erintoronto

yes, definitely follow what flames wrote re: traveling. i have gone to visit david twice since we filed. i packed light, answered any questions at the border honestly and had lots of paperwork to back me up if i needed it. both times there were no issues at all.

i wish you many happy visits during the process and hope everything happens sooner than expected for you

as for telling work, i was in a similar situation when we were first planning things. i told my supervisor and co-workers that i was hoping to be in chicago by summer. they were sad that i'd be leaving, but supportive and appreciative as things could be planned out in terms of my 'exit strategy' from the office. of course, once we got a reality check with our timing, i told my supervisor and co-workers that i'd be around for quite a bit longer than i planned initially. they were all thrilled that i would be around for a few more months (at least) and are still supportive. they are also quite understanding of the situation i'm in and are all hoping it's sooner than later for us. i'm glad i was up front with work. it has really made things easier as i know i have their support and they know i'm committed to my job. i am also sure that because i was looking out for everyone's interests that i'll get a solid reference which will be quite helpful when i start my job search in chicago.

what an adventure! glad it all went well and that you're home congrats!

Im sorry to hear that honey, I do know what you talk about since I live in the Middle East and many people in our families serve in the military ...and times are no other tan awful. We had a war 2 summers ago and I was in a shelter with my 2 little boys ...waiting for it to end...

gosh tuty... i cannot even begin to imagine what that would have been like. i used to work for an organization that assisted children affected by war and conflict. in many ways it was the best job i've ever had (and will ever have). but it was also so difficult to witness all that happens and feel like even though you're trying your best, it will take so much more to make a real change. i do hope that you and your children are never put in that situation again.

i hope you have all been enjoying the weekend

and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the moms here (F)

the weather was beautiful here yesterday. i spent most of the day outside. had brunch with a friend and got some sun while sitting on a patio. then we went for a bike ride before i met up with another friend to go for a walk. i wound up helping my friend jason host a bbq dinner at his house. it was a lot of fun and we ate so many good things! steak, asparagus, roasted garlic, grilled tomatoes. mmmmmm.

today has been gray and cloudy. i spent some time at the library, called my mom a few times (it is mother's day, after all ), went for a walk through chinatown to buy some groceries, and did some meal planning for the week. i also had a very nice nap and spoke with david for a while as he was driving home from his mom's. it's raining outside now so i'm listening to the rain and watching the hockey game.

i'm looking forward to accomplishing a lot this week at work and with some other things i'm moving forward. also trying to think of something i can do for david. he's been going through quite a bit with work so i'd like to send him some sort of care package to keep his spirits up.

aleena - what was the present you were working on for your guy? did you get it finished before you got to visit with him?

anyhow, i should get a quick bite to eat before it gets too late. i hope you all had a great day!

hugs,

erin

congratulations! glad everything worked out

congratulations!!!

that's wonderful news! congratulations!!!

it's true... i haven't been a very happy bunny lately. i am working on it though and feel like i'm made some major progress recently. there's no point getting into it all, but the last few years have been filled with incredible difficulties that i have always managed to overcome. i should be proud of myself!

i am lucky that my family is supportive (or appears to be so), and that the majority of my friends are excited about it all. it's just a few key people who are seriously concerned and the issues they have raised are all valid. i guess that's why i'm so bogged down in it today.

i really appreciate you taking the time to write... i need to clear my head before i write anything more. gosh - it's been a busy day at work but i did it!

(F)(F)(F)(F)(F)(F)(F)

happy weekend!

erin

I'm having a rotten day today, everything feels really unmanageable. I'm starting to really panic about my exams and can't focus properly on revision. Sadly I know I'm not doing enough but I just can't break away from obsessing about the visa. It's a shame they aren't giving me a question on this process I'd ace it. Thanks for the good vibes, mine have just about all run out now I'm afraid. I wish we had just put this whole process on hold until I had finished with school, its in my nature to be really calm and sensible about things but its too much to take on with everything else. Its too late now tho I don't think I'm going to get the grades I deserve in for my degree and thats something that I'm going to regret forever. How sad is that?!

