y2catalyst

The following from my profile on Candle for Love site. "Hi, my name is Rob and I have been communicating with my Fiancée Zhou since April 2009. I went to visit her in Chongqing for 2 week in October 2009 and soon after filed for our K1 Visa. The time has finally come and her interview is scheduled for July 30th 2010".
Now it is April 2013 and I thought I would look back at may Candle for Love site and it seems so long ago when I wrote the comments in my profile above. A lot has changed, I could never bring myself to visit this site or Candle for Love site after my negative post about the denied visa and the blow I felt to my guts after what I took seriously my relationship with my Fiancée Zhou and the K1 Visa being denied (white paper) July 30, 2010. With my investment of time and emotions exhausted, my next step was to go back to Chongqing to get married and try a marriage visa, by then my Fiancée Zhou's emotions were also exhausted the and pressure from the family not wanting her to leave ended the relationship. There are times I feel regret or feel sad about the bad experience with the K1 visa and Zhou, who I was so invested in emotionally and feel remorse for her feelings, I hope maybe she will be rewarded with the love she is hoping to find.
Time passed after the denied visa and I managed moved on, still burned emotionally and frustrated by the whole visa experience I remembered my favorite treat when I visited Chongqing called Hot Pot which is very famous in that Providence. I asked a Cheese Colleague of mine if there was a place that served Hot Pot and he mentioned a restaurant in China Town. After a few months passed I was in the area of China Town so I paid the restaurant a visit and ordered my Hot Pot. While I was enjoying my lunch I noticed a very stunning lady across the walkway dividing a hair salon from the restaurant where I noticed her working. Well, I surely had some time for a haircut, after lunch I walked in the salon and I was lucky enough to get this attractive lady named Lan to cut my hair. All the hair dressers in the shop were very friendly and the owner very engaged in conversation with me when I mentioned I had been to China before. Lan was very quiet, I tried to have conversation with her but was difficult, she was polite but she didn't say much the 1st time I saw her but I did learn she had been in USA for 2 years and I was welcome to come back for a haircut anytime. "Long story short", even though China Town was 45 minutes from my house I made it a point to visit Lan almost every other week for a haircut and our conversation became longer but never really engaged to the point she would consider anything of me other than a customer. After 3 months of visiting the shop, on my next haircut appointment I learned Lan went back to China for two months. After 2 1/2 months I received a call from the shop owner telling me Lan had returned and to come back to visit her. 3 weeks passed and I decided to go and visit Lan at the shop, as Lan prepared to cut my hair I asked if I could take her to lunch or dinner sometime as I did before on a few previous occasions but she responded as she did before "no thank you but you are welcome to come for hair cut". (I was starting to think the Visa process was a far better approach, just kidding). After a short pause Lan said, "you come back the next Saturday for dinner, can you take 2 friends that work in the shop for dinner too"? IT WAS ON! I came back the following week, my hair kept getting shorter and shorter but worth it, I took her and 2 friends for dinner the following Saturday. The following week we had arranged another dinner with a different friend, after a haircut of course. In the following weeks Lan introduced me to her friend of many years who had come from China long before her. I had dinner at her friend's house on many occasions meeting her friend's husband and children. After the many dinners and haircuts I learned Lan came over to USA on a Marriage Visa but was divorced after 1 year which was all together a very different story from mine but Lan also had a difficult experience.
After a month Lan and I dated normally, introducing her to my family, close friends and as time passed we naturally became a natural couple. I took Lan back to China so I could meet her family 2011 when I proposed to her there. When we returned back to USA Lan moved to my home and we got married a year later, May 2012 and now heading back to China later in 2013 to celebrate with her family. Everything came full circle, Lan is very traditional, she is very funny, loves my grandkids and my kids and likewise they all lover her, and my mom adores Lan. Lan is still quite by nature but she is still a wife that has normal expectations which I respect, she keeps me straight and I am glad she can hold her own. Did I mention, I am saving a lot on my haircuts now and I don't have to drive at all .
What an experience, As time goes by I learn more about Lan and I love her more from the 1st time I proposed. I found what I was looking for in a relationship, we continue to grow together not apart. Even though my previous experience took me to China and hers to the USA through different Journeys to find us together over HOT POT, wow, I never expected this or to have someone to love me as much as she does, Lan calls this "yuanfen".
I know there are many disappointments like mine with the visa struggle and all, but Thank you to those that know my story and hoped me the best because I found the best and in my own back yard

