wynterstail

Well, I hope they understand that only 30% of the population in Jamaica has acess to the internet...

As long as you have the evidence showing you have met within the past two years such as the trip itenary, boarding passes, receipts etc... stamps in passport showing you were there on the specified date, pictures of the two of you while you were there- that will suffice for evidence for meeting within the last two years.

as for evidence of continuing relationship - greeting cards to and from each other, emails to and from each other, phone records would be good, but chat transcripts are good too.

I just reread your message, you have no way of internet connection to speak to one another, so chat transcripts and email are out...you will have to stick with letters to and from each other and greeting cards

I hope we have enough "stuff"...it's kind of difficult because he doesn't have phone records, or the internet, so no email, so all the phone records are mine, a few cards, 3 or 4 photos together, and a set of photos that shows the connection between my friends up here who introduced us and him with them in Jamaica, some notarized letter from friends who know us, and of course the stuff proving we've seen each other in person within the last 2 years. I think all my support stuff is in good order; I don't think I'll have a problem about that because fortunately I make about $50K--not really a lot, but I think it qualified for this purpose. You would think they would look at that and realize that obviously I'm not getting any advantage out of this, so why would it be a scam?

I've heard a few people say now that the interviewer at the Embassy barely looked at their documentation (ongoing relationship stuff, photos, etc), and seemed to rely more on the questions they ask the beneficiary. True?

Ann

I've heard this too Ann, but I think you need to be prepared for anything. It probably depends a lot on the CO you get and many different circumstances. My thoughts are you cannot be too prepared. You don't want to take any chances, so the documents need to be perfect, just in case.

~Stacey

I've heard a few people say now that the interviewer at the Embassy barely looked at their documentation (ongoing relationship stuff, photos, etc), and seemed to rely more on the questions they ask the beneficiary. True?

Ann

I really have no idea why these people (the US Government) have not only this level of control over who you marry, but that the process, once it gets to the Embassy,is so subjective. Actually, I think the process is much more hazardous if you come from an underdeveloped country, as opposed to a "western" country.

Ann- your not alone. I keep reminding myself that their are many couples that have waited much longer than me. It is so hard when you have absolutely no control over the situation and it is left up to the most inefficient people in the world. WOW, I guess I am having a moment too. It is very hard to wait.

I don't the answer to your question, but I'm reading the responses and am very interested to know what happens with your experience--I'm hoping we have an interview date by late November.

Ann

Can anyone here remember how long the embassy takes to give the visa after the interview? I am going down for my fiance's interview on October 30th 2006. I am short on days after the 8 visits to Jamaica in the past year. I have exactly 6 days to be back at work. So I am hoping that she interviews on Monday, gets visa by Friday and we can leave on Sunday. I swear if I have to leave her one more time she is going to keel over even if it is for just a few days. We are flying through JFK in hope of getting a work permit since she is the kind of woman who just would not sit still without being employed.

So is my time frame for interview and visa unrealistic or should I be planning a longer time? Would the embassy let you pick up the visa or would the insist on mailing it? Jamaica's courier system is not the best especially if you are living in the country. She had to have the NON IMPEDIMENT TO MARRAIGE delivered and the courier called her and told her to meet him at a JFC location about two miles from home cause he did not know how to find the house. I just do not like the idae of her visa sitting on a table in KFC while someone munches over a chicken box.

I never noticed if I had been "touched"-- I mailed the petition 9/1 (and never got return receipt from the post office), got the NOA1 about 9/6, and when I checked my email on the evening of Sunday the 17th, lo and behold was an email from USCIS saying the petition was approved. Yesterday I received the actual 797 in the mail, but when I call the NVC, I still don't have a case number there.

Ann

Just a quick question after looking at your timeline. I see you sent your package in on 1 sep. and I had mine recieved by them that day. Wondering if a. You recieved an NOA1 in the mail and b. If you used the web site and saw any hits. All I know of my case is that they cashed my check and that with the number on the back of my check that they recieved my package on the 1st. I have not gotten an NOA1 or any "touched" and have no clue whether or not anything is going on. Any insight you have would be great.

