Y's_habibitk

I think you should email him. Ignoring someone you love(d) is a VERY temporary solution. You need to express yourself, even if its just one last time. If you call him, you give him the chance to beg and plead and tell you he loves you and possibly talk you out of it. PLEASE DO NOT BE TALKED OUT OF ENDING IT! A healthy relationship should be built on trust and love and selflessness. His actions have proved him to be selfish and not trustworthy. If this is your first love, it probably will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, even if the facts are screaming in your face. But you know deep inside that its time to end it. Here's my advice...in this order...

1st- Cancel the K-1 petition. Do this BEFORE you tell him. That way it's done and there's no going back.

2nd - THEN Email him. Take your time when you write it and be sure to say everything you want to say. This will help with the closure part of it.

3rd - Do not answer or return his calls. He can correspond via email just fine. With emails you have time to think before you make an emotional decision. Phone calls are dangerous if you are really trying to move on.

4th - Don't blame yourself. Cheating men love to blame everything and one but themselves, and the reality is, it is 100% their problem.

Finally, just know as many have said, every human deserves real, genuine, honest, love - even you. I don't know you, but I don't need to, to tell you that the red flags of your relationship are flying at full mast...and tough as it feels now, if you act now, you will save yourself years are heartache and pain. Best wishes to you.

This is exactly my advise. If you're anything like most people simply cutting contact wont give you the closure that you need. Send an email, be honest and get everything out and then start your life over. Good Luck, and stay strong.

So could you venture to say that perhaps a marriage that has a substantially older wife than husband doesnt have a good chance to make it or would you say you dont have all the facts in front of you?

To the OP: I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope you heal soon I wish I had magic words to make you feel better.

just my 2 cents, Kat..... I think it depends on alot of factors and probably also outside influences.

I also agree with what some said that some flags are ignored all along. I think everyone has had a relationship like that at some point in their life. It doesnt have to be MENA or an international relationship. People turn a blind eye, they ignore that nagging feeling that they have, and they dont listen to their gut when they are in love.

for your fact gathering I am 8 years older than Y and we will have been together for 5 years this year. I did not convert and have no plans to do so. Luckily, I also have inlaws that approve and care about me.

Generalizations can be used but everyone is different. If I had to advise anyone about marriage in general it would be to be 100% honest with yourself and dont ignore ANYTHING. There are jerks in all cultures and genders.

Ok you will have a big target on your back in Casablanca..... How does your wife look? is she 45 and 300lbs of fat? Keep it real and be honest. If you look like a miss match you got trouble. And truth be told you or more than likely older than 28yrs old yourself because most Moroccan true age is what is on his/her national card. This is no disrespect, but my husband is 4yrs older than what his national card say he is. Look at the pictures of the two of you and if you are like ugggg then buddy you really got a problem. I'm only going to be honest with you. I'm older than my husband but i'm also a nice looking attractive woman and we don't look like a miss match at all.

I dont know about the whole real age issue but I think Peace Be Still is kinda on target with the mismatch thing.

Its unfair and we would like it not to be so, but society as a whole makes judgments based on outward appearances.

Lets face it, if you see an 8 with a 2 walking down the street most people will look twice and think(maybe not admittedly) "what does he/she get out of that?"

And of course the OP said that he loves his wife so naturally he also finds her attractive but unfortunately its not about what we think and feel, its about what the relationship looks like to the consulate.

Its not about weight but being attractively matched because, PS some cultures/men appreciate some meat on the bones of their women.

Sometimes its an issue and sometimes it is not... but it is something to be aware of, thats all.

To the OP- Just be honest, think about why you love your wife and answer from the heart. But be prepared to possibly answer some uncomfortable questions... Good Luck!

What papers, will they ask for, do they need originals ? I think i have most of them here, or i sent with our papers. I think i heard that they will give me back all the papers in a sealed envelope or something that he has to bring them to the appt un-opened?

Also will we need to give them any more passport pictures?? Or will he need to bring to the interview??

should he bring stuff with him to interview like....

photos of us together,

phone records of our long talks daily

pictures of us and kids?

any other tips.

thanks

Kristen

Hey Kristen,

The guides linked above are a great place to start.

