partner who we feel understands us and who we want to understand and spend our lives together laughing, loving, and raising a family.

Amen, brother!

I think their reasons for marrying a Western (Aussie, American, British, etc.) man are as diverse as the WM's reason for seeking their potential partner in Eastern Europe, Russia and other countries. In fact I think just about every couple, and every guy has a different story to tell.

Amen, brother!!! Please do not group us all into the "we only want to have sex with hot, easy to control wives, plus prostitutes" category.

And yeah, some guys are just about the external looks of "wow, check these babes out", but then again, the men in various countries, France, Italy, other countries are well known for "checking out the hotties". The thing is, they don't post here.

This is such a farce - as if women, from all countries, do not also check out who they perceive to be hotties. Honestly, it astounds me that the fact that people like to look at hotties is news to anyone.

Anyway, I'm going to throw a little popcorn at AKDiver and get him all riled up..... AKDiver, you're talking about trolls and baiters, but I'd like to give you the ultimate troll and baiter award.... It really did make it to legend status here on VJ, and I admire the brains it took to concoct a story so grand!

Nah...I'll take the compliment and remind you that there is a HUGE difference between posting what was supposed to be, and what many people surmised, was an OBVIOUS JOKE, and picking a fight with a "Russian Mail-Order Bride" comment. I couldn't believe that people took such a post seriously and was amazed at how it caught fire. It just goes to show you, generally-speaking, people are dumber than you give them credit for. (:

I havent heard that since I left home.

I've spent a lot of time in Canada. Probably seen more of it than most Canadians (: I loved Nova Scotia, I wouldn't mind living there if it were not for the high taxes and general socialism. (:

First I think AK is just getting ready to unleash on Slim.

Nah..if I wanted to unleash on Slim, it would have been over his "I can understand why Cam would go visit a hooker shortly before or after he went to visit the possible love of his life" comments. Some pretty twisted logic in there that cost Slim some respect in my book. But hey, Slim doesn't know me, so why should he care? Hint: he shouldn't. (:

How can you truly direct your attention and efforts towards your dates if your thinking about the hooker thats showing up to the room at 2am to get your rocks off. Your mind can't truly be 100% focused on the task at hand and thats to find a woman that you are compatible with and that you might want to spend the rest of your life with. It's like an american couple and they are having problems. Then one of them goes out and cheats and takes time for this other person. How can the married couple take time to fix the problem if one of them is out bangin someone else and putting time and effort into an extramarital affair.

I agree with all of this. But in the case of a truly single person, then I see no issue with a girl (or guy) going out to visit all the hookers she (he) wants. No harm done, and a lot more honest & straight-forward than going on a "date", spending lots of time and money on the pretense of "getting to know someone" when really all you want is to get laid, that's for sure.

Besides, what's the difference between deciding to have sex with someone you meet at a bar simply because you want to get laid, and deciding to have sex with someone you meet on the street corner simply because you'd like to get laid and don't mind paying cash in the process? Finding one any less disgusting than the other is purely a matter of propaganda absorption.

That leave one to argue that both are equally bad - in comparison with the "way it should be", where you only have sex with someone you are in love with. OK, I'll buy that, it's certainly my view, but it is still arbitrary, and completely dependent on one's opinion about sex, love, and probably a few other things. There is no absolute truth involved in such a belief.

Then we move on to the other extreme, "sex is only for people who are married." Again, just another opinion, this time based on the supposed absolute truth of some moldy old text. In the end, it's still just an opinion.

So, in the end, what are we left with? In the general sense, who should have sex with who is just opinion. As a result, some people will have sex with other people in circumstances where we might not do so. Big deal! As long as no one is getting hurt, and this is the key here, no one else is getting hurt, then what business is it of ours and why should we care? Hint: we shouldn't.

Then we move on to something of substance - having sex with someone else, where it affects a third party in some definite, tangible, usually negative way. How is this defined and measured, and are there degrees of how "bad" it is?

