nurse1967

I mailed my I-130 on the 19th and it was received at the lockbox on the 23rd. I am freaking out cause when I look at other people's timelines most have Nao1 by now. They haven't even cashed my check. What should I do??? HELP!!!!

Give it a few more days!!!! Give it till next Friday, Im sure you will have NOA1 by then.

Thanks for the information!!! This is making me a nervous wreck and I know the fun has just begun!

I mailed my I-130 on the 19th and it was received at the lockbox on the 23rd. I am freaking out cause when I look at other people's timelines most have Nao1 by now. They haven't even cashed my check. What should I do??? HELP!!!!

Congratulations!! It is exciting to see people getting approved. I am so happy for you both!!

Ok, now I am not trying to be unsympathetic or mean, but for those of us who are new to this process and love our spouse/fiance, I think this type of post can be very disheartening. I understand that this is a support sight but if you are with your significant other and things aren't working out I think you need to find support from people other than those who are still away from their loved ones. Face it, bad marriage are made every day not just with foreign spouses. That's just my opinion.

So why are you taking it personally? Is your relationship really that weak that it puts doubts in your head when somebody else wants support? Face it, people will come here looking for support and advice and you need to be more confident of your relationship. Heaven forbid, you ever have a situation where you need advice (I pray that you don't) wonder how you would feel not being able to get it because some people will get disheartened. Have a little compassion for others.

No honey that's not it. LOL forget I mentioned it and go on with the counseling session.

Ok, now I am not trying to be unsympathetic or mean, but for those of us who are new to this process and love our spouse/fiance, I think this type of post can be very disheartening. I understand that this is a support sight but if you are with your significant other and things aren't working out I think you need to find support from people other than those who are still away from their loved ones. Face it, bad marriage are made every day not just with foreign spouses. That's just my opinion.

There's plenty of stuff on VJ that can be disheartening, but does that mean that people should not be able to post their actual experiences? No. I see that you just joined and if you are already disheartened from this one post, then I pity the fact that you are going through the Egyptian embassy.

Ha ha that's funny

Hey there !!! I would like to know if there are february 2009 waiting for the NOA 1?

God bless us

Yes, I mailed my I-130 on February 19th. It arrived on February 23rd and my check has not been cashed yet nor have I received my NOA 1

Thank you Visajourney for helping me an my husband navigate through getting a K1 visa and doing AOS. Where is the Post Icon of a broken heart? Now my marital ship is taking on some serious water. I think we might sink.

I am not a housewife type. I am not happy having life revolve around food - that is, cooking, and cleaning up after the cooking and the eating. And cleaning. His idea of clean is not mine. My idea of cleaning is keeping everything sanitary enough that ants, flys, cockroaches, and other bugs, plus mold or things like salmonella, that none of these things are encouraged to live with us. This causes conflict. I don't know how much I can change before it drives me crazy or at least makes me into someone I do not want to be. There are things in life to do and experience and unless the domestic activities are personally fulfilling to the person doing them, for ME it seems like a waste of time.

There are bedroom issues too. He won't listen to me when I try to describe how a bad day or being yelled at effects my interest in any action happening in the bedroom. I can't say too much more before it would be indecent of me. I let him "have me" too many times when I didn't want to. Now the culminating act is uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I tried to describe this too him so we could work it out. Maybe there is a communication issue. His english is good enough for most days, but maybe not good enough for this? He won't brush his teeth and they look bad. I know my breathe is not good either, but trying to not smell his when we are intimate - plus not wanting to breathe into his nose - makes for a tense scenario for me. Which is part of my tension at that time.

He doesn't like my sister. They had some issues. She certainly has her problems, but he insists on describing them to her in glaring terms trying to make me not like her as much, or maybe just to make me see who she really is. And he says he doesn't want her to think he is keeping me from talking to her. He thinks I only defend her, but that I don't defend him when she says something not so nice about him. I know I need to be cautious with how I say things to her or it will cause her to get the wrong idea (she feels the whole world is against her sometimes - and given her past I can understand somewhat why) and make the whole situation escalate out of control. He does not want to see that I am trying to do that. They are both strong willed.

He does not treat my dog very well. She is my dog and I should have say over how she is treated. She is shy, easily spooked. She seems to react that way more in response to men. He likes to chase her and some dogs see that as play (today he did that and did something so she yipped a couple times - he said that he was trying to teach her to act like a real dog), but she shakes and her tail tucks and if he raises her hand she cowers down. I see things that alarm me. It's starting to get abusive and I don't want her to live her remaining time shaking and being chased. I fear she might slip running away down the steps. She is getting old and be already slips sometimes without being chased. I start to feel that this is a bad situation for her and I need to get her out of it. That makes me wonder if maybe it's bad for me too. Or maybe I've just been reading too much about animals mirroring us - and sometimes showing us what our emotions are telling us even if we don't see it so clearly.

I make many tiny mistakes rather often and he does not want to hear "I'm sorry." I feel he over reacts and gets more irritated than the situation warrants. I noticed my body language feels like I'm trying to make him feel like he has been punishing enough and please to stop because I can't take much more. I used to cry. When I became hysterical he would finally stop and go all nice. Once I would calm down he would go, "I didn't want you to be this upset. But...." Now I just feel doowwwwwn. My heart feels heavy.

He puts me down with words. And of course he's "just" trying to point out areas where I need work. He says I only make excuses. I've heard of breaking someone down to build them back up, but... when will he build me back up?

