SnowyTater

Besides the issue of celibacy and even of homosexuality (though I don't go with that at all), I think the "nurture" argument might find more support by looking at how traditional Catholicism is, in general. My understanding is that it's a very orthodox, long-standing form of religion and worship with lots of emphasis placed on ceremony. Tradition is upheld and maybe revered more than it would be in other denominations, and I think maybe that slots people (including the priests) into a more narrow and defined social role that they must play.

My train of thought here is that if Catholicism is still deeply rooted in stuff going back to the Romans, then associated with that is still the idea of pederasty (not just as pedophilia but as an older man "teaching"/training a younger man), of hierarchy of not only God but also man (aka, man is above woman; maybe it's hard for a man in such a fixed traditional mindset to be attracted to a woman, if he doesn't consider her equal), and of certain people holding a level of power within the Church. I think the issue of 'male-male' sex or pedophilia man-boy sex here isn't so much to do with homosexuality as we understand it today, or of pedophilia as we understand it today, but more just the tradition of "men are higher and more powerful beings; we must teach each other and initiate each other into the 'brotherhood'" or something. It's a big chain of male power: maybe the pedophilic priest had the same thing done to him as a child, so when he gets older he 'returns the favor' onto another kid. Not saying there's not still Freudian sexual perversions there or anything, just that I think it also has a lot to do with image and tradition.

Nothing against Catholic church in general though. Care.

Everyone's so incredibly sensitive I keep being amazed.

"Boy" (or "girl" since people are bringing it up) doesn't personally offend me at all, I just consider that colloquial. I'm in SC though, yes...I know it has historical associations as how you'd address slaves, but that doesn't mean it's the word's only association. I don't think it's meant as demeaning...to be honest I don't even think it was probably meant to be demeaning in slave days; I think probably slave owners called their own sons 'boy' too.

I know in the south we still say that a lot, and I do hear girl a bit now that I think about it, too...I've never heard it as offensive. Actually, when my mom first found out I 1. had an "internet boyfriend" and 2. had had one since I was 15 and 3. Wanted to fly across the ocean to see him for a couple weeks by myself still as a minor (:D:D) she wrote an email to Iain's mother in which she said something like "Tell that boy to"...I don't know, behave, not lay a hand on me, whatever else

And Iain's mom was a bit terrified of just that 'that boy' phrase actually and I didn't get why at all but thought it was a US-UK culture clash, not south-everyone else in the world. Hmm

Bah I still say everyone's too sensitive

I can't think of anything else.

How come when I first joined the forums whenever ago I said something obnoxious like "I'm glad my SO's scottish at least, I guess we'll have an easier time since he's anglo" and everybody jumped on me and said it's all equal and case by case etc and now everybody's saying it's NOT

See this stuff messes with my delicate little head Which is it? I don't know whether to be idealistic or cynical

F%kcuinG!!W!! COLLEGE RARRGGGHHH sttupid bachelor's essay just DIE will you everyone to my house after graduation i'm building a BONFIRE OF ALL THIS #######!!!!!

lkasjflskjflkGRRR~!~!

Make it STOP!

ZeeNusah hadn't posted when I was writing this. If there are any contradicting answers refer to ZeeNusah's, they know more what they're talking about than me

Hey Cass...trying to understand all of your questions and where you're at in the process and everything.

I strongly advise that you don't make any really tight plans around projected dates for your processing. The time can really take anywhere as little as THREE months, some I've seen, up to years...it shouldn't take years unless something goes terribly wrong, but it's happened. Just don't get in a situation where you or your fiance are stuck in S. Korea and need to be somewhere else.

You'll get the NOA1 probably in another couple weeks if you haven't already yet - all of that you can check online and don't have to do anything for. "Awhile" after that, anywhere from a couple more weeks to months and months, you'll get the NOA2. You don't have to do anything during all this time, but you can't really predict what's going to happen. You might have RFE's (request for more information) you'll have to deal with, but that also shouldn't be a problem to do from S. Korea.

