Tunji&Toyin

I agree with what everyone has said, just be honest. I was only in Nigeria for three weeks. So we couldn't do a honeymoon in that short time. It should go fine, as long as all of your paper work was legit and handled correctly, I believe you will be dancing and celebrating with us all!

Keep positive, it will all be done very soon!

Good luck, I know you will return with wonderful news!

First my sincerest condolences, I know we all have great hopes that a denial will not happen in our own cases or any other case. May God see your journey through.

Second, please don't try to bring him hear on a visitors visa, that will be the biggest mistake. If you want to stay in India a while, get married and do the direct filing through the consulate. If you have to return, then go and get married in India, and start the CR-1 process. Its potentially another year apart, but if you have that love for him, just keep steadfast in the process.

Again, may God see you through your journey.

Don't cut: Why bother???

No: My half brother does it, it annoys me to no end!

The Middle: Gotta get to the juicy stuff... keep your minds out of the gutter ;-)

Obama, Obama, Gore :-)

Wow, can't believe that much misinformation is given. I have found the people not to be very informed at all. Even when I went into the San Bernardino office, I was so fustrated when I was going to file my I-130 because the guy was an idiot and didn't know more than what I have already read. I took it upon myself to be as honest, forthworth, and made sure my I's were dotted and my T's were crossed. I was not going to use an attorney, because I am well read. But I can understand some things can be abstract in each and every person situation.

The whole process has given me a great interest in immigration matters as a whole. I would use the fine resources here on this website than speaking to the customer service people, because they are just there for a pay check.

When I told my wife this story, she informed me that I shouldn't be telling my father's family any information. I am hoping that her process goes smoothly and she will be joining me next month by the grace of God... I will be keeping you all informed. :-)

Its very interesting from the female point of view. As a man, it is what we are supposed to do. The money spent on the process is making a dent in my pockets, but its not extremely harmful. I don't have many other obligations, other than myself.

I think it really comes down to is this. When you love that person, male or female, the money you spend on this process is insignificant. The love that the two of you share will conquer all in the end. There is always that small doubt in your mind that what if I get duped. For a woman to take on all the fees, understand that that if your SO is in an African country, he will not have the money, nor will he make the money in two, three, or four years. That is why some of these women foot the bill. The sad part is that sometimes, once these men get to this country, they forget all of the hardwork that you have done, and once they get their green card they are out like it was yesterday. So if you are struggling with the thought of ponying up the money to bring him over here, apparently the love or so called love was not strong enough. Which to me is OK, and I would not second guess you or judge you on that matter.

Its nice to hear it from the other side. If I was a woman, I would think about the whole process long and hard, before committing to something like this. I have some old traditional views, but seeing how my mom held it down, I want a wife who can do the same, hold a job, be a mother, wife, friend, lover, sister to my brothers. I know my wife can and will do it. As a woman, I think you would want a man who could hold it down, and be a strong provider, loving, caring, understanding amongst other desired qualities and characteristics.

My whole process has gone by quickly, I guess, because I have so many things going on. I am glad it is almost over, and the next chapter in my life will begin.

I hope that your journeys whether at the end or just beginning goes smoothly without a hitch.

Hello Everyone,

Sly received the visa on Sept 4th, 2008. Yea!!!!!!!!! He will be here next month. I am truly appreciative to you all who assisted us along the way. This is a very informative and helpful site. Again thank you all.

Health and Wellness Always

May your life be filled with vibrant colors..

Don't forget about us.

Tunji,

Your just the person that I need to communicate with. I have a very young first born Nigerian

son. Sounds like your a American born Nigerian. Am I correct?

Yes, I am a first generation.

Not until I visited Nigeria, and seen how even family will "dupe" you. Did I understand about not receiving payment, many people not being honorable. Is it everybody? No. But it extends throughout.

Example.

My wife is a nurse, and she is working with one lady. Only the two of them are working. She goes and checks her purse during the shift. She finds that her money is missing. She has to tell the head staff person that the lady she was working with stole the money. Eventually they told the girl, she would no longer have a job if she didn't pay my wife back the money. Eventually a week or so later, the money was paid back.

Example.

My mom has been sending money home to complete her house, she was thinking she was going to retire there. Unfortunately, my uncle (my dads brother), has been taking the money and has not used a dime of it to complete the home. When I went home to go and see it. There were no windows, the plumbing had not been finished, and it looked like nearly $20,000 more needed to be put into the home.

Many people there are going through financial problems, those that don't have the mindset to go and work hard for it, are trying to dupe, steal, and whatever to get it. Others, when they do the work, sometimes they don't get immediately paid.

