doodlebugg

Think of it this way:
no more fighting over the tv clicker
you don't have to cook anything if you don't want to
all the covers are now yours and you can sleep in the middle of the bed
etc.......
and in no way is this restricted to mena men!!!

Kat I don't look at it as not having made it. I look at life now as a big journey having many bumps on the road to whatever desitinies we encounter. My relationship with my husband overall was very good. I loved him, he loved me and we had many many good times together. In the end it wasn't meant to be I guess but that's just life.
Marriage with someone from MENA if you are an American is hard. Marriage is hard anyway without putting cultural differences in the mix. Then add whatever bad stuff you want, whether it be abuse, neglect, mental illness, etc. and you've got yourself quite a challenge. If you already have kids then add that to the big stew. Seriously a person has to be very strong to go through what some of us go through and come out ok in the end.
All that being said I would not trade one day...ok maybe *one* day....of my marriage with him for anything. As the old saying goes, "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Although I'm still very sad, I know that in time I will heal and will be left with some beautifully awesome memories of laughter, joy and love.

Kat I don't look at it as not having made it. I look at life now as a big journey having many bumps on the road to whatever desitinies we encounter. My relationship with my husband overall was very good. I loved him, he loved me and we had many many good times together. In the end it wasn't meant to be I guess but that's just life.
Marriage with someone from MENA if you are an American is hard. Marriage is hard anyway without putting cultural differences in the mix. Then add whatever bad stuff you want, whether it be abuse, neglect, mental illness, etc. and you've got yourself quite a challenge. If you already have kids then add that to the big stew. Seriously a person has to be very strong to go through what some of us go through and come out ok in the end.
All that being said I would not trade one day...ok maybe *one* day....of my marriage with him for anything. As the old saying goes, "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Although I'm still very sad, I know that in time I will heal and will be left with some beautifully awesome memories of laughter, joy and love.

Kat I don't look at it as not having made it. I look at life now as a big journey having many bumps on the road to whatever desitinies we encounter. My relationship with my husband overall was very good. I loved him, he loved me and we had many many good times together. In the end it wasn't meant to be I guess but that's just life.
Marriage with someone from MENA if you are an American is hard. Marriage is hard anyway without putting cultural differences in the mix. Then add whatever bad stuff you want, whether it be abuse, neglect, mental illness, etc. and you've got yourself quite a challenge. If you already have kids then add that to the big stew. Seriously a person has to be very strong to go through what some of us go through and come out ok in the end.
All that being said I would not trade one day...ok maybe *one* day....of my marriage with him for anything. As the old saying goes, "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Although I'm still very sad, I know that in time I will heal and will be left with some beautifully awesome memories of laughter, joy and love.

Kat I don't look at it as not having made it. I look at life now as a big journey having many bumps on the road to whatever desitinies we encounter. My relationship with my husband overall was very good. I loved him, he loved me and we had many many good times together. In the end it wasn't meant to be I guess but that's just life.
Marriage with someone from MENA if you are an American is hard. Marriage is hard anyway without putting cultural differences in the mix. Then add whatever bad stuff you want, whether it be abuse, neglect, mental illness, etc. and you've got yourself quite a challenge. If you already have kids then add that to the big stew. Seriously a person has to be very strong to go through what some of us go through and come out ok in the end.
All that being said I would not trade one day...ok maybe *one* day....of my marriage with him for anything. As the old saying goes, "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Although I'm still very sad, I know that in time I will heal and will be left with some beautifully awesome memories of laughter, joy and love.

Hi - I haven't been here for a while and only popped by to see if we can get tips for my husband's AOS interview in Boston but then I saw your thread. If you can, try to imagine the roles reversed. You are in the country in Morocco where very few people speak English. It's Christmas season and no one around you celebrates it. There are no Christmas trees, no Ruldolph the Red-nosed Reindeer playing on the radio and the food is all foreign to you. What you wouldn't give for a little eggnog and a nice turkey dinner with mashed taters, stuffing, cranberry sauce, applie pie, etc.
Now imagine that you're a man who grew up dreaming of supporting his own family but there's one problem - in this country you are in, your degree means nothing and there are no jobs available other than washing dishes. Your wife is actually supporting you financially - total opposite of what would make your peers in your home country look up to you.
TV is all foreign to you and you just don't get the jokes because they're based on things you know nothing about.
Would you be depressed? What would you need to help you to feel better? Your family is thousands of miles away so there's no familiar shoulder to cry on and your pride prevents you from opening up to your wife. What would you need to help you?
I just think that instead of viewing him as not taking advantage of all the USA has to offer, maybe it would be more helpful to step into his shoes and try to see the world through his eyes right now. See if he'll go to counseling with you - present it in such a way that he'll listen to the idea, like maybe it's part of the whole immigration process and it's normal for immigrants to get counseling to help them through the transition phase. Decorate your home with little paper lanterns from the party store and make some Moroccan dishes. If I were in Morocco with no family, the smell of a homemade turkey dinner would certainly make me crack a smile and feel loved. Try to see if you can set up Skype so that he can talk to his family. Talking to my husband's sisters definitely improved his spirits in the beginning.
Most importantly try to find him a job. You might think he can do this on his own but seriously things are different here and he will need help. Once he starts working he'll get some self esteem, make a few friends and who knows, maybe turn his depression inside out.
I wish you luck. The first year of any marriage is hard but throw a totally different culture into the mix and you have yourself on a rollercoaster. Fasten your seatbelt and hook up with some other wives who have been through it.

