ceriserose

I actually read all 44 pages before posting. I deserve a medal.

The original reason for this thread was discussing if anyone resented being forced to marry by the immigration laws. The last four words are the important ones. People marry or do not marry for many reasons and, as we have seen, are fiercely defensive of those reasons.

I would not have married my husband when I did, without the law forcing me to do so. Whether I would have married him at all is a moot point. It's a moot point because I had no choice. We love each other, we want to be together, therefore, by US law, we had to marry. In our world today, people need months to plan trips, due to work-vacation booking, children in school, etc etc. US immigration gave us three weeks' warning of our final K-1 visa step, then gave us 90 days to marry, while recommending we marry sooner to avoid paperwork backlogs. My grown children could not attend our wedding. My friends back in Canada could not attend our wedding. No one we knew could drop their daily lives and fly off to Texas with so little warning.

Yes, I resent being forced to marry at the government's dictates. It has nothing to do with committment or religion. It has to do with wanting to plan my life. Perhaps I wanted a winter wedding. Perhaps I wanted a summer wedding. Perhaps I wanted to settle into a strange country for a year before moving forward.

Isn't that what this thread was supposed to be about?

I'm giving you a gold star just for spelling "moot" correctly in an internet debate.

Come to think of it, that deserves two. :star: Hellz yeah !

Spelling "moot" correctly anywhere is worth stars! Make it three!

(P.S. WoM, wanna fight about how many stars? I have to go to work but I'll come back and fight if'n you want... )

No, you don't really know the "type of relationship" I was in, as you weren't in it, and all you know is that we were not married and it lasted 20 years until she died.

How arrogant. How do you know it's unusual? Your only experience is your own. If other people can't possibly understand your situation, then the same goes for you with others'.

You can choose what you would like to believe, but I know she would be laughing now (as I am) if she could read this.

Of course you're laughing. Just like I am. It's amazing how self-centered people are when it comes to their relationships. "No one had a love like ours." "No one has ever felt like I do." How many times do people hear that?

Oddly enough, I wasn't even meaning myself in my comments. I really meant family/friends etc. It's more the norm in my paradigm for commitment without marriage.

*shrug* It was a simple comment, not intended nor designed to be any sort of an attack. I found it interesting that one person's experience in commitment would be described as the exception where in my life it's more the rule. I should know better by now.

Oh, no - my comment was to Gary - I understood that you see more people with committment without marriage. Sorry for the misunderstanding!

Nono, I didn't think you were aiming that at me. I was springboarding off your comments that I wasn't meaning myself. I just kept talking after that. My bad to not be clearer.

No, you don't really know the "type of relationship" I was in, as you weren't in it, and all you know is that we were not married and it lasted 20 years until she died.

How arrogant. How do you know it's unusual? Your only experience is your own. If other people can't possibly understand your situation, then the same goes for you with others'.

You can choose what you would like to believe, but I know she would be laughing now (as I am) if she could read this.

Of course you're laughing. Just like I am. It's amazing how self-centered people are when it comes to their relationships. "No one had a love like ours." "No one has ever felt like I do." How many times do people hear that?

Oddly enough, I wasn't even meaning myself in my comments. I really meant family/friends etc. It's more the norm in my paradigm for commitment without marriage.

*shrug* It was a simple comment, not intended nor designed to be any sort of an attack. I found it interesting that one person's experience in commitment would be described as the exception where in my life it's more the rule. I should know better by now.

I understand that there are many who con't deal with my views, so they insist that I concede. Sorry, I'm not a moral relativist, nor politically correct. I don't always run with the crowd.

Apples and oranges about homosexuals. They normally can't get married, we can. And where they can, many do.

It's NOT A CONCESSION to say that you accept that people have differing views!! You see it as a sign of weakness for some reason.

Gary, what was so particular about your relationship that it was the exception rather than the rule?

It's kind of interesting to me...in my paradigm and life experience, the type of relationship Gary is describing as an exception has always been the rule. Perspective makes the difference sometimes.

You have no idea. Really, you don't.

I have no idea about my own paradigm and life experience? Riiiight.

No, you don't really know the "type of relationship" I was in, as you weren't in it, and all you know is that we were not married and it lasted 20 years until she died.

Right, I was basing my comments solely on yours. You gave several facts - that you were in the relationship, she didn't want to be married for reasons important to her, and that you had a 20 year commitment with her and she passed away. You described those as exceptions to the rule (marriage?) in your paradigm.

Taking your comments at face value, without whatever nuances you know about that the rest of us don't, what you've described is not an exception to me, it is more the norm. End of story.

