SterlingGirl

So, d'you think, at this stage in the game, if he were just to get his Tdap and MMR, he should be good to go? I mean, at least here in the US, most vaxes are repeats and boosters, so it's not like they can make up for a whole childhood's worth of, say, polio vaccines in one day. At least, I wouldn't think so.

If it's just those two, then paying for those tomorrow shouldn't be an issue at all. We've just seen some incredibly expensive ones, aside from the fact that we're not sure what exactly Knightsbridge is going to ask for - do they need to see a signed letter from his GP, etc.

And, now, I'm going to bow out of this formerly nice conversation. Americans get far too angry when you try to discuss issues like this because, for some reason, they take it personally and go on the offensive. I'll say no more.

And quotes like this are exactly why. Nothing about my post was irate or meanspirited - it was meant to pose an example. I think the "why" has been more than eloquently stated; we tend to have far less vacation time than most, and when we DO have it, we don't often have the money to do extensive world traveling. And yet, that didn't seem to be plausible enough - again, because I think there are stereotypes that all Americans are just rolling in the money (when really, most of them are in debt trying to keep up appearances) - so it must be because America doesn't promote multi-culturalism "like Canada does".

Therefore, I offered you a few examples that exist just within the tiny, often-misunderstood state of Mississippi, not even the huge, globally-recognized states like California.

And yet, when I do that, I am supposedly going on the offensive - as you seem to believe all Americans tend to do. What exactly about my post was offensive to you, other than rebutting an assumption?

I think part of the equation is that multi-culturalism is promoted in Canada, so its citizens love to travel and experience that.

And it's not here? There may be some areas of the U.S. where there is less multi-cultural influence than others - but even in MY state, we have things like Celticfest and Oktoberfest. We have community theatres and interesting stuff like African tribal dance classes. We have SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism). We've had lots of historical exhibits travel through, such as the Palaces of St. Petersburg, which enjoyed HUGE success here. We have TONS of Hispanic and Eastern Asian families who move here and thrive, economically. Our University hospital attracts people from all over the globe - my son was treated for a middle ear infection not a few days ago by an Egyptian, and on the way out, I heard two residents speaking rapid German. I'm actually good friends with a native of this area who has modeled for Gucci and Hugo Boss and traveled all over the world, and has recently gotten married and settled down about an hour from here. No less than two years of a foreign language are required to graduate in public schools. I attended a party just this weekend, thrown in honor of a friend of mine - a Puerto Rican with a doctorate in marine biology - coming back from working in Hawaii all summer. The town I grew up in is sister cities with Solleftea, Sweden.

Mind you, ALL of this is just in the small, stereotypically conservative "redneck" state of Mississippi. That's not even touching cultural goldmines like New York, Boston, San Francisco, and so on.

Please stop painting the entirety of America with such a broad brush. I'm not saying you have to outright love EVERY facet of life here - not even lifelong residents do. But it sounds like a few people are truly LOOKING to see the bad things to write home about, so they can say, "Yep, yep, the stereotypes are all true, they're all a bunch of jingoistic, uneducated, culture-less pigs!"

Also, on the passport issue, most of England's population live in densely packed cities where not many people drive cars. My fiance uses his passport (which he didn't even have until he himself was about 23 years-old and coming to visit me) as his ID. Here, unless you live in New York, most people tend to have cars and, therefore, drivers' licenses. So as Ginger said, passports are just wholly unnecessary here as, while lower-to-mid middle class is certainly not in the dumps, it doesn't leave a whole lot of money for international travel. You'd be surprised how many people in the U.S. would LOVE to travel more, or learn foreign languages and try new things (god, sushi here is SUCH a fad food - lots of people here LOVE the sense of culture it gives them. If that weren't part of the appeal, we'd eat nothing but . . . well, there really IS no such thing as truly American food). Most of our chosen destinations, however, are simply too far away for us to afford unless we save for a very long time, or get lucky and win something.

I consider NINE flags outside a simple gas station to be unnecessary if nothing else, like a constant reminder that "America is the BEST"

That's because they've never been elsewhere to make a comparison, hence:

under 40% of Americans have passports.