I would definately say that he should have as many pics of you guys together as possible along with pics of you and his family if you have them.

Y had copies of emails, letters via mail, phone bills and any other correspondense proof that we had. Anything to prove that you guys communicate daily or however often that you do and pics, pics, pics!

We also had letters from his mom and from my family saying how happy they were for us ect ect.

We had no problems with the Amman and they were very helpful to me when I had questions early on.

Good Luck and I hope all is smooth for you guys

Yes I agree with suf J+H=HOTTNESS cause once you do the katebktab the sheikh will give you the marriage contract so you are already married.

Once you sign the contract,you are legally married. USCIS considers the laws of marriage in the country that you married in...

The family book has nothing to do with it. There are TONS of american wives who have never even heard of the family book because their husbands never go get it done before they come here.

"technically" is exactly what USCIS is concerned with.

Good Luck

Age will always be a factor. The only one I've known who had an easy visa approval with such a significant age difference is Sofiyya. But her culture is MENA. Are you a recent convert or a long time Muslima? Are you of the MENA culture or is it foreign to you? The reason I say this is that all of this makes a huge difference to a CO. There are lots of factors that will make your relationship suspect....it is your man's duty to convince them that he is without reservation or hesitation completely prepared to spend the rest of his life with a woman who is 20 years older than him.

I'm not saying it will be denied, but I'm betting you two are in for quite an uphill battle. Good luck!

I totally agree with Staashi, everyone had some good points also.

My best advise would be to try and look at your relationship from the point of view of a skeptical consul officer and think of what questions you may have for you two and be prepared to answer them. Imagine that it is your job to find fraud in this relationship and come up with the points to prove that theory wrong. Someone said that the family is important also. I know from our experience and reading many others over the years that his family approving of you MEETING you is pretty important.

Start learning about his culture since you said you know nothing about it and that will give you some insight also, and better yet prepare you for the lifetime you are committing to with your loved one.

Your relationship will be considered fraud and you just need to prepare for that. I wish you guys nothing but good luck and patience

Class of 2008, formally Paris Heart. Nice to see the old faces here. I've missed VJ. Best wishes everyone.

hey there sweety!! I havent been on VJ forever and a day lol

not quite 05 here either... class of 07, married in 08! Still loving every minute of it

While visiting this legal website earlier today, I found some interesting replies to someone who filed a I-130 in August and who, herself, just got that "weird message" from USCIS stating that their petition had been sent back to the respective service center. The case applies to persons with pending I-130 applications. So, the question was: "Why did DoS return the petition to USCIS?" and the answers were:

1. "This occasionally happens with USCIS. They will sometimes mistakenly forward the application to DOS without actually approving it, or with incomplete information. As a result, DOS has to send it back to USCIS for them to fill in the missing information or complete the process on their end. USCIS should finish their part and issue a decision on the I-130 before sending it on to DOS again. Once the I-130 gets to DOS (the National Visa Center), DOS will contact you for the next part of the process." (author: Regina Marie Jefferies)

2. "This is an error on the part of the uscis.

They will have to make a decision on the I-130 petition by either approving or denying the petition.

Hopefully this will be rectified.

Goodluck." (author: Ekaette Patty-Anne Eddings)

I hope the above opinions will make our wait a little less stressful. As for the ones with approved petitions, again, I believe it could be a plain mistake. Good luck, everyone!

Ya! Hopefully so. I wish you guys a speedy answer!

I believe we got ours...

We got a notice from NVC saying that they received notice that Y became a legal perm resident and as a result they were sending the petition back to DOS's USCIS. Im sure thats what prompted our email/NOA. Its not that they are reviewing it again, but instead NVC sent it back to them since NVC was done with the 130(the AOS was approved).

Good luck you guys who are awaiting approvals

Thanks. I know all of the steps in the process but I think what I was driving at is that our case HAS been approved(at multiple levels) and so it did go to the DOS...

Our situation seems to be the only one(that anyone is posting about) that received the letter where our case in NOT pending approval by USCIS.

Well, its probably the same issue/error that you guys are experiencing too but its a little alarming that our case has been approved, so it "could" be sent back to USCIS from DOS.

