Boorai

My wife and daugher have been in country for 3 weeks. Came on CR1/CR2 VISAs. On teh DS230 form there is an option to have USCIS obtain and deliver a social security number to you with you having to do nothing but wait at home for the number. We did this....waited 3 weeks. The numbers never came.

So, i called the Federal Social Security Administration..they had no clue what they were talking about. So, I then called the local, reginal office who were much more informed. Seems that ALL social security numbers must be processed IN PERSON at the regional office. Call you regional office for exact info, but it was very straight forward for us. Passport(with I155 stamp and birth certificates)...took about 15 minutes to process. Then we were told that SSN would be mailed to us 10-14 days.

We wasted 3 weeks waiting and I do not want to see anyone else just wait like we did. So, my advice....we you FIRST arrive in the U.S....call the Federal Socail Secutiry Administration and ask for status of processing on your number. They will say "processing" or "nothing pocesses"...if you get the latter; get to your regional office and get processed.

Hope this helps.

Well, if I may:

When did I know that I loved Gracey? That is a tough questin, because I cannot remember when i did not. I was married for 12 years and was stung badly by my ex-wife. So, I was EXTREMELY hesitant to even commit to a girlfriend; married was FAR frommy mind. Then I met this incredible woman who has the ability to express an intelligent thought(seems that is hard to find now-a-days)..anyhow, I thrive on good conversation and that is how we began. Spending countless hours....talking. We learned much about each over then and soon she was expressing some affectoin towards me.

Well, i felt the same, but did not want to be hurt again...so, I remained behind my protective wall. Being that we both had been through tough realtionship before and that we were both mature...we expressed our feelings openly. I told her of my hesitancy and she told me of her feelings. So, we proceeded from there. I sent her many music CDs, with romantic R&B to express my feelings when I was not ready to do so myself.

Eventually, I could no longer contain myself...my fears were wiped away and my "Luv you"..became "I love you"...and I flew to PI. We both know that our future was together...in fact, we bought the engagement ring..BEFORE I proposed to her.

Anyhow, my Gracey is nothing short of incredible..a woman in eveyr sense of the word. Beauty that is unrivaled, beauty that is unmatched, and a heart big enough to love even me. I have never known anything as pure as her heart..I have never been so accepted without prejuidice. I have deamt of a woman my entire life and Gracey Love is it. I have dreamt of a daughter and our baby girl is that daughter.

So, if you ask eme when I knew...I would have to say that I knew my entire life.

just a regular ole sandwich plastic bag...close iwth a strip of tape and write all pertinent info on the tape as well as on the back of the pics.

Three days and my wife and child will be here in the U.S. and its about time. Has been nearly nine months since I have seen them. Our VISA process was really fast, but we decided to let our baby finish prep. But here we are....3 days away.

This site has been incredibly helpful...discoverd by a vague search for VISA info. But in the end, the most useful tool of all of them.

Just wanted to offer my thanks to everyone who help up along the way and offere a word of encouragment to those still processing. Hang in there, keep you hopes up and...read, read, read...if you are doing it right, you are research your behind off. I cannot count the hours I have spent reading posting, posting posts...and fretting about all the little details. But we made it.

God's love to all.

Am curious if anyone has been through the step-child adoptin process yet. My wife and I want me to adopt our baby girl, but neither of us have been through this before.

The biological father has never been in her life(she is 6 now)...and triyng to find him for consent is highly unlikely. Would a US court still require consent even though the biological father is NOT on the birth certificate? and even though his where abouts are unknown?

This is likely the bigget hump in the process for us.

Any info would be helpful..thanks.

Re-read this very thread and I believe you actually were the first to sugget that. I could be mistaken and forgive me it I am. But on this thread there have been numerous comments to the sort. With neither myself NOR DPX suggesting or supporting that notion.

The support comes from duties owed to the *child*. Not the woman. The woman, once the kid is born, is in exactly the same position as the father. Support the child, provide for the child's support, or (jointly) terminate parental rights. Support for the child starts at birth (not before.)

Being able to terminate child support based on the idea that the woman didn't have an abortion is a conceptually confused claim. (Not to mention, likely quite bad practically.)

If the father gets the same parental rights as the mother, then there's some logic to your idea. Unfortunately, the man rarely gets any parental rights or even gets to see the child he's paying to help support.

They do, under the law. If the dad was primary caregiver and the woman the wage-earner, he'd get child support, too. In practice, in divorces, this isn't always the case.

But that's what I mean when I say that if you want to fix child support, we should undertake laws to make that more fair, not try to solve the problem by punishing the child, or create a situation where a guy could force a woman to terminate a pregnancy.

no one has even come close to suggesting that a man have the authority to force a woman into an abortion. That was suggested by the Pro-Choicers actually; to further support their opinion.

Perhaps the words Rights needs defined:

the right to chooses whether your child lives or dies, the right to love that child, the right to rear that child, the right to want to pass onto your child good qualities, the right to share the life that you HELPED create, the right to take ownership of your actions, the right to share the joy of your child.

These are the rights that I speak of....not legal rights. Though those should be considered as well.

Many assume that because the mother is the environment that the child is in..that the growth and development of that child is interlink to that of the mother's, thus giving her ultimate authority over the well being of the child. There Is much truth to that, but the child, at conception, is a life unto itself and seperate from the mother. Pro-choicers would conclude that since the child is "part" of the woman's body that the decision of the fetus are her's exclusively.

Let's not forget that the fetus share half of its genes from the mother and half from the father....So, that growth, the tisse IS part of the father's. No, he does not have the ability to provied the bilogical environment nor be the vessel for teh fetus...but he DOES have his own personal tissue growing inside the womb.

Does this not give him(to all the scientist) some right to govern how HIS DNA, his genes, his tissue is to be maintained? The mother carries nor more, no less genetic tissue offerings to the fetus than the father does. The only difference is the vessel it is carried in. Yes, i know this is significant..I am well aware of this.

You're going on as if both partners NEVER discuss this and women just go off on their own, which does happen often, but also many women do talk to their sex partners about it... many times both make the decision. Kind of goes both ways.

A woman chooses to abort the fetus when a woman doesn't want to carry a baby to term, nor does she want the responsibility of having a baby. So because a man wants the baby she needs to carry it to term for 9 months, she needs to give birth??? Do you realize how that sounds?

What happens to the young mother who has to go to school or has parents and a community who will shun her because of it? Oh wait, it could be like a punishment right!? That'll teach her. All because some guy wants her to keep this baby inside of her.

Either way you look at it, the decision is selfish yes, but you want the man to make the decision.

I understand both gene pools are involved, but until that baby is born, that decision is the woman's, its our bodies.

Regardless, your way is just as immoral as a woman not discussing it. If we were to look at it from your point of view.

My only point was that the father gets exluded in these decisions. When there may very well be a loving, capable father. The argument of "its a woman's body"; just is not good enough(too me). Because, the babies body is not her's and the father must has rights in these type of decisions.

I have already made my arugment.

Of course women feel the pressure to have sex. It's then their responsibility to stop it before it goes too far. If the woman is "too horny" to reject a man's urge to "stick it in," then that's her fault. If it's all about the woman's body, then she should take better care of it.

"If it's all about the woman's body, then she should take better care of it."

BRAVO!!!

Well, in the end a wonderful discussion. Am hoping that one day we can all offer humanity to each other. That we can respect each other's roles and values. Of course, this is impossible....but one can dream cant' he?

Perhaps the words Rights needs defined:

the right to chooses whether your child lives or dies, the right to love that child, the right to rear that child, the right to want to pass onto your child good qualities, the right to share the life that you HELPED create, the right to take ownership of your actions, the right to share the joy of your child.

These are the rights that I speak of....not legal rights. Though those should be considered as well.

Many assume that because the mother is the environment that the child is in..that the growth and development of that child is interlink to that of the mother's, thus giving her ultimate authority over the well being of the child. There Is much truth to that, but the child, at conception, is a life unto itself and seperate from the mother. Pro-choicers would conclude that since the child is "part" of the woman's body that the decision of the fetus are her's exclusively.

