Girona40

I'm afraid I don't have any recommendations but I just wanted to say I STILL can't believe this is going on.

MAYBE what she meant on the message was that they need the 'approved' (aka 'he's getting his LPR') paperwork in order to update the formerly 'not approved' paperwork. Did that make sense?

Can you not call her back and get a better explanation? Why would she say that they are issuing the LPR if they actually aren't? (Then again that can be a tough question to answer when involving a US govt. agency! LOL)

We have just spoken with an attorney, who comes highly recommended, and I have a lot of faith in him. He is in the same mind that K-2's don't age out and has been practising law for over 30 years.

At least now, my anxiety is a little lessened knowing we have someone helping who is on our side.

We will be contacting the lady in Vermont again tomorrow, to see is we can ascertain exactly what is going on. Apparently, the I-485 Denial Notice hasn't been processed yet. The letter we received from the USCIS via the Senator's Office, said he was denied on the 17th January, but it appears this has not been fully processed yet!

God knows, I am getting tired of all this.

Thanks everyone - sorry to be such a pain!

Glenys

I am sorry, but I put this post on the K-1 visa section - just didn't realise what I was doing.

So, if you have read this before, sorry for being so boring!

As most of you know, we have been through hell for the last three years, trying to get the USCIS to adjust my son to LPR status. They said that he may have "aged-out" back in May of 2003 and recently Vermont requested the file and said that they were going to sort it out for us, that he wasn't an "age-out" according to the regulations.

They had the file - called me and said that he could be linked somehow to my I-751 and they could issue him a Green Card that way. Then we heard that the Washington DC office had DECLINED his I-485 application, on the 17th January 2006. We only found out via a letter to our senator - have still not received the official Denial Notice and, I understand, we only have 30 days from the denial to appeal. How can we appeal, when we don't have the Notice and don't know under what section of the INA they are declining him - and time is fast running out. We have to find an attorney who will act for us - not as easy as it sounds, since very few attorneys know much about K-2's adjustment and the requirements. It is not as clear-cut as many seem to think. There is no statute that says they have to adjust by the age of 21, only that they enter prior to the age of 21, legally, and that the K-1 marries within the 90 days and that they are under 21 when the APPLY to adjust. He met all this criteria.

Anyway, Vermont told me it was a "good thing" that DC declined him, that is what they requested the District Office do, so that they could issue him a GC via the I-751 route. We were all totally confused about this, but trusted that they knew what they were doing.

Today I get home and there is a message on the ansafone saying "Washington DC have requested your (my) file, we will be issuing your LPR card (having removed the conditions) and will send the file to DC. "They need it to RESOLVE the I-485 issue, I guess." is all she really said.

Now, I have no idea what the hell is going on - I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is not good. No feedback we have had from the DC office, regarding my son's situation, has been good!

If they don't get the file for a couple of weeks, at least, and the 30 days will have run out by then for the appeal - what are we supposed to do. Are we now sitting, waiting, for the knock on the door, or what?

I don't understand how DC can "resolve" the I-485 situation, if they have already denied him. What on earth are they playing at?

Anyone have any ideas, or know of a GOOD immigration attorney we may seek help from?

I am just really sick of it now - I can't tell you how desperate this has made us all feel and how unfairly we have been treated by the USCIS. They could just have issued a nunc-pro-tunc approval of this case - bearing in mind he followed all the rules and the problem all arose because they took so darn long to process his application.

He has an approved I-130, but there is an 8 year wait for immigrant visa availability - I don't know where he stands with that, as far as removal from the US is concerned.

Anyone know of a GOOD attorney. We have been totally screwed by the USCIS and their promises have all been false!

We need to find a lawyer - quickly - who will help us. My son's I-485 application has been denied and, although VSC told us they could work round that by issuing him a GC due to him being linked to my I-751 application.