Just an FYI, petitions can be sent back by DOS at any stage after approval if they think that USCIS approved in error. Im not sure what you mean by "At the same time, approved petitions cannot be returned to USCIS" Maybe I misunderstood what you meant but just so you know..approved cases are returned all the time to USCIS after they are "denied" at the consulate level. They go to DOS/NVC and then they go back to USCIS for review. That means they were approved by USCIS, cleared NVC and then once interviewed the consul did not issue a visa and they sent it back to DOS with recomendation for review/denial. It then goes to USCIS and you have a chance to "prove your case" again.

Your research and deduction makes sense for you. I get what you are saying about YOUR case because you havent received an approval from the service center yet so it doesnt make sense that your case would have reached NVC or DOS but that doesnt apply to our sitch. I'd love to find someone else who does not have a pending case who recieved the email/NOA

thanks though and good luck!

Y's_habibitk, to answer your question (sorry for the delay!):

The normal sequence of events after a US citizen files a I-130 form on behalf of a relative requires that USCIS informs the petitioner of any kind of decision that has been made in the case (not to mention, of any supplementary documents the former might have to submit). We simply were not communicated any sort of decision before we got the strange "petition mailed back from the Department of State" e-mail.

USCIS cannot forward files to the Department of State or the National Visa Center prior to making a decision in each case. If you read the Immigration-related information on the websites of the DoS and NVC, you will learn the same thing: USCIS releases the "yay" or "nay"; if their decision is positive, they forward the documents to NVC. I need to emphasize that at that stage or level, the petitions must have already been approved. Denied petitions cannot reach the Department of State or NVC. At the same time, approved petitions cannot be returned to USCIS. All these findings have caused me to conclude that the mysterious e-mails/letters we have recently received are a mistake. Of course, time will solve our situations and clear our worries. Good luck, everyone!

I'm back on the forum. We're going through the lifting conditions process. As always life is a rollercoater.. lol. I'm surprised I'm not seeing as many Jordanians around as I used to.

nice to see ya! good luck through lifting conditions

After having read all of the above posts and done sufficient online research, I can say this is definitely a mistake. By the way, I am one of the VJ members who got a similar e-mail & written message from USCIS on Nov. 30 for a I-130 petition I submitted for my mother. I say we should just keep our cool and wait for further information from USCIS.

Thanks for letting us know that you also received the letter but can you please explain what research that you found that lead you to believe that is "definitely" a mistake?

I think it probably is as well but Im curious if you found something that I didnt while researching. Like, have you found any other instances of cases that got the letter after their case was already approved,interviewed,approved at the consul then adjusted, GC rec'd ect? like ours...

I am a naturalized citizen and I filed an I-130 for my husband in August and I received the same notification on Nov. 29th. saying that it was returned by Dept. of State for additional review. I have been married for four years and we have a two year old daughter together. There is no reason why it should be under review. This has to be some kind of a mistake. I did not receive a letter in the mail from them as of yet. It is really hard to wait and wonder what is going on over there. So to everyone in the same boat, I wish all of us the best!!!

Good luck Anna!

Congrats guys!!

You're welcome. I think it also happened to this person here:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/284980-expidite-accepted-now-how-long/

...this mysterious "a office has received it." Maybe not, they didn't explain too well. I don't know much about this email, but your husband (that was him posting, right?) seemed stressed out and I just wanted to point out I had seen this identical email a lot recently, although I don't know what it means either. I think it's a mistake... his post really confirmed it for me (old approved petition getting identical email) but I don't have facts to back up my assessment. Anyway, glad it helped!

Ya, my husband started the thread. I guess didnt introduce myself just started typing away lol

Im not sure the one above is the same situation, but youre right.. its hard to know because the explanation is hard to decifer.

Anyway, more and more it looks like a mistake which is what both officers said at first when my husband and I called. Again, thanks alot for replying and letting us know that you have seen this lately. Its uber helpful.

I havent been on in a million years, maybe I should drop by more often

Lisa

Thanks for the link Harpa, when I checked VJ last week I couldnt find anything relevent.

