missmissy

I've been on both sides of this and the best advice I can give you is - don't give up and do encourage him to problem solve a little more. When we lived in Sweden, the Dane pushed me out of the nest, so to speak. I had to learn how to get things done. He encouraged me to figure it all out, on my own. Yeah, I got really mad at times but I felt so much better when I could do things on my own and not rely on him for everything. So...when we finally got our Visa and the Dane moved here, I forgot all about that. We had 2 solid years of adjustment to live through because I hovered, I managed, I nagged, I problem solved, I did everything I could for him and nothing helped. When I finally threw my hands up and told him to sink or swim, he swam. His motto became - if it is to be, it is up to me.

I think they have given up on adopting him for now - he's almost 15 I just found out. If they are his legal guardians in Haiti, can they apply for a travel visa so he can come home for visits? I have a feeling this is not going to be an option but wanted y'all's opinions too!

A friend of mine is working in Haiti as a missionary. While there, they met a 12 year old orphan and developed a very strong relationship with him and want to adopt him and bring him back to the US when their mission is done. The problems - he's an orphan but was NOT living in an orphanage. He has ZERO papers or documentation, he doesn't even know how old he is.

I'm looking for general information on what options they may have and how to navigate this. Any serious help or advice is greatly appreciated. If this is not in the correct forum or if there is a better site for this, please direct me there!

thanks so much!

Lars has been here 3 years now and he loves it. He loved it the moment he got here. His love affair with Wendy's hamburgers, Walmart, Biglots....he doesn't want to move back to Denmark. He's gotten his real estate license and we work together. His 10 year Green Card arrived last month. He's happy and well adjusted.

November 27, 2012 is when I sent in the response.

I'll validate you! We received an RFE in October and it took me a month to gather what I "thought" they wanted. I sent over 6 pounds of paper to them. I highlited AND put notes all over it all, and I separated everything by colored paper. We got the text message last night - card production ordered.

If you didn't get an RFE, it's easy to brush this off and tell others to take it easy. However, having had an RFE - we freaked out. We are in our 50's and our lives are not as merged as other, younger couples are. We had to dig deep to find enough to send, thankfully - it was enough. Maybe the notes and highliting helped.

I know - so relieved it's over for a while! I believe they judge these by the pound. When I sent in the initial paperwork, I didn't send in too much but what I thought was enough. After the RFE - I sent in SIX POUNDS of paper!

Congratulations! What a long journey!

Got the text message last night - On December 17, 2012, we ordered production of your new card. WHEW!!!

RFE received today

I sent in what we have - the mortgage for our house, joint; joint bank accounts, tax returns with his name on the return, but he wasn't filing as he had no income (didn't work for a year and a half).

I'm not really sure what else to send them. We don't have much more than that. We have another year of tax returns, another year of bank statements, another year of mortgage payments.....

Any suggestions??

For the list the RFE was dated October 12.

In 2007 - we moved to Sweden for a year. I sold everything I had in the U.S., my kids were all in college and living on their own -and away we went. Honestly, it took me almost the entire year to start feeling good about being there and not so homesick and "lost" feeling. I never felt "normal" but I grew comfortable and I'd guess if we had stayed, it would have gotten better and better. We lived in Landskrona - a tiny, tiny little coastal village. We had internet but no car. The one thing that helped me more than anything - getting out on my own. I had a bike and I started exploring Landskrona and the surrounding areas. I learned how to buy train tickets and bus tickets and go grocery shopping. The more I did, the more I was out of our tiny apartment, the better I felt.

Having gone through this myself - I feel for the OP and for all foreign spouses. We just had a visit from Lars' son and his girlfriend and I was reminded again - it's not easy to get around in the United States. Only the larger cities have reliable and safe mass-transit in place. Almost everywhere else you need a car. Time and patience are needed. Hang in there!

Yes, Minister

A BBC Classic!

Once you're married for a while you'll think back and wish you had that distance again for a few days here and there.

So true....sigh

wrathed

I really enjoyed the 7 letter scrabble, when I can get over here and play. Now - no one is playing because a few took over??

Harvest

Shearer

Nearer

steers

treats

Downey

Flings

Biometrics done Friday - it was the same agent that helped us get Lars' AP expedited when first got married. She remembered us and we talked for a while. Glad to have it behind us. Now waiting to see what happens next...interview or not!

I moved to Sweden for a year to be with Lars and I can tell you from personal experience - being homesick is just about the worst feeling ever. We got through it. To everyone on this board that has left their entire life to come here to be with someone, you are my hero. It was the hardest thing I ever did and I have so much admiration for the strength it must take to stay here and work through it. I was lucky, I got to come home and he still wanted to come home with me!

Lars has periods of homesickness and it has led to some strange behavior on his part, but we work through it and staying busy does help. So does talking about it. He had a lot of patience with me when I was in Sweden and I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Our experience with this - Lars was denied entry in 2008, after coming back and forth with me for 2 years. He was detained at JFK, allowed to make one call, to tell me he was being sent home, and kept there until his return flight, about 8 hours. They searched him, his computer, read everything they could access, made him give passwords, etc. The airline had him use his return ticket - so we paid for his return flight. Today, 4 years later - he has his greencard and has applied for ROC - he is still nervous going through the airport. Being denied entry had no effect on his getting his visa, we disclosed all the details.

In other news, the receipt number on Elisha's biometrics notice is finally showing up in the online case status application. Of course, like a doofus, I immediately signed up for e-mail and SMS updates.

Ours not showing up yet :-(