I'm sorry to go all dooms day on you guys. I know there are a lot of people waiting a lot longer than us. Its not the waiting, its the waiting combined with everything else.

***HUGS***

don't be sorry at all. i agree that it's not the waiting, it's the waiting combined with everything else. we all have so much on the go, both as individuals and within our relationships. i have days when i wish we had waited until we had both sorted things out, but the reality is that there will always be something to deal with. i am hoping that this struggle to be together will make us stronger in the long run. it's very hard for me to see some days, but i know it is true.

i saw my counselor last night. she has been helpful in terms of handling stressful issues at work and such, but last night she focused on "what is he doing for you?" and "why do you want to give up everything here to be with him?" well, today i'm a complete wreck about it all. i don't know what else to say... but my heart hurts. everyone seems to be doubting what i'm doing, not able to understand what i see in him and why i'm willing to move and start a new life. it's true that there are times when he's not there for me, but he can't be. he has a child and a lot happening. it would be unfair of me to demand attention 100% of the time, and i would resent him if he was doing that. i just wish people could be more supportive. i know it's good to really question the path you're on to make sure it's solid, but there seems to be a lack of understanding from other people about the situation and our present reality. i don't know what else i can do to help them get it. and truthfully, part of me does get very sad from time to time when i realize he can never be there for me 100%. but given how i feel when i'm with him, and how we are when we're together, i'm willing to accept the situation for what it is. when this process is all said and done we'll be in such a good place.

gosh... i started out upbeat and ended up here. i should get back to work. i have 4.5 hours to finalize 6 articles and print a rough draft of a magazine. oh, and the entire office is OUT of the office so i'm covering 3 other desks.

i really appreciate being able to write to you all and know that you'll read and understand and be supportive.

much love,

erin

Melusine, where are you?

maybe she got her interview date and is still jumping up and down with excitement? i hope so

rae - congrats on FINALLY having your interview date!!!

i hope the rest of you who are waiting get yours very soon.

Today's obsession: I think my petition left the NVC for London today. No confirmation but I was eyeing a package on DHL tracking so decided to fixate on it being ours. Like I said NUTS. I'll call NVC late tonight when they're not busy and check status.

nah, that's not nuts at all. i'm sure if i was at that point, i'd be doing the exact same thing. hope when you call you find out it's on it's way

this is excellent news! congratulations!!!

The sun has been out again today hoorah! I was going to walk home and set off in the right direction although to get home I HAVE to walk through the shopping center and by the time I came out the other side I had too many bags to carry. Teehee I bought lots of nice new summer tops that actually fit because my wardrobe from last summer is 3 sizes too big in some cases. All courtesy of my overdraft of course. Sadly I got home and opened up my emails - for the first time today - and there wasn't a NOA2 in sight ... there was however a £100 phone bill so I'm thinking I might have to take some of my new stuff back

i know all too well the 'having to take new stuff back'.

funny, the clothes i have are all at least 3 sizes too big, too. i look like a slob most of the time. good thing i work at a university and can get away with dressing like a student most days. i don't like doing it though. oh well.

Erin I'm super glad you are getting a hold of the problems that were worrying you most. Its strange how once you get one thing under control everything else seems much more manageable too. Definitely don't forget the sunscreen, I would rather be as pale as I am (I'm very English pale) than some of the lobster looking ladies I saw today, NOT pretty. The sun doesn't half bring all the weirdos out of the woodwork as well!

yes, it's true. things seem much more manageable. i'm fighting with a couple of companies trying to get statements and such, but i hope to have things wrapped up before the end of the month.

i have a problem that isn't sun related, but is sinus infection related. my crazy bus trip home on monday night left me with a very bad cold that turned into a sinus infection. i've gone through 2 boxes of tissues since tuesday and my nose is chapped and red and peeling. i swear, every time i start to pick the dried skin off someone walks by my desk. they must all think i'm a super aggressive nose picker!