If your fiance doesn't want to go to his interview until at least July, just sit on the packet 3 for a little bit when you receive it. Or go ahead and send packet 3 in but hang onto the checklist. Once he's sent that in they schedule an interview. I think you could probably put in a written request that you would like the interview to be after a certain date, but maybe no guarantees there. Your NOA2 is good for 4 months but they tell you to send packet 3 back to them asap...

The country he's from shouldn't matter from the US adjudicators standpoint, but it'll make a difference in what he has to do for his embassy. Check the regional subforums since those guys will know more specific information for you.

And as far as I know, he'll only need his passport when he's ready to fly to enter the US.

Your steps are:

Petition I-129F

NOA1

NOA2

Packet 3 sent out, send it back in

Checklist: must get your medical, police report, etc. (your fiance probably will have to be back in Iraq for this)

Send in, interview scheduled

Interview

Visa (if all goes well)

Good luck.

They're only at this point strictly interested in your primary evidence that you were actually together. Use your passport stamps and the itineraries, that's proof enough. Send in the hotel bill receipt too.

I sent in a bunch of secondary evidence with mine just in case it helped (the letters and photos and whatnot), but if you're not going to see your SO until you've actually got the visa, you might want to hang onto a few of these items until the interview. They want to see evidence of ongoing relationship then; maybe they wouldn't be so impressed if you only showed them a bunch of stuff that they'd already seen. (though presumably by the time of the interview you will have more emails/phone bills at least).

I would send in a little bit of secondary but that's just me. At least a couple pictures. Mine weren't dated, I just estimated the date and location on the back in pencil.

If you're a little short your fiance's mother can also show proof of any assets she has and since it's so close, hopefully that'll make up the difference. She can use her house, stocks, or just pure savings. Instructions on the Affidavit form tell you how much extra this has to be - I *think* it's 3 times the amount of however much you're short.

Omg you're ALL cat people!!!! ####### cats are so mean and useless and ####### at life! Cats suck so amazingly much what are you all doing

AAAHHH!

I'm very disappointed in all of you!

Thanks for the reply I know people go to visit their SOs all the time, but I just wanted to make sure. Especially always before I've gone straight to Edinburgh and this time going to London, so might look suspicious just that I deviated for the first time in five years and big scary new airport

Nah man I've been tons I love it. Really going to miss getting to be there for weeks or months at a time since we probably won't have the money to visit too often once Iain gets over here. It kind of totally beats the US imo but what can you do

Kind of weird I see you're in Scotland too AND your SO's local office is Charleston, I'm going to the College of Charleston. We're all parallel

Well, the French do have that reputation of just being "f&cking french sometimes," as Eddie Izzard says

I wonder if they are just brats or if they're reacting to everyone calling them brats for years and years.

I went to France when I was like...14, I think, don't remember too much of it to be honest with you other than being very underfed the whole time. Our tour guide assured us that the typical french meal was a croissant and coffee in the morning, then they basically just DIDN'T EAT LUNCH and might if they got hungry pop down to the fruit stand for an apple at like 2, and then generally had a late drawn out but small dinner at about 9 at night of salad and cheese and such.

She was just a big LIAR and must have hated us American fatties or something, I don't know why she said all that

But yeh when I was there had two shopkeepers in the same day just...refuse to sell us anything, just would shake their heads if we tried (and we weren't being rude or loud or anything at all, though granted I didn't know any french other than the basic 'excuse me' and 'thank you' at this point ). And then some man touched my 14-year-old #######

Screw France

Pavlovian conditioning - Every time he goes to light up kick him hard in the ahem.

Pavlovian I've only ever heard of as being a REWARDS system but I think this might work better.

While this is opened up and half relevant guys, I need to ask because I'm flying to see my SO (my Scottish guy) in about a month.