That figure includes me. It's not because I don't WANT to go anywhere else, it's because foreign travel has always been so expensive, and I've never been wealthy by any standards. If it's between having insurance and rent and a nice cushion for incidentals, and going to Iceland, I choose the former. And you couldn't PAY me to take public healthcare; my fiance has told me all about how wonderful the NHS is, further reinforcing my opinion that I'd rather dump a little more of my money into quality healthcare than to be shuffled through a system that's been re-engineered to herd people through like cattle. After all, what competition is going to scare them into providing the best service possible? But, that's a rant for later . . .

Back on topic, I'm not saying there aren't people like that, I just don't believe it's of as much urgency as some people would make it out to be. Most of those types are in no way dangerous - they're just indicative of a far worse trend than just blind patriotism, and that trend is that of people who want to be proud of something they didn't achieve. I love my country and I'd never want to live anywhere else, but I can't honestly say I'm "proud" to be an American, because being American isn't something I did. I'd rather be proud of my merits - intelligence, awards and honors I've won, things I've done, that kind of thing. Not just in America, but all over, it's becoming more and more common for people to want praise or a sense of pride over something that was really just an accident of birth. I consider it the same kind of stupid as "White Pride", or "Gay" vs "Straight" Pride. That's why there are so many problems with division in society in general - people want to be proud of the stupidest things.

It's not America itself that should really annoy anyone. Though, I DO wonder how many people would notice the same thing if any other country in the world were displaying the same level of patriotism.

In my opinion, it can never hurt to go in looking your best and make a good impression. Not saying that it'll honestly impact the adjudicator's decision, but then again it might. At least in the sense that he can see you're dedicated, and want to come across as professional and sincere. At the very least, I personally would wear business casual clothing. One of the things they want to be assured of is that you'll both we well off enough not to become public charges in the States, right? Well - don't show up looking like a pikey.

Don't make yourself unnecessarily uncomfortable, of course, but make a good impression.

Hmm. Not sure if I can really empathize - my fiance was here for a month, in Mississippi. He did notice that there were churches sometimes spaced only a mile apart. He noticed that summer weather here feels pretty near Malaysian. He noticed the pretty rampant, open Christianity (with "Jesus saves" T-shirts in Wal-Mart). More than anything, he was amused. He didn't approach it with any stand-offish, snobbish disdain, but actual fascination that, yes, "some" of the stereotypes were true.

But, as a Londoner most of his life, he also noticed that people were genuinely friendly. He noticed that there weren't idiots damned near ready to gut each other over the outcome of a football (or soccer) game, nor was the same true for "our" version of football. He noticed there weren't literal roving gangs of kids whose mothers wouldn't discipline them slashing peoples' tires or beating up people for cell phones or stoning old men to death just for the joy of it. He noticed that, in general, there was less a level of squalor that people lived in - even IF they lived in trailers, in keeping with more common stereotypes. He noticed that, after adjusting for inflation, he wasn't absolutely shafted on electronics or videogames, and that a fairly modest tax was added to purchases after being rung up, rather than already built-in with a rather bloated VAT on pretty much everything. He noticed that shops stayed open sometimes all night. He noticed that there were restaurants with free drink refills, and waitstaff who didn't look at you as if they wished you'd simply drop dead into your mashed potatoes. He noticed there was actually a pub or two that served pretty true-to-form Scotch eggs, which he loves.

He noticed that my friends were down-to-earth, even if some were Christian - and that he didn't necessarily have to completely "avoid" all Christians, as we're both atheists, but that some were actually decent people. He knows through me that, while one would have to drive about an hour out of Jackson to obtain an abortion, it's in a college town where people would quite literally throw themselves in FRONT of any idiot who would be so dense as to try and shoot someone for having one. And - mentioning this twice, since it was such a breath of fresh air for him - no football idiots causing rows, calling up for a cab and acting like a total staff about it, barely intelligible accents combined with the slur of alcohol . . . basically, he fully realised that there were things he outright despised about England. And while he's certainly not about to slap a "Proud to be an American" sticker on his non-existent SUV, he was able to view America without such a . . . European bent on it.

I warned him well enough about some of our peculiarities, and came to find out that his trip here was like a virtual paradise. But, that's because he's probably only had three people in his entire lifetime in England who didn't annoy the utter bejesus out of him with all those specific things that are so common TO England. He had a blast telling friends of mine who were "so jealous that he got to live in London" how much they'd truly HATE it, at least if they had to live there for any length of time. Of course, this is coming from someone who had to share a flat with a bunch of drunken, loud douchebags, one of whom left feces in a pair of shoes, and another who left some in an elevator.