Tuty lovely I'm sorry for the way things have worked out for you. Will the waiting mean that your NOA2 is likely to expire? Can't Donnie get his embassy to request it? Ahhh I'm sure you have thought of everything already I just wish that I could help some. Will be nice for you to spend some time with Donnie and hopefully you will be able to lift your spirits some. If there is anything we can do to help let us know, although my talents don't stretch very far ... maybe to a song at best.

yes, tuty. if there is anything you need... we'll do our best. i can't imagine how frustrating it would be to have your NOA2 and then have to wait.

i'm glad in some ways that i'm at CSC and then the super slow montreal consulate. with my financial situation as it is, i need about 10 months to deal with that anyway. i guess everything should work out at about the same time. and heck, 10 more months i can deal with. it was the thought of it being another year that was upsetting to me. but it is what it is.

for whatever reason, since my trip to evanston and back i've been very, very calm about everything. i'm not worried about not hearing from david (i was an absolute wreck for a while), and i finally was able to take action with my finances. work is incredibly hectic, but being busy is likely what's helping me through. david says he's still trying to get here in about a week to see me again, but i'm not sure it will happen. it is a nice thought to have though

he sent me a photo today that cracked me up. he is a goalie in hockey and last night he got hit in the ribs REALLY HARD with a puck. right under his pads for some reason. anyway, he sent me this bizarre photo of his armpit and ribs to show me the big red mark on his side. what a goof

The whole visa thing has been making me a bit needy over the last few months so I have been calling Alan from my cell twice a day. I guess its just time to stop those shenanigans.

i had to give up those shenanigans, too. well, calling david on his cell phone before 9pm CST. i'm lucky - i have unlimited evenings from 5pm - 8pm and unlimited weekends with my cell plan, plus i pay $20/month for unlimited calls within canada and the united states. $20 seems reasonable to me, plus the company i use provides decent calling records. always a good thing

i can't believe the waiting game some of you are having to play right now. i think you're all doing incredibly well given the frustrations you must have with the process at this point. i can hardly wait until i'm waiting for montreal...

i hope you ALL get your interviews very soon! and laura - that's great that nick will be with you for your birthday

Hi guys.

Hope your all well today, I spent the day at Grand Designs Live in London enjoying the sunshine with Kevin McCloud and Kirsty Allsopp. Am a little bit rosy - whoops, forgot the sunscreen. Managed to go most of the day without checking USCIS, sadly it didn't help as there was still no news waiting for me when I got home. Really appreciating all the effort you guys are putting in though, keep up the good work!!

sounds like you had a good day! i have a feeling that you'll be having a FAB day very soon with your NOA2!!!

it was rainy and cold in toronto today but the weekend looks like it's going to be beautiful! i'll remember to wear sunscreen though i'll look like a lobster otherwise.

i don't check uscis every day at this point. i did at the beginning but with CSC moving slowly i figure once a week is likely good enough. give it a couple more months and i'm sure i'll be logging in every hour

I am moving to Georgia. About an hours drive north of Atlanta - near Stone Mountain if anyone knows it (thats where we are hoping to get married too.) The jobs I want are all in Atlanta so we might move closer eventually although I think Alan would like to move closer to the mountains which means going further North so we will have a bit of a tug or war on our hands. In two weeks time I will be a qualified property surveyor although I have my heart and mind set on eventually training as a special education teacher, we just can't really afford for me to go back to school right now. I already owe £10,000 from this degree which will take a life time to pay back on a dollar wage so I think I am going to try and stick with the property stuff for a bit.

i've been through georgia a number of times as my family has a mobile home in florida. always liked it there. i'm sure you will, too!

it's very hard when you're not doing exactly what you want to do professionally. but i understand sticking something out for a while. i was going to switch jobs but once we filed our K1 i decided i should just get another year in at my current job so my resume looks stronger. some days i regret it, but overall it's what's going to get me to chicago without much stress.

i'm sure you'll be able to afford going back to school within a reasonable amount of time

i had a fairly productive day at work, then spent the evening working through my finances. things are really looking up and i'm very pleased about it.

hope you all had a great day!

try waiting for the CSC's 3 to 4 months before a 1st touch after the NOA1

yup. 49 days and counting since our NOA1 and no touches or anything. BUT it's still early in the process given it could take 6 months for CSC to deal with it. *deep breath*

i agree with nich in saying 'at least you've started the process'. we just all need to remember to count down and remember the days between now and then are fewer and fewer.