I'm the USC going into Scotland, we have the NOA2 and packet 3 will have been sent off by then, so:

Am I going to have any problems getting into the UK? I didn't know if the USC also had to provide evidence of "ties" to home, even though that doesn't really make sense since obviously trying to get him over here, not vice versa

But it could be a problem if I do need "ties" because I will have just graduated college and won't have a job yet at all, it's going to very much be a transitional no-ties-at-the-moment time

Even if that wasn't the Canadian law and you could legally defend that it was only ceremony, I really wouldn't take the risk before you've entered the US on the K1. You definately wouldn't want to tell them about your "just ceremonial marriage" as it'd raise some eyebrows and why put extra pressure on yourself, but then if they somehow found out it'd look terrible that you didn't tell and like you were trying to hide it. Double-edged sword.

Hey Sue,

I'm sorry I can't help you, haven't heard anything of anyone having to resubmit packet 3. And I don't even know what AP stands for

But I know there's a way you can get your case extended past those 4 months that the NOA2 is initially good for, if there's a reason the embassies and everyone doesn't process your case on time. I would have thought the same sort of recourse or consideration would be taken for things like medicals and police reports expiring.

If there was a filing fee in itself that you're having to pay again (but I don't think there is for the packet 3, is there? ) I would call the embassy and ask about it or complain some. Maybe there's a way they could waive it. But medicals and police reports, being separate from the government, I guess you do have to pay again even though it really sucks

I don't know what's happened that's pushed your case back but it sounds like it's been pretty bad. If I were you two I would just stay on them as much as you can. Keep calling if you have questions, keep inquiring if your case isn't moving. Have you (the USC) contacted your congressman or senator? This seems to have worked for a lot of people actually. Usually it sounds like it worked in getting the NOA2, so maybe it won't be too helpful now that it's out of the US, but it'd definately be worth a shot I think. Maybe Ahmed can write or contact a local official that represents him there?

Good luck

I have definately lusted after SEVERAL cartoon characters and EVEN video game characters. My god what would the point of life be if you haven't!

Let's see:

That redhead kid from Captain Planet

Zell from Final Fantasy VIII

The Resident Evil guy with the red trench coat. Even though I've never played, I know a hottie when I see one

omg Dmitri from Fox's Anastasia movie

Um...Shrek?

Sure there's more.

What's a doughboy, or a fritter? o_O I know what apple fritters are....mmm. Don't think about that

I think American tourists are very touristy just within the US, it's not just a culture clash thing, it's just a...hey I'm in tourist mode thing. Tourists are a bit annoying but really I overall am always amused by them. I love how any of them, Americans, Asian (probably Chinese or Japanese but not assuming), always just walk really slow and they're wearing their blatantly tourist shirts and then they just STOP in the middle of the danged sidewalk and you almost fall over them. All the time doing that. I just got back from the store a few minutes ago and had to dodge several thousands of these guys just to get there.

Meh...if it's about fun nation bashing the French are annoying as heck They came to Charleston like a week ago for this fashion show. All in their black outfits and smoking in people's faces, generally giving everyone and everything a discerning condescending kind of look, talking loudly on cellphones, etc.

But I like when a tourist admits they're a tourist and just kind of bumbles around and doesn't try to pretend that he's otherwise It's sweet I think.

Mark and I have both gained weight since we got married. We believe in doing everything together. It's beautiful.

You ARE beautiful, it's great

I gain a bit of weight every time I get to be with Iain, so I know it's gonna be a terrible struggle when we marry. It's gonna be my fresh veggies and calorie counting vs. his boxed pizzas and chinese and bags of chips and cookies. He's one of these tiny guys that doesn't just grab a handful of cookies, no, just takes the WHOLE DAMN BOX and sits and consumes them. After a bag of chips. After a huge dinner. I'm worried about him NOW no matter that he's so small developing diabetes or something

Plus I'll be moving back into my mom's house for awhile in a month, and we'll live there awhile, and that's good ol' comfort food southern cooking and oh geez, AND I won't be in a downtown anymore where I can walk everywhere. I'm just screwed

But one of the hardest things really is recognizing the health aspect and caring what you eat. When I'm with Iain I don't care and have fun because he makes me feel so so comfortable and good about myself, I feel beautiful and good no matter what I weigh. So that's on the one hand a really great thing but on the other potentially dangerous

Such an unscientific seeming article.