Yes, I know the battle isn't even over when they finally arrive...then you get to start Phase II--but right now I would so happy if all I had to worry about was filling out more papers and spending more money. Thanks for helping me stay on the positive side.

Ann

hi there

i tell ya i remember all the above feelings..it is one of the hardest things you go through .. to be seperated from the one you love for so long...my now husband wanted to sell up everything leave a 20 year job and come to australia to be with me...i couldnt let him do that...we never argued over it just pointed out why we are doing it this way what we will have together when it is finally over and expressed our inner most feeling for each other daily...

now i am here in the states it is everything we strived for he is more content and so am i happy as larry we are...

your next big step is the interview that also can be nerve racking but lots get through it an say the same thing ..what the hell were we worried about...

the process we go through is so long winded that true love wins ....its a very emotional roller coaster but we all get through it ..lots to look forward to ...your wedding day...starting a life together... filling out forms again .. the wait again.. and finally getting that greencard and your AOS approved...

good luck to you

kath

Priase God, I am so happy for both you. It's going to be a loooong night

Ann

my husband just called me from jfk airport. he just went thru customs and everything went well. i was so worried he would run into problems since this is the first time he had used his advance parole. we are still waiting FBI checks for his green card and his k-3 has expired so he had to use advance parole. a hundred pound weight has just been lifted off my shoulders.

just one more flight and he will be home in my waiting arms again.

Thanks Stacey--I actually teared up reading your post (not like me, what's coming over me?)

I ask God every day to keep His hand on this thing for us...I have moments when I just feel furious that this process even exsists--like, how dare they and who the hell are they to put people through this nightmare, and stop anyone from getting married if that's what they want to do.

But you are right--someday this part will be completed and we will be together always, God willing.

Ann

I know what you are going through Ann, it is hard for people to understand that are not going through it themselves. I have felt this way myself many many times. What has gotten me through it is I have to remind myself each and every day what we are doing this for, what the outcome of this waiting period will be. It will be the rest of our lives...TOGETHER. Yes I know all these thoughts run through your head, like what if we don't get it and others, but just try and clear your head, follow all the steps, make sure everything is right and leave it in God's hands. That is really all you can do. That is what I have done, and each day I remind myself, to stay POSITIVE, and that we are doing this for our wonderful future together and that we ARE GOING TO HAVE A WONDERFUL FUTURE AND THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER after this process. This is just a step we have to take to get there, that's all. It does require a great deal of patience, which I have had to learn to have, but if you are strong, you can do it. I know you can!!!!!!

~Stacey

Shock doesn't neven begin to say it! A friend who went through it 3 years ago kept asking me, are you SURE you're looking at the 797???

quote name='kath&rob' date='Sep 22 2006, 04:33 PM' post='463710']

k1 vermont

take a look at the above link..this is for vermont office and your fiance's country..

dont know about the denials ..

take care and good luck with this journey...

kath

p.s. just looked at your timeline.. well done you beat us for approval by 3 days..go vermont...i bet you had a shock of your life like we did...lol

Most of you seem to have already gotten through the worst of this process, and have your husband here with you now. I'm just having a moment (OK, well, more than moment) of missing my honey so much, and feeling like--what if I can't ever see him...what if they just won't give us the damn visa. Did you all have those feelings...like, I don't care about anything else I'm going to get on a plane right now? This horrible ache from missing someone, and then he calls and then you really miss him...I just needed to vent and this felt like a safe place. You know, you hardly can even tell people around you that you're getting married because when people know you're marrying someone outside the county, they look at you like you have two heads...

Ann

Is there somewhere on the site, or a link, where I could see statistics for embassies granting or denying K1 visa?

Ann

I wanted to know if anyone included a letter offering their finace a job when he or she reached the US in their application

Ann

I'm curious about how many people flew to their fiance's country to be there for the embassy interview?

Ann

Thank Michele

Yeah, I think it's not an uncommon situation there. I just had a friend go through it last year and she's 15 years older than him.