Erin...so sorry your weekend didn't go very well...

what you are going through is not at all unfamiliar to any of us on this forum...

and the most important thing is that we can really understand each other...

i am trying to think that this is the hardest part ...and once we are together everything will be as it should..

but that is not entirely true either... Hard times can come up when you least expect it...

one single thing is true about this whole story... and that is our LOVE...and i know that this is what keeps us going the whole way... K1 process and everything after...

and i am sure all af us feel the same even if us girls are the "weak" ones ...lol... getting over stressed...crying ...worrying...lol

my baby helps a lot with his ever positive attitute ... he always sees things in perspective and never worries about little stuff like i do... Truth is he is a lot more mature than i am... and there is also a significant age differeence between us...

But i love that he makes me be more realistic...and down to earth... Even though deep inside me everything is a mess...i know that is not the way to handle it...and i am doing my best to stay positive

God...it's only been 2 days and already miss him so.....

david is 12 years my senior and definitely has a lot more life experience. i don't think he's any more mature than i am though he's just been through more than i have so knows when something is worth getting worked up about (or not).

in some ways i'm glad the weekend wasn't rosy and perfect. we had to take time to deal with things and talk about where we're at as individuals and within the relationship.

i've finally come to the realization that i am trying way too hard because of this feeling i have that i have to do SO MUCH MORE due to the distance when in reality if i can just relax and be good to myself, we'll both be better off. i've been struggling with this for months, feeling like we're losing something if we're not in regular contact like we once were. (actually, constant contact would be more accurate.) and feeling like i'm letting him down if i'm not constantly there for him. not true at all!and we still talk about 5 nights a week... and i know just because he's busy doesn't mean that he's not thinking of me or wanting to be with me. i feel like i was being so childish and unfair.

i've been in long distance relationships before but nothing that was ever this significant. it was always all about having fun, nothing serious. no one who i thought i'd be with for more than a couple of months. okay, maybe weekends what i have with david is so different from those experiences. i'm glad i'm calming down about it all. it shouldn't be this difficult. and i thank you all for reading my insane outbursts

So out of curiosity where are we all going when we get the process done and dusted ???

i'll be in evanston, il, just north of chicago. i really like it there. i suppose that's a good thing! the arena where we skate and play hockey is only 1/2 a block down the street, and i have other friends in and around the city. i'm quite lucky in that respect as i already know a lot of folks there. i really can't wait to get to start living day-to-day there, taking chicago transit, biking over to the lake, eating chocolate cake from portillo's!!! toronto and chicago are fairly similar, in my opinion, so i don't think i'll have much adjusting to do. well, maybe just getting used to driving again. in toronto i bike and walk everywhere but in evanston a car comes in handy... especially for trips to target!

I'm going to be the last one in this thread

Those are vibes~~~~ going to VSC for you Bex. You're coming up soon. They seem to have picked up at VSC with 4 already approved this week and it's only Tuesday. Last week it didn't pick up til the end of the week. I think that's encouraging.

yes, it is definitely encouraging! bex - you're next!

i never realized how negative i can be until i wound up in this situation. i'm really horrid at times.

So sorry you had a bummer weekend Erin. That's enough to make any of us horrid. I hate disappointment so much. The weekend you had planned went awry and then too many other things happened to to screw it up instead of salvage it. I'm thinking the bad luck is behind you now. It's encouraging how CSC kicked butt last week with 32 approvals. A toast to a better week. Cheers!

disappointment. that is a good way of putting it. i *was* disappointed that he didn't come here. he has only been able to visit once and i've been to evanston 7 times since the last week of december. we are still really happy that we got to see each other, even if there was some stress. but stress is reality so it's not necessarily a bad thing. we got through it!

yes, cheers to a better week!

where's the little drinky drinky emoticon?! this might do...