I hope its just an erroneous mass email that went out. I couldnt find any other refferences anywhere to DOS asking USCIS to review approved cases except when they are sent back from the consulate with a recommendation for denial.

When I called them, the lady went through the normal schpeel of waiting 120 days and yada yada. After I told her that we had completed all of those steps all the way to a 10 yr GC, her response was "OH". She then said it could be a mistake or that DOS "found something" in the file that they want to be reviewed again.

If anyone has found out what it actually means, I am very interested. I would hate to wait the 120 days just to find out its going to be some huge PITA.

Just looking for common demoninators here, but we did just change our address. I wonder if anyone else that got the email did as well....

Hey guys

I havent been around lately either.. welcome to the new peeps

My husband was born and raised in Irbid,JO

We were married on 08

He got here via K3 in 09

We adjusted status this year and we're done with USCIS until 2020!

Still happily married!

I dont have anything profound to add.

I just wanted to say that there are some very kind women on this board who will be there for you through whatever you choose to do.

It sounds like you have a good grasp on whats going on here and you just need the strength to make the decision.

good luck

I just want to add....

WOOOO FRIGGIN HOOOOO

Im so happy to hear a long deserved respite is in order for you guys

You had a "stokes interview". Congrats on the approval

thanks

I agree in some cases that front loading may be very helpful but it's not always necessary. I guess it couldn't hurt to add some evidence along with the application. Y's habibitik, did you front load your app?

Like you, Staashi, our AOS interview was super quick. We had nearly no evidence other than some photos, our lease and cell bill showing a family plan. They asked us, as a couple, nearly no questions other than if we were still married. We were in and out in less than 10 mins.

Yes, that was my point.

Im glad to hear when people have easy interviews/visa journeys, and I think alot of people do. But you never know so why short change yourself and not include evidence that you already have on hand in the begining? Thats all I was saying. Of course if you dont have any evidence yet(like K1's who have to file AOS right away for instance), then dont sweat it!

I also frontloaded our K3 petition and during the visa interview the CO didnt want to see much evidence and it was quick and painless.

Wow, Lisa - I can't believe you guys had a Scopes Interview. Our AOS - which was 5 years ago, was a very straightforward - Hi - here's our evidence, our pictures, our driver's licenses showing same names, yada, yada, yada. We were never separated from each other. I'm so glad you all passed and that he'll be getting his greencard - awesomeness!!!

Thanks! I didnt have any doubts about it and figured we would get seperated based on what I read about AOS interviews. That seems to be pretty normal at a lot of the offices. There was another couple there before us and the husband was waiting outside alone waiting for "his turn". I guess thats how they roll in Louisville.

Thanks Aya,Olivia and MsSheesha

So here is the rundown so to speak for anyone who is interested:

The officer took me back alone first and questioned me for about 20 minutes and then brought Y in to ask him the same questions.

He wrote down my answers for every ? and then checkmarked next to them as Y answered them.

he asked about meeting, our wedding, where we stayed in JO, Y's family ect...

Then he asked about our house, how many bed and baths and the furniture in our bedroom

He then asked Yazied all the same questions..

I was so nervous but I loosened up about 10 minutes in and he seemed to smile when I told stories and laughed at myself about some of the answers

He asked to see pics and the rest of the evidence was volunteered.

IE- he asked "does Y live with you at _____ st?" me: "yes, I have a lease and some other evidence showing his address is the same, would you like to see it?" him: "yes"

He only kept a copy of a utility bill, our joint account statement and maybe one other piece of evidence and the rest we took back with us. He asked if we needed copies of any of it and that was it.

Oh ya and I have to say I was quite proud of myself because I think he was impressed with our 485 packet because he asked 2 or 3 times if I had a lawyer put it together before we started the questioning.

And to anyone who advocates that you should not frontload your app with proof should note that during the interview he only needed a few pieces of evidence from me because he had everything else in front of him and had already reviewed the evidence and case.

:soapbox sorry: I always cringe when people advise not to frontload(for 130/129 or 485's) and that additional docs arent necessary because what harm could it do to give an officer the chance to already familarize him/herself with all of your evidence?! I would much rather be safe than sorry. After experiencing it firsthand I thought I would throw that out there

Anyway,

I cant believe after a 2+ year long journey, that we are done with immi stuff for 10 years! yaaay!

