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Coldshot

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    Visa cancelled and in a bad dilemma

    in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

    Posted

    1 hour ago, yuna628 said:

    OP:

     

    There are things I must now say and I hope it does not cause offense. You say you love him. He does not love you. He is an abuser. He will harm you, and he *has* caused harm to you. He has caused harm to others. At some point you knew all of this, and at some point you reasoned that through your love, compassion, and kindness that this would make him stop being abusive. That he would change via your love or even worse, that you are the problem. It is a lie. A lie that people in these relationships tell themselves to survive.

     

    There is nothing more to be done now. Move on from him and find someone that understands your worth and actually loves you. Not just the idea of you, or an imagining of you - but actually loves and respects you for you.

     

    From a period of three years of my young life long ago, I once learned what it was like to love an abuser. The places it took me were harmful and will effect me for the rest of my days. They will destroy you until there isn't anything left and nothing will make them happier in doing so. I know how much I desperately loved that person and I know that now I look back on it and feel nothing for them. You will move on, grow, and love again.

    Hmmm.. it’s well. I have no other choice than to count my loss and pick up my pieces. It’s been really really hard because I love him and he chose to turn my life upside down in the last minute. 

    Visa cancelled and in a bad dilemma

    in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

    Posted · Edited by Coldshot

    44 minutes ago, Scandi said:

    Doesn't sound like a loss to me. Time to move on.

    Also, you cannot get a K-1 visa when you're already married, so that was probably why your visa was denied. 

    I got the visa and was about to pick up but he wrote to the embassy for cancellation over a tiniest misunderstanding that could be resolved. It’s just a pattern with him. He had done it in the past like canceling his flight ticket and Airbnb over a little misunderstanding.

    Visa cancelled and in a bad dilemma

    in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

    Posted

    7 hours ago, KMG said:

    Ghosting during this process is unacceptable.  You deserve better than this nonsense.  Take some time to heal. As others have said, block him, and move on. You are only 26- don't play with someone who does not want kids.  

    I don’t mean to defend him but I’m going to make my words clearer because I omitted many important details to save time . He told me to move on during the time I was ghosted. I pursued my transfer to another country because I thought it was the distance and he told his sister that he won’t withdraw our case. He would see that he brings me and we live together as family. 
    I truly love and miss him despite this immense hurting. And it’s so hard accepting this is where our journey ends. 💔💔😭

    Visa cancelled and in a bad dilemma

    in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

    Posted

    50 minutes ago, MalloryCat said:

    I'm sorry but there is no salvaging this situation.

    you have every right to be hurt, disappointed, sad. But try to see it from another perspective. what if you had a best friend who was going through this? Would you be telling them to try to salvage it? probably not.

     

    you are still young, with plenty of life left to live. you deserve someone who treats you like you are the most precious thing on earth no matter what. someone who genuinely cares doesn't block you and ghost you when they get a little upset.

     

    you dodged a plethora of bullets. you would have been miserable with this person in the US.

     

     

    take your time to grieve, 4 years is a long time with a person, but block them and move on to better and brighter things. 

    I appreciate your time and advice. Something that should’ve been the happiest day of our life turned into my worst nightmare. It hurts so so bad but no need of crying over a split milk. 

    1 hour ago, smilingstone said:

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

     

    Take time to heal and move on. You acknowledge this man hurt you. This marriage would not have ended well.

    😞

    Visa cancelled and in a bad dilemma

    in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

    Posted

    41 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

    To read your ordeal is heart-rending 

    To put faith in another and go years for the visa process is something we all have done but this disappointment is beyond anything we can really understand

     

    You have my payers and please do not think to commit suicide 

    My prayers go out to you as only God can bring you thru this

     

    I often think someone getting into marriage (especially those who do LDR) should do a back ground check on the mate

     

    His mother's reaction makes me believe her culture does not like woman to show weakness 

    I found this out in Moroc too as i was upset once and his aunt said "do not cry-the man will think you are weak"

     

    You did dodge a bullet as marriage to this man would have been a nightmare 

     

    salvage the situation?  please if you love a man who does not want you,  let him go/  if he comes back , its only because he was not wanted wherever he went 

    so, if he tries to come back,  kick him away (let the door hit him in the butt on his way out)  

    you have understanding of what a good wife is,  so you don't need someone who doesn't

    Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s been really so hard because I envisioned growing old and dying with him. I beat myself up everyday for what happened. I keep thinking of the “what ifs”. This is the pain I will have to live with for the rest of my life.😞😞😞😭😭

    Visa cancelled and in a bad dilemma

    in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

    Posted · Edited by Ryan H
    Reason for edit: to remove alternate spellings of profanity

    I wholeheartedly wish this was a dream.😞😞😞I posted a snippet of my ordeal last week but I took it down. Please my thoughts are gonna be everywhere. I’m emotionally distressed. How do I move from here? I don’t know what I’m looking for maybe an advice. My spirit is immensely broken. I met my fiancé in 2021 when I was 26 and he just turned 40. We are from different races and I knew deep in my heart that he was the man for me and I for him. Although, he professes his love everyday; I thought his love was rock solid. He provides accordingly and gives me his time and “loyalty”. I gave him my heart and loyalty entirely hoping that I’d give him much more as we start a new life as husband and wife in America.

