Kukolka

@lilac, I ordered my tiara from http://www.camiasdesigns.com/ and decided to wait until getting it to see whether I want a veil. I'm thinking probably not. :} Thanks for the projectwedding.com link! I hope all goes smoothly for you.

@Huggle, thank you for your words of encouragement! We're aiming for September-November, since we're not going to start booking anything until he has the visa, and Montreal was backed up until recently, and we want enough time for our guests to make travel plans.

My gown is hanging on the closet door next to me! The cashier said they didn't have any left in the warehouse, so I got the "floor model".

@CDAgirlMI Congratulations!! =)

Hi! I'm the USC bride in a K-1 couple, and my fiance is in Ontario. We met on Rappelz, a fantasy-style Korean MMORPG.

We're planning to have a wedding reception on the same day as we get married. Some things that should help a little are that we're planning to marry on a Sunday (less popular than Saturday for weddings), and to have the civil ceremony and reception in the same location. We're having only one attendant each, so we don't need to worry about getting a bunch of people who live far away to match each other.

Since we don't know until he has his visa in hand, when the wedding can possibly be, we can't book anything yet... but my parents are a great help in planning, and we've started picking some things ahead of time. I've seen a few venues and picked my first and second choices. I'm optimistic that we -will- be able to get the first choice though, because once Dave has his visa, we can talk to the venue person and determine a date that would work.

I knew before entering the bridal shop what style gown I wanted. (Mind you, I'd never *thought* much about wedding stuff at all before, ever; I just happen to know what kind of clothes look good on me.) The first gown I tried on was the one. I tried on 3 or 4 others to be sure. Easy! Well, my mom noticed it was on sale this week, so I'm buying it later today. *squee!* I also chose a tiara and boots from online which I'm ordering soon. Possibly already chose a veil... I'll see today at the bridal shop. I'll be doing my own nails, makeup, and hair.

The "theme" of the wedding attire/decor is the game where we met. Not to look like we're costumed characters; just a hint, a flavour, of what the characters in the game *would* wear if they were translated into the real world. My MoH and the guys know what kind of clothes they're looking for. My char, a Priestess, is Light and Water based, and Dave's char, a Warlock, is Darkness and Fire based. Works out perfectly with traditional wedding colours, so we're going with it! xD

The 1st and 2nd choice venues both have their own menus, so no need to choose a caterer. Both venues have a florist and a cake artist they work with, so that eliminates the need to choose those. That leaves invitations, an officiant, DJ, and photographer. Menu, linens, and cake style can be decided per venue beforehand. Flowers have to wait because we won't know what will be in season, though I do have very specific ideas of what looks right.

Other things that can be done or at least decided ahead of time:

• get all contact info for guest list
  
• pick invitations
  
• guest favours
  
• music / gather MP3s of important songs for the DJ
  
• write posed photo groupings on index cards for photographer
  
• salon appointment to get ideas of how to arrange my hair with tiara and veil
  
• write vows
  
• wedding rings
  

Now to finish reading through the rest of this thread!

Thanks for sharing your experience! Best wishes to you and your family!

Hotel reservations, of course, thank you Wyatt's! HeatDeath, good point about them bringing my fiance's personal belongings. I don't think they will be since he'll already be here, but good to keep in mind. Thank you all for the reassurance!

Received NOA1 in mail today! Signed up for e-mail updates too. =)

My fiance's family (immediate family + grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) is planning to drive down to CT for the wedding. He's telling them well in advance to make sure they have valid passports. If they bring the wedding invitations, and working adults bring letters from their employers, and retired adults bring evidence of a pension, they should most likely be good to cross to attend the wedding? Is there anything else they should bring? Some kind of evidence that children are enrolled in school, if this is during a school year, would a letter from the school office suffice? What if it's during summer break? Anything else they should bring that I'm not aware of? (This is all assuming no criminal records). Should they apply for visitor visas ahead of time? Should we provide them photocopies of any of our stuff from the K-1 visa process, and if so, what?