Hi - I haven't been here for a while and only popped by to see if we can get tips for my husband's AOS interview in Boston but then I saw your thread. If you can, try to imagine the roles reversed. You are in the country in Morocco where very few people speak English. It's Christmas season and no one around you celebrates it. There are no Christmas trees, no Ruldolph the Red-nosed Reindeer playing on the radio and the food is all foreign to you. What you wouldn't give for a little eggnog and a nice turkey dinner with mashed taters, stuffing, cranberry sauce, applie pie, etc.
Now imagine that you're a man who grew up dreaming of supporting his own family but there's one problem - in this country you are in, your degree means nothing and there are no jobs available other than washing dishes. Your wife is actually supporting you financially - total opposite of what would make your peers in your home country look up to you.
TV is all foreign to you and you just don't get the jokes because they're based on things you know nothing about.
Would you be depressed? What would you need to help you to feel better? Your family is thousands of miles away so there's no familiar shoulder to cry on and your pride prevents you from opening up to your wife. What would you need to help you?
I just think that instead of viewing him as not taking advantage of all the USA has to offer, maybe it would be more helpful to step into his shoes and try to see the world through his eyes right now. See if he'll go to counseling with you - present it in such a way that he'll listen to the idea, like maybe it's part of the whole immigration process and it's normal for immigrants to get counseling to help them through the transition phase. Decorate your home with little paper lanterns from the party store and make some Moroccan dishes. If I were in Morocco with no family, the smell of a homemade turkey dinner would certainly make me crack a smile and feel loved. Try to see if you can set up Skype so that he can talk to his family. Talking to my husband's sisters definitely improved his spirits in the beginning.
Most importantly try to find him a job. You might think he can do this on his own but seriously things are different here and he will need help. Once he starts working he'll get some self esteem, make a few friends and who knows, maybe turn his depression inside out.
I wish you luck. The first year of any marriage is hard but throw a totally different culture into the mix and you have yourself on a rollercoaster. Fasten your seatbelt and hook up with some other wives who have been through it.

Hi - I haven't been here for a while and only popped by to see if we can get tips for my husband's AOS interview in Boston but then I saw your thread. If you can, try to imagine the roles reversed. You are in the country in Morocco where very few people speak English. It's Christmas season and no one around you celebrates it. There are no Christmas trees, no Ruldolph the Red-nosed Reindeer playing on the radio and the food is all foreign to you. What you wouldn't give for a little eggnog and a nice turkey dinner with mashed taters, stuffing, cranberry sauce, applie pie, etc.
Now imagine that you're a man who grew up dreaming of supporting his own family but there's one problem - in this country you are in, your degree means nothing and there are no jobs available other than washing dishes. Your wife is actually supporting you financially - total opposite of what would make your peers in your home country look up to you.
TV is all foreign to you and you just don't get the jokes because they're based on things you know nothing about.
Would you be depressed? What would you need to help you to feel better? Your family is thousands of miles away so there's no familiar shoulder to cry on and your pride prevents you from opening up to your wife. What would you need to help you?
I just think that instead of viewing him as not taking advantage of all the USA has to offer, maybe it would be more helpful to step into his shoes and try to see the world through his eyes right now. See if he'll go to counseling with you - present it in such a way that he'll listen to the idea, like maybe it's part of the whole immigration process and it's normal for immigrants to get counseling to help them through the transition phase. Decorate your home with little paper lanterns from the party store and make some Moroccan dishes. If I were in Morocco with no family, the smell of a homemade turkey dinner would certainly make me crack a smile and feel loved. Try to see if you can set up Skype so that he can talk to his family. Talking to my husband's sisters definitely improved his spirits in the beginning.
Most importantly try to find him a job. You might think he can do this on his own but seriously things are different here and he will need help. Once he starts working he'll get some self esteem, make a few friends and who knows, maybe turn his depression inside out.
I wish you luck. The first year of any marriage is hard but throw a totally different culture into the mix and you have yourself on a rollercoaster. Fasten your seatbelt and hook up with some other wives who have been through it.

Hi - I haven't been here for a while and only popped by to see if we can get tips for my husband's AOS interview in Boston but then I saw your thread. If you can, try to imagine the roles reversed. You are in the country in Morocco where very few people speak English. It's Christmas season and no one around you celebrates it. There are no Christmas trees, no Ruldolph the Red-nosed Reindeer playing on the radio and the food is all foreign to you. What you wouldn't give for a little eggnog and a nice turkey dinner with mashed taters, stuffing, cranberry sauce, applie pie, etc.
Now imagine that you're a man who grew up dreaming of supporting his own family but there's one problem - in this country you are in, your degree means nothing and there are no jobs available other than washing dishes. Your wife is actually supporting you financially - total opposite of what would make your peers in your home country look up to you.
TV is all foreign to you and you just don't get the jokes because they're based on things you know nothing about.
Would you be depressed? What would you need to help you to feel better? Your family is thousands of miles away so there's no familiar shoulder to cry on and your pride prevents you from opening up to your wife. What would you need to help you?
I just think that instead of viewing him as not taking advantage of all the USA has to offer, maybe it would be more helpful to step into his shoes and try to see the world through his eyes right now. See if he'll go to counseling with you - present it in such a way that he'll listen to the idea, like maybe it's part of the whole immigration process and it's normal for immigrants to get counseling to help them through the transition phase. Decorate your home with little paper lanterns from the party store and make some Moroccan dishes. If I were in Morocco with no family, the smell of a homemade turkey dinner would certainly make me crack a smile and feel loved. Try to see if you can set up Skype so that he can talk to his family. Talking to my husband's sisters definitely improved his spirits in the beginning.
Most importantly try to find him a job. You might think he can do this on his own but seriously things are different here and he will need help. Once he starts working he'll get some self esteem, make a few friends and who knows, maybe turn his depression inside out.
I wish you luck. The first year of any marriage is hard but throw a totally different culture into the mix and you have yourself on a rollercoaster. Fasten your seatbelt and hook up with some other wives who have been through it.