My wife completed her nursing program there, I asked her to make sure that she got some photos. I didn't know that the photos were going to cost $3000 naira. I asked if she was sure. She said yes she was sure. I was like wow. Anyhow, I wasn't going to send $30 dollars home for nothing. So at the beginning of the month, I sent my wife her monthly allowance and paid for the photos she took at her graduation. Over there, they know the money will eventually come. So they don't stress you out, like they do over here if the money is late.

I know a lot of Nigerian-Americans youths that I grow up with need to experience it all in full, in someways, it provides you with a great deal of perspective and admiration of both countries.

Best of luck, sorry for the inconvenience.

Welcome Michelle and Tunji !!!!

Michelle u asked what's it like once your alien spouse arrives ? Well I'd like to first ask u what it was like once you went to Nigeria and how long did it take u too adjust; think of that then apply that too your husband.

I know Victor had little problems with adjusting, he had mastered the bus system the first few days to my. astonishment. The thing is Michelle is that alot of opportunist use americans and marriage as a way to gain american benefits. My ex-husband did that exact thing. So it's kinda hard to tell u what it'll be like for you once your husband arrives because it will depend on alot of factors.

Just as you adjusted to Nigeria, your fiance will adjust, and the love you enjoy now should not change.

Everytime I read your timeline, I sigh. Its so sad. I hope moving forward that everything is well.

Yes, my wife is working as a nurse. She has finished the training, but continues to work for the doctor and is doing it for free.

I have heard it to be very common, especially when your working for the government.

Congrats, may God bless the rest of your journey called life. :-)

Keep the receipts that you have sent money to her. She should also keep the receipts that you she has received money from you.

Sorry in the first post that is for cheap flights to Africa.

But you could try this site for flights leaving Africa to New York. Now I don't know but it says taxes included $USD 1283.80 http://fly.emirates.com/IBE/SearchResult.aspx (you can change the search of course).. Hope it helps, if not I tried.

I think I will pony up, pay a lil more, and have her fly directly into the Atlanta. I just don't want any goof ups. I will take the week off, and go and meet her there in Atlanta.

I just want to add that instead of suspecting the possibility of 'fraud' right off the bat, it is also possible that she is having second thoughts and doubts about the relationship herself and doesn't know how to address it with you. She too may be having concerns about if she really wants to proceed or not. Distance can do that to people. If you can afford it, you may want to take a visit back and see each other face to face before you decide to do something so drastic as to pull your petition. You will have a better idea then if she is getting cold feet, if you are getting cold feet or if indeed there is more to it than that. Good luck.

I absolutely agree with Kathryn... her points are very valid, go back and see her one more time!

Congrats!!! May your journey be soon over!

Zee you rock!!! Thank you very much for your responses.

Hi, Guys

Wondering, living in a world where couples have difficult to deal with distant, individuality and long -term relationships... Where people are unable to accept the other´s needs of individuality and, why not, their own space and time to themselves... what make us, who are able to face and fight for this Visa journey, wait so long and believe that after the end of all of it, IT WILL WORKOUT ?

Another questions, my relationship is lasting for over 5 years, 3 years living apart. During this "apart" life... How do you live? do u have a normal life working, going to school... living day by day without thinking in future.... without planning.... avoiding dream too much.... How is the routine for all of you?

In my case, I spend 3 years taking my life normally in Brazil... grabbing opportunities like jobs, school educations,.. working out...exploring new things... but I never felt like going out to clubs, short or long tripps with friends... It was crazy but easy, because I focused on my job and education. My planns were straightly to business and academical schedules and national and international trips with my husband who I saw every other month, for maximum of 10 days each.

Basically, I gave up on pressuring my husband full time attention... his full time space... I honestly set his mind free, projecting a day where, after getting done with my dreams, we could be ready to be together for life, with no fear.

And you? How is to deal with this unusual relationship or lifestyle?

Aryadne

- I work full time. I know my life will change some, because she will be going to school here, and I am going to be taking some post graduate classes. I always think about the future, and always have future plans. It has only been a year for me, so my journey may not be as extended as most. I've never been the type to be out there very much, so for me, my life hasn't changed much. I speak to her on the phone, and my international calling bill is as much as my cell phone bill, yuck. But it is all worth it. May god make your journey end soon and for the both of you to live life together in happiness.

We have our interview on the 16th of October. I have a few questions please.

1. How important are e-mails? She doens't like to communicate by e-mail and a majority of our conversations have been through the phone, will this be an issue?

2. Does anyone know if it cheaper and better to pay for a ticket in cash in Nigeria, or for me to buy it online through a credit card on her behalf? What do you find as the going rate? $1500???

3. Which airline flies directly into New York?

Thanks for your responses in advance.

I found this topic to be very useful. I think I am just going to fly my wife straight into Atlanta.

Interview date Oct 16... I want to have a heartache, I can't believe it is so soon. I had to call twice, and listen to it with my mother to make sure I heard it right.