I'd like to hear from others who've had relatives cross the border in automobiles to attend a wedding. Was anyone denied, and if so, why? :s Or was it fairly straightforward, with wedding invitations and proof of strong ties to Canada?

I don't own a house. I recently moved back to my parents' house. My fiance and I plan to rent an apartment.

Maybe she has a phone plan when she can talk long distance for free or cheap on weekends, and that's why she calls so much on weekends instead of other days of the week? Or because of time difference, and your husband working, would make it hard to find a good time? Perhaps she gets anxious on Sunday, feeling time is running out and if she doesn't get to speak to him, the highlight of her week has to wait until next weekend?

If her calls are interfering with your time together, yes as others have suggested, setting up a time for her to call sounds like a good solution. Or maybe your husband could call her instead. Or could tell her, if you have plans together for the day, so she won't worry so much if you're out. If the problem is that she calls and talks to you and then calls back 5 minutes later to talk to her son, is it because when you give him a message he hasn't called her back? Or she just thinks he won't call her back or that you won't give him the message? In that case maybe her son can reassure her that you -will- give him the message and he -will- call back?

I think it is normal to go in a closed room to have a phone conversation. I did this to talk to my parents when I lived with roommates, whether or not I was in a relationship with the roommate. My mother goes in a closed room to talk on the phone with her mother or sisters, and my dad isn't bothered by it, he just does something else at the time. Is it possible the issue is a cultural difference? When you were growing up, did people talk on the phone while in the same room as other people, so now when your husband goes to a closed room it seems like a secret? In my own family, when someone makes or takes a call, the person on the phone goes to another room. That's normal for my family; for another family it may be normal to stay in the room with the phone hooked up to the wall and other people stay in the room too. It could be a misunderstanding of differences in boundaries.

In my experience, whatever the root of the problem is, the best course to solving it is communicating with my partner about it. It sounds like you're on the right track, acknowledging a part of it may be your responsibility, and searching for a resolution. Good luck!

Gratz! Best of luck to you!

Thanks much for the reassurance!

This is just a personal whine post, feel free to ignore.

I know, frontloading isn't absolutely necessary, probably doesn't matter as much for Canada as for some countries, they don't ask for proof of ongoing relationship at all in the initial filing of the I-129F, but I did it, and I forgot to include two items that would probably be considered more relevant proof than some I did include, so I'm feeling momentarily very stupid for that!

I forgot to photocopy and include a birthday card and a handwritten letter (both handed in person, not mailed), both from him (alien fiance) to me (USC). D'oh!!! They were further down in the drawer below the pile I'd decided not to include in the initial packet. But I *did* intend to include them, and between the e-mails and screenshots and copies of written stuff from me to him, I just forgot. No, I'm not going to mail them now because they wouldn't likely get put with our case anyway. But gleh, am I feeling dumb!

I pretty much just want reassurance that it won't hurt our case if I photocopy more earlier stuff than I've already sent in, and include it with the packet I'm mailing my fiance after I get the NOA2. I'm afraid they'll be like, "why didn't she send these in the original packet?" and think something was amiss? But it was an honest mistake, in my eagerness to get this process started so we can be together again (he left on the 6th... I wanted to mail it on the 7th but ended up mailing it on the 9th after receiving a digital photo of his return boarding pass) I didn't remember to look for and photocopy those.

I did include some e-mails from him to me that show he loves me too... I hope that will be taken as enough proof... we rarely hand-write anything to each other anyway, since e-mail and MSN are faster, and it's been over a year and 3 months since we've gone a day without speaking on Ventrilo, not counting the time his cable and internet were out. X)

Mailed my packet today!