So no, I don't really know the "type of relationship" you were in, beyond what you yourself described. I didn't comment on your relationship using any sort of value judgments, extrapolate the facts you provided, or indicate in any way I had information beyond what you shared. Based solely on what you said, I found my paradigm to be the opposite - that most familiar in my world have been commitments without the need for marriage.

I understand that there are many who con't deal with my views, so they insist that I concede. Sorry, I'm not a moral relativist, nor politically correct. I don't always run with the crowd.

Apples and oranges about homosexuals. They normally can't get married, we can. And where they can, many do.

It's NOT A CONCESSION to say that you accept that people have differing views!! You see it as a sign of weakness for some reason.

Gary, what was so particular about your relationship that it was the exception rather than the rule?

It's kind of interesting to me...in my paradigm and life experience, the type of relationship Gary is describing as an exception has always been the rule. Perspective makes the difference sometimes.

You have no idea. Really, you don't.

I have no idea about my own paradigm and life experience? Riiiight.

I understand that there are many who con't deal with my views, so they insist that I concede. Sorry, I'm not a moral relativist, nor politically correct. I don't always run with the crowd.

Apples and oranges about homosexuals. They normally can't get married, we can. And where they can, many do.

It's NOT A CONCESSION to say that you accept that people have differing views!! You see it as a sign of weakness for some reason.

Gary, what was so particular about your relationship that it was the exception rather than the rule?

It's kind of interesting to me...in my paradigm and life experience, the type of relationship Gary is describing as an exception has always been the rule. Perspective makes the difference sometimes.

yes, you have, this has clearly gone downhill, however, you started with the hedonism and the noncommittal thing.

Hedonism is a clinical term. Some take it negatively, some don't. As far as being committed or not, I stated my opinion. I am in no way responsible for how anyone reacts to them. I learned from the age difference fiasco that many who love to insult those who disagree with them will do so no matter how polite you are.

I'm off to the movies! Have fun, all!

Well now I have to take great exception to this. You can't just leave it like this!!! It's just mean to leave without telling us which movie...

Nearly 40 pages based mostly around szsz. Just because most of us completely disagree with her does not mean we should keep going with this thread. Stop trying to convince her. Let her believe she's better than everyone else and stop giving her so much attention.

Understanding what I was saying in the first place would have been a good start. You never did get it, so you don't even know what you're arguing about. Those who couldn't figure out what this thread is about were right. Much ado about nothing.

Yes, you are. However, I'm not sure why you can't concede that there are different opinions on this, and not one of them is right, and not one of them is wrong. You will respond saying something along the lines of, "I'm not the one arguing about this, I'm just stating my opinion." Your opinion is that everyone else's opinions are wrong.

I just don't get that. The reason I asked in the first place was because I was curious if people felt like they were getting married before the natural course of the relationship took them to marriage, even though they knew that they either would eventually get married, or would be fully committed, if immigration were not an issue.

So why do homosexuals have a "committment" ceremony because they are not allowed to have a legally binding marriage? Because they're committed!! Wheeeeeeeee!!

I'm telling TracyTN that you're trying to take her title of "Instigator of the Post"...

It's as if you're wearing red socks and someone is insisting that it's because you are rebelling against all the white-socked conformists. And no matter how many times you say that you're not rebelling against anything, you just happen to like red socks, they just keep on insisting that you are rebelling as if somehow they know you better than you know you.

But what if I like, um, wear one red sock and one white? Or if I do the wash (and not hubby) and end up with all pink?

Can I still be a rebel with pink socks???

This thread is so confusing!!!!!!

No way, pink is way too girlie. Rebels aren't girlie.

Did you just call me girlie? Oh now I've got to put the smackdown on ya. I'm SOOOO not girlie.

Just utterly inept at sorting colors from whites in the wash.

It's as if you're wearing red socks and someone is insisting that it's because you are rebelling against all the white-socked conformists. And no matter how many times you say that you're not rebelling against anything, you just happen to like red socks, they just keep on insisting that you are rebelling as if somehow they know you better than you know you.

But what if I like, um, wear one red sock and one white? Or if I do the wash (and not hubby) and end up with all pink?

Can I still be a rebel with pink socks???

This thread is so confusing!!!!!!

Looks like Matako is at it again only this time with another different screen name lol.

Who the 'f' is Matako? Please explain or post a link or whatever you have related to Matako.

Use the search feature above. If you click 'advanced' you can search by user name.

Looks like Matako is at it again only this time with another different screen name lol.

Who the 'f' is Matako? Please explain or post a link or whatever you have related to Matako.

Are you kidding? You dont know Matako?

Im gonna jack this thread..... cuz well, who cares if i do, really? Post your favorite Matako moments here....

heres mine....