Erin lovely is there any progress? .... I'm taking your lack of presence as a good sign. You need a naughty weekend with David. Hope everything is sorted and your plans are back on track.

the progress was a bit forced and i really should have just relaxed and stayed home to spend time with friends. instead i wound up in a complete panic, running about to get on the 6:30pm bus from toronto to chicago on friday. i got to david's by 9:30am saturday and never really recovered. i wasn't very 'up' this weekend and spent a lot of time crying and feeling horrible. david and i have been having some tough times individually. the result has been significantly reduced communication from him, and me trying way too hard and feeling very, very sad about it all. we did talk about it at length over the weekend but i don't expect anything will change. i have to find a way to be happy in the situation and to stay positive. i never realized how negative i can be until i wound up in this situation. i'm really horrid at times.

any advice on this would be most appreciated. i am causing myself far too much stress and i know it makes things difficult for david. (maybe it's tied in with my financial struggles right now? not sure. i have two meetings today with two different 'experts' on the subject to see what my options are. i am sure there will be a great sense of relief once i know what my path will be.)

i also met lucas' mom (david's ex) this weekend. all was going well until she saw the engagement ring and now there are some issues that david will have to deal with. *sigh*

my trip back to toronto last night was a complete disaster. long story short, the bus left on time but was 2 hours late getting into detroit so i missed my connection (meaning i would be late for work and, given my supervisor's bad attitude and short temper, could have likely been fired). bless my parents who drove 9 hours out of their way to pick me up in detroit, drive me to toronto and then drive themselves home.

i'm quite sick today, and very tired, but it feels like my luck is starting to change. very much looking forward to getting work and the two meetings out of the way, then getting a good night's sleep.

i'm sorry if this seemed very negative or down. it's just been a tough time and the thought of this taking another year (likely given the finances) has really been doing my head in given the distance and isolation i've been feeling lately.

all that said, i'm VERY GLAD to see some approvals coming out of CSC and for march filers in general. it's nice to have something to celebrate today!

Oh no Erin I'm sending you the best possible vibes!! I hope everything works out for you guys.

Nic I want to be touched, pushed, kicked, abused ANYTHING!! They haven't moved our case since 28.03 and to be honest I think that is just down right rude! Would like to know that it is being put on another shelf or in another box ... it doesn't mean much but at least it means its not lost!!

thanks bex. as my friend toni says - if it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you trouble! david is at the shop right now and we will hopefully know within the hour. good thing it's so busy at work and i'm distracted for the moment.

i'd like a good kick from CSC these days. anything.

woohoo! congratulations!!!

looks like CSC has been working harder this week. how lucky for all of us

congratulations ANA!!! that is fantastic

speaking of positive vibes, david was supposed to be on his way to see me but has some potentially serious car issues happening. please cross your fingers, send us positive vibes, whatever you can do. we have been so looking forward to this weekend and now i'm sitting and waiting and hoping but also wondering when i'll get to see him again.

*sigh*

congratulations!

woohoo! congratulations!!!

Darren and I had no idea how long this process would take, so we opted for a civil ceremony first and a celebratory service (for friends and family) later.

Thats indeed what we're doing also, better safe then sorry as my SO always says ^^

yes, indeed! we're doing same. there's enough to deal with without trying to plan some big shindig... though, we're going to go to vegas to renew our vows with friends and family so we can have a dueling elvis sing-off during our ceremony. well, unless our friends agree to do it for us somewhere closer to home (which wouldn't suprise me)

hang in there! the stress is understandable, but you will get there in time.

It's just unfair that you've been kept waiting for so long! You've been such an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to many others here.

yes, to me, too!

i don't know what i can say other than 'hang in there' and i'm sure you're sick to death of hearing that. i am sending ~positive vibes~ your way and will light a candle for you both tonight.

aravis! love the new pic!!!

congratulations!!!