So I guess it's all in how you look at it. My fiance couldn't be happier about escaping what he calls "that rock". Different strokes to move the world, I guess.

So, my fiance and his mother aren't on very good terms, and sparing a very long and ridiculous story, she was the type who moved around from council house to council house. As a result, my fiance's vaccination records from childhood don't seem to be comprehensive or, we fear, even complete. He called his regular doctor, who didn't even volunteer to consolidate all the records they DO have onto one form, but seemed to rattle of an incomplete list.

The paperwork he received from the Embassy is no help either - they've even got vaccinations listed that have no relevance to fiance visas, and some that aren't even available in the UK.

When it says the doctor at the medical exam "will work with" those who have incomplete or missing records, what does this mean? Does he have to have a physical statement from his other doctor or the NHS on what he's had? Will the immigration doctor simply look it up before administering any missing vaxes? How on earth does this whole thing work?

But I think a lot of this, when it occurs and it's not a "gold digger" is just the girl's family (mainly her father or brothers) being concerned that her husband has the ability to care for her and provide her with the things that she needs.

Oh, of course, and it's a valid concern. But just saying, in those cases, having an educated daughter or one who has learned a skill or trade could certainly help alleviate that stress on the man to be the sole provider, thus kind of freeing the both of them up to put more emphasis on love or compatibility, rather than laying all the burden on the man to completely support the woman - thereby creating a need to shop around for the wealthiest man for your daughter to marry.

This may sound a little ethnocentric, but it seems a bit sad to me that love has to take a backseat to financial stability simply because of prevailing cultural norms. If women can 1) contribute to the household income and 2) hold off on having children (which are naught but pure expense for people who are trying to establish themselves), then there's not really much of a problem. I think the issue arises when people want to immediately begin having children when they marry, or have only one person making a living.

Not saying that Westernized methods are "superior" or anything, but it seems to certainly make it easier for love to play the biggest factor in marriage. Sure, you've got your gold-diggers who marry only for money, and then wonder why they're unhappy years later. But I, personally, have never witnessed that kind of a setup - I've been middle class all my life. Succeed or fail, every relationship I've ever been privy to was forged out of love. I think it's tragic that any marriage should be done any differently.

So it does sound like a bit of shifting of some cultural norms would be in order.

If I were in her position, I'd leave. I'd find a way to leave. I'd go live with a friend, or best, go back home. Maybe I'm just cold hearted. Heck, I'd live with a friend for a week until I find a job and live in a crappy apartment for a few weeks/months. Its really not that hard. I've done it , twice when my parents kicked me out when I was younger.

And you probably also had the luxury of having a command over the native language, knowledge of the lay of the land, how to find things, other family if necessary. If she's still here, then it's very possible he was her only link to America and she's quite literally stranded now. Going back might sound like the easiest solution, but you don't think you'd at least be a LITTLE confused and needing closure when the person who once said he wanted to spend his life with you just suddenly clams up and disappears from your life? Coldhearted, pragmatic, whatever you'd want to call yourself - at least when it comes to a marriage to someone for whom you gave up an entire life in another country, I'd think it might throw you for enough of a loop that the "easy" solution just doesn't seem like the right one.

If you don't like "abuse", fine, but it's definitely mistreatment. It's rather cruel to bring someone into a totally different culture and then, without even so much as an explanation, completely throwing them right back out of your life for unexplained reasons.

I'm neither a Muslim nor am I marrying anyone from a MENA nation, but I just thought I'd ask - female USC's with Muslim MENA beneficiaries, what prompted you personally to convert to Islam? Was it truly a decision you made prior to meeting your mate, or was it to ensure that your mate would be marrying a Muslim woman, or was it because the faith truly appealed to you? And if the latter, what was it about the faith that convinced you to adopt it?

This is totally not a sarcastic or rude question, but one of genuine curiosity.

That's a slight exaggeration, but there are essentially no ways for a male in Indiana to get any kind of "assistance" unless they are disabled on the job. Ergo, what would you even have to pay back, if the government actually made people pay it back?

Well, then, to answer your question - why NOT pull the green card? Whether he entered the country fully INTENDING to marry someone while screwing around, or looked at his surroundings and realized he could get a "better deal" than what he'd originally intended, the point is - he's pretty much abandoned the only reason he was here. "Obligations to USCIS" be damned - it's obvious he likely wouldn't even qualify for any benefits, so really, what's the issue?

