Brad and Vika

It would do any American a lot of good to see other parts of the world - and not just the third world bits. It's humbling.

I agree. As a cold war kid myself, and as a guy who did a hitch in the Marines during that period, I have to say that I was surprised at how the rest of the world looks compared to what I was taught. I found that true most places I have been.

Most people seem to be pretty happy where they are, and lots of them have zero interest in leaving there, and less in coming here.

To test my foto-posting prowess (ha), here is a foto of Mini-Bone, which I can't figure out how to rotate 90 degrees, but it's good for all of us to hear our neck vertebrae crack, ouch man. He's 20 months old now but was 5 months old in this foto, which remains my favorite of many good ones, gee man.

Good loking kid T.

Adoption by foreigners is viewed negatively because there have been high profile cases where Russian kids were adopted by American families and things went very wrong.

I think with the political situation now, dating/marrying foreigners is seen positively because there is more opportunity in Europe and the US.

Again, very interesting. Here, kids from Ukraine and Russia are said to be high risk. Meaning that there is a pretty high incidence of health or mental problems in the kids that are adopted out overseas. Not surprising that foreign adoption is viewed negatively in Russia either. It is no secret that many states here do a terrible job even fostering out American kids, let alone adopting.

About foreign marraige, I was unclear about something you posted. There is more opportunity for what in Europe exaclty? You could have meant marraige, happiness, careers (although that wouldn't make much sense).

Where's the +1,000 button?

After I forswore trying to date any more Americanas (on 1 April 2006, no fooling man), I tried to figure out, "What's next?" I first investigated a legitimate introduction agency dealing with Siberian babes, and even corresponded with the head honcho of that program, but I decided against pursuing that route because of distance and the language barrier. The Orient was also out, for the same reasons and the additional potential of scams. I then happened upon a discussion site (now defunct, sadly) in which the following thoughts were posted:

A reply to that was (with bolding-for-emphasis by me):This articulated most of what I'd been struggling with, and it prompted me to search in Latin America. The chief benefits were as follows: short distance (a flight to Ecuador is only about an hour longer than a flight to Seattle); similar time zones (most L.A. countries are never more than an hour different from my zone); a higher percentage of women who speak & write English, even if only at a basic level; the comparative ease of my picking up Spanish in comparison with Russian or an Eastern European language; and the availability of Hispanic culture here, so that whoever the eventual Mrs.-T-B.-to-be might be would not feel completely alien. It worked out, si man.

How many of the rest of us here felt the way that those Colombiana-discussing dudes felt, huh man?

Well put, as far as it goes. Before I met Vika, I had some of the same sort of experiences. After I started doing business in Eastern Europe, I dated some a few Russian speakers here in the US, and found them to have the same issues, although lesser, and they were younger. It is useful at times to recognize that I (and most 40+ year olds) have my own baggage too. The addage about all the "good ones" being married is true for men as well. When I added my baggage to my GF's baggage, it turned into a Winnebago that usually ran me over

Fortunately for most of us, the paradigm of a "good man" is a little different in other countries. Vika said that a good man is stable, kind, devoted to his family. He doesn't drink too much, doesn't screw around, and isn't ever violent - even when given ample reason to lose his temper. She never asked a question about my salary, how I live, what I drive, etc. Lots of questions about how I get along with my kids, and my brother's family. Do I respect my parents? How often do I talk to them? Probably some silly stuff too, about care of my shoes, nails, etc. Those answers trump big house, big money, and how my pupka looks in jeans (thank God ).

I've never heard anybody mention it. Opinions on Americans adopting Russian kids? Yes. Opinions on Russian "mail order brides"? Never been brought up.

I meant what do they think about marrying foriegners generally. What is the consensus on adoption?

I don't know anyone here who has tried this. I know people who have mentioned entering into a fake marriage to get to, say, Germany, but no one who has looked online for an American man. I know a couple of girls who went over on work/travel, fell in love, and immigrated, but it's received differently, I guess, when you're marrying someone in your general age group whom you met in real life.

