Omolarami

Folks here are eager for approvals, and it is Wednesday, so here is our lucky Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke:
==============================================
AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED...
 
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.  I took her to a gas station. And that's when the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."  He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"  "Nah, she can order for herself."  And that's when the fight started...

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.  I told her that the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream would.  And that's when the fight started...
 
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"  It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.  "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.  I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"  And that's when the fight started...
 
"Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"
"No, the dress doesn't make you look fat.  You ARE fat!"
And that's when the fight started...
 

Let us begin this thread with an Official "We're Starting a New VAWA Thread" Joke:
===========================
Q:  What do you call a belt made of wristwatches?
A:   A waist of time!
 

It is Sunday, and therefore time for our approval-evoking (if correlation = causation) Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke:
================================
QUESTIONS THAT LAWYERS ALLEGEDLY ASKED WITNESSES DURING TRIALS
 
"Now, Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
 
"The youngest son, the 20-year-old:  How old is he?"
 
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
 
"Were you alone or by yourself?"
 
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
 
"Did the defendant kill you?"
 
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
 
Q:  "So the date of conception [of the baby] was August 8?"
A:  "Yes."
Q:  "And what were you doing at that time?"
 
Q:  "You say the stairs went down to the basement."
A:  "Yes."
Q:  "And these stairs, did they also go up?"
 
Q:  "You went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A:  "I went to Europe, sir."
Q:  "And you took your new wife?"
 
Q:  "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A:  "I have been since early childhood."
 
Q:  "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A:  "By death."
Q:  "And by whose death was it terminated?"
 
Q:  "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A:  "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q:  "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A:  "No; he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy."