KATERINA123

28 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Well we know the OP has assets, well the cash results anyway, unclear about her husband. Anyway as others have said an equitable distribution would be a matter for the Courts and to some extent depends on the State involved.

We have a prenup that says whats mine is mine and what's his is his, but he said that this prenup means nothing and he'll still take my money, am I worried about this? not really. 

1 minute ago, R&OC said:

Katarina,

 

I would make sure that you secure all the documents you may need. Do you guys have a shared account? Do you share bills? Can you get your hands on such copies? You may also need the tax reports.

 

He filled out an affidavit of support for you. Based on that, unless you guys had a sponsor, you know what he is earning.

 

All in all, dogs that bark do not necessarily bite when it comes to division of assets. The more noise he is making right now the less concerned I am. I don't think he thought this was coming. It doesn't sound like he had a plan in place and was meticulously executing that. And to hear him say that you need to pay him etc sounds more desperate than anything.

 

If I were you, I would disengage and ignore any discussion about finances. If possible, I would book a quick weekend trip to the US and activate your GC, change your address, find a place to stay and contact a lawyer.

We share nothing, I refused to open an account with him because he is reckless with money.

I do have his tax reports because I am the one who has the password to his IRS account, he is too lazy to take care of thing, I used to do his taxes.   

I know that this is not an immigration thing, but maybe you guys know how soon I can get a divorce? I read that we need to be separated for a year before filing?

He also said that he will take 50% of my money if we divorce and that I will get nothing because everything he has is not in his name.  I said he is an idiot for thinking that. 

I don't want anything from him, just for him to leave me alone.

41 minutes ago, Nitas_man said:

Please read that link.  

 

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html

 

You’re in a gray area of the process and there is a possibility that he can make problems for you prior to entry.The actions that you say you have taken indicate at face value that you entered this marriage in good faith and if you are contacted to return to the embassy you have a (rare but priceless) right to appeal any further action on your case.  The burden of proof on him is to prove fraud, the burden of proof on you is to prove that you entered this marriage in good faith.

 

Save everything he says and does.  For example:  A request for payment in return for “keeping the green card” is a clear violation of law on his part and I’d advise you not to consider that for anything.  
 

Good luck

No way I'm gonna give him anything, he thinks he can cheat on me, use me and then blackmail me by demanding money, I have screenshots of everything he said just in case.

7 minutes ago, R&OC said:

I am so sorry you are going through this all. If he hadn't cheated, I would have put it down to last minute panic but this is a different story.

 

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I am hearing this among immigrants. We go through so much risk to be with out partners without having the advantage to experience them on a daily basis. A lot of decisions are based on faith and hope.

 

As for his personality: He is a blamer. A blamer doesn't take responsibility for his own actions or lack of actions. It won't change and gets old very quickly unless a blamer has the potential to grow up and change. So no matter what, you would have to deal with someone blaming you (or whomever) for whatever goes wrong in his or her life.

 

Since you already sold everything, go and take up that new job. Start all over! I went through a divorce before I met my husband and really had the best life ever AFTER the divorce. I wish I had known that before because I spent years fixing a marriage that couldn't be fixed (and now I am watching my ex-husbands new partner going through the exact same issues). If I were you, I would leave a little earlier just to be on the safe side even if you have to return a few days later to your home country and celebrate the festive season at home.

 

Good luck!

You are right, he is a blamer, I should have seen this a long time ago.

He always blamed his mother for everything that didn't work out in his life and now he found a new person to balm - me.

even for stupid things - a few months ago he booked a flight to come see me and he booked a hotel for us to stay so we won't have to stay with my family. when he got to the airport he realized that the flight was for the next day, he made a mistake, he didn't see that it said +1 days, and obviously he blamed me for not checking and not telling him, then he spent the week arguing with me that it's my fault he paid for one extra day at the hotel.

"you should have looked at the screenshot I sent you" 

3 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html
 

This was given to Brian.  I did it.  9FAM and literal interpretation of 9FAM is not a TOS violation and never will be.

 

There is little to nothing that can be done once a visa has been issued in the passport, and even if rescinded the beneficiary has the right to appeal it.  It is not a matter of just cancelling the affidavit.  That can be done until the physical visa is issued just as it can be done during AOS up to the time the green card is issued.  After that, the rules change, the applicant is approved to immigrate, and the process is complete.

 

I'm super scared and probably won't sleep until I get there.

He's been calling me and being very angry, he keeps saying everything is my fault for leaving, I left because my family needed me, my mother was dying.

I did everything for him, I helped him open his business, I never would have left my country if it wasn't for him, I had a good job.

I feel so sad that he is talking to me now the way he does, I was not the one who cheated.

I am scared that he will find out where I live somehow and do something to me.

What is ToS??

8 minutes ago, Boiler said:

IR1 is a family reunification visa, fascinated to see how the ToS addresses this.

What is TOS?

16 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

You have your visa, you can come. Note that he might try to notify the embassy or CBP that he'd prefer if you did not enter the US.  

 

If you are certain you want to move, you might want to come in as soon as possible.

I don't have to live with him? what if they come to check? I am worried what if they notice that only I changed the address and he didn't.

Also won't they think it's suspicious at the POE that I changed the address? 

We've been married for 2 years and 2 months, I received my IR1 visa a month ago and bought a ticket for January.

I sold my apartment, my car and quit my job, I have a new job waiting for me in the states.

Two weeks ago my husband sent me a screenshot and he didn't notice that at the top a message popped, it was from some woman and it was clear from that message that he is cheating on me (I have to admit that I kinda felt that he changed and became more cold in the past few months).

I confronted him about it and after that he started cursing me and completely changed, started accusing me, said that I abandoned him and that I should have applied form the US and not left to apply from my country, that no man would wait, basically said that everything is my fault.

Obviously I don't want to be with him anymore and I want to get a divorce, I don't want a cheating husband, he said that he doesn't want me to come anymore and said that he is going to cancel my visa and file for divorce based on abandonment.

He also said that if I want to get my green card he wants me to give him the money I got from the apartment that I sold.

Can I still come and rent my own place? can I change the address so he won't get my green card? he won't give it to me if he gets it.

Please don't judge me for still wanting to come.