Bajih

Thanks for the replies. I just wish there was some sort of support system to help new immigrants with things like this. (Or is there?) I have encouraged him to talk to someone to see if he is suffering from PTSD and/or depression, but he refuses to go. Agh!

. My husband was an Iraqi immigrant who was a refuge in Syria for a number of years. He came here 4 years ago. Since then, he has not obtained employment. I believe some of it has to deal with emotional/psychological issues that he is dealing with since living in Baghdad during the war in and then trauma in Syria. He hides himself away in the office each and every day non-stop. (This is what he did to survive in Syria) I also know that he is nervous about talking with people. While his English is good, I know that he is self conscious about it.

I don't know how to encourage him in getting a job. He is a musician and thinks that he can only do this. I can't get him to see that he needs a job to help pay for our bills. The music thing brings in some money now and then, but isn't what he could be earning.

I am tired of being the one who goes to work and support us on everything we do. I have talked to him about it repeatedly but nothing changes.

Has anyone else dealt with a new immigrant and the hesitancy to go out there and get a job? I think part of it as well is the process... Is there help out there to guide newbies?

Thank you for your support.

I would say meeting someone online is pretty common these days... I met my DH online. Of course, I knew of the dangers that lurked behind meeting someone online and in another country. In the beginning, I did a lot of "research" on him. He was an active commentator on a variety of sites, and so I went to those to see how he wrote to other people; and how they responded to him. Through these online chat boards, I was able to view messages from years ago and could determine that my DH was a decent and caring man. I also talked to him for hours each night via video chat. I got to know a few of the people here in the states that were with him for a few years- All of these things helped me confirm for myself that he was on the up and up- and then it became important for when we needed to file for his visa to the states. I agree with Wife of Mahmoud- start keeping copies of things to prove you are in a legitimate relationship. It sounds very unromantic, but it is a reality when you apply for a visa. I even kept copies of emails in which my parents wrote and asked about him and all- to show that other people in my life were aware of him and our relationship...

If you are able to write to him (and vise versa) via snail mail, do this as well and keep the stamped envelope and letter. Do everything you can think of to establish a long-distance relationship that the consulate will look upon favorably.

Best Wishes.

Bajih

hi-

It is my understanding from my lawyer that you have to file within the 90 day expiration period. We saw her back in February of this year, but she told us to come back at the end of April. (GC expires end of July, 2012)

We submitted the forms about 2 weeks ago.

Hope this helps.

Hello again VJ! It has been a while since I have been on... Two years I believe. Wow. Hubster came to USA about that time...What a coincidence, huh? Glad to see the MENA site still up and running!

Enjoy you evening! It's Friday, Friday, Friday...yeah!

bajih

It has been a while since I have been on Visa Journey, and I have to say that my kids had (and are having) a hard time adjusting. I am surprised that more people haven't had similar experiences, but maybe it is a taboo topic to admit things are not always peachy.My kids were 11 and 17 when my husband came to the US. They both knew of him for two years prior to that and have talked via Skype. (more my daughter than son). Things seemed like they would be okay....but i wasn't ready for the cultural shock and adjustment period we would all need. I kept that in mind that first year.. There were just so many things we had to learn from each other, being online is not living with someone day in and day out..no matter how well you know them. We are still learning and I think this is healthy for us. My daughter is in counseling and I hope she can work out her feelings there.. My husband and I are doing great...and I constantly keep the lines of communication open for my daughter and son to talk to me about anything. I think you have to keep it real.. There will be an adjustment period and this is not only okay, it is normal. It is okay if not everyone in the family is singing odes of joy to each other all of the time. Relationships take hard work. My kids know they are unconditionally loved . That, in itself, is the greatest gift I can give them. Freedom to be who they are and to feel what they do. Would I like them to eventually have a close relationship with my husband? Sure. But in their own time....and we have plenty of time....

Feels food to be back on Visa Journey and to hear all of your stories. It reminds me that I am not alone...

bajih

Salaam! I have not been on it quite a long time. My SO came in February and since then we have been doing so much! The most exciting part is that he got his green card in the mail at the beginning of August. yea!