That will have to wait for another time - I need to study for my Russian quiz, which is in about 20 minutes. (:

Cheers!

-AKDiver

So... she's here. What now?

I covered this pretty well in my one-year report. If you want a checklist of things you should do, check it out:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=30844

Generall, the order goes something like this:

• state ID card
  
• SSN card
  
• driver's license
  
• marriage document
  
• open joint accounts (may want to wait until you have certified/recorded marriage cert in hand
  
• file AOS/EAD
  
• name change issues
  

Room for some variation on joint accounts if you want to wait until she has something with official name change info on it. What we sent for AOS was not good enough for banks and SSN and we had to wait weeks for the recorded marriage certificate.

Elena arrived on Tuesday night. She passed through JFK and got the temporary employment stamp in her passport. They kept the rest of her packet though, so all she has is her passport with a visa stamped with employment authorization, and an A#. She brought with her too a Russian driver's license.

That stamp is only good for 90 days. Odds are good you will use some of that time getting an SSN and finding a job. Your AOS will not be done in 90 days, so she will have to either quit, or get a reguar EAD card, which she can't do until you submit AOS. My advice is to do both ASAP after getting married.

Today we were looking at jobs online, and started applying for one. We had to stop where it said Social Security # and the little light in my head went off: "Wait a minute, we were supposed to go get you a social this week."

Yeah, you need to do that.

I guess we should go to the social security office, then maybe go to the Ohio BMV for a (possible) local DL or ID card, and then what? Should we be applying for any AOS or anything like that before getting married? I know AKDiver had all their stuff ready to drop in the mail upon marriage. I would like to do the same.

Can't AOS until after you get married.

Another thing... I've never been married before, so where do I get the marriage license, the courthouse? Maybe google can help me out here. We're going to do the "documents only" wedding, so that should make things pretty simple.

County clerk's office is your best bet.

If you're not delaying marriage for some particualr reason (i.e. having an event, waiting for relatives, etc.), then go to the county clerk's office and get the marriage license. Rules vary, but that may be enough, or you may need to have a little thing in front of a magistrate to seal the deal. Once you have that, then you can apply for AOS and EAD at the same time, and AP if you want/ need it. You can put that stuff in the mail the same day as you get married, but you need to include a copy of your marriage certificate, not just the license.There may be a significant delay in getting a marriage certificate, as generally it is a recorded document and there are delays. When you talk to the county clerk, tell them you want to get a certified copy (I'd get two if I were you) of your marriage certificate ASAP and you don't care how much extra you have to pay. You need that for filing AOS, which is something you want to do as soon as you can. If/when you have to do a little thing in front of the magistrate, be sure to mention again that you need to get a certified copy of your marrige certificate - and tell why if you want to.

The temp EAD will almost certainly expire before you get your AOS completed, so when you filing for AOS, I advise filing for EAD at the same time. That way, she can get a job and keep it without worrying about the 90 days expiration.

Highly recommend getting a state ID card right away - as soon as you can. Today, tomorrow. Rules vary, but many states want you to have a SSN for a DL, but generally not for a ID card. Also, the unexpired EAD stamp in the passport along with visa info should be enough. Generally people at the DMV are clueless and feel their job is to deny whatever you want. If you don't get satisifcation with the first clerk, do not hestitate to ask for a supervisor. REVIEW THE REQUIREMENTS FOR GETTING AN ID CARD BEFORE YOU GO! Most DMVs have this info on their website now. Having that ID card will be good because she will not have to carry her passport everywhere, risking losing it. That would not be good. Anyway, for us, all they wanted to see to get the ID card was her passport with the K1 visa - that was good enough. They didn't want an SSN (which we didn't have that first day), marriage info, or anything else. For the DL, she had to have a SSN.

Hope this helps - be sure to check out that link to the other thread at the top of this message.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Tell us how you really feel, AKDiver!