Basically, they told me that since he was on my I-751 and he met all the necessary requirements to adjust, but three years later they still haven't adjudicated his case, they could get his card issued and sent out. Now today they tell me they can't. Washington DC have declined him, but we haven't received the Denial Notice yet - we heard via our senator's office.

Please, if any of you know of anyone that can help - let me know.

Glenys

The OP did not state how old her child was. My daughter was not of legal age to work in the US when she was issued her EAD, but was within the year, but it aided us in getting her SSN quickly.

I don't know what the situation is with children younger than mine.

You don't need a Green Card to get a SSN.

My son is a K-2 entrant and has still not got his GC - in fact they just denied him last week! He was issued his first EAD back in 2003 and we went straight to the SS Office and they issued him a card.

Oh, and my 13 year old daughter was issued her SSN when she got her EAD too. She needed it to register her for school in VA and there was no problem getting it issued - even though at that time she didn't have a GC either.

As most of you know, we have been through hell for the last three years, trying to get the USCIS to adjust my son to LPR status. They said that he may have "aged-out" back in May of 2003 and recently Vermont requested the file and said that they were going to sort it out for us, that he wasn't an "age-out" according to the regulations.

They had the file - called me and said that he could be linked somehow to my I-751 and they could issue him a Green Card that way. Then we heard that the Washington DC office had DECLINED his I-485 application, on the 17th January 2006. We only found out via a letter to our senator - have still not received the official Denial Notice and, I understand, we only have 30 days from the denial to appeal. How can we appeal, when we don't have the Notice and don't know under what section of the INA they are declining him - and time is fast running out. We have to find an attorney who will act for us - not as easy as it sounds, since very few attorneys know much about K-2's adjustment and the requirements. It is not as clear-cut as many seem to think. There is no statute that says they have to adjust by the age of 21, only that they enter prior to the age of 21, legally, and that the K-1 marries within the 90 days and that they are under 21 when the APPLY to adjust. He met all this criteria.

Anyway, Vermont told me it was a "good thing" that DC declined him, that is what they requested the District Office do, so that they could issue him a GC via the I-751 route. We were all totally confused about this, but trusted that they knew what they were doing.

Today I get home and there is a message on the ansafone saying "Washington DC have requested your (my) file, we will be issuing your LPR card (having removed the conditions) and will send the file to DC. "They need it to RESOLVE the I-485 issue, I guess." is all she really said.

Now, I have no idea what the hell is going on - I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is not good. No feedback we have had from the DC office, regarding my son's situation, has been good!

If they don't get the file for a couple of weeks, at least, and the 30 days will have run out by then for the appeal - what are we supposed to do. Are we now sitting, waiting, for the knock on the door, or what?

I don't understand how DC can "resolve" the I-485 situation, if they have already denied him. What on earth are they playing at?

Anyone have any ideas, or know of a GOOD immigration attorney we may seek help from?

I am just really sick of it now - I can't tell you how desperate this has made us all feel and how unfairly we have been treated by the USCIS. They could just have issued a nunc-pro-tunc approval of this case - bearing in mind he followed all the rules and the problem all arose because they took so darn long to process his application.

He has an approved I-130, but there is an 8 year wait for immigrant visa availability - I don't know where he stands with that, as far as removal from the US is concerned.

Myself and my daughter have both been granted LPR here. Do they seriously think that we are going to stay without my son. This family has been through so much together, we are not about to have it scattered to the four corners of the earth now.

I thought we could get through this, but I can't see how any more and am rapidly losing faith. God, I just want to throw up!

I am so sorry, Kezzie. We too have a spaniel and I can't express either how we would feel if anything happened to him. But knowing that you gave Sally a good life, that you had intended for her to join you even though she was getting on in years, should make you realise that you did all you could for her. Life can be very cruel sometimes, but I am sure that Sally would not have wanted you to be so sad. Remember the good times and that you probably gave her as much happiness as she brought you.