Looks is totally all about your attitude, and that ONE SECRET INGREDIENT, as shown by this most currently awesomest commercial:

sexy

To be all generalizing I think women are often more roundabout and subtle and manipulative in how they pose things anyway I bet a lot of women have effectively MADE their man propose to them without the man even knowing it

All the same, just a different style

Can't pretend to know much about the business side of all this stuff but I'm stressing that I booked my next flight with United instead of the usual Continental. Not too much neg. publicity with United so far, but I haven't heard a word against Continental. I hope it's all straightened out in a month.

I don't get stressed out at airports and I don't typically mind flights being delayed - never had one canceled. But I've also never HAD to be somewhere or already paid for a hotel room that I'll be missing, or anything like that. In my experience the customer service has always been pretty decent in accomodating people when things are delayed or you miss a flight. I think a lot of it can't be helped. I guess weather conditions and traffic backup really is to be expected. Really I'm surprised when a plane leaves on time.

Had one several-hour delay last year where something was broke on the plane and the engineers were out there, plus there was no crew so they had to fly some poor guys in kind of 'emergency' from a different airport. They got it all together for us though it took like five or six hours I think. Actually I remember people being pretty subdued and quiet about all this, nobody really b|tching about it. When we finally got to board people were more just like "And you're sure everything's fixed...you know you can take extra time " and casting kind of sympathetic grateful eyes at the crew that'd come in for us. I thought it was very civil.

I don't know what the differences are but I wish we could get crazy cheap short flights like Europe does. We need an EasyJet They make you pay for your drinks and food and extra bags and stuff like that which I'm absolutely fine with because I usually don't want any of that anyway. Maybe that'd be a better way to pull in more money while keeping ticket prices down.

I saw on the news a few months ago a company's being launched that will hopefully be cheap; the funding is going to come from the fact that everything in the plane, walls, cushions, tabletray, etc., will be covered in advertisements. That's absolutely fine with me

Oh man :\ I'm sorry you guys.

I think it sounds pretty unusual that you would have had to wait those first six months. I think I would have contacted them earlier than that. You guys have incredible patience.

It sounds like there has been a lot of activity on it in the past few days/weeks now that you've called. It sounds to me like probably your file actually got lost or just buried for those first six months, was hiding in a corner or something. Something happened. It's good that you called and that the nice person you talked to got it out of holding for you. I'd say now it's processing regularly, probably, but unfortunately that means it's as if you've just now sent it in and now you have to wait in the 'regular' line. It should be a lot faster than what you've waited already I hope, but I don't know that there's anything you can really do.

I've heard success stories with contacting your congressman, but as insane as it sounds like to say now after eight months, I say wait. It sounds like it's in normal processing now. If you'd posted months ago I would have advised you to call them and contact your congressman, but now there really might not be anything they can do.

Sounds like virgillionaire knows a lot more about it all than I would. I'd take his advice and fill out that form.

I hope it all works out soon. Stay strong guys.

Omg

Okay...I might not make it through this whole list xD

1. Put state and country, sure. It's okay to abbreviate both of those but I'd put Pennsylvania or PA, USA, not PA/USA because that just looks weird imo.

2. I think it's safe to put 'none' in for Fernando's middle name. Put 'none,' not "None," and then it should be even more obvious.

3. I wouldn't abbreviate Mexican names/places as the adjudicator is going to be much more unfamiliar with this stuff. It's absolutely fine to print the form and then fill in whatever you can't fit with a pen. I'd put the state name too if it IS a state. If it's...a district or province or something like that, then don't. I don't know anything about Mexico but I didn't know it had states.

4. Don't leave anything blank on the form as people have gotten RFEs for this. Put N/A or none wherever it's applicable.

5. First box 'none', rest of the boxes N/A. Again, leave nothing at all blank. This is in the instructions.

6. same answer.