Right now, I feel hungry. It's good that lunch is cooking (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

I think prostitution is disgusting...that's just my personal opinion..

So don't go to one...and don't become one. Duh. I personally wouldn't ever go to one either, but I don't care if someone else does.

just one more reason for some of ya'll to cross us off your list

newsflash honey, you were never on our "lists".

See everyone, this is how you disagree with someone's post without calling them names or slinging personal insults.

Tried that - but patience wears thin after a while when it becomes clear that certain people are just trolls and baiters, who don't actually contribute anything (note that tman is not in this category), and they ignore the thoughtful posts, and just want to tell you how evil you are.

I mean that's how ~I~ read her posting, perhaps you should re-read it, before your flamethrower gets ignited???

I read her post entirely the first time. I knew the facts as you pointed out when I made my reply. Fact is, I have seen no contribution and nothing but criticism from this poster, and despite the fact that she may be a RW (I hate that term), she doesn't seem any different from the rest of the trolls & baiters to me.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Interesting "Russian Brides" program on cable channel, "Discovery Times". They tend to repeat these programs, so you might want to check it out.

Good luck to all!

AKDiver

I'm going to get slaughtered for this....... but, Personally, I don't see the problem with partaking in the "services" of a working girl while in Russia.

Well....I don't have any problem with prostitution in general. I would never go to one, but to each their own. I think it should definitely be legal (my wife tells me it is not legal in Russia by the way). After all, what's the difference between selling out and slaving away for "the man" by using your brain, or actually giving some pleasure to someone by using your body? There is no moral issue involved.

The issue here is whether or not it is appropriate to use such services while on a visit to someone you're supposed to be having a relationship with. Personally, I think the answer is of course a resounding, "no ###### way". However, there is a clear, simple, and objective test to determine the truth of the matter. That test is this..... if our good friend Cam tells this girl that he visited a hooker while he was there, then clearly, it's not inappropriate, by his own standards. He isn't trying to hide anything, and this other girl can decide to continue a relationship with him (or not), knowing all the facts. On the other hand, if our good friend Cam conceals this fact, well, then he is clearly ashamed of his actions, has something to hide, believes that telling this girl is not a good idea, and the only reason can be that he believes it will damage this relationship. By hiding this fact, he is clearing lying to her (a lie of omission), and reveals himself to be the dirt bag that we (except Slim) believe him to be. I'm willing to bet this is the case - he will not tell this girl about his visit to the hooker, and based on everything Cam has said since he showed up in this forum, I have no doubt that he is a dirt bag. I knew he would have SOMETHING interesting to say when he came back. I knew he wouldn't let me down - but I thought for sure it would involve being scammed in some way, I didn't expect this. But in the end, he didn't let me down. (:

As for whether or not this is a joke of some kind, no, i don't think so. Cam has demonstrated himself to be a dirt bag with most of his posts. Visiting hookers is something that seems to be in his character. I'm not surprised he would visit a hooker, but given the level of intelligence he has displayed on here however, I am surprised that he managed to successfully negotiate the transaction. She must have spoken pretty good English. My guess is he overpaid though. My wife says hookers in Kazan go for $5-$10/hr (sometimes they advertise I guess). In Moscow, it's no doubt quite higher. She also says that diseases are a really big problem - so we can all only hope that Cam made the wise choice to wrap his willy. However, given the attitudes toward birth control in Russia, it's a fair bet that this isn't the case. All the more reason why he should tell anyone he choses to be involved with about his hooker visiting habits, which of course, I would bet money he will not do. So, how about it Cam, will you tell these girls you are communicating with about your hooker experience? Why, or why not?

On an unrelated note, I personally think that anyone who is spending time with hookers isn't ready for marriage with any woman, regardless of where she is from, or what twisted logic one uses to justify it.

YOUR forum??? I didn't see your name over the door, sorry!

I said OUR forum, not MY forum. Pinhead.