    Apparently, we have had our fair share of relationship problems. He told me that he had been inconsistent in his teens with relationships but he promised to make this work. We have been in a LDR for almost 4 years and during those times, there had been series of emotional abuse. I thought that things are going to get better when we eventually close the distance— but I was wrong. I wish he gave me the chance. One of my toxic trait is I have a high tolerance to endure abuse especially from someone I love deeply.

     

    First of all, He was convicted of a crime and he served his term in prison. He suffered from the trauma and we have been there to give him our support. 

    Fast forward to when we filed our k1 application, It hasn’t been easy. Our k-1 petition took almost 3 years before we were approved from start to finish. After the approval; flight was booked, preparations were made and he was already getting things in order for my arrival. To be honest, he has anger issue. His mom and sister tried to warn me—they told me to leave him that he has always hurt girls during his late teens but I assumed they didn’t want me to marry him. He knew about it, told me he was willing to make our relationship work. 
    Fast forward to this month, 3 weeks after my visa approval, and few days to my visa pickup; we had the most silliest conversation that involved calling what he said as disgusting and dehumanizing. He told me that I’m gonna <word removed> and <word removed> as a duty when I come to America. Normally, I would laugh and make silly comments about it but that day I was going through hormonal changes due to PMS and it affected my mood. I got little upset but never raise my voice when he starts to put his fingers down when I was asked to mention what I’m gonna offer him if it’s not to <word removed> and <word removed>.  
    Each time I’ve always tried to tell him politely that I have way more things to offer than just to <word removed> and <word removed>. I tried mentioning things that are my duty as a wife but he  keep saying no to my answers. After that video call, I told him I felt disgusted and dehumanized on text. He read it the next day; told me he was canceling my flight and I never thought in a billion years he would cancel our visa that was still at the embassy awaiting collection. He blocked me everywhere( that’s his pattern whenever he’s stressed and doesn’t want to talk to me). I’ve been abused emotionally but the love I have for him made me stay and I thought things were going to get better when we eventually close the distance— I thought the distance was the problem. I tried to accommodate his temper but I ended up broken with a lot of emotional baggages. 

    I went to pick up my passport on Friday and I was told it’s on administrative processing. I knew there was a problem because people that I had interview with were already picking up their passports. After sometime, I logged into my case tracker and I found out my visa has been cancelled. He tried reinstating the visa before the collection day but the deeds had been done. Few days ago we got a response email from the embassy saying that my visa has been revoked and it’s been sent to uscis. I’m beyond devastated and depressed. He tried minimizing his mistakes by saying that he doesn’t want to have children due to his family’s autistic gene blah blah. That I wanted children he cannot give me. He called himself toxic and I deserve better. He never mentioned about not having children until after late January 2025.—We have always wanted to have babies of our own. 
    On January 2025, he got so impatient due to the current immigration Policy and our case being stuck at NVC for 12 months. He decided to call our relationship a quit due to the distance( not the first or 3rd time). I had to transfer my case immediately to a different country in order to get an interview date. I went through hell traveling from my country to a different country for two failed residential permit, police report and getting my medical done for interview. He ghosted me for weeks until our k1 application arrived at the new embassy. 

    After the most excruciating journey of our lives and when I finally thought we are closing the distance, he cancelled the visa. I feel like dying. I can’t breathe and I’m devastated and depressed. Words cannot describe how much pain, Betrayal, grief and loss i feel. 

    During our uscis stage, I literally begged him to relocate to my country or any country of his choice and he refused. We were traditionally married.