ALABAMA:

Shari (& British hubby, Keith) - Birmingham, Alabama

Miranda and James (another future British hubby!) - Huntsville, Alabama

Welshcookie - Mobile, Alabama (eventually)

ARKANSAS:

SpriteyStace (Stacy & Paul) - Stuttgart, Arkansas

CALIFORNIA:

Ladybutterfly444 - San Diego, California

lynzm22 (lynsey and Jason)- Lancaster, California

Daisy - hubby is north of Palmdale, California

Perfect - South Orange County, CA

ddchucksgirl - northwest Lost Angeles, CA

robinklake - Myself and UK fiance are in sunny Santa Monica, CA!

Purple Hibiscus - Huntington Beach, CA.

COLORADO:

Ladybird216 - Western Colorado

Boiler - Boulder County, Colorado

CONNECTICUT:

Jayke (and hopefully within the next 3 weeks her British hubby) - Connecticut

Bradfordplip - Time split between SE Michigan & NE Connecticut

nickels&dimes - Connecticut (Nickels=Sheril UKC & Scott USC)

FLORIDA:

Kerry - Central Florida

Munchkins (Val and Alan ) - Jacksonville Florida -to be with daughter and family

atothelkini (Alan, N.Ireland) - Tallahassee, Florida

missyandneil - Orlando, Florida

Kate, Josh & bump - Tallahassee

GEORGIA:

Crazy Brit - Covington, Georgia

Matti_n_Kelli: Hiram, Georgia

IDAHO:

MeandMyGeordie - Sher (USC) & Steve (Newcastle upon Tyne) South Central

Idaho, Twin Falls

ILLINOIS:

pj1959us (hubby David)---central Illinois

Luv2teach77 (And her handsome british Husband ) - Trenton, Southwest Illinois

(Near Missouri border)

JJM8081(British fiance Joe)--Chicago suburbs

poppy33usa - just on the illinois side of the illinois/missouri border in the st louis metro area

jpkeswim - Southwest, Illinois near St. Louis Missouri

Crisscat - (Sharri & Neil ) Southern IL 65 miles southeast of St Louis MO and not far from alot of you here in IL LOL

Yorkie - Chicago, Illinois

Frances (Yorkshire hubster, VJ username falcozappa) - Chicago

INDIANA:

Annelizabeth - Southern Indiana

Andy(uk) Patricia - Near Indy, Indiana

Baileyj - Southwest Indiana

KENTUCKY:

Itsmeitsmeitsree! (Billy and Becky) - Lexington, Kentucky

MAINE:

clmarsh (Christina & Chris): Portland, Maine

MARYLAND:

Terry & Jeannine.... Towson, Maryland

MASSACHUETTS:

matanddanni-Southampton,MA

MICHIGAN:

Bradfordplip - Time split between SE Michigan & NE Connecticut

euro (Amanda) & Mark(USC)..Brownstown (near Detroit)

sanctifyer - somewhere near detroit in mid 2006

badbabe113 - Rockwood Michigan (near detroit)

David(alias Scotty)Scotland to Livingstone County to be with Bess

lizaanne (USC) & Simon (Brit) - Detroit area -one of these days, if this process ever ends

Charlie76 - Michigan, Detroit area

mary&tom - Southeastern Michigan

Alison and Scott - Otsego in Plainwell, Michigan

MINNESOTA:

Chrissy25 - Southern Minnesota

britsngrits - Twin Cities of MN - Paul-Peterborough

JayJay - Minnesota Lake, near Mankato about 2 and a half hours away from the twin cities

MISSOURI:

DaniChristine - Dani (USA) and Anthony (Northern Ireland)

MONTANA:

wherezdabearz - John (USA) and Alison (UK) hope to be living together in Missoula (that's where da bearz are...) from end of Jan 2006

techgirl - Terry (USA) and Davo (UK)- Flathead Lake (western MT)

NEW JERSEY:

Gemma12nEl - Bergen County New Jersey

VisagirlNJ - My fiance will be moving to Hudson County, NJ in APril

NEW YORK:

Louandmikek3 - Long Island, New York (Louise, UK and Mike, US)

DavidUK- Manhattan, New York

Gwen75 - Manhattan, New York

Shakysgirl- Russell (UK) and Patricia (US)- upstate NY

Donna(dmd01708) Oneida County, Upstate New York

Estella76 - Marie (US) and Adam (UK) - Queens, NY

Peachbythebeach - Me (US) Hubby (UK) - Long Island

NORTH CAROLINA:

Jo1973 - Durham, North Carolina

saturn5man (Neil) - Near Raleigh, North Carolina

Jaylen Brit(UK) and LenJayUS (US) - Lenior, North Carolina (from this year)

OHIO:

TenderCats (hubby) - Ohio

Widge - NE Ohio

Helen - Columbus OH

OKLAHOMA:

Sukie175 (Sarah) - Gage, NW OK (near Woodward)

OREGON:

Pam & Dave, Portland OR

ZZZZZZ (aka Pam & Dave) Portland OR/ Southminster UK

blandas - Move from Loughborough (just south of Nottingham) to Oregon.

PENNSYLVANIA:

Broma25 - Bucks County, Pennsylvania

Britjohn- Delaware County, Pennsylvania (near Delaware border)

Pumpkinsnook - Berks Co, Pennsylvania (arriving 17th August - 13 days and

counting!)

Antone and Lyanthya - Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Abby(PAX) and Ewen - Lackawanna County, Pennsylvania (likely moving to NYC, NY in the summer of 06)

SOUTH CAROLINA:

zenaelarabi - (Oxfordshire to Columbia SC)

pink_cloud-Charleston, South Carolina

TENNESSEE:

govols- Tennessee

TracyTN (and future hubby ChasUK) - Nashville, TN

TEXAS:

Geordieluvr (aka Andria and her Geordie Peter) - Richardson, Texas

medicjeff (wife Jane from the UK) Austin, Texas

silent whispers - San Antonio, Texas

tamarae (Shawna & Ciaran from the UK, arriving soon) - Lubbock, TX

UTAH:

HuffyTheSlayer - Salt Lake City, UT

VERMONT:

Lou - Central Vermont

VIRGINIA:

naiku - Northern Virginia (whenver this process is finished)

mijkij (also NoVA)

Litlemo (aka Ally - Geordie,,, Greg - USC)

MrsBeer:30- N.Virginia

WASHINGTON:

arwensun1965 - Kent, WA

samantha_lou - Vancouver, WA

Alana (US) & Ewan (Scotland) in Des Moines, Washington......

torpedo_bob, Camas,Washington

WEST VIRGINIA:

Margyw- West Virginia

rebeccajo (and robertwesley - Wes) irishman & southern gal in West Virginia

Girona40 - Curt (USC) and Glenys, Michael and Sarah (UK)

WISCONSIN:

Michelle(USC)andCraig(England)...northern Wisconsin...border of UP of Michigan

Badgerbabe - Green Bay, Wisconsin

SteveLaura/LauraSteve - from London, UK to Milwaukee, WI

Moonlite-just north of Milwaukee

AllSerene-near Milwaukee I think?

Mellie(and Scott)-near Milwaukee

Try finding Vegetarian Suet! Then ask for "swede" in the vegetable section of any supermarket and they look at you as if you are mad!

Where on earth did the name Rutabega (probably spelled wrong) come from??? lol

I voted NO because I feel that they charge enough in fees as it is, and in fees a lot of the time that they really shouldn't have (just because they can't get paperwork processed in time, many have to apply for additional EAD's, AP, etc).

This is a "service" for which we are already paying and getting the documents to us should be part of that "service".

I'd pay an arm and a leg...and would pay two arms and two legs for a USCIS officer to drive to my house and hand deliver our mail

An arm and a leg is a bit much. I'd give a liver though, don't we have two of those and only really need one?

