yellow_flower

when a person, whether a man or a woman asks for a pre-nup - it means that person was hurt very bad in the past and is having difficulty trusting a new partner as far as finances is concerned. try and talk to your fiance about this. what exactly is bugging him before you throw yourself into the fire. I can see from your details that you are more or less established in Singapore. sayang kung iiwan mo ang naumpisahan mo, tapos mag uumpisa ka sa wala pagdating mo dito.
alam mo, hindi naiiba ang condition ko sa'yo. that's why even if I haven't slept yet, I logged in here to send you this reply. I used to work in an embassy in the Phils. my daughter studies in a private school and I have a small but beautiful and well equipped apartment in Makati. in other words, love na lang talaga ang kulang. when my friend (now my husband) proposed marriage, we had lots of arrangement. kse nga we both had bad relationship in the past. hindi man in writing, we held strong to these arrangements. on my part ayaw ko ng sinungaling, baon sa utang at maraming issues sa buhay. on his part, he asked that I don't take his house (in case the relationship doesn't work out) and I help out sa bayaran sa bahay.
fast forward. 1-hr before I met my in-laws, my fiance told me about a pre-nup I need to sign. I wasn't shocked but I was wondering why. gosh, kung kelan I am already in the US why bring that up? fine, we met my in-laws. they started talking about my fiance's ex etc etc. I was very straight forward with them. they can put whatever conditions in the pre-nup provided I get to put 3 conditions for myself: 1) let me and help me find work. the soonest I find work, I will find my own house so he could keep his house if that means so much to him 2) though shall not get jealous of my job and make an issue out of it. I have a record of being dedicated and passionate at work, palagi ako na po-promote na nagiging cause ng insecurity ng lalake. and 3) in case the relationship turns bad, give me at least 30days notice to pack my stuff and leave. no questions asked.
believe it or not, I didn't even see the paper they were talking about!!! that was in Sep2010.
I will confess that of my 7mos marriage, about 80% is hell - thanks to my stepchildren. now na nakuha ko na EAD ko at SSN, I am able to look for a job. my aim is to find my own place to stay and be independent. I told my husband na since hindi tao ang trato sa akin ng mga anak nya, hindi ako magbabayad ng share ko sa utilities. nek nek nya! anyway, grabe and competition dito with regards to work. even if you are educated, the opportunity is limited - depends on which state you reside.
so if I were you, pag-isipan mong mabuti. aanhin mo ang pag-ibig kung araw-araw umiiyak ka... hindi pa kayo kasal ganyan na ang conditions nyo. what more kung kasal na kayo at magbago na naman ang isip nya?

hi there, having read ur storyline and the subsequent replies of the members here - I do agree that you shouldnt be spending more than US$ 1,000.00 (prevailing exchange rate in Makati banks = US$ 1.00:PhP 44+). your destination is in Butuan City in Mindanao. thats province area. mostly nature, not too much malls.
if you are going to stay with your gf and settle for home cooked meals 75-85% of the time, you should do well. I am from Makati by the way (Brgy Poblacion, just at the back of Rockwell Power Plant Mall). whenever my fiance is here, he settles for home cooked meals. we take turns cooking. I get to show him what Filipinos cook and eat, and he'd show me what he knows to cook and like to eat. apart from the bonding time, twas a way for us to get to know each other very well. I dont bring him though when I go to the marketplace coz I wont be able to bargain for a lower price (people here have this mentality that if your bf is a foreigner it means big bucks). we'd have dinner outside every now and then. he does that to give me a break from cooking, also bcoz he loves to eat at this korean resto. our average expenditure at kaya korean resto in jupiter street, makati city is PhP 1200-1500. but thats fine dining and 2 servings of spicy squid for him haha! my sis who is a programmer and travels a lot says, dinner in a nice resto in Mindanao area shouldnt be more than PhP 700.
the better person to orient you of these things would be your gf coz she is from there.
when my fiance and I were in the get-to-know each other stage, he asked me a lot of questions like: how many are you in the house, how big is your place, how many and what type of elect appliances you have, how much is your elect bill, how much do you spend monthly on food, clothing, leisure etc. he also asked about means of transport (jeep, taxi, bus, LRT, horse drive carriage). he also asked about basic commodities like how much is a kilo of rice, fish (depends on the kind of fish), pork, beef, chicken, veggies. we talked about what we like and dont like to eat. he asked how often I watch a movie in the nearby cinema, what do I do for fun etc. whats the average meal in a fine dining resto, at a corner etc.
while some people claim such questions bother them, it reality these are the typical questions I get at work from expats wanting to set-up their business in the Phils. when I finally realised the questions were aimed at me and not just an economy assessment of the Phils, I emailed him an excel file with a breakdown of my monthly salary with a planning budget from Jan-Dec. thats it, I passed my exam. Hahaha! am not joking, I do plan my life like so. and I carry a print-out of that excel file in my wallet to remind me not to go overboard when I spend.
the bottom line is, if your gf really really loves you, she will do everything and anything to protect you. she'd even tell u hey, dont spend so much. the important thing is we're together.
I do agree that in chatting, you get to know a person. but I do recommend that you meet each first and get to know each other very very well before thinking of getting married. marriage is a life long commitment, it isnt just a piece of paper. if you want to offer marriage because you want to prove to her (and her family) that your intentions are true, then you are not being fair - to yourself and to the girl. get married because it is something that BOTH of you want and because BOTH of you are ready for whatever will come your way.
when I first met D2B in 2006, my family was against the idea (we're not even bf-gf). but I insisted that my parents (especially my mother) meet him, at least to show Filipino hospitality. I gave him a despedida party (seafood buffet) not knowing twas his birthday. overtime, he got closer to my family and believe it or not, he and my mum get along very well. I for one, do not agree in lavish wedding. you are getting married because you want to spend your life with that person. when the two of u fight, are u going to call those 100 guests who attended your wedding to patch you up? NAH!
I am not sure how much the church fee costs but it shouldnt be more than 3,500 pesos. I read here someone suggested, you go get a fixer. dont u dare if you dun want to get "fixed." google up for Butuan City Hall. if they have an email, you can ask for procedure/guidelines. ah just to let you know, I organized my cousins wedding last Dec 2009. we spent approx 50,000 pesos for 100 guests. can show u her site in Facebook. I still have the budget file with me. if you need, just email me so I could pass to you and give you more tips on how to cut cost. you can give a dream wedding for your girl, just dont invite her entire clan and community! I'll get back to you about marriageable age. I know they raised it. you see, I couldnt marry my ex back then coz of that. he had to get parental consent (thank goodness I didnt get married! LoL)