I was referring to how my relatives have reacted to the fact that one of my cousins of sorts is currently in the CR-1 process with a RUB woman 20+ years younger than him. Everyone is happy for him because he is happy, but there is also some lingering fear about her intentions among males and females in family alike.

Interesting. What about your Russian friends opinion about this stuff? I met Vika in person also, but we are pretty far apart in age. Her family was more concerned about her being so far away though.

I just wonder if the average Russian thinks these relationships are GC scams, or human trafficking, or just another way to meet your second half?

Did you get your GC through marriage to your wife or through work?

And did you supply fake documents to the company to begin work? If the SSNs or alien registration don't match up there could be an employment or tax fraud issue. None of this will get your GC taken away though.

I can see how if you are planning to live in the U.S. permanently, and you already have a passport that lets you travel easily, naturalization might not be all that appealing. My boss is English, has been living in the U.S. for 20+ years, and doesn't plan to ever become a U.S. citizen (despite having a wife and children who are USCs). Whatever works.

I think this is exactly right. The decision to take US citizenship seems to be influenced not only by personal preference and circumstances, but by the utility of having a US passport. We balance property and tax issues in Ukraine against ease of travel and so forth. If my wife already had a UK or Canadian passport there migh be no need at all, since property rights, tax status, and the like have been worked out ages ago. Also, those passports (UK, Canada, and US) get you into most of the same places without hassle. So no great benefit perhaps to acquire a US passport. Many Ukrainians get US citizenship, and forget to tell Ukraine, so they keep their passports for Ukraine business (they have external and internal passports).

They either think that the American man wants to bring over a slave, or that the RUB woman is looking for an easy target so she can move to the US and then dump him, green card in hand.

I am not sure who the "they" is here, but from Gary's response I am guessing it means American women? What I wonder is what Russian/Ukrainian people think if they are not involved in the process. My Ukrainian family is a pretty limited sample, and i wonder if others are as open minded.

This is usually the point where I wash my hands of the whole situation and say, "You deal with it."

Good luck.

I don't know the words, but the tune sounds familiar

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Congrats...

It's strange to me how AOS works so diffrently for some people. We had no interview and it was approved in under 3 months. Others have gnashing of teeth, submitting evidence and long waits. (shrugs shoulders)...

Maybe it is the Kherson connection. We had no interview either

Moving to PI forum

Also, aren't we all "buying" our partners? We all pay a lot of money just to bring them here. I'm sure there's some pissed off person out there who views it as "buying".

Don't forget about all the pissed off USCs that want a refund

Congratulations! We also found congressional inquiries to be helpful. Those staffers have direct connections to USCIS liason managers that we common folk can't get to.

Buying a ticket that went through Moscow also would have been good because if she misses one flight, there'd be another one soon, probably. Not with the hourly frequency of the SPb<>Moscow shuttle, but quicker than waiting around for a flight to Kiev that might not even be a daily route. Also, Aeroflot has REALLY stepped up their game and is as good or better than as their Western counterparts. Food even on short haul flights, attentive flight attendants, comfy seats, good entertainment options.

We will keep our collective eye out next time, whenever that is. I think Vika did most of the searching this time, and the Aeroflot tickets were a few hundred more for us. MIL won't be coming back soon, and her dad complained that he was "going to die" before she returned this time, and upset MIL so much she wanted to leave early. He is fine, and FIL did a much better job than she expected keeping house, etc. She says she learned a good lesson, and won't be changing flights next time. I think we should still prepare though, by making sure she flies through Russia, or a country that has Russian speakers or will give her a transit visa overnight. I think that means Czech or Poland.

And Brad, you and Vika have your own now to bring joy in your home. You once told me the hardest thing was getting used to the care they give us. That is true. I always have something she made for lunch as she does not want me eating "horrible food".

Alla and I committed to each other, not to some vows that someone else made up and we think that is important. We committed to each other with our own promises we know we can keep. All I know is when I had a heart attack and woke up from surgery, I saw Alla's eyes looking directly into mine and all 4 boys in the room with me having come from all over the USA and world.