If you have two livers you could make yourself a small fortune! No........we only have one! Mind you... (today's piece of useless information) you can have 90% of your liver removed and it will regenerate itself, so you could give the USCIS a percentage of it!!! lol

It is always horrible saying goodbye to someone you love. But, once you get the interview out of the way, you can then make arrangements to be together.............FOREVER! How great does that sound?

I know how you feel, I wouldn't have done it either. I like to see them flying around the house - my sister had a budgie which used to sit on the curtain rail in the evening and watch t.v.

But, apparently, clipping a wing is not painful to the bird, if done correctly - it is just snipping two feathers. It's like cutting your hair. It just stops the bird being able to fly any distance - they can still flap around the house a little, just not fly as well as it would with them.

There are laws governing what you can and can't do to animals in some countries. In the UK for instance it is illegal to de-claw and de-bark cats and dogs. It is classed as animal cruelty and I strongly believe it it.

When a cat is de-clawed, it is not just a case of pulling the nail out, they actually remove the last joint of the digit, effectively removing the end of the finger.

My son, who works in a vets, was horrified when someone brought in two Rough Collies to have their vocal chords torn out! He could not believe that it was allowed in this country and he actually left his job because of it! Part of a dog's charachter is their bark, or their voice, and it is half the reason people get dogs - to bark when someone is approaching their property or entering their home. Why on earth would someone do this to an animal, I can't understand.

I do liken animals to children - although some people feel that pets are just disposable commodities. Do we remove or children's fingers when they touch something, or break something, they shouldn't? Do we have their vocal chords removed when they answer back?

To me, if you don't want the problems that may come with pets - don't have them!

The Ombudsman!!! hahahahahaha! Oh pleeeeeeze! We have been in e-mail correspondence with the Ombudsman's office for two years. They have done diddly squat! Good Luck!

I'd go in person, if you live that near. It is easier for them to just tell you to call back in 30 days on the phone - but you can ask further questions, like where it is now, if you are right in front of them.

Congratulations! You may get to take her home for your anniversary yet. Sounds like a new recruit interviewed you and just needs a supervisor to sign-off on it! It won't take long and you'll have your Approval Notice in your hand in no time.

Hmmm...I'm with AgentSmith. No complaints.

Wish we'd had a nicer breakfast the morning after our wedding. We went to Golden Corral.....bleh!

Well, Rebecca, you certainly went "up-market" compared to us - we all went to Denny's......hahahaha!

in the cabin

..

You take an animal in the cabin with you on a flight??

Karen....I agree....I would be distraught if my dog suffered in any way on a long flight....I just didn't want to take that chance.

Just curious as to why you can't bring your Jack Russell with you? There are so few restrictions to bring a pet to the USA, I find it hard to believe that so many of you are leaving your animals behind.

10 is not old in "kitty years' at all. I have had cats that have lived over twice that long. I have moved house several times and my last cat moved to a different location every few years with no problem at all. Oh, and de-clawing an animal is a totally unecessary mutilation of an animal. That is just my feeling on it. Cats are meant to have claws, they are used for defense and also for catching prey and climbing. It is effectively removing the ends of their fingers - it really isn't nice.

Many animals, if you speak with your vet, are more than capable of dealing with a flight to the USA - I brought my dog, who was 7 at the time, and a chinchilla (and they are considered quite delicate). They can travel in the cabin with you, on certain airlines. I have been on many flights over the years where dogs are transported in the cabin of a plane. Only recently, I was on a flight and this woman had a dog in a carrier beneath her seat. The carrier was far too small, but they still let her on with it. Personally, I would like to have seen her charged for a decent-sized carrier before she were allowed to board the dog. The animal section of the Cargo department were wonderful with my dog, Sam. He was treated so well and they walked him after he had been checked in, made sure he was comfortable and didn't board him until the very last minute, to keep the time he was on the plane to a minimum. When he got off the other end, he was absolutely fine - didn't phase him at all. Now, if we were talking about a smaller dog, I would have had them in the cabin with me, but Sam is a medium-sized dog.

