SterlingGirl

We are about five or six months away from the beginning of the 90-day window within which we'll have to file our I-751. Two weeks ago, we moved into the new house we just bought, so we are no longer at the address where we filed all our other petitions and forms.

Do we have to formally notify USCIS that our address has changed, even if we're not currently sending or awaiting receipt of any forms or correspondence? Will the new address we write on the I-751 form be enough, or do we need to formally contact them and tell them the address is different? If so, how would we go about doing this?

Eliminating the K1 or making it infinite are both extreme measures that would either limit options or cause greater levels of fraud. I'm not advocating either. Simply making the point that the 90 days is a reasonable compromise.

I don't agree with this. The visa is merely a stepping stone. It means absolutely nothing as far as who gets to STAY in America and who doesn't; it's just a conduit to get to this country and THEN start the process of permanent residency. I'm sure anyone who is intent on defrauding a USC would like for the process to go as quickly as possible so they can get what they're after - permanent residency/citizenship - and then shed the disguise to be able to do what he or she really wants to do.

So I don't understand how, if on one end of the extreme is NO K-1 Visa (which means con artists can simply board a plane when the urge takes them after "wooing" someone and start towards their green card) and on the other end of the extreme is an indefinite stay without marriage (again, not like they'd complain TOO much about that, aside from the inability to work), why can't a K-1 be valid for a year? Perhaps 18 months? That's certainly a drop in the bucket compared to a lifetime commitment, and since the ability to work and travel is contingent on a submitted AOS, it certainly won't benefit a fraudster any more if the USC wants to take their time, explore the relationship, and be absolutely sure it's what they want.

The process is already so unbelievably expensive that, if you've got a good feeling that someone is right for you and you simply want the opportunity to be with them without having to jump to either extreme - either immediate marriage or a complete severing of the relationship because of distance/expense to see one another - you'd have to either give up a large part of your life to be with each other in long increments (which a non-USC is not allowed to do if he wants to travel under any tourist visa), or you'd have to spend completely unfair amounts of money on frequently flying across the world for short trips.

I do not see why a 1-year K-1 isn't feasible. It would make perfect sense.

I don't qualify for legal aid and I've already got credit card debt I'm punching away at.

I haven't taken a cash advance out on a credit card in six years and I swore never to do that again because that's how the credit card companies get you. The debt I have now is not humongous, but it's taking a long time to pay it off because they absolutely screwed me on the interest rates for cash advances. The interest rates they have for straight charges are nothing compared to the interest they charge for cash advances. Another lesson I learned the hard way!!

I'm just going to use my savings, I'm staying away from debt of any kind!

I did my own divorce myself for about a grand total of under $48 ($30 for the filing fee, $18 for a book, complete with a CD of forms in both PDF and Word format). And we had a child, to boot. Luckily, we were both amiable on the divorce enough to swing it, but if you're just divorcing with no assets or children, I'd say the complete DIY route SHOULD work for you if all you want is to completely sever ties. In fact, I'd probably leave lawyers out of it totally. If he's not 100% aware that your affidavit of support makes you liable for him in certain financial ways, then I certainly wouldn't want to run the risk that a divorce attorney might MAKE him aware of that.

Seriously, as long as the immigration aspect doesn't throw up special, ornate roadblocks from attaining a simple, common divorce, I'd look at getting a book. Hell, I could send you mine, if you wanted it, although I'd issue a caveat: there WERE some things missing for my particular state that the judge who ruled on our divorce pointed out and literally had to go through and hand-correct. To be honest, he was quite annoyed that he HAD to do that, but I think he ultimately understood that we were not wealthy and that we didn't want lawyers involved, so he went easy on us and simply corrected my mistakes (I did all the forms and stuff myself; my ex is completely worthless when it comes to doing, oh, anything valuable in life). In the end, however, the judge signed them and we were divorced for less than $50. Those very same divorce papers were submitted for mine and my husband's K-1 and AOS packets. I think I just managed to pick a rather shoddy book whose forms were a little too generic; I'm sure there are FAR better books out there than the one I got, with more accurate and specialized information for each state.

You seem like a very intelligent, well-read, and competent woman - so my advice would be to get on Amazon, search for a DIY divorce book with good ratings (and hopefully containing state-by-state specific forms), and knock her out of the park. You CAN do it; it may feel a little overwhelming, but I think any of us who can get through the immigration process are MORE than able to navigate a divorce as well. It's all just paperwork and terminology, and you can learn those things. If you need any help, do let me know and I'd be happy to offer whatever advice I could as a DIY-er.

Green card arrived today. Yay!

Got another CRIS email, saying they mailed the welcome notice.

Looks like the gum is finally coming out of the gears!