Aya and Liv,

Good luck and I hope you guys have a quick approval and maybe not even have to interview

Yea Lisa!!!! That's great !

uh...we're still in the AOS process. Interview was a scathing nightmare. If there is no decision in July we will make an infopass appointment to see what the problem is.

Great to pop back in and see everyones progress

Jax

Thanks Jax!!

Im so sorry to hear. Someone told me that you had the story on your FB and I went digging for it the other day but couldnt find out what had happened. I hope its sorted out soon!

10 year green card approved! I'll post more details later but it was pretty easy and the officer was nice. He interviewed me first and then brought Y in and asked the same questions.

Thanks for the bump Aya

another one for good measure: and a big WOOOOfriggingHOOOOO! lol

Lisa

we wrote "feelance" for the time period of work without a "contract" as we had the same issue of not being able to list a definitive employer. It worked fine and is basically what it is anyway.

I hope that helps.

WOW, you have the AOS tomorrow!!! My fingers and toes are crossed for you and Yazied!

Buying a new house sounds exciting. I hope you find a good deal.

John and I are doing great, life is wonderful. It just feels great waking up next to him every morning! Although I have to admit we talk on the phone WAY less than when we used to when I was still in Egypt. We literally used to talk/text 15 hours non-stop most of the days while I was still Egypt. Now, it's always few minutes each call, because always one of us is in a rush to do something. He does work long hours so we spend less time together/talking, but we SEE each other which is a blessing of course. I mentioned that to my grandfather-in-law, and he said: "welcome to married-life."

We, finally finally finally, have my family's blessing and acceptance. It's a wonderful feeling to see them happy for my happiness.

Anything extraordinary or plain weird about the US, hmmm

Lemme think... Buildings in FL are REALLY short, younger generations are not as friendly as older generations, fresh fruits and vegetables are more expensive than canned and frozen ones, most of the people I've met talk in the terms on $$ most of the time about simple things like future plans or wishes (which do not always have to be materialistic), it can actually rain while it's still hot , the variety of snacks and dippings you have here is sometimes overwhemling , the diversity here is wonderful, the ability to express yourself freely without being judged is another plus. I can't think of anything else at the moment, but if I do later, I'll update this.

How does Yazied find the US after being almost a year here?

Im SOOOO Happy to hear about your family Aya! Thats wonderful.

Its funny you said the thing about it being hot and rainy, coming from cali to kentucky, that was VERY wierd for me also. Sometimes when I look out the window at the rain, I have to remind myself that its indeed hot out there lol

Yazied still thinks some things here are "wierd" but he's basically used to everything.

It is different of course when you are actually together at first because there is no need to talk/text 24/7. heh

I do remember thinking the same thing... "I should text Y about this, oh ya.. I'll just tell him when I get home" lol

Yazied also LOVES that you can express yourself/say whatever you want here. I think he still trips out when someone makes fun of the president or something on a show and theres no fear whatsoever about reprocussions. I pointed out that some mag at the grocery store said Obama is gay and he was shocked because something like that about their king is unheard of of course!

So, ya.. the interview is at 2 today. I took the day off and dropped J off at summer day camp and here I sit. Yazied worked late last night so he's getting some rest. Im less nervous than I thought I would be really. I just dont like interviews in any context so Im nervous about that itself but not about the outcome. I have faith that it will be fine and painless. Yazied got his nervousness out a month or so ago and now he's pretty relaxed as well.

Im happy to catch up with you Aya, you are such a sweetheart and you deserve every happy moment with John!

I'll post after the interview to let you know how it went, where is your AOS thread? I couldnt find it last night

PS- lets say, Pali please thanks

I posted something similar on the embassy forum but got no response, so I thought I would ask here.

NVC finally answered my congressman's aide's email about our interview (CC on May 11 and no date yet). They say they have 166 cases waiting for Jordan! That sounds sooo bad!

Anyone know about how many cases get interviews each month?

I am getting so depressed with all this waiting!

Ally,

I posted on one of your threads about it..