Some people, who are concerned that their animals will get stressed on the flight, can take their animals to the vet's first and get them a mild sedative, but to be honest, they often don't need them.

My son is a Vet Tech. and his dog means everything to him, he would not have come here if the dog didn't come.

I know that some airlines charge quite a bit to take animals, but they are taken good care of and I didn't think it was that exhorbitant. I think the cost of the flight for the dog and chinchilla. combined, was about the same as I paid for my daughter's ticket.

I have read this thread, from the beginning, but have not responded to it until now - for two reasons, really.

1. I don't want to appear as if I am taking sides and 2. I don't want you to think I am making light of the issues. So, please don't take anything I say the wrong way - I just want to share a few of my feelings with you and Craig.

Firstly, Craig, I know EXACTLY how it feels to be in your situation. I have a boy, Steven, who is 17 now but was 13 when I moved to the US. It broke my heart to leave him, but that very difficult decision was one that I had to make if I was to have any life of my own. I had been a single parent for 4 years and it was hard, very hard, not to have the emotional support of a husband, nor the financial freedom to do half the things I would have liked to with the children. Steven is a TWIN - his sister is here with me in the US. You can't imagine how heart-wrenching it was to take only one to the other side of the world. But, my husband Curt, and I sat the children down and explained that we loved each other and wanted to be together and that we would be a family one way or the other. We gave them the choice of whether to come to the US to live or remain in the UK. We told them that if either of them didn't want me to leave to live in the US, I wouldn't. Steven had made his decision, about 12 months prior to us even starting the visa applications, to remain in the UK with his father and he said he wouldn't have any objection to us moving to the US. He was happy with his Dad.

Sarah, his twin sister, is very strong, very mature - as most British children are, compared to their US counterparts. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but it is true. I have lived and worked with American's for about 8 years now and just find that British kids are more mature. Sarah, being only 17, often remarks at how "childish" some of her friends at University are, and their age is usually around 20. When we left England I have never seen her cry so much, ever. She was upset at leaving her friends, the only life she had ever known and the sandy beaches and rugged cliffs of the place she called home, where she felt safe, loved and very much a part of the community. She was putting her trust in me to bring her to a man she hardly knew, to a country she had only visited once before, to a life she knew nothing about. The differences are collosal - I don't care what anyone else says, the priorities of Americans and British people are not the same. The culture is not the same. Sarah tried so hard at school, to make friends, to do well in her studies, to do what she could to fit in. She would come home and cry her heart out. I would hold her and tell her it would get better and it would all be done with by the time Curt got home from work. He didn't see how distressed she was and how upset it was making me.

Michael, her older brother, who was 20 decided that he wanted to join us in the US. He was struggling on his own and missed his family, although he had originally thought he could cope on his own, he really missed the closeness, the safety net, of having family close by. He joined us nine months after we arrived and it certainly made life easier for Sarah, having one of her brothers with her. The problems we have had with his immigration has been beyond belief - as most of you already know, so I won't dwell on that. But Michael has had days when he has asked for a plane ticket home - but he is fine now and, typically, now that he is settled they don't want to let him stay!

Steven has been to visit three times now. He came for Christmas last year and spent a few weeks here the first Summer we arrived and then spent 3 months here last Summer. He loved to come and would brag to all his friends when he went home about what he did during the holidays, when they were all bored to tears, just hanging around doing nothing much because they have little money to do stuff. He would tell them how he visited his Mum and brother and sister in The States and how all the skateboarding stuff was so cheap!! He got a new skateboard every trip and would always come with an empty suitcase and return with a full one. But he was always happy to go home, because he loved to come visit but loved to go home to tell his friends all about it! I would cry for several hours after he left to go home, but I guess I had the other two to help get over that and they would say "you'll see him again, soon", even though I didn't think it was soon enough.