Congrulation.. on Ur approval..

We got RFE too on Medical. We send last week again I-693. I don't know how long after RFE received by officer at CSC will update.

Can you update in ur profile..when u received RFE & when u send back RFE.. U had any touch after that ?

PLS that might help us..

I might not have been too clear, but I meant to say that we did NOT get an RFE. I was scared we *would* get one for the medical, because we sent in his DS sheet instead of going to the civil surgeon just to have them write down his vaccinations (we did get the TB and blood tests from the health department in a sealed envelope, though), but in the end, we did not get an RFE, which was a relief.

Woo hoo! Just got our email from CRIS. Card production has been ordered! I was so worried about getting an RFE because we didn't have an I-693, just his DS form they sent with them after his medical last year, but apparently (with the TB and various VD tests) they accepted it. Yay!

The relief is absolutely amazing. Smooth sailing from here on out, looks like.

Got our EAD in the mail yesterday. Yay!

Got the first touch on my AOS since April 9th. Hoping it'll mean fast approval!

Our EAD was touched today - might mean they just sent it out?

This post was actually reminded me how lucky my husband and I have been through this whole process. Truth is, while England is his home and was all he ever knew for his entire life, he was never totally happy there. He just never felt like he related to most people there - all the football frenzy, all the obsession with thin people (he's always been a large fellow, and there have been times he'd be walking along the street in town and have people in cars throw things at him, call him a fat c*#t, etc), the sheer number of roving gangs of -kids- who would do terrible things to peoples' property and the people themselves, etc. I guess to someone who loves England and has strong national ties might not understand that, or would be grievously homesick, but my Jim never truly felt like he ever belonged there. He always seemed to get along better with Americans and, while he readily acknowledges the U.S.'s many shortcomings as a nation, I think he feels like he fits in better with the people here.

What's more, he never truly found much success there. He's a very gifted writer and has an incredible personality, but he never could seem to get a foothold there. It took an internship with a U.S.-based blog to finally find a good niche, so by the time he came here, he was already earning money from a U.S. source and didn't have to look for a job. His being in the U.S. actually made the position he already had easier, he's more readily available to go on stateside business trips, doesn't have to incur international long distance to talk to any colleagues, etc.

Truly, the biggest complaints he's had have been missing his Nan and Granddad and his one real best friend, and the U.S.'s overuse of high fructose corn syrup in EVERYTHING (we had to search for MONTHS to find sandwich bread that didn't taste vile to him; most of it is too sweet for him). Since we live in the suburbs, there IS the issue of suburban sprawl, so he can't really get around when I'm not home because he doesn't drive. But we'll eventually be teaching him to drive, and at least there's a small shop across the way of our apartments.

I can't chalk any of this up to anything but luck; I can totally understand how most people, efficient and industrious as they may have been in their home countries, can come here and feel about as effective as an infant - there are plenty who had never learned to drive because of public transport, who have careers that require re-education and certification in the U.S. to resume, as well as having absolutely NO credit record or work history, which essentially makes you a ghost in the U.S. business sector. I couldn't imagine going through that, and I think I'd probably go mad if I did.

I think what we as USC's should really try to do is give our spouses anything we can to make them feel as if they have an imperative. Moving close to shopping or recreation is a great idea. Teaching them the public transit systems or how to drive a car (if they can't), so they can get a license as soon as possible, probably helps greatly. Perhaps taking e-mail addresses of past employers with you when you move so that any U.S. employers can at least have a professional reference or two that they don't have to make an international call to verify would be helpful. Anything to ease the transition and make their new life as close to the old one as possible.

People on here are way too quick to advise divorce. What happend to "til death do us part"? Marriage doesn't just happen, it takes work, and if you guys really love each other, seek counceling. Talk to your pastor/priest if your religious. Find out why he is having thoughts like these, because at minimum its emotional adultery he is flirting with here.

While everyone feels differently about such situations, I'll simply chime in with my own ideas: you should never have to "fight" for the person you love and who is supposed to love you. I'm not saying that means that a relationship doesn't take work; it most certainly does. If two people are having problems like communicating, or arguments within the arena of your specific relationship (you feel he's inconsiderate, you feel she's unadventurous, you butt heads, arguing ensues, etc), that's one thing. That's something you can work on because you can at least safely assume that both people are invested in the relationship and love one another, they just have a hard time relating on some levels and staying in sync as a couple.