Let's not forget that the fetus share half of its genes from the mother and half from the father....So, that growth, the tisse IS part of the father's. No, he does not have the ability to provied the bilogical environment nor be the vessel for teh fetus...but he DOES have his own personal tissue growing inside the womb.

Does this not give him(to all the scientist) some right to govern how HIS DNA, his genes, his tissue is to be maintained? The mother carries nor more, no less genetic tissue offerings to the fetus than the father does. The only difference is the vessel it is carried in. Yes, i know this is significant..I am well aware of this.

Th ank you DPX for seeing my point.

My only point was that the father has zero rights and is forced into the decision of the mother(when both made the decision to have unprotected sex). This is bases upon a consentual decision to have intercourse. Yes, it is a woman's body..but the life that she carries is not her's; its the child's life. Thus it is the responsibility of both parents to collaborate and advocate for the best interest of the child. And I only mentions a potential(though, I am sure, VERY rare) scenario whereas the mother wants to abort yet the father would want the child born. Along with comes all the agruments that have been previously mentioned.

Peace, Love, and Soul to everyone

The father isn't forgotten; it's just that the alternative is him being able to have a say in whether someone gets an abortion. I mean, think it through. If you give him the same rights over the fetus, and they disagree, then what? She wants to keep the baby, he wants to abort. (Because this is almost always about child support.) Does he take her to court to get an order for her to terminate the pregnancy?

I see where you're coming from, but there's no way to give the guy rights as a father before it's born while respecting the woman's right over her own body. And once the kid is born, both parents are in the same position: they either have to care for the child, provide for its care, or terminate their parental rights.

I'd rather rework how child support is handled or make it easier to adopt than make it so someone else has theoretical rights over his wife or girlfriend's body.

Thank you...it s about time someone used a logical argument. i know its a a situation without a definet answer. But in most arguments the father is completely forgotten about. Its a decision that a couple should agree on, but does not always do so. Its a shame because there are MANY good men who would make wonderful fathers.

Your point on child support is a very good one, indeed. Always alternatives to abortion.....easier adoptions et al...would be another solution.

Interesting though, how the backlash AGAINST the father is so strong....whenever I bring up this point.

Its not about power of one over the other. Its about the rights of both are parents. The father is either thrusted into or removed from fatherhood..with no decision in the matter.

Yes, I am aware that the woman is the gestator. And the woman and the fetus are interlinked. But the fetus IS a life unto itself and relies upon the mother(parents) to make decisions for it. But even though the father does not physically nurture the fetus, he IS a part of that gestation.

Seems the father is being forgotten about in all this. And i think that is ashame....as men are suppose to "be a man" and do his part AFTER the birth of the child. Seems he would have rights BEFORE the birth of the child too.

But maybe I am thinking bigger than the surface issue.

But it isn't exactly practical, is it...

How the hell would something like that be enshrined into law?

ITS A MORAL ISSUE, NOT A LEGAL ISSUE!!!! Has always been and wil always be. just think about it for a bit.

Its not about power of one over the other. Its about the rights of both are parents. The father is either thrusted into or removed from fatherhood..with no decision in the matter.

Yes, I am aware that the woman is the gestator. And the woman and the fetus are interlinked. But the fetus IS a life unto itself and relies upon the mother(parents) to make decisions for it. But even though the father does not physically nurture the fetus, he IS a part of that gestation.

Seems the father is being forgotten about in all this. And i think that is ashame....as men are suppose to "be a man" and do his part AFTER the birth of the child. Seems he would have rights BEFORE the birth of the child too.

But maybe I am thinking bigger than the surface issue.

Then father's should have the right to refuse parental obligation AFTER birth...no, i don't endorse this.

but you argument that its "woman's choice" and the father has no rights...then he should not be forced into fatherhood. Your argument gives the woman all power and rights with pregnancy and birth. Let's not forget that the fathe IS involved in the process and has rights as well.

its simply a bias that cannot exist.

oh wow..I must say that is surprising. That child carries half the father genes. The father should have a say in this.

That would imply that he should have some right of ownership over the woman's body.

He doesn't.