    For what it’s worth, aside his temper problem, he has been the most amazing man I ever had. I love him so very much with all my heart and I don’t know what to do. I don’t think our relationship will ever survive this.( it never survived💔💔💔) To clear his conscience, he offered me money to start a new life. 
    Is this how heartbreak hurts? Is this what pain feels? I’m going through soul-shattering sorrow. 
    He sent me a text that I should move on and start something new and beautiful with someone else. 😭😭😭😭😭

    To add salt to the injury, His mother got to hear about it. She wrote and sympathized with me few days after but when I told her on text that I’m beyond devastated and having suicidal thoughts due to the devastation and pain. In her words she says “ I’m so disappointed in you and also disappointed in my son. My son isn’t the only ####### in the world. There are thousands of women going through problems. I am an 80 year old woman and I’m not ready for any drama. I have gone through pain and hurt in my life. I am leaving to Mexico as soon as I can and if you still choose to kill yourself “ May your soul rest in peace and May God forgive you ” I am blocking you now for ever.
     
    When I read her text; reality struck and I was numb from my head to toe. How could she dismiss my pains and depression like that. We were really close. We discussed literally everything we were going to do together when I come. 

    My marriage is over. I’m left with a broken heart, in despair, sorrow.  I have been beating and bawling my eyes out, haven’t eaten in days, sleeplesss nights, tears and sorrow. 

    I can only put my feelings in one word as the ultimate pain.  I am beyond shattered. Please any advice or help to salvage this situation will be highly appreciated.😞😞😞😞

    Please how long does it take a k1 visa petition to be fully adjudicated at California center?

    in K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

    Posted

    5 minutes ago, Indo4weaks said:

    Did you contact your congress people, or did it just finally get approved.  I feel for you, that’s an awfully long wait.  Any reason on why it took so long?

    My fiancé has a criminal conviction that’s why it took so long.
    Recently, my fiancé wrote and called his congress man but it was just useless and time wasting. We were approved on the 17th May, we never knew about it because we didn’t see it on our uscis case status. He called uscis office today and was given the best news of our lives.
    I hope I answered your question. 

     

     

    Please how long does it take a k1 visa petition to be fully adjudicated at California center?

    in K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

    Posted

    On 5/17/2024 at 4:10 PM, Nashmusah said:

    Adjudication is the process by which an immigration officer decides whether to grant approval or deny an immigration case. In the case of a K-1 visa, adjudication of the petition takes place about 4–10 months after filing. The California Service Center, which is indicated by the first three letters of the receipt number, handles K-1 visa applications. 

    Thank you so much. We just got approved on the 17th of this month 😭😭😩

    Please how long does it take a k1 visa petition to be fully adjudicated at California center?

    in K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

    Posted

    We filed for k1 on September 2022 and received our NOA1 October 19th 2022 and since then our case has been untouched.
    Fast forward to many months of calls and enquires, we received an email from the Uscis that “ our case is currently being adjudicated”. 
    It’s been 2 months we received the email and yet our case  status still shows “ case received”. We have gone through all the phases of anxiety and depression but we managed to keep sane and hopeful. 
    My USC fiancé has a non-Adam Walsh criminal conviction. 
    Please anyone here with any knowledge about our situation? Thank you for your time. 

    Interview cancellation

    in K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures

    Posted

    On 4/25/2024 at 7:00 PM, EleniGR said:

    Thank you everyone! I ended up going to the interview on a wheelchair.. I explained what happened and I got approved !! 🥳🎉 

    After the interview I went straight to the hospital..Doctors said was Guillain Barre syndrome that Tdap vaccine and stress caused it 😐 

    I had a treatment for a week and now I get better and better every day ✌🏼😊

     

    A big congratulations.💃👍🏻

    Interview cancellation

    in K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures

    Posted

    On 4/14/2024 at 10:09 PM, EleniGR said:

    Thank you very much for the reply. After a shot i had for the medical exams and the stress for the process, my body is on a shock.. Since 1st of April the nerves don't work well.Today,i feel weak.. I can stand and walk slow (baby steps) ,i can't go up on stairs and i can't stand up without help when I sit on a chair.. All my medical tests are good and doctor said my body will recover but needs time. I'm gonna do everything I can to be at the embassy on Tuesday but I'm scared that i'll get rejected because of the disabilities.. That's why I'm trying to figure out what options I have and what's the best to do 

     

    Hello!! How’s your health and how did the interview go? 

    OCTOBER 2022 I-129F K1 FILERS

    in K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports

    Posted

    17 hours ago, s725 said:

    Omg wow! Congrats! My NOA1 was Oct 11th! I’m hoping to get our NOA2 soon too!! 

    Congratulations…I’m happy for y’all🥳🥳.  I pray ours and those waiting come soon. Good luck everyone 🥂

    17 hours ago, s725 said:

    You are still within normal processing time so there’s nothing to be done yet except to just continue to be patient. Most of us are in the same boat as you. We got our NOA1 on October 11th and still haven’t heard anything else either. Don’t stress! Our time will come soon!

    Thank you so much 🫠

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