When I was no good to anyone in the world for anything, she and the boys were there. I don't forget that. No one should forget what they did to be together. We are not like normal families, we have a lot more to be thankful for. The quantum physicis alone boggle my mind and I cannot think of the fact that any one of 1 million things would have, could have, prevented me from ever meeting this wonderful woman...but they didn't happen and I feel like I won the lottery or something.

And Visa Journey was such a blessing. Heck, when I asked this Goddess to marry me I did not even know there WAS such a thing as a K-1 visa. Right after getting engaged I thought "Gee, I have to figure out how to get her here" I googled something and VJ popped up and I have been loyal ever since!

Again, best to all of you.

I altered the quote a bit, and put this up for consideration Hang in there! I posted the attached link over in General Immigration - thinking to encourage folks with issues going through their process. It seems to work here too.

Welcome aboard

brown bag

Congratulations. Always nice to hear about a relationship on here that is a long term success.

Uncle Darnell is some expert at expediting things.

Not THE Expert, just some expert

Thank you for your response, the question now is whether they will email or mail the bills. We're praying we will get the invoices by email, It's much faster!

Edited to answer:I only emailed the information on my choice of agent (To Sue) as I saw on one of the guides on Visajourney. I did it yesterday and got a response today.

Happy to hear you got a response, and I am sorry I don't understand the process you are going through better. It seems to me that theoretically you could appoint anybody your agent (although your SO makes more sense). Good thing Darnell was around with some knowledge.

Awww - you're making me feel broody for another baby thinking about a teeny tiny nine-week-old.

Hope you are all doing well and managing to get some sleep every now and then. I took all the night shifts for my little one (now 2 years old) as my husband has a huge commute and a really long work day. I went 18 months without sleeping for more than 4 hours at a time. (She's not a sleeper)

But now those seem like the easy days - terrible twos are truly terrible! But I know I am going to miss these days soon enough too.

Now I look back at the 'frustrating' visa days and think "wow - all that sleep and personal time I was getting back then" Happy days!

I think the visa process is a little bit like childbirth - once you're through it you forget how bad it was

I tell my wife the same thing! All the stuff (well, most) that she is struggling with now will seem like the good old days in a few years. Thanks!

Thanks Darnell, for clarifying a bit. I have a question after reading your last. What is the agent for, if the petitioner wants the bill and to send all documents themselves?

I am not very familiar with the expedite process, but from your timeline, it looks like they are expecting the AOS forms and fees - through the agent you appointed. It looks like the IV bill should be on the way to your agent.

Take a look at the flow chart here NVC flow chart You should be on the right side of the chart, based on your post.

Because you are acting through an agent, you may not receive the bill or notice of same. Check with the agent, or call NVC about the IV bill if you are at that point. I am not sure who will have information for you, but I might start there. Members that have gone this route, please correct me if necessary.

Edited to ask, did you email the 3032, or just information on your choice of agent? If you did not send the form, that could be the hold up.

Are there any flights to Ukraine that don't go through Western Europe? I now absolutely refuse to do any route that isn't SPb>Moscow>New York because I was sick of getting stuck overnight in Europe.

I don't know, but would have jumped at a flight through Moscow. I thought about Prague too, as there would at least be Russian speakers there. No dice, because the ticket was Lufthanza. Lesson learned there.

MIL is back home. It took 5 days, 4 reticketings, and 2 trips to the airport. The Lufthanza strike, flight delays and cancelations, and weather problems all figured in. Yesterday we waited at the airport for hours until her flight to Newark finally left.

With every change, there was an intervening event that nullified it. Word to the wise, for those of you bringing relatives. Because she had no visa for any country but the US, she could not overnight anywhere if there was a delay en route. Because she spoke little English, she would have been unable to work out issues with tickets either. For example, one change rescheduled her to fly through Heathrow on BA. The flight to Germany from there was delayed, and we were told "don't worry, her ticket will be sorted when she gets to England". I asked how that would happen, as she cannot communicate in English - no answer, just another rebooking on Lufthanza the next day.

The funny thing is, when she got to Kiev she was afraid during the taxi ride from the airport. The driving scared her, and the condition of the taxi was terrible, she told Vika . Now she is frustrated at the length of time it will take by train to get home to Kherson. FOur years ago she told Vika that a drivers license wasn't necessary.