Rights over the woman's body...no. I agree with you. But the CHILD'S body is not the mother's nor the father's OR its BOTH the mother's and the father's.

oh wow..I must say that is surprising. That child carries half the father genes. The father should have a say in this.

How can a woman force a man 1)INTO fatherhood and 2)OUT of fatherhood!?!?!?!?!?

and what happens when the mother chooses to abort.......even if the father does not want it so? What are HIS rights?

But I'm not religious. I don't quantify my statements with "God made us all" and use that as a reason for allowing children to be born into a world where they will only know pain and suffering.

And there is no correlation between the situation of an elderly person and a fetus.

No correlation!?!??! As we age our growth slowly...from birth until death we digress. The elderly, in many respect, can become infantile. Unfortunately through disease and disorder this is fact.

What we are debating is quality of life and the determination to continue that life.

And with respects to your scientific view...or what I presume is your scientific view or at least your view minus God(which is impossible to do)..but ok, I can play along:

Then view if philisophically. Influence from one human to another...or do you believe that infant, babies have no influence, no good to offer onto this world or another human being? Are there people living amongst us that have no purpose in life, that are only breathing air? That have absolutely nothing to offer to anyone? And is there an age by which one WOULD offer unto others? Are babies, infants, a fetus exempt from influencing, comforting, bonding, interacting, feeling, perceptualizing, emoting....smiling?

Is is EXTREMELY rare to have a scenario fit your description. A child to live for few months in horrible pain. Rare, IF existant...it would be inhuman to permit one to rithe in pain. Medication control of this would occur. Thus improving quality of life.

Please offer to us a realistic scenario...a disorder or disease that would cause such great pain and lack of quality of life. I would be interested in knowing of one. One that could not be managed. Yes, there are some that can end in a negative outcome, but there are none that cannot be managed..even for a short time. During this time allowing for bonding with mother and father....affecting each other's lives.

I cannot fathom a government or a doctor or any body of authority determining the defintion of Quality of Life...I am horrored to think of it.

To the poster who said that abortion are ok if there are life compatibilty issues. I say shame on you. God breathed life into ALL of our lungs for a purpose. What right do we have to say that because of a congenital deformality that THAt life has nothing to offer. Or that THAT life will only suffer thus bringing no reason into this world. i truly believe(and I am a nurse and witnessed death MANY times over) that each of us has a purpose and that until our very last breathe we can influence another...put a mark on another's life.

If you're referring to me you need to re-read my post.

If a fetus is found to have an abnormality which means that it will die, horribly, within a few months of birth I say that the parents should consider termination. That child will be in pain and will have no quality of life. In those circumstances I say you are actually sparing the child an unpleasant few months which will only end in death.

With regards to other syndromes like Down or other birth defects like CP I say no. Those children have a chance at an enjoyable life with the right support.

I knew of a woman who begged to have a termination at 33 weeks cause her child had a cleft palate. I was disgusted.

Pain management, quality of life...how exacty do yo measures these in such a child? Yes there are ways to measure pain in a baby...but how do you meaure quality of life??!!?...would you apply the same rules to our elderly who cannot communicate? Who have had a stroke and cannot express themselves? Should they get extinguished because they have no quality of life?

My point is that EVERY life has meaning, EVERY life has other lives that it influences. We do not know WHY God brings each of us into this world, but we know that he does.....for a purpose. I do not understand why or how we can intercede that.

Yes, quality of life is important..i agree 100% with you on that..but its not for us to determine what that is.

And if I may offer up my opinions:

Life is life...regardless of its size or demensions. A cell is life, an atom is life, a proton, a neutron...life. So, with conception...life begets life. THIS IS NO SPONTANGEOUS GENERATION IN REPRODUCTION. At ANY level, with ANY lives.

So, there debate about when life begins is easily answered....it always exists. So, now we move onto the question of humanity. When does it become human. Again, very easily answered. When God breathed choose it too be. If you are a person of faith, they ...easily answered. When His will was done(conception)...a human was created. For those who do not believe in a faith-based inspiration...we refer to science; my very first point; life begets life thus a human life.