The following from my profile on Candle for Love site. "Hi, my name is Rob and I have been communicating with my Fiancée Zhou since April 2009. I went to visit her in Chongqing for 2 week in October 2009 and soon after filed for our K1 Visa. The time has finally come and her interview is scheduled for July 30th 2010".
Now it is April 2013 and I thought I would look back at may Candle for Love site and it seems so long ago when I wrote the comments in my profile above. A lot has changed, I could never bring myself to visit this site or Candle for Love site after my negative post about the denied visa and the blow I felt to my guts after what I took seriously my relationship with my Fiancée Zhou and the K1 Visa being denied (white paper) July 30, 2010. With my investment of time and emotions exhausted, my next step was to go back to Chongqing to get married and try a marriage visa, by then my Fiancée Zhou's emotions were also exhausted the and pressure from the family not wanting her to leave ended the relationship. There are times I feel regret or feel sad about the bad experience with the K1 visa and Zhou, who I was so invested in emotionally and feel remorse for her feelings, I hope maybe she will be rewarded with the love she is hoping to find.
Time passed after the denied visa and I managed moved on, still burned emotionally and frustrated by the whole visa experience I remembered my favorite treat when I visited Chongqing called Hot Pot which is very famous in that Providence. I asked a Cheese Colleague of mine if there was a place that served Hot Pot and he mentioned a restaurant in China Town. After a few months passed I was in the area of China Town so I paid the restaurant a visit and ordered my Hot Pot. While I was enjoying my lunch I noticed a very stunning lady across the walkway dividing a hair salon from the restaurant where I noticed her working. Well, I surely had some time for a haircut, after lunch I walked in the salon and I was lucky enough to get this attractive lady named Lan to cut my hair. All the hair dressers in the shop were very friendly and the owner very engaged in conversation with me when I mentioned I had been to China before. Lan was very quiet, I tried to have conversation with her but was difficult, she was polite but she didn't say much the 1st time I saw her but I did learn she had been in USA for 2 years and I was welcome to come back for a haircut anytime. "Long story short", even though China Town was 45 minutes from my house I made it a point to visit Lan almost every other week for a haircut and our conversation became longer but never really engaged to the point she would consider anything of me other than a customer. After 3 months of visiting the shop, on my next haircut appointment I learned Lan went back to China for two months. After 2 1/2 months I received a call from the shop owner telling me Lan had returned and to come back to visit her. 3 weeks passed and I decided to go and visit Lan at the shop, as Lan prepared to cut my hair I asked if I could take her to lunch or dinner sometime as I did before on a few previous occasions but she responded as she did before "no thank you but you are welcome to come for hair cut". (I was starting to think the Visa process was a far better approach, just kidding). After a short pause Lan said, "you come back the next Saturday for dinner, can you take 2 friends that work in the shop for dinner too"? IT WAS ON! I came back the following week, my hair kept getting shorter and shorter but worth it, I took her and 2 friends for dinner the following Saturday. The following week we had arranged another dinner with a different friend, after a haircut of course. In the following weeks Lan introduced me to her friend of many years who had come from China long before her. I had dinner at her friend's house on many occasions meeting her friend's husband and children. After the many dinners and haircuts I learned Lan came over to USA on a Marriage Visa but was divorced after 1 year which was all together a very different story from mine but Lan also had a difficult experience.
After a month Lan and I dated normally, introducing her to my family, close friends and as time passed we naturally became a natural couple. I took Lan back to China so I could meet her family 2011 when I proposed to her there. When we returned back to USA Lan moved to my home and we got married a year later, May 2012 and now heading back to China later in 2013 to celebrate with her family. Everything came full circle, Lan is very traditional, she is very funny, loves my grandkids and my kids and likewise they all lover her, and my mom adores Lan. Lan is still quite by nature but she is still a wife that has normal expectations which I respect, she keeps me straight and I am glad she can hold her own. Did I mention, I am saving a lot on my haircuts now and I don't have to drive at all .
What an experience, As time goes by I learn more about Lan and I love her more from the 1st time I proposed. I found what I was looking for in a relationship, we continue to grow together not apart. Even though my previous experience took me to China and hers to the USA through different Journeys to find us together over HOT POT, wow, I never expected this or to have someone to love me as much as she does, Lan calls this "yuanfen".
I know there are many disappointments like mine with the visa struggle and all, but Thank you to those that know my story and hoped me the best because I found the best and in my own back yard

Thank you all for both your negative and positive comments. Either way some good will come of this thread and yes calmer minds prevail. Yes, I am calmer, I started this thread in the heat of the moment when I listen to the anguish of my Fiancée which I was never prepared to hear and thus my anguish.
Ok, thanks, I have read every comment and advice. Maybe this thread will help other’s in the future. I think I maybe I know where the issue is, she was refused a visitor visa in the past. I have already wrote my Congressman with a copy to Guangzhou Embassy and I am prepared do go the distance.
Who can I blame, no I cannot blame anyone and especially my race. Purely being emotional. I have struggled like many on this visa journey. I am sure many here started from little to getting where you are and what you have because you are a warrior. Yes, by nature I am a warrior and will I go for it, thank you.
After this post I think I know the specific issue which was likely her past visitor visa refusal in 2007 which I did not think would be an issue. I would be happy to share the detail of her circumstance for others to learn but I have already put myself out there so I want to go back in my personal shell (Teepee) and just fight for her like a warrior and I am sure we will be ok, just a little more time.
Sorry again to everyone here