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...c=30150&hl=

no, let's not and say we did'

this is not a 'matako's best moments' hijack....sorry

I have to agree...giving attention to those blatantly seeking it through negative social behavior is just silly.

Except when it's me of course.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that Sarah's siggy is a dancing banana with the words <-----me pointing to it.

It was tbh, a desperate attempt by a strange and unhinged woman....but veiled smacktalk nonetheless. And so snively veiled so she can come back with some tripe like 'what? i just thought it was cute!' which is bs.

Bottom line, see it however you want...but considering your outrage at the 'bug spray' bit...it's quite ironic that you're the one mocking the situation.

note: i have siggy's turned off

and i find it ironic that you are carrying on about veiled smacktalk

then lemme ask you: WHY did you initially post that smiley in the MENA forum?

Come on...be HONEST.

And why do you find it ironic that I'm talking about veiled smacktalk? I think everyone here knows me enough to know I'm about as subtle as a mack truck.

I'd have to say a big 'amen' to that.

careful, some lunatic will interpret that smiley as a threat against sarah

Only if they truly believe that Sarah is a banana. And a dancing one at that.

Oh, I forgot to tell you all.

I WAS forced to marry.

I was pregnant. It was the immaculate conception. We couldn't decide whether to raise the child Christian, Muslim or Hindi. So we gave him up for adoption. I heard that somebody found him out on the highway the other day playing in the median. He really only got away because the gay sheep that were supposed to be watching him slipped up. Oh, and they also found a bootleg copy of Saddam's hanging in a bag around the sheep's neck. The corkscrew, however, remains lost.

Well, way to exclude the pagans, taoists and shinto. Now I'm miffed at you, missy.

And the respective Amen corners have showed up, right on schedule. Not bad for a Tuesday night pissing contest.

Can we hear a Hallelujah?

Aah, the pissing match is on.

Nah, it's really just a trickle. Might be time for an exam.

Happy New Year, Shona! Thanks for stopping by.

can someone help me with my freakin ticker? its been MIA for months now. is tickertag defunct????

No ticker for you. Come back one year.

Here's a couple of threads on it.

Police Check - Vancouver

Police Check - Canada

did u guys realize the one that started the original subject decided to leave a couple of days ago? so..... why continue agree to disagree.

No one every really leaves VJ. They take breaks. When the next milestone occurs, or information is needed, most tend to drop back.

The stresses of this process get to everyone and tensions frequently run high around here.

Well that, and the average mentality is around age 9.

Thank you, I just wanted the form to be able to fill it out on the computer(my handwriting is HORRIBLE), so I decide hey just load it up into my Microsoft picture it and the add text so I could type my name etc... It worked for me.

There's really nothing to 'fill out' on the form. There's a space for a signature, printed name and notarization/witness. Possibly the date if memory serves.

I prefer the plush "Elder Gods"

Plush Cthulhu

Oh.My.God

That is fantastic!!!

There are quite of few of you folks with no funny bones and no ability to percieve or process humor, irony or sarcasm. Perhaps it is a result of dealing for extended periods of time with government agencies. In any case I wish you the best and hope that Homeland Security does not percieve you hostility as a threat to national security.

You know, I'm not one of the ones who took offense at your so-called racist remarks, nor did I get upset at your misinformation about Canada's non-involvement regarding the terrorists and 9/11.

However, I do sit here and read your absolutely insistent attitude that it's everyone else who has the problem. Most people here have a sense of humor and there's quite a few who employ irony and sarcasm in very artistic ways in their posts. You say you meant to be sarcastic, but as has been pointed out several times now, that's not clear in a text-based medium unless YOU make it VERY clear. That's up to you, and apparently you haven't mastered the art. Until you do, you should either be willing to acknowledge that others may get upset at your inability to communicate clearly or don't employ the technique until you've mastered it.

So it's everyone's fault here that we don't "understand" what you mean, and it's everyone else's (well-meaning friends, DHS, etc.) fault that you didn't get your husband's immigration stuff squared away. I'm seeing a trend of unwillingness to take responsibility for your own actions and be accountable for the choices you made, from something as minor as words on a message board to culpability in making a choice to not comply with a voluntary departure order.

If I were you, I'd spend less time worrying about how DHS perceives the rest of us and more on your own mess.

This article was kind of creepy actually. Reading about bacterial diseases or the fact that they think they're floating around in the air gives me the willies!!

The plushies are cute though. Plus, how much fun is it to say "My hubby gave me chicken pox for Christmas."

Microbe Plushies

Mine was one of the spiffier ones 4 years ago when I bought it. I'm afraid I haven't paid much attention to newer stuff.

Now if I could only figure out what 'safe' place I put it when I moved here...