But when you're talking about one partner's love being diverted to someone else, that's another thing entirely. Hell, PHYSICAL infidelity (like a one-night stand) could be worked through, it would be hurtful, but it never necessarily means that your spouse is in love with the "other" person. Emotional infidelity is just a whole other ballpark. That's the one thing that should never be in question: their love for you and only you. If I felt like I had to beg someone to love only me, or "keep tabs" on them just to make sure they're emotionally committed, it wouldn't feel right.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone the way it makes sense to me, but you shouldn't have to struggle to have someone love you. Yes, we all get wandering eyes and find ourselves physically attracted to the opposite sex. Yes, we have differences that sometimes manifest in anger and confusion. But I think the ONLY thing that ever makes a relationship worth working on or "fixing" is one where both people at least still have a basic, unchanged love for each other.

If that love isn't there, and the other person is fickle enough to "be in love" with someone else (ESPECIALLY after you've just reunited), then I personally don't see much hope. That person sounds like his "love" is just a randomly gifted novelty that is subject to change on a whim. Were it me, I'd be gone. Relationships can be challenging enough without having to worry whether or not your spouse even fundamentally LOVES you.

Bill Gates is one of the richest men in the world, has a huge and luxurious house, a wardrobe that probably costs more than what the average American will make in a lifetime, yet is still well-known for his humanitarian work and generosity in that vein.

Meanwhile, I'm positive there are people who wear $20 Wal-Mart sneakers and haven't done $hit for the poor their entire lives.

It should be kept in mind that I am not a fan of the Obama administration in general.

Bottom line: who cares? Life isn't fair. Some people have a lot, some people have nothing at all, and some might have done something to deserve what they have and others might have done nothing to deserve it. It happens. But insinuating that someone is greedy while they're out providing a service that someone is going to leave that day grateful for doesn't make you any more generous or helpful than they. In fact, it just makes you look like a petty, hateful jerk.

I feel the same way about my tax dollars being spent for military excursions into other parts of the world under false pretenses.

As do I. I feel military spending should be FAR more tightly regulated and the majority of our military scaled back to a defense meant for Homeland Security and formal declarations of war brought upon us (or declared on another nation transparently as a response to attack). Overall, I think we should be less involved, militarily, in the goings-on of the rest of the world.

I'm wondering if your husband feels the same way as you. My husband is from the UK and I know his thoughts about which nation is the most 'family friendly'.

He does indeed feel the exact same way as me. Having worked in Britain for quite some time, he was no stranger to the absolutely abhorrent amount of taxes taken out of his checks in exchange for what was often, at best, sub-par healthcare and a dole that literally offered no motivation for anyone to ever get off it.

He had to have a minor surgery on ingrown toenails shortly after he got here, a condition that wouldn't have been as bad if the numerous UK doctors he'd seen since the problem began (at age 17; he's now 25) had actually treated him properly and looked for root CAUSES of the inflammation, rather than just cutting here and there, slapping a bandage on it, and sending him on his way like one in a herd of cattle. Without insurance, yes, it was a bit costly (about $750 for the entire procedure). But the doctor was involved, she X-rayed him for free to be sure that the lack of proper care up to that point hadn't caused a bone infection in his foot (it hadn't, thankfully), encouraged us to follow up with her as needed (at no charge), and sure enough, we've had no problems whatsoever ever since.

He said that, yes, the prices for healthcare were kind of cumbersome (and definitely would be better if we had some insurance for him), but he got exactly what he paid for and he'd be happy to do it again. He appreciated having the choice rather than absolutely sky-high private insurance and costs for private practitioners in a country where an insane amount of his pay was eaten up in taxes and VAT, making it nearly impossible for him to exercise any real "choice" he might have had in the UK.

In his opinion, like mine, it isn't the government's job to be "family friendly", as it's the individuals choice to HAVE a family. No one ever made someone have children at gunpoint.

The reaction you see of many people against welfare is knee-jerk to be sure. We do not like seeing a quarter of what we work for confiscated and largely wasted (its that individuality kicking in again) but it is not because people are uneducated or ignorant.

Do all our tax dollars go for welfare?

Not for welfare, no, but they're inclusive with state and federal income taxes, and that's not to even mention FICA, which I consider yet another instance of my money being redistributed in a way that OTHER people deem fair. I find it rich that the amount extracted from my pay every two weeks would EASILY cover an insurance payment on my policy for my husband. Rather than have them mishandling it and probably spending a hilarious chunk of it on administrative costs (for some bored 20-something to smack gum and roll her eyes while calling "Next" at the ever-widening black hole of efficiency known as the Social Security Adminstration), I could've taken that amount and used it to support my family directly.

I don't know about anyone else here and I don't speak for them, but some people (myself most vocally included) are miffed at all vestiges of a welfare state - federal insurance, welfare, food stamps, Medicaid, etc. Things like eating, taking yourself to the doctor, etc - those are responsibilities. They're things people should be doing for themselves. And if there are some who absolutely couldn't allow people to tough it out or use the high stakes to fuel them to better their own situations, then by all means, those people could volunteer their own money.