What gets lost in all this debate about abortion, especially amongst the Pro-Choice group...is what rights do the Fathers have in this decision? Half of the baby's genes came from the father. Does he not have a right to the decision to abort or not?!?!? Many would say "woman's body, woman's decision"...but is this right? What if the Father wanted the child be be born and yet the mother aborted; does teh father have no right in determining the outcome? Woman's body; yes.....woman's baby; no....it is a shared life.

We have a tendency to equate a fetus that a dog or cat. That in the abscence of its ability to communicate for itself or the inability to interpret teh world as we do(b/c its yet to experience the world) that it less-than-human. Because there is a "distancing" from how WE interpret the world...we assume that a fetus has not done this thus unaware of the richs and joy that the world can bring(ills as well). So, that it can be aborted because it does not know what it is missing. This makes the decision all the more easier and brings comfort and relieve to those choosing to abort. When in reality, a fetus has experienced MUCH of the world through its mother. Its easy to treat an animal as less-than-human...even though it feels emotion, pain, stress, sadness. etc etc etc....just like we do. And its been proven that a fetus feels these emotions as well.

To the poster who said that abortion are ok if there are life compatibilty issues. I say shame on you. God breathed life into ALL of our lungs for a purpose. What right do we have to say that because of a congenital deformality that THAt life has nothing to offer. Or that THAT life will only suffer thus bringing no reason into this world. i truly believe(and I am a nurse and witnessed death MANY times over) that each of us has a purpose and that until our very last breathe we can influence another...put a mark on another's life.

I have seen this many times and been affected in such ways many more times.

Well, at the least people can get the benefit of filing joint.

Ruby:

And I presume your tax return was with full exemptions and dependent credits?

in my husband 2007 ITR he filed married jointly and claim our son as a beneficiary, as i remember it last year we submitted a w7 and notarized copies of my passport and my son's BC.

my references are Pub 519, Pub 501, and a phone call directly the the IRS non-resident department.

Now i could be read 501 a bit too finely and will review it again. But, there is no doubt that my wife can obtain an ITIN..simply by marriage to a USC; thus allowing a joint filing.

For a dependent:

Time spent for schooling, medical purpose, military, and a few others are all considered residential. Publicaton 519 is clear about that. If one has a child in a school in a foriegn country then this time is still considered residential in the US.

That is to maintain tax residency for someone who was already a resident but not for establishing residency for someone who has never seen the inside of the USA in the first place...

Please provide cite where you draw your conclusion.

the decision tree for resident alien status is pretty simple... (in Pub 519)

Were you a lawful permanent resident of the United States (had a “green card”) at any time during 2008? NO

Were you physically present in the United States on at least 31 days during 2008? NO

Then You are a nonresident alien for U.S. tax purposes.

Your wife is granted resident alien tax status by special election, as a spouse of a USC. Dependents do not get this special election nor do they get to ride the parental "coattail." No such thing as derivitive status, I am afraid.

My wife is not eligible to recieve a SSN until she arrives in the US...I called the SSA to verify this. So, since she is not eligible to recieve a SSN at this time, she can get an ITIN

my references are Pub 519, Pub 501, and a phone call directly the the IRS non-resident department.

Now i could be read 501 a bit too finely and will review it again. But, there is no doubt that my wife can obtain an ITIN..simply by marriage to a USC; thus allowing a joint filing.

For a dependent:

Time spent for schooling, medical purpose, military, and a few others are all considered residential. Publicaton 519 is clear about that. If one has a child in a school in a foriegn country then this time is still considered residential in the US.

That is to maintain tax residency for someone who was already a resident but not for establishing residency for someone who has never seen the inside of the USA in the first place...

Please provide cite where you draw your conclusion.

the decision tree for resident alien status is pretty simple... (in Pub 519)

Were you a lawful permanent resident of the United States (had a “green card”) at any time during 2008? NO

Were you physically present in the United States on at least 31 days during 2008? NO

Then You are a nonresident alien for U.S. tax purposes.

Your wife is granted resident alien tax status by special election, as a spouse of a USC. Dependents do not get this special election nor do they get to ride the parental "coattail." No such thing as derivitive status, I am afraid.