NoMansLand2020

She's already telling me she wants to go back.

Pushing her away or hitting her so she will get off me so I can drive safely is not abuse.

I'll buy tickets back to the Philippines for all three of them.

She feels some trust with my mother. And has opened up to her on several occasions. She told my mother yesterday that she would try to give me a second chance, but if I hit her again it would be over. I messaged my wife bcak in regards to her debit card being blocked. That we had no idea where or who she was with and that I did not want her to be taken advantage of. I told her that I was in the wrong for hitting her. That there should never be a reason to hit anyone and that it wouldn't happen again. I told her that I would immediately enroll in an anger management program so that I could learn how to deal with my frustrations in a controlled manner. She said she would forgive me if I acknowledged that I hit her other arm which I did and said again there was no excuse for my actions. And that as mentioned above it wouldn't happen again and that I would go to counseling. She asked how could she know it wouldn't happen again. I responded that I knew that I would lose the most important thing in my life which was my her and the kids. She didn't respond to that. But responded this morning that she has decided to get a separation and that I need to turn on her debit card so she can pay rent and food as per her, I am responsible for that. I have yet to respond to this request. I think we both need to sit down and talk about things. Especially with the kids and baby on the way. Text messages don't resolve issues.

I live in the city, but we don't have good transportation system here. It's a good mile walk to the nearest bus stop. Uber could work, but it's not heavily used here, so it would be expensive to go anywhere.

This exactly. I don't know what else to say. I understand she wants a car for example, so she can be more independent and not have to rely on me to take us places. She's never driven a car, nor had a license. I'm trying to explain that I would rather not take out a loan for a car at this point because we have other things to focus on. One being a baby that will be arriving in December. I typically pay cash for everything and unfortunately the immigration process, supporting her for two years while waiting for our case to process took a huge chunk of my savings. I don't know how else to explain this to her. She has met some Filipinas online that belong to the same Church that she communicates with. I don't know them all personally, but the girl she is currently with is one of them.

Of course I would pay the support for my child. But again, she has no money to hire an attorney.

And who will pay for that? Definitely not me.

I will not if she decides to take off. She needs to come back and discuss things. We would benefit from seeing a marriage counselor and figuring things out. But if she's done, she's on her own.

We were together for about 2.5 years prior to getting married. Granted, most of our relationship was online because of the pandemic. I visited the Philippines twice before they locked down. I only left her in the car so she could cool down and have space. She knew where I was and had a phone so she could call. I didn't run off with zero explanation as to where I was going or when I would be back. She abandoned her own children for nearly 24 hours. They were scared and had no idea what was happening. Yes, we agreed to having children as soon as possible. She wanted to finish having kids so she could start her career. Sure, she could probably chose to leave, but she would be in a world of hurt. Who is going to be providing for her and the kids? She's in need of prenatal care and other medical care for the kids. How can she take care of that?

I mistyped paragraph 2. I meant to say that the kids and I very attached to each other. I typed "attracted" by mistake.

I got married to my Filipina roughly two months ago and we are already having issues. I know no marriage is perfect and all relationships require constant work. But I'm at the end of my rope and need some help. I'm 41 and she's 27. Neither of us have been married previously, but she has two young children who believe I'm their real dad. We are very attracted to each other. She's currently 6 weeks pregnant. She's a bit immature in my opinion. I currently work full time while she stays at home. Many times, she spends all day on her phone or watching TV rather than helping with household chores. I come home from work frequently to the house messy. Food from breakfast and lunch and dirty dishes all over the place. Sometimes she will do laundry and then leave the clean clothes in the basket for days staying wrinkled. We seem to argue a ton about money. I am a very frugal person and this immigration process and the wedding cost me a ton of money. I'm still young and trying to save for retirement, keep a budget and provide for my family at the same time. Her idea is that I provide even if I have to take out loans to buy things she thinks we need but are more wants than anything else. Anyhow, yesterday we took the kids to their biometric appointment as part of the AOS process. Afterwards we were going to take the kids to the local zoo. On the way, as I was driving through busy afternoon traffic, she was teasing me and pulled on my face and nose covering my eyes so I couldn't see the road. I nearly caused an accident because of it and got upset. So I hit her in the shoulder to get her attention. I don't think I hit her very hard, but according to her it caused bruising. We got to the zoo and she was obviously upset and crying. I tried to get her to talk, but she just pushed me away and told me she wasn't going with us. She ended up staying with the car while I took the two kids. We came back two hours later and she's vanished. She wouldn't answer phone calls, or messages for hours. I had no idea where she, so we just waited and waited. She responded to messages, but it's vague responses not to worry about her, that I don't care about her and that she doesn't love me anymore. She says she's with friends. Yet, I wasn't sure and didn't want to leave her. So we ended up waiting 9 hours and she never shows up. So I end up driving an hour back home with the kids and no wife and no answers really as to where she is. Today she messages me while I am at work and asks me to bring the kids back to where we were the previous day. She's obviously still upset by the way she's responding and very vague answers. I drove the kids an hour back and we wait almost 90 min for her to show with a Filipina friend that I don't know. Anyway, my wife is not making any visual contact. Keeps her back to me the entire time I am helping the kids into their car seats and handing over some clothing to her friend. I don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point. I'm upset because my kids are gone and they are upset that daddy is gone. They were pulled out of school a week before their last day. The youngest is supposed to graduate kindergarten on Tuesday. I have all their stuff at the house. Clothes, toys, identification including passports. With my wife being pregnant, she has upcoming prenatal appointments to be to and I'm concerned about her and the kids getting the care they need. Especially now that she has no money, nor insurance information on her. Is this just some silly tampo fit and she will realize the predicament she's put herself and the kids in?