I have been blessed with the most understanding husband ever! He knows and appreciates that I gave up so much to be here with him - in hindsight we both now realise it would have been easier for him to come to the UK. You have to bear in mind that we have been through more than most here, when it comes to the immigration process, it has been hell. The only reason I did give up so much to come here was because Curt had not long lost his father and his mother and sister are here and he is a typical "mountain man", loves hunting, the great outdoors. It's not quite the same in England! But he has been a rock - for all of us. When we have been upset, homesick, angry, dispairing at the unfairness of the immigration system - how those that do not follow the "rules" are treated better than those that do - the way we have sometimes felt the US Government have misled us and how we have assets that would buy us an apartment in the UK now, rather than the beautiful cottage by the sea we used to live in. He has listened, tried to understand (but in all fairness, how could he.....really?) and more than anything he has always been there, wanting what is best for us not what is best for him, and it is thanks to his behaviour, constantly reminding me why I fell in love with him in the first place, because he is so steadfast, that we have all got through this and are still here. He knows what we gave up, he knows how close a family we are and how hard things have been to us, how alien the culture is to us here and how I have not gone home in over 4 years, for fear of not wanting to return.

It is hard, Michelle, to always be that rock for someone. You have mentioned through this thread, I lost count how many times, that you love Craig. But what is love? My sister, who died a several years ago in my arms, told me that "Love is wanting for someone all you would want for yourself" and it took a while for me to realise exactly what she meant. You say you are not prepared to give up what you have here, your family, your home or lifestyle, due to the uncertainty of your relationship. Craig gave up all that, and more, and I am sure he was as uncertain what the outcome would be. He is finding the pain of leaving everything familiar to him behind to start a new life, because he loves you. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you leave your son behind just so you can be with that person? It is hard to be that person's rock, I know. But you are all that Craig has here, that is familiar to him. He yearns for the familiar things, that bring comfort when you are feeling sad, but they aren't within reach. It is such a hard situation and I am not very good at putting my thoughts into words, so excuse me for that.

I feel that it is not just Craig that needs to go home for a visit. I think that you all need to go, together. I know that Corey is only young, but he will grow up so fast. He and Daryl have the same age gap as my two sons and, if they are given the chance to get to know one another, will strike up a rapport of their own. Who knows, in years to come they may both cross the Atlantic to see each other, not just to visit you guys. Go and visit Craig's old haunts, the ones I am sure he has talked about to you often. Re-live and enjoy the places you were happy together when you weren't married.

I am sure you will work this out - you are both "good people" and if you love each other as much as it really seems you do, things will be fine. But...........it takes time..........it takes understanding..........and sometimes it does take standing back and saying "that's enough - it's my turn for a little understanding here!!"

Craig, it will get easier and children, no matter how much they love you and miss you and want you with them, soon develop into adults. That doesn't mean they become any less close to you, but it is different. Steven doesn't call me as often now, he is in a "strop" with me at the moment because I wouldn't sign the papers for him to join the British Army when he was 16, but that's another story! He will visit when he wants to now, not when I would like him to. He phones when he isn't too busy or isn't at his girlfriend's house. He never e-mails because he just hates to - I'll write my life story (much as here.........sorry!) and I'll get a one line mail back! He's a boy and they change so much during their teenage years you would hardly recognise them, looking back. Go visit him - ASK his mother if he can come to visit during the Summer holidays - he'd love it and I am sure she could probably do with some time alone with her new fiance too. You won't know if you don't ask.

I truly wish you both the best and don't give up now, you have come so far and this is the worst it is likely to ever be, believe me, I have been there. Liken it to a mountain - you are at the peak now and once you get over the other side the view is truly spectacular!

Remember the definition of love as my sister saw it - and think of it every time you look at each other and then ask yourself "Would I really want that for myself?"

Sorry this was so long, and probably all over the place........!!

Good luck - I will be thinking of you both and hoping for the very best, for both of you!