I think my kids are having a delayed reaction to him being here.

Looking to talk to a few people who have gone through some "hard times" with their kids once SO was in the states and in the house. Is there a parenting forum anywhere on the web about this? (immigration;step-family; tween/teen issues) I need some advice and help!

Thanks!

Baj

Hi! Our interview was at the end of July. I had prepared everything. I spent quite a lot of time getting it all together. I had to get my divorce papers certified; he had to get his birth certificate translated again; we had to make sure he was on everything we could get him on in terms of accounts and such...

Our interview took 5 minutes. In that time, the interviewer asked my husband a few general questions (military service and about his son). That was it. He did not ask us ANYTHING about us. He did not look at anything I brought in. (original documents and copies all orderly arranged in a folder) While I was excited that we passed and he said "congratulations", a little part of me questioned why I did all of this work and spent all of this money for nothing. I thought this "interview" was to verify OUR marriage and that it was a real marriage. Not one question about us. Go figure.

I put it all in my fire-proof vault to bring out when we apply for citizenship in 2 years.

Green card came in the mail 2 weeks later. Hurray! That is the important thing...

Baj

Thanks for the responses but I am very confused. It seems as if some people just walk in with supporting evidence of their relationship- but there is so much more you have to do and get together. I received a HUGE LIST of things to bring to the interview: (doesn't everyone?)

-Interview Notice and Gov't issued ID

-Medical exam (I-693) and vaccination in sealed envelope (unless submitted)

-completed affidavit of support (I-864) with all required evidence (not going to list all here as I believe this was already submitted)

-all documentation establishing your eligibility for Lawful Permanent Resident status (WHAT IS THIS?)

-any immigration-related documentation ever issued to you. (EAD, I-512)..we do not have ANY of this yet...what else could this be?

-All travel documents used to enter the US (does this mean the plane ticket or just the passport with I-94 stamp?

-Your birth certificate

-petitioners birth cert

-copy of certified marriage cert; all death/divorce papers from former spouses

-supporting evidence of relationship (this is the easy stuff to get)

-original and copy of each supporting document that you submitted with your application.

-certified English translation for each foreign document (which means birth cert; divorce paper,..) There are certain criteria for translator. We had this all done, but submitted our originals with paperwork over a year ago... not sure if I need to get this all done again.?.

I am a bit overwhelmed with getting "originals" together..and trying to find out if I have to get this all translated yet again. I worry about the "already submitted" part.. Guess I will bring the entire file we submitted when we applied for AOS.

We have pics, bank acct and a few other things... not much due to certain constraints, but enough. It is the "legal" paperwork I am most worried about.

Any help on any the above would be appreciated. Thanks!

Baj

Iraq

male

No

Hi All! My husband came on a k-1 visa. We submitted for AOS in May. I just received the I-797C, Notice of Action for our interview date. It is set at the end of July. I have a few questions.

There is a HUGE list of things to bring to the interview. It is quite overwhelming. In looking closer however, I see that we have already submitted many of these items (birth certificates and what-not), so I guess this is the time to bring the original (plus yet ANOTHER copy) of everything.

Questions:

One thing is listed as "all documentation establishing your eligibility for Lawful Permanent Resident Status". What would this be?

If my birth certificate clearly shows I was born in the USA, wouldn't that be enough proof of "evidence of US Citizenship"?

There are many more questions- but I need to go through previous packages that we sent in hopes of answering them...

Thank you!

Baj

Hello MENA! It has been a while! My life has been a whirlwind these past few months, but alhamdullilah, all is going well.

We are slowly adjusting to our life- the most frustrating part is that he can't drive here yet. So we are looking into getting that changed soon.

I hope everyone is doing well and I can't wait to get updated!

Enjoy the day-

Baj

Good Monday everyone! It has been a while! Been very busy! I hope everyone is having a great week!

Off to Chicago on Thursday with the hubby and kids. Things are going pretty well... I will have to start a

thread on "adjustment funnies"...

Take care!

