EllisAndRenz

Clever. I'll look into it.

As uncomfortable as I am with sending her like that, that's what I'm thinking. Just hope we don't get an overzealous TSA agent. Wow. Shocking, but not surprising.

Oh my this is getting complicated. Thank you.

Sounds like that may be the best option. Western Union and Money Gram are a pain in the rear. I've never used Remiitly. How are they?

Actually this won't work. She leaves this weekend. No way they can get her an ATM card before she goes.

This sounds perfect. Are you SURE any bank will allow her to take out $1,000 a day?

That's kind of where I'm at. But you know how stubborn wives can be.

Sadly, she does not have a PH bank account, and never had one. For whatever reason she always lived on cash.

OK, my wife is leaving soon for Manila. One of our goals is to fix (Practically rebuild) her grandmother's house. She has the contractor lined up. Overall, she is going to want to travel with about $15,000 to cover everything. Initially I was going to tell her to utilize travelers cheques, but it is my understanding that no banks will cash them now and the Amex office has horrific rates. I'm a bit uncomfortable with her carrying that kind of cash (not to mention the forms it will trigger at the border). Any suggestions? (The contractor won't take credit cards).

So wife will be ready in July. of 2023. Wow.

Perfect. THANK YOU!

What's the filing time for the N400? The three year mark.

LOL. Nice to be remembered. Yes, time flies. Even I was surprised when my wife reminded me to file. Sounds like I'm in for a long wait. She will be ready to apply for naturalization before this is complete.

Oh, I don't know what an ADIT stamp is, but I'll have 24 months to find out. 🙂 Thank you. Good to know there are options.

The NOA (797) came really fast. But then I looked up online and saw the average processing time for my service center (Potomac) is 24 months !!! The letter only gives a 24 month extension. Should this be of concern? I can't believe this takes this long. It takes longer than her approval to come here.

This link no longer seems to work.

Agree on that. The last few years have been crazy. Now that things are settling, I agree on those parts. Sounds like I'm ready to submit. I appreciate all of the help and feedback.

Yes, she's on my health insurance. I added the health insurance cards in there. Sadly, I need to rebuild a new 401k. Will her maiden name being on some of the documents be a huge problem? What if we don't obtain her ID before I mail the packet? Thank you for the kind reply.

Wow, this snuck up on us. Time flies when you are having fun. I've just filled out her I-751. For evidence, I've included a bunch of stuff, with some caveats ... do you all think this is sufficient? Multiple complete bank statements for the last 12-18 months. (Still in her maiden name) Tax returns 2020 - 2021 (Sadly, in error, they are in her maiden name) Mortgage refinance document (Wife is on it, but they only list me on the header, there is a signature line for her on the last page) Marriage license Tons of photos of us in various parts of the country (Labeled). Including interactions with my kids and family. Several of her pay stubs from the past year We leased a townhouse for a hear before moving back to the home we own (Lease included) Her permanent residency card Her social security card Wedding photos The other issue is that her bank records are in her maiden name. We never got a chance to change it because during the pandemic it took an act of God to get an appt at the bank, and now this snuck up on us. Our tax returns are in her maiden name. Her residency card and social security card are in her name. We never got her a state ID card (she doesn't drive), but are going to try to do that on Monday or Tuesday so she has something with her address on it. Other than our bank accounts, the utility bills are all solely in my name. (I never considered opening the utility bills in both names, no advantage ... except for this) What else do I need or should I be good here? Thanks !!!

You go to therapy together to ensure that 1) They go, 2) The therapist can get the complete picture. (As described by our licensed therapist). I assume you are one as well with a differing opinion. That's fine councilor. And this ... along with my advice ... is worth what we all paid for it. Take it for what it's worth.

You are absolutely right about even alcohol. One glass of wine and my wife's personality changed dramatically to one that wanted to pick a fight about anything and everything. (She only weighs 80lbs, so that's a lot more for her than the rest of us) We had to remove that from the equation. Good point to add.

I'm going to jump in here. Not sure if this will be helpful or not. After my wife got here, also from the Philippines, she went thru a period of time where she acted similar to this. She was physically and mentally abusive to me, all the while screaming I was abusive to her when I would never even consider laying a hand on her. (Don't EVER do that, because then it's ALL on you.) She got jealous over things that happened only in her dreams. (You ever get yelled at for something that happened in someone's dream? And asked to apologize for it? I did!) She kept threatening to "go home" or to "go to a Philippine shelter". (Someone told her they exist). At one point, after being physically assaulted, I called the police. Since I had a mark on me and she didn't have anything, the police were going to charge her with abuse. I declined, but that stuff stopped quickly. She told me she was a bit shocked that in the USA they would charge a woman with abuse. Sometime (maybe before, or after) she called some Philippine "mission" and they told her they had nothing to do with people's marriages. (I still don't know who she called, but it was weird) After that, one of our Philippine neighbors essentially told her to cut it out. (On these last items, I didn't have to do anything, the stars just aligned in our favor) She subsequently got a job that she absolutely loves. She's turned around. She's NEVER physically abusive anymore. Occasionally she's emotionally abusive(?) or maybe manipulative, but she's gotten so much better with that, and we are at the point now where I can go "hey, you are doing that again." I've had my faults too (aren't we all a work in progress?), but we've grown together thru this process. Consider this: Her voyage here was crazy for her from a mental standpoint. She's left her whole world behind. She is alone, except for with you. She's about as far away from home as she can get. Don't underestimate what that does to any person, especially one that has likely never traveled outside of her country. She's transitioning from a long distance relationship to being a full time wife and partner. That doesn't excuse the threats or the abuse. In fact, I'd recommend asking her to go to therapy together, so a third party can help you find methods to work thru these things. Many Filipinas have insane level jealously issues, even when unjustified. She may need therapy to learn to deal with those feelings, which likely drive some of her behavior. Now many have said abusers never change. That's often true. But it's not 100% true. It wasn't for me. My wife and I are once again crazy mad in love with each other, and I can't think of not wanting to spend the rest of my life with her. For the first year or so after she got here, it was pure hell. But now, it's nice. She's back to being the girl I fell in love with when I was living in Manila. Our relationship is stronger than ever. I hope this same outcome for you. You have been given a lot of really great perspectives here. I hope you find a solution that works for you, and I wish you the very best.