He threatens divorce. He talks about going to other girls if I don't change.

He says I'm only thinking about myself, that I am not thinking about his feelings. He gets mad and I get verrrry sad. You know that kind of sad where you don't feel like you have energy to stand up, and you might notice you stomach feels empty, but you don't really care? When I'm like that, I don't know how to see his feelings. All I see is anger, and it does not feel justified. He said I always have an excuse, "tell me what it will be tomorrow so I'll know early." The idea of jumping up to make him food makes me feel like I would be reacting out of fear of his reaction. That makes me feel like I am about to act like a door mat. After the last two days, I'm always waiting for something to happen accidentally to set him off again. Is that a way to live? Fearing what the other person will do if you don't have dinner ready on time?

There are other things too. I'm trying to keep it to the ones that hurt or concern me the most. Did I say he started snapping pens and has started throwing things when he feels mad? He says in his culture if the wife was like I am, the husband would hit her.

I get compared to women from his country.

And in some way I feel like it's my fault. I'm sure in some way there is something I could have done to stop this from getting so bad. I know there are some cultural differences - although occassionally I try to show him that, but he says that's not cultural, that it's a problem in me. Or he agrees and talks about how it is a disease with Americans. The way he says it, I start to be offended. Sometimes he isn't quite serious, but I have always had some trouble knowing if he was joking. I know he changed a lot of things when he came here. I don't know how much more I can change. And I don't know if I want to be the person I would have to become if I changed certain things.

There is this widening gulf between us. I didn't want it to be this way. I don't know how to fix it. If it can be fixed. Or if it is too much for me. I don't know how to cater to him without losing myself. Will catering to him make him listen to how I feel? I know it would be bad to bring a child into this, so getting pregnant is out.

He is smart. He can figure people out very quickly. He learns quickly too, and his memory is much better than mine. He does not understand that he has an advantage in these areas. He trusts his ideas about people. But sometimes he is wrong or does not have the right info, coming from a different cultural background. He does not distinguish between the two. Whatever, it makes me second guess myself, from all the things he tells me about me. In the areas he is correct about, it's good to know, but the way he says it to me is not tactful. Which of these things is he right about, and which ones are flat out WRONG?

I know he is not beating me or anything like that. I don't know if he would or not. With the pen breaking and the knocking things over, increasingly foul language, the talk about what he would do I was from his country, it makes me wonder. He says things in anger and does not censor himself, but it makes me consider if he might one day do something. My first husband was rather a wimp and even though I imagined he might do something, I never really had the feeling that he would. With this man, I do not know.

How long do I sit through this? I rack my mind trying to think of what I could say or do, but I am not savvy or street smart. Everything I say is wrong or makes things worse. He pushes me verbally for answers. Sometimes the question is a loaded question, and many times I do not know how to answer. For example, the question should not be if the man is justified in cheating because his wife would not "sleep" with him, the question should be, "why does she not want to sleep with him." "Sleeping" with someone, in what experience I do have, has usually been uncomfortable because I get tense. I think the only thing that would please him, is if I took a shower right now and put on feminine clothes, and when he comes up for bed, go up to him and say that I'm sorry I've been a bad wife and have not been sleeping with him, and maybe cry and go on about how wrong I was and how I will only cook things from his country from now on, and it will always be on time. It's not good to do "that" if it hurts, and I can't see living life around the kitchen. That is sooooo not me. Do I have to do that to make this work out?

Come on VJers, I really need some support right now. He is all edges right now and I'm already treading one. What are my options?

I'm so mentally and emotionally drained.

Ok, now I am not trying to be unsympathetic or mean, but for those of us who are new to this process and love our spouse/fiance, I think this type of post can be very disheartening. I understand that this is a support sight but if you are with your significant other and things aren't working out I think you need to find support from people other than those who are still away from their loved ones. Face it, bad marriage are made every day not just with foreign spouses. That's just my opinion.

I applied for a K3 visa. I have read that you automatically also file a CR1 at that time and that you can "abandon" the K3 process and go with the Cr1 instead. How do you go about doing this???? Do you somewhere down the line give you this option??? PLEASE HELP!!!!

This made me soooo sad too!! I was in the market in Cairo at the beginning of February and have pictures of my husband and myself sitting on that wall. I will never understand why people think things like bombing innocents can ever produce change in the world. I still love Egypt and I know I will be going back some day. But, this sure does make you want to steer clear of tourist attractions.

Hello everyone!! I sent my package certified with return receipt on February 19th. I saw today that it actually arrived to USCIS. How long is the wait for them to cash your check usually?? Anyone know?? I am just happy to finally have the ball rolling. I cannot wait until the day when no one can ever keep us apart again!!

My husband is from El Mahalla and I am from Louisville Kentucky

Hello everyone!!! I will hopefully be mailing my I-130 next week. I am waiting on my translated marriage contract to arrive in the mail. What is the DCF everyone is talking about??? I am soooo ready to get this process started.

Follow the GUIDES and be patient. That's pretty much all you'll need to do.

Good luck!

Diana

Diana, thank you soooo much. I am so nervous about this whole process. It looks like the average time frame is 6-7 months. Is that right?

Betsy

My husband and I were married in Egypt on January 29, 2009. I am getting together the information to send in my I-130. Does anyone have any helpful hints??

Thanks!!!