Baj

Evening MENA- Long time no see! I have been SO busy with Ghassan here and all. We are slowly adjusting to life.. Kids are doing okay. Have to share some adjustment/translation funnies one day. Perhaps we can get a thread on that going. LOL. Hope everyone is doing well and all is good in Mena-land.Baj

Salaam HotGuy! Thanks for posting- I know this helped explain some of the things while I was in AP.

I was hoping to hear good news from you- as I haven't been on in a while. I keep thinking of you and praying your AP ends SOON.

Baj

That is great news! Any time the DOS actually tells you something other than the usual is cause for celebration!

Praying that things go smooth and quick!

Baj

oh my- everyone is out and about I guess!

I have been so busy lately- haven't been on the computer much at all. This is a nice break actually as I spent my nights online for over a year and a half.

We were married on February 18th- I was off of work and the court only does marriages once a week; so we said "why not?" Have to do it within 90 days anyway. Of course, family here is all freaking out... Grandma is meeting him tonight for the 1st time. We are bringing dinner with us. (Hungarian Goulash) Hope it comes out okay!

We are all adjusting as expected but things are going good.

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Baj

Joe- that's great news! Congrats! Hopefully June will come soon!

HotGuy- that is good news! I am sure it is a bittersweet announcement- you are near the end; but you are still in AP. Hang in there. I think of you often and pray things happen soon.

To everyone else in AP- I know it is tough. Hang in there! In your darkest times believe it will happen. Once it does happen, it will be unexpected and happen so quick. We were watching the updates on the embassy site- but that isn't accurate. They still do not show us being done and it is going on 3 weeks later... so, you just never know when you are going to get that life-changing phone call.

Praying for everyone-

Baj

Hey Bridget-

What pure hell. Hell on Earth. What to do? Pray, pray and pray. The situation seems hopeless, but all you can do is take each day as it comes and live it. Things will happen if there is a will. I know my husband used to talk to people online from the states when he was in Iraq during the war before I met him. Does he really feel that threatened? I know that in Syria we were pretty much limited to small talk because the fear of someone always listening or watching online. It sure sucks.

Just know that you are in my prayers. I am not sure about this Larkin dude. What phone number? Does it have the Iraq country code?

Alen will realize soon enough that he will have to accept help from others. It is very hard for him to do, I am sure of it. (been there!) There may be no other way.. He needs to find contacts of people who may be able to help.

I can't imagine the hell you are living through right now- my entire heart goes out to you. If you ever want to talk or vent or cry on a shoulder, I am here- just PM me.

Baj

Thanks for the link. This issue is close to my heart...

Baj

Wonderful News! One less step to take...on to the next! Best wishes.

Baj

HAPPY MONDAY!

I am here with my honey- he is currently napping on the couch.. Been a wild week for us. Everyone is doing some adjusting... I am SO grateful I have this week off for us! We have been doing a lot of cooking- and eating!

Enjoy the rest of the evening. Jeanne- I want your weather! Send it to Michigan!

Baj

Salaam Bridget-

You know most of my story. My SO fled Iraq due to the war and was living as a refuge in Syria for 3 years. It was a hard, hard life. His mom/dad and other family are still in Baghdad, although he has many other brothers in different countries around the world.

We feared every day that Syria would kick him out. Getting a "temporary residency" card was harder each month- and finally for the last 4 months, he didn't have any. Last Sunday they interrogated him and almost sent him to the border. We had to pay $2000 to get this through... It was sickening. Not like living in Syria was a dream-world. It wasn't. They wouldn't let him work and he lived in deplorable conditions- but compared to living in a war zone, it was preferable. He had to depend on his family to send him money each month. Very hard for a man to ask for money like that. I felt for him.

Everything changed for us last Wednesday when I picked him up at the CHicago O'Hare airport. That is a whole other story- He was in there SO long! (over 4 hours in immigration!)

I am sorry your SO was deported back to Iraq. What a nightmare for you. You did tell me that he was living with people he knows. What city is he in? How do you correspond with him? Is he able to get to an internet cafe? Is he in an area where he lived? What is going on there?

Did he have a temporary residency card for Sweden which they decided not to honor? That so sucks- there are just no other words.

Keep praying hard. I know I am for you.

Baj

Congrats! It is an exciting time!

Good for you!