Thanks for your good thoughts.

Hi Ann,

There a a few VJer's that were approved at the Jamaican embassy that have age differences of 10+ years (women older than the men). None of them had any problems getting approved; although one member did state that it was brought up at the interview.

Michele

Here's a story on this topic...a sad but quite true story...

A nice woman, divorced, with two daughters, takes a vacation to Jamaica. She'a hardworking nurse, a country gal, completely unacquainted with life outside the US, let alone life in an island in the Caribbean.

And...of course, she meets a man. At Sumfest. Selling Red Stripe. Well--I'm sure I don't have to tell you ladies about the power of yard charm...it can be pretty intoxicating and she was besotted. She comes back to the US--and in a month she goes back down and marries him. She is completely giddy and excited. (Her daughters are a little bewildered at this point). She files the I-130 and gets him up here and, lo and behold, after six months she realizes that she did not marry a 40 year old white man from the suburbs of Cleveland disguised as a Jamaican chicken farmer. She was shocked he didn't want to go to brunch with her family. She was furious when he started hanging out. Do I need to tell you about "soon come?" (lol). She resented spending "her" money on grocery items like yam and cho cho and salt fish. In short, she wanted to have her cake and eat it too--she wanted the excitement, the fun, the passion...but didn't want to deal with the flip side of the coin. He just wasn't acting like she expected a husband to act. She knew in her head that alot of it was based in cultural differences--but deep down, she felt she was "right" and that he should be grateful just to be here. We had a long talk about how in the Caribbean (and other parts of the world as well), men and women, husbands and wives, often live parallel lives--they are there for each other at the end of the day, but are used to living pretty independent social lives. Doesn't always make for great companionship.

She ended up calling the DEA on him when he came home at 3 a.m. (who, thank God, must have taken the call for what it was--an angry woman trying to retaliate the only way she could think of--and ignored it). They are "taking a break" for the moment.

The point being, cultural differences are no joke and take committment and preparation from both partners, and I guess you have to read that--especialy the woman. I think we're just better at bending. Some guys just try to recreate the life they had down there, up here, and it can't help but cause friction.

But I know many, many couples who have overcome the intial culture shock--with patience and perserverance. My husband and I were happy for 15 years, and I met him the first week he set foot in America--them were some interesting years, I can tell you! So have faith and keep going.

Ann

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer

So true...... The hard part is learing to keep your mouth shut when you really don't want to....

I guess I must admit that I get a little irritated sometimes with the whole situation.

When Roy first got here he was making dinner every night. I would come home and there he would be in the kitchen......as time went by, he stopped. I come home after working all day and I have to ask him what he wants then I have to start cooking. I think it has something to do with him being the man and me being the woman.....I do get pissed but....I have also learned to "not sweat the small stuff."

Kim -- Can't wait for Grey's and the shirts!!

What amazes me the most with this entire process, is that we ALL talked to them about EVERYthing BEFORE they got here over and over and over again......and our boys just did NOT "listen"

Kelly -- I don't know if it's that they didn't listen....I think they could never (in their wildest dreams) imagine how it would really be once they got to America. Look where they came from and what their "normal" day (in Jamaica) consisted of.....talk about culture shock.

This is hard. Really, really hard. You are dealing with a grown man who is experiencing things like he is a little kid. Can you imagine if you were suddenly "dropped" into the middle of Jamaica and had to learn to "fend for yourself?" How about going from no indoor plumbing or water.....to a dishwasher and garbage disposal. Just the little things can be so huge.....

I think we (sometimes) forget that we need to cut them a little slack.....

Good morning.

I totally agree with Mindy. You have learn not to sweat the small stuff. It also irked when Damien stopped cooking but he have no problems cleaning up, paying bills, etc. It just takes time.