Again, not speaking for anyone else, but I know I've seen people having to very, very carefully budget their money just to get the person they love into the country, especially when one of them is often crippled by that very system and can't get work immediately (and usually inadequate work once they ARE allowed to). This guy HAS a job, and could at least help support the family, yet the predominate concern is her keeping food stamps after a prospective $35,000 boost to the household income? Of course people are going to be a little critical. That doesn't sound to me like someone who reluctantly accepted some absolutely crucially-needed help, but someone who has become accustomed to that being her way of survival to the point where she couldn't imagine not having it readily available, even though the household income is increasing. I've had people like that in my family (purposefully trying to engineer their working hours so as to hold on to public benefits, etc) and they absolutely disgust me.

I'll say this much - if the reason she's on food stamps is because she doesn't have a job, then the OP's income should be a welcome help for her to be able to put the kids in daycare or preschool and get a job.

If she's on food stamps but does have a job, then there will be two incomes (from what I gather from the OP's) post. In that event, the food stamps SHOULD be revoked and she should want the first opportunity TO get off of them.

As for her kids "being the most important job" - look, I'm a mother, and I love my child, but my kid was my choice. I doubt if I stood in front of a bunch of taxpayers who also have children and said, "I shouldn't have to get a job/find an adequately-paying job because my children ARE my job" that it would fly very far. You make the choice to have kids, you make sure you have a way to feed them that doesn't involve a lifetime on public support. Our planet isn't so starved for people that one person deciding to have three kids is doing the world a service.

Yay! I guess there was a whole wave of approvals - I just checked mine when I got up, and both AP and EAD are finally showing on the site, and are approved!

Man, they're hauling buns lately.

This is my understanding:

You will have an out of status if you filed your AOS after your I-94 expired. If you are out of status for at least 180 days , even though you have an approved AP and left the US... you might have a problem with your re-entry. The 3-year-ban could be imposed.

Okay, so if my husband was only out of status for about . . . 2 weeks or so, that shouldn't be an issue?

Also, I just tried to add our AOS case to Case Status Online, and it worked. So that's nearly three weeks after our NOA1.

They just send you a notice in the mail that looks identical to an NOA (which is technically what it is).

Our case got transferred to the CSC!

It was the hugest surprise. We went to our biometrics appointment today, and we thought we'd be stuck there for at least an hour or two. We walked in, and the place was a desert. Nobody but us, and two women on staff. We filled out a form, gave them his ID and appointment letter. Within two minutes, she called him in, and after about another two or three minutes, he was right back out. Done and dusted, no problem at all. In fact, the traffic to and from the federal building took longer than the appointment itself.

I went back to work for about two hours, then went home. We'd forgotten to check the mail earlier, so we did it right before we left to go out to eat, and there it was - I was afraid it was an RFE, but it was a notice that our case had been transferred.

So needless to say, very very excited. I'm hoping the good luck holds out, because I know his vaccination paperwork isn't exactly accurate to the letter (the ONE civil surgeon out here was booked solid, so we decided to just send in his DS-3025 along with the health department's HIV/syphilis/TB test results in a sealed envelope, rather than the vaccine transcription you get from the civil surgeon). If we can just avoid an RFE, this will have been the most pleasant experience we've had with USCIS yet.

Our AOS was just delivered to the Chicago office today.

Let the fun begin!

It's okay if my husband wants to travel within the US prior to receiving AP, right? Like, if he has to fly to a certain state on business?

I was under the impression that the advance parole document was simply to allow the visa holder passage back into the country in the event it was needed - in other words, not for a specific trip, but just in case anything came up. My husband's grandparents aren't sick or dying, but they are up there in age, and since there's no telling how long the AOS could take, we wanted to apply for AP just in case anything happened and he was needed back home. The application is asking for exact dates of departure and for how long.

Do we have to furnish this? Will they enforce that precise date and that date alone? How does it work?

I think I've decided to just send in the DS-3025 and his TB test/follow up X-ray (because his skin test was positive; he had BCG as a child). The follow-up X-ray, plus another medical bill of his completely unrelated to immigration, is starting to put a small dent in our budget, and at least at this point, I don't feel like giving USCIS (and associated parties) another thin dime over and above the $1010 I'm having to dole out upon AOS. I know there will be more expenses in the future; but if it's possible that it's not necessary, I'll take a chance. I complied to the letter to get him here; now that he's here, I'm going to see what we can get away with.

As others have said - worst case scenario, we get an RFE and have to to see a CS anyway. The extra time really isn't a big deal to us.