Aside from that, I have READ other topics that have been brought up in VJ's Russian forum, and have previously bitten my tongue. So just maybe it's you that needs to be hit with the sarcasm stick and not me

Nice try. Thanks for playing, pinhead.

There is just TOO MUCH testosterone penetrating this forum! Reading this post at least, I couldn't help but mention this. The Middle East/North Africa forum seems so female in comparison, and frankly less jumpy if maybe a little more backbiting. But it's much more FUN....(who mainly stays away from here so she probably doesn't quite understand the complex personalities and nuances of those involved, sorry.)

Good lord. Then go the ###### away. No one is forcing you to come here. Don't let the door hit you on the ### on the way out.

What is it with the people who come here, who have nothing to do with Russian/US immigration issues, contribute NOTHING to the forum, and pollute the threads with their off-topic #######? You people contribute nothing, so why are you here? Have you people nothing better to do? Jezz.

Cheers, and good luck to all!

AKDiver

So what about Texas gave you much grief or California for that matter?

Well, first of all, it's full of Texans. While there may be exceptions, in my experience, this is a group of very small-minded people that think the world begins and ends with Texas. It's like the old joke - in Texas, no one will ask where you are from. Why? Because if you're from Texas, you'll mention it without waiting to be asked. If you're not from Texas - well, then it doesn't matter. Aside from that, if you factor in the heat, culture, and general flatness, it's just not a very interesting place to me.

As for California - frankly, from my point of view, what about California DOESNT suck? First of all, there are too many people. Whiny, bitchy, shallow, liberal, beach-type people. People who think that the world owes them a living, you know? People who want to take my money and give it to someone else. People who want to suck up a lot of energy and resources, but don't want to have any of the negatives that come with such nice things, and then complain when prices get high because they will not allow people to build energy plants - but they are more than happy for them to get built in OTHER states, which have to deal with any problems, while of course, sending their output to California. Suing car companies for global warming? Give me a ###### break. How about we put California as a co-defendent, considering how many cars are running around in California. Anyway, politics is a big factor. Then there is the California attitude & culture to deal with, which I address somewhat in these other issues. Then you factor in the stuff like gangs & celebrities running around everywhere, and the traffic, and the noise, and the overcrowding in general. Then factor in stuff like the heat, and the ###### taxes - my god - the taxes. Then you factor in cost of living in other areas, like housing and such. I also don't speak Spanish. The list just goes on and on and on. And for what? Why the hell live in California? So you can be near the beach? Go to some big malls? I just don't understand the attraction, esp. considering the negatives. Since I am a software developer by trade, someplace like Silicon Valley SHOULD be the place for me, right? Not a chance. No way would someone pay me enough to live in that cesspool. The bottom line is that the quality of life, as I define it, is just not there. I have it much better in Alaska than I ever could in California. I make the same or better money, but with no state income tax, a 15 minute drive to work, much cheaper housing, and so forth. So, in the end - if people want to live in California, more power to them - but I consider the place to be uninhabitable. (:

I just read tman's post about Cali - and I agree with pretty much everything he said. You can add that to my list of grievances too. (:

Finally - while I love Alaska, I will only tell you bad, awful, evil things about it because the last thing we need is some kind of mass exodous of people from the rest of the U.S. coming to live here. You guys can keep your Lower-48 lifestyle right where it is (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

p.s.: As for Chicago, I changed my oil at the airport there once as I was driving through (:

but it's people like Cam that give all of you a bad name...ya know?

Yeah - I know. Some people are simply incapable of seeing others as individuals, rather than just a stereotype. I understand completely.

Good luck to you.

Cheers!

AKDiver

p.s.: California sucks, but not as much as Texas. (:

Talk about stirring the pot!