..and just realised looking at the dates in my sig, I filed exactly 7 months after we started dating. :}

Please disregard question 1; he's decided to not bother changing his name until after we're married. From what I can find, Connecticut does not have the space on the marriage form for a man to change his surname with the marriage, so the man must Petition if he wants to change his surname no matter what. And it looks like the space on the marriage certificate, if the state has it, would -only- be to change to the -spouse's- surname or a few other choices that do not apply to us. So we will both need to file petitions with probate court anyway. I'll need to see how much time that takes and see if we can do that between wedding and filing AOS... :s

I'd do a combination of what you suggest and Pushbrk's suggestion - put whatever is on his long form birth cert on the form, but also put "see attachment" which includes an explanation & other man's name. I don't see how adding more information could hurt if it can prevent confusion/RFE from the adjudicator. Include supporting evidence like adoption cert. and such.

Thank you, I will go this route.

When my fiance was a child, his stepfather adopted him. His biological father gave up his rights to his children.

My fiance and his mother believe his birth certificate has his stepdad's name listed as his father. The only copy of his birth certificate that he has in his possession is a wallet card that does not have fields listing parents.

When the G-325A asks for the name of his father, do they want the name of his legal adoptive father (his stepdad) or his biological father?

My thought was to list his adoptive (step) father in the fields asking for father's information, and include a supplement like we do for other fields that are too long to fit, explaining the situation and listing the same asked-for information about his biological father. Would this be acceptable?

My fiance's legal surname is hyphenated, but other than on legal documents he goes by only one of those names. Let's say for this site that his legal last name is Smith-Jones, but he normally goes by Jones. He would like to legally change his surname to Jones. Then the plan is when we get married I change my surname to Jones.

My questions:

1. Is it ok for me to file the I-129F now, with his surname Smith-Jones; then he does a legal name change in Canada and we can send in to the USCIS some kind of form once it's changed, noting that, just like the Change of Address form? Or would him changing his name in Canada while the K-1 paperwork is going through present a problem?

2. If he keeps his name Smith-Jones for now, would we both be able to change our surnames to Jones in the States when we get married? Would that be the easier route?

I really do not want to wait to send in the forms, as we're aware of the processing time, and don't want to have to spend any more time apart than we have to. :/

Thank you, your answers are reassuring. The part about it not being a trial makes sense. I just overthink things and this is no exception. X) If they'll accept the evidence he was here + the pictures of us together + e-mails and MSN logs about the visit as proof he was here when he was, that makes our part much easier.

Hello! This is my first post, but I've been reading this site for a few months, since shortly after my fiance asked me online to marry him, a few months before the "official" "in-real-life" engagement. It's been very informative and a huge help, so much so that any questions I've had until now, I've always been able to find the answers in the Guides, Example Forms, or by searching the forums, and I'm confident we can get through this process without a lawyer. So I'd first like to say, great job and thank you for all your help!

Now I do have some questions of my own.

My fiance and I met in person for the first time two weeks ago when he came to visit me in California. He flew into SFO and we do have photocopies of his boarding passes and visitor visa stamp, but he stayed with me and we used no public transportation. He used his debit card in a few local ATMs/businesses, but to my analytical mind that proves nothing more than that he was *here* during that time, not that he was here *with me*.

I have two or three photos with proof we've met in person in the past two years, but that evidence requires some verification of facts. One shows us in front of a business that opened earlier this year. The second shows media content decorating the suite door of a business; content that they acquired in the past year and a half. The maybe one shows the sign outside a business that moved location in the past year, at their new location. For the first two, I have printouts from online news articles regarding when the businesses opened/announced the visible content, and for the third, we're hoping to receive e-mail reply from business stating what date they moved. On each such photo, I wrote on the back how it establishes time frame. Will this likely be acceptable proof that we've met within the past two years?

I'm also a bit worried they'll question the photos are from the past two years because I'm often mistaken for younger than I am. I'm afraid the USCIS will look at the photos, look at my DOB, and deny the petition because they believe the photos must be from longer than two years ago! >_< However, my fiance doesn't look like he could be much younger than he is, so maybe that will help...