If the conditions are removed, then yeah, I can see why there's nothing to be done. But if there IS a way that the process can be halted so that he won't benefit from a green card, I can't see why she shouldn't do that. She rearranged her entire life, spent all her money, and now this jacka$$ is screwing around on her like she doesn't even exist. Let HIM endure some hardship now - go restart your life where you came from, if that's how much you're going to value someone who made so many sacrifices for you. It's absolutely no less than he deserves. If it were me, it would most certainly be revenge, and I wouldn't have one problem admitting it. NO one would f*@# with me that way and get away with it.

WHEE! ¡Felicitaciones, Suzy y Luis!

No problem. I love her, not her money.

Bingo.

It's not always "polite" to plan for your future, but it's often necessary. It's not that they believe this person is ONLY out for their money at the time they sign, but things CAN change in ways that you don't always forsee. I'm divorced myself, but at the time I got married, I had the same thought as everyone else - "this is forever, we'll always be able to work things out, etc". It didn't work out that way.

I think it's just a way of establishing that you're more than happy to contribute to your spouse's financial wellbeing while the two of you are together. If that person decides to leave, then it's her call, but don't expect to be supported after it's over. For someone with a significant amount of wealth, this is important.

I'd say, unless you have more of a relationship with your fiance's money than your fiance, I wouldn't worry about it.

My fiance is probably going to have to go to Tokyo near early October. If he's given an interview date around that time, is it possible for him to call and get it pushed back?

For the affidavit of support only Alex's pay stubs, a letter from his employer and his bank statement were apparently required. They did not seem to count his single tax return and they also did not mind that he had only been in employment for just over a year. We had a co-sponsor just in case but all of his information was handed straight back to me.

I was told in another thread that they don't really care if you've only been employed for a month - as long as you've got a permanent, full-time job that meets the financial requirements, you should be good.

I hope they weren't wrong.

"he who worry, have big ulcer"

Got it in the mail today

*Does the 'I was totally right' dance*

Yay! Isn't just awesome to physically have it in your hands?

Ha, I was doing well to keep my head on straight during the I-129F process. There are lots of questions answered, surely, but not all of them seem to be in the guides (which I've read) - lots of people link to specific threads, and forums search doesn't always work for me (since, I'd much rather learn from another thread than start my own). For instance, I JUST started a thread about what an "A" number is, since my forums search was unsuccessful, being that "A" number is too short of a search term. That's just one example.

But if it's under Embassy Info, fair do's. I've even been there a few times, I just didn't notice that part.

We're filling out the DS-230 and I'm wondering what the "A" number from DHS is supposed to be? He traveled here under visa waiver, so I'm not sure if it applies.

Hey all, how long does it take to get NOA2 hardcopy? I still haven't recieved

It took me about a good week or so. Look for it either today or tomorrow, I'm sure it's on its way.

You have been such a cheerleader for everyone else here, even to those who got their approvals faster (myself included), and have been insanely patient all the while. If ANYONE deserved an approval this week, it was you and Russ. I'm just pleased as punch to see your names at the top of Igor's list. Not too much longer now.

Warmest congrats; you guys will be reunited before you know it.

WOOOOOOO!

I checked the list a moment ago and got the HUGEST smile when I saw Russ & Kim up at the very top! FINALLY! Congrats, you two! *girly clap*

1. At ANY time, will my fiance need the originals of such documents as my divorce decree or birth certificate? I know HIS have to be the originals, but are they actually expecting me to send my only original of my divorce decree? Or my birth certificate that would cost me a ridiculous amount of money to replace (since it's out of state and priced by someone who obviously has a sick sense of humour)? They mentioned needing originals of all "documentary proof" - to what does this specifically refer? We've got his original plane tickets as proof of having met. I just wish I could readily glean WHAT the hell they want and when, annoying pillocks.

2. Will "British-sized" passport photos work for the police certificate? If not, does ANYONE know of a place near Eltham that does U.S.-specific passport photos? (My fiance was on a bus for an hour to Gould Pharmacy to go get the ones we already had taken). In fact, from this point forward - we're currently waiting for our package to reach the embassy - HOW many passport photos will we need so we can get it out of the way once and for all without being driven insane?

Also curious - at what stage does one receive an interview date? Do you ask for one, do they notify you when they send in packet 3/4? How does that work?