Speaking from experience...you have to be willing to let them lead and be in control as much as possible, even when you know the "right" answer. I think the toughest thing on West Indian men when they come here is the feeling of powerlessness; for anyone who immigrates as an adult--well, you're never as clever and smart and powerful and charming as you are in your native language/country. Also, life in the US is very isolating, if you're used to village life, where you know everyone, everyone knows you, and you have companionship and a place in the that world, life here can feel boring and lonely. In time, they find a balance (or, they should) between keeping the culture and life they grew up with, and accomodating life in America.

Okay...AOS/EAD officially mailed...we are on to STEP 2... I am afraid to say......the waiting begins...once again

Okay....now to the topic at hand......drinking!!!

This is not an issue for us......I do not drink and Duane was never a big drinker in Jamaica...the occasional Magnum....he brought back 24 Magnums when he arrived and they lasted up until a couple hweeks ago but he did share them with friends......I have some wine coolers and a six pack of beer in the fridge and it has been ther since he arrived. He has the occasional drink whne we go out to a club but it is very little...

Miss Kelly....You are correct.....keeping an open container of liquor in the car will give you a fat whooping ticket in Cali....Also......sitting in the car drinking and playing music just sounds kinda weird. If he is looking for some "alone" time, tell him to go into your bedroom and play his music and have a drink....you do those things inside the house...not on the street!!

As for the the air conditioning and lights....you need to explain it to him and make him pay the gas/electric bill.....that will definitely make him more aware of the cost issue.......as for the seat belt...he needs to get a ticket and make him pay for it...I bet you he will wear the darned seat belt after he gets pulled over and ticketed!!! I DID!!!! If I may add my 2 cents.....it sounds like more of a "control" issue for Craig and it sounds like he is rebelling against all the crazy American rules and he does not like being told what to do.....this is typical of most men..especially those hard-headed Jamaican men........try to explain that things are different and he needs to adjust to the laws of this Country.....it may take time but he will come around..especially if he starts having to pay the consequences of not listening......time should heal all of these issues......

NEW TOPIC.......

So most ALL of you told me that our relationship in Jamaica was going to be a totally different relationship in America....Before he got here.....I thought...yeah whatever....we are soo close and I know him sooooo well so our relationship will be NO DIFFERENT.... BULLSHIZNIT...........Boy was I WRONG.....the whole dynamics is different........not that our relationship is worst but just VERY different.........when the real world hits you, the whole vibe is different...plus.... in Jamaica...he was in control for the most part and now I am in control...this is very different and very hard on a man.....How did you get over this? How long did it take for the adjustment? What advice would you give to some of us that are just now going through this and for those that will soon learn what I am talking about........

Thanks Sweetie

You look to be about my age.

And still looking good as well I see.

I see--I kept wondering what all the "touches" were about, because my 129F was approved very fast--I mailed it on 9/1 and it was approved on 9/15. Maybe it's the luck of the draw with who's working on your file.

it could...depends on who is older....how many years...and other factors if they dont seem to add up to the CO. He is required to make a subjective judgement on the total picture. If its a real relationship or a visa scam.

Hi Ann, i started thinkink that age difference is a factor against K1.I and my fiancee, we have 27 yeas difference and see how long we have been waitting and how many touches and still nothing.

Thanks==we will keep on praying

I think it's quite common for Jamaican (men and women) to marry Americans, both with and without age differences. But of course, one can't deny that for some people, it's mainly for the purpose of coming to the US. But I want to make sure I'm understanding--age difference is not a grounds for denial, right? It's a matter of them seeing sufficient proof of a relationship--correct?

That is my understanding. You need to show proof of relationship. Your photos look that of a like genuine couple to me and as long as you too are comfortable with your relationship I don't believe there would be any problems.

I would suggest lots of evidence on ongoing relationship. Ie. photo bills, cards, photos etc just to be sure.

There is no official age difference rule.

Good luck to you both.

I think it's quite common for Jamaican (men and women) to marry Americans, both with and without age differences. But of course, one can't deny that for some people, it's mainly for the purpose of coming to the US. But I want to make sure I'm understanding--age difference is not a grounds for denial, right? It's a matter of them seeing sufficient proof of a relationship--correct?