And oh yeh to save you some serious heartache - with anything on the form that wants a date or a year or anything, I'd just go ahead and leave that blank and then fill it in by hand. The forms screw up and like to put either 0000 or ++++ and not fit in all of '2008', etc. It drove me crazy and I couldn't ever get rid of it. If you just don't TOUCH these boxes you'll save a couple hours of going AAAHH.

G-325:

1. he needs to suck it up and get their birthdates. Maybe he can ask a sibling or aunt or uncle or something. Not worth getting an RFE over this - you might not would but seriously.

2. fill in all boxes

3. When you came back to the US, did you maintain the same residence in Italy? I don't know, this is one of those 'too much info is better than not enough' situations. I'd put 'none' on the form, but then also "see attached." Attach a printer sheet of paper to the form saying something like "In Regards to Question Blah on the G-315A Form". Then explain that you were periodically in Italy for college from this month to this month, these years to these years, etc., and that you maintained permanent residence in the US and came home for summers. If you have the addresses or even just the town name of Italy that you can put down, that's great. more detail the better. They probably don't care but you want to not look like you're hiding anything.

Sign and date this form and put it behind the G-325.

They want Fernando's addresses...there's somewhere in these where they ask all of your residencies up in the past 5 years. I think a lot of people have to attach a separate sheet to fit all of these in. List all the places you and the places Fernando have listed, accurately as possible.

I think on the bottom caps names bit I'd leave Fernando's mid name part blank...you've already told them he doesn't have one. If you want to you can stick a post-it down here with a little arrow saying 'no middle name!' This is really just making it easy on the adjudicator, post it will get lost, whatever.

5. Put full address of Fernando's work. Indenting on the next line sounds fine.

Abbreviations are probably okay, but keep in mind just for all this paperwork in the future, any time you need to attach something to more fully explain/give more detail on a form, you can.

Okay, evidence of ongoing relationship:

Technically at this point all you have to give them is hard evidence, ie. proof that you've physically been together in last 2 years - plane tickets, restaurant receipts, hotel bills, etc.

I sent in 'secondary' evidence too for the heck of it. Gave a good sample of everything I had - 3-4 pics, 3-4 letters, 3-4 emails over an extended period of time. I went back 7 years on the emails but focused on the past 2. The big thing IS the hard evidence, so concentrate on this. Gather everything you have and make copies of everything so you're safe. Send in your passport stamps too. Highlight dates and POE's, whatever, to make it easier on the adjudicator.

Whatever you decide to send, do make the effort to organize your packet so it's not an 8 pound monster of cluttered terribleness. Write a cover letter that lists everything you've included in the packet in the order in which you've included it. I sectioned my packet off with the essentials first - ie forms, birth certificate, passport pics, letters of intent, etc.; then primary evidence; then secondary evidence.

Oh yeh. I do think you should get hard copies of photos because printed ones people might think you've messed with it or digitally altered it or something. No big deal. CVS or wherever will do it off a CD for like 10 cents a pic or something. Stick these in a plastic baggie and write the location and approximate date on the back, with your full names in case they're lost.

Translations - the one thing I can't help you with because I've never read a clear answer on this. I don't know how people handle translating things. I have read that someone took theirs to a language professor at their local college once and had him write up a little letter saying he'd translated it, certified its accuracy, etc. This person got through fine. I think people do it different ways...I'd try the regional forums to ask Spanish-speaking people and their fiances what they did, I guess. They can help you with your specific embassy too.

WHOO.

Oh yeh calm down like...a lot Try not to send them too much stuff and overwhelm them. If you get an RFE it's not the end of the world and only sets you back like a couple weeks. You're in for a long ride.

aww that means i wont get $300 from that tax rebate thing then right?

That's right! I found out last weekend when my mom found some obscure clause. Even if we make the $3000 salary a year, which I do, to qualify for the $300, you ain't gettin it!

I got over it pretty fast. Sheesh I'm a suburban kid and incredibly lucky as it is and I think it saves them money if they claim us as dependents, so power to them.