At least when I stir the pot, I bring my own stick (:

Incidentially, I HAVE lived in Texas.... I was so happy to leave that when I finally got the chance, I made for the border as fast as I could. When I got to Oklahoma, I pulled over, got out of the car, went over to the Texas state line, dropped my pants and took a piss on Texas - vowing never to return.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Yes!! Please share!! I mean the kinkyness of a hooker is sooo much more important than the actually finding a wife part! Wife bah! who needs love eh? You coulda saved a fortune tho, USA has hookers! Yes! I know! Weird huh? AKDiver you sound like a college kid quizzing a frat brother on his conquests. Hey, maybe when Cam finds himself a russian piece of a$$, u could swap and compare notes? Now THAT would be fun! Be sure to record it for us all. Your lack of respect for females abhors me

You oviously do not know sarcasm when you see it. If you had bothered to read much of the material here, you would know how I feel about Cam and his ways.

Your lack of a clue abhors me.

Can you go away now and never come back? Thanks!

And who the hell are YOU to be spouting orders? Especially on this forum, you goddamned interloper. YOU can feel free to go away and never come back to our forum. Jezz - the nerve of some people. Maybe if you would bother to READ everthing we post instead of just enough to satisfy your preconceptions of what the people here are about, then you would be more informed on what some of the posts are actually about.

Dumbass.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Took a couple tours of the city. Saw the Kremlin and a Monastary, really pretty places. Would not recommend riding the buses around town they hit pot holes that will chip your teeth. Couldn't go to Russia with having a beautiful Russian hooker, but that is another story.

Wow! Welcome back Cam!

So, tell us more about this hooker. Did you meet her in Kazan, or Moscow, or somewhere else? How much did you pay? Was she good? Did she good kinky things with you? Did you have sex with the girlfriend too, or just the hooker? Did you try for the 3-way? Wow!! This is good stuff!! Tell us more, please.

Does the girlfriend know about the hooker? Or is the hooker now the girlfriend? Or do you now have two girlfriends? Will you marry the hooker? Tell us everything!!

Cheers!

AKDiver

I have to say, I'd rather live in Russia than California. That's not saying much though, since I would pretty much rather live anywhere but California. That said, if one lives in California then, well, can't complain about it or the high cost of living - those are just some of the reasons not to live there. Hell, I'd even rather live in France than California. Ugh. OK, Enough about how much California sucks my...well, anyway. (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

p.s.: California sucks, but not as much as Texas. (:

Basically it boils down to this: the basis of your relationship (and her pending immigration) should be based on love and everything else should be erroneous. If she's placing more emphasis on where you're going to live, what car she's going to drive, what her allowance is going to be, etc., then you've got a girl that is looking for a better life. If she's saying "nothing matters, only that we be together" then you should be OK.

Definitely.

One day recently I came home and not in a great mood, which was obvious, and my sweetie kept asking me what was wrong. When I told her that I might need to be looking for a job soon (to replace a rather hard to get, high-paying job), I was stunned when all she had to say was something to the effect of, "oh, is that all?? Sweetie, don't worry about it so much. Things could be much worse - we could have health problems or some other such thing." Not a WORD about money, or paying bills, or anything along those lines.

I love my supportive sweetie!

Cheers!

AKDiver

I did this over a year ago. Those who were around read about it in the old forums which are offline now. However, the real goal is to do what Ak pulled off.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=33463

True. It's worth pointing out here that the OP did not actually change the name in the passport, but only added an alias. Still worth doing, but not quite the same thing. I think actually changing the name and ending up with a "legalized" marriage document adds some extra "weight" in situations where it may be needed.

Good luck to all!

AKDiver

i have to agree with you slim, i think you phrased this post much better than some previous posts you have written about this.

You have to look around. We have already discussed this, at length, and frankly, there are no significant new insights as a result of the latest trolling.

If you want to read a thoughtful response I wrote on another thread, then here it is:

Oh come on. This argument is ridiculous.

How many American guys here would be hot to fall in love with the fat woman working at McDonald's? How many of you are seeking out the fat ugly women from overseas? Is it just coincidence that the men here are ending up with hot, hot wives - in many cases, far hotter than they could hope for if they limited their search to American women? That's what I thought. To claim that American women are any more deficient in this area of superficiality than American men are is fantasy.

Some can argue if they want to, but I think that, broadly speaking, we can observe two facts at play:

1). Most of the American men that are the subject of this discussion are ending up with far hotter women than they would if they were only dating American women.

2). Most of the foreign women that are the subject of this discussion have different cultural values than American women.

Facts are facts and I really don't think there is much room for valid debate on these statements, as they are phrased. So, that leaves us with the question of WHY? Why are these men ending up with the hotter women, and why do these women have different values, and what are those values? This is where the room for debate lies.

There are lots of theories I guess, but I'll take a quick stab (I have some other stuff to do at the moment). One theory for the hotter women is simply different (not lower!) standards. The hot foriegn women are willing to settle for the less-than-hot men for one reason or another. The question is, why? One answer is culture (which I'll address in a minute). Another is diminished choices. Perhaps their local supply of men is such that foreign men are simply more desirable than local men - for one reason or another. Maybe the local men are fat & ugly too. Maybe they drink too much. Maybe they tend to be unemployed. Maybe they just have bad character. Maybe local culture is such that men are taught to be not very nice to women. Who knows? What we do know is that women are willing to pay tremendous (social) costs to tap into a different supply chain of men.

Now for culture...let's face it, American culture, such as it is, is fraught with problems. In my opinion, it teaches people (men AND women) to be materialistic, shallow, self-centered, short-sighted, and hedonistic. That's a damning analysis, I know, but it's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. You're entitled to yours as well, but right now we are talking about mine. (:

Anyway - People with such a culture can be considered by some, even those growing up in such a culture, to be unsuitable marriage partners. Maybe they simply are not attracted to such people. Maybe they're attracted to them, but have some negative relationship experiences with them. Maybe they actively reject this culture on principle and want someone with different values that are, most likely, going to come from someone raised in a different culture. At the end of the day, what we know is that some men decide to seek out foriegn women, and many of them claim this culture difference or negative experiences with local women as the reasons why. We can take them at their word, or simply insist on believing they just want women who are hotter than they are "entitled to" based on American standards of beauty, success, and class. To each their own.

Now - as for the culture of these foreign women... no one with any intelligence can seriously disagree that women from a foreign country are raised in a non-American culture and this affects their belief and value systems. It's just an obvious given. The question is, what is this difference and how does it affect choice in relationship partners? Again, there are many theories and none is likely to be applicable to all cultures.

Let's deal with the common consideration - that these women are no different than American women, they are simply looking for a better life and are happy to jump on board with a rich man, and that is their primary criteria. Well, hell, sounds a lot like Americanism to me. How can any American seriously criticize this strategy? Yeah, sure, some foreign women probably fall into this category, but hey, so do a lot of American women! Don't resent the foreign women for this - they simply want to make their lives better and are willing to do what it takes in the process, all while hurting no one. Nothing wrong with that.

Another consideration is that maybe their values really are different. Maybe they don't care about marrying a rich and successful husband. Maybe they want to marry a GOOD MAN who treats them well and they don't care where he happens to live. Further, maybe their culture is such that they simply don't place the value on the big house, 5 cars, and other material things that American culture does. Maybe they are less superficial about their marriage partner's looks? Maybe they look at the deeper character? Maybe they know that men who are not "competitive" when it comes to American women, because of their looks, finances, social skills, or other factors, have a lot of love to give, that the supply of such love may have been building up for many years, and they will treat their wife like a queen. Maybe many American women don't marry such men because they don't know these things, refuse to believe these things, or are culturally incapable of believing these things. Maybe while the American women thinks, "well, I want to marry a good man too - but these other things matter a lot!" (or deceives herself into thinking she doesn't care about these things when she really does), the foreign women REALLY thinks these other things just don't matter so much. This certainly SEEMS to be the case, if you read their dating profiles and look at the marriage choices they make. So yes, while these hot women, IF THEY WERE AMERICAN WOMEN, would certainly make different, culturally-induced choices, the fact is, they are NOT American women. They are from different places, have different values, and make difference choices. Further, the BASIS for their choices, and the choices themselves, are JUST AS VALID as the choices American women make, and they should not be criticised for those choices. Let them the hell alone. Leave their men alone too.

Finally, we can address the "fat/ugly/stupid/loser American man treats foreign model-quality/sex-goddess/beautiful women like #######" argument. This comes in three forms. The first form is that such men seek out foreign women mainly for power and control reasons, so they can treat them poorly and "get away with" things they would never get away with in a marriage with an American women. Honestly, this argument is bunk. No man, unless he is just a complete and utter fool, goes through the hassle, bother, complication, and yes, expense, of marrying any women, let alone a foreign women, specifically with the intention of treating her poorly. What would be the point? Honestly, who the hell needs that headache?

The second form of this argument is that foreign women are happy to put up with such treatment because even so, life is much better than before. Again, this argument is largely bunk. Women, no matter where they are from or what their culture is, want to love and be loved - and they know when that is not happening (women appearing on Cops and Jerry Springer excluded). Foreign women don't want to be mistreated any more than American women do. Further, just like SOME American women will put up with years of abuse "for the sake of the children", "because they don't know what to do", want to better position themselves for divorce, or simply want to keep using (yes, using) the man for what he provides them, so will SOME foreign women. This shouldn't be news to anyone, and is rather obvious. Big deal. Users come in all shapes and sizes, and strategy is appropriate for all situations. In the situation of a bad marriage, it's important to develop a good exit strategy, and that may take some time. In the interim, one has to make the best of the present situation. Duh.

The third form is that there really is a group of men out there who are in fact losers and dirt bags. Their beliefs about women and how they are treat women are disgusting. They treat women as trophies and sex objects, and use power and money to control them, all while not loving them. Obviously, this is not a good thing, but it's also a much smaller proportion of men than many women seem to believe. Further, there is a similar group of women who treat men in a like fashion. Such a women will use a man she doesn't particularly love or care about to provide her with a lifestyle she could never manage on her own, father and fund her children for 18+ years, and continue to suck up his resources long after she has stopped loving him because she is too gutless and pathetic to be honest, have an equitable divorce, and try to make it through life on her own. Such women are as disgusting as the men. Both groups should be reviled.

So, in summary, people make difference choices, and they make them for reasons other than the ones we might make ourselves. Big deal. Let everyone live their own lives and take care of their own problems, concentrate on your own issues, and try very hard not to judge other people for their different decision-making criteria because when it comes right down to it, as long as they are not hurting anyone, it's really none of your business. In the meantime, watch your criticism of other people's superficiality. Be more honest with yourself because odds are stronger than not that you (yes you!) are more superficial in a variety of ways than you give yourself credit for. Yes, it's true. And yes, I include myself in this statement.

As for the losers in our society, the men and the women, there isn't much we CAN do about them if we're not willing to address the cultural issues that promote such problems. That's a matter of political issues that no one seems to have the stomach to address, so we'll just have to live with it.

Cheers!

AKDiver

I can't believe you had the guts to imply something about my English when you don't even know me.

I didn't imply anything your English. You asked about language barriers with wives, and I said there isn't any with mine because she probably speaks English better than you do. That doesn't make any comment at all about your ability to speak English.

Aside from that, it's nice to hear you don't appreciate it when people imply things about you. Neither does anyone on here.

I don't have issues with how people meet - why would I care how people live their lives, it's none of my business.

And yet, you ask! Go figure.

And I got all those insults in response...

Probably has something to do with your snooty posts.

I don't even want to post here any more

Great!

I really don't see a point in posting here if all I get from it is name calling

Post posts with information, get treated with respect. Post posts implying you're somehow better than other people due to circumstances of meeting, and get treated accordingly.

Cheers!

AKDiver

it did sound snooty but notice she was aiming the question AT women about meeting their HUSBANDS

Nevertheless - it is highly unlikely that a women could meet her husband without the husband also meeting her. The details of the meeting are the same, regardless of whether it is the husband or the wife anwering the question.

The poster is clearly trying to bait the people here - as if someone who arrives in the U.S. as a "student" and then gets married 5 months later has somehow got a magic lock on what constitutes a "real" relationship.

Cheers!

AKDiver

I'm just curious if I'm the only one here who didn't meet my husband through a marriage broker/mail order arrangement. I'm also curious if you and your Rissian fiancee had a language barrier.

No, there is nothing special about you. For instance, I met my wife in Cairo, while on vacation in Egypt, on my way back from climbing Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Since she probably speaks better English than you do, there was no language barrier.

Do you have any more snooty questions?

Cheers!

AKDiver

I dunno why you guys are even bothering to "defend yourselves" against the likes of trolls & flamebaiters like silly_chick. When you read something like, 'well, you guys all suck and lick ### and should be shot in the head - but hey, that's just my opinion', just MOVE ON to posts that have something intelligent to say.

Morons are going to believe whatever morons want to believe, and nothing you say will convince them otherwise. Why waste your time with this stuff?

Cheers!

AKDiver

My, maybe you are just perfect?

Nope. I have many, many, many flaws.

I had 3 people checking the form, including an officer at my local office, and we ALL missed it.

Wow!! Sounds like you could use more effective checkers.

Cheers!

AKDiver

unlike akadiver I have mada few mistakes in my life, lol If they find soemthign wrong with it, they will send it back and it should be a quick fix. I wouldn't loose too much sleep over it, we al make mistakes. I get confused with the proper format of dates al lthe tiem, is the day first, or the month?

Hey, I make plenty of mistakes - daily!! I was just trying to point out that NO ONE has a greater incentive to make sure your forms are correct than you do. This being the case, since one has the greatest interest in one's own form, it only makes logical sense that one is most likely to end up with correct forms by doing them oneself.

Well we did it to avoid that as a matter of fact, an error, they helped us prepare the package as well and I did not wanted to have the risk of doing it wrong.

In this case, the OP says he had someone else do them to avoid a mistake, and yet, that's exactly what happened! I was pointing out the flaw in this logic, and, as it so happens, the OP's theory is what led to the mistake being caused. Hmm...go figure.

It's also worth pointing out that when it comes to the practical advice, you said the same thing I did, more or less. So there! (:

That being said, honestly, I just don't see how people make such trivial, obvious mistakes with this stuff. I wonder do they just not take the forms seriously, or just whip through them as fast as they can, or what? For example - I JUST did this form over the weekend. I spent about 8 hours Friday night on it. Then I spent, literally, all day Saturday, from about 1030am until 1030pm on it. That's a total of about 20 hours start to finish, filling out the actual form, getting the evidence together (which, incidentially, was ALREADY collected and organized from previous filings), printing things out, making copies, getting it organized into the package, writing cover letters explaining everything, looking over everything with a fine tooth comb, over and over, having OTHERS look it over, etc. etc. etc. I'd be willing to be that people making simple mistakes on such forms are just not spending enough time on them. But that's just a guess.

Good luck to all!

Cheers!

AKDiver

Sorry to say this...but if you knew he didn´t want children and you do, why did you marry him? And if he didn´t want children now, why didn´t you use birth control and waited until both were ready?

Well, the OP makes this crystal clear in her post:

This is all I want from him to help me out with the school for about 4 years while my mom would be taking care of the baby

The answer to your question is because she just wants to exchange sex for money - and get a greencard to boot.

It appears that by having a baby she is ill-equipped to have and can't afford anyway, she can use this man for free tuition money while using her mother as a free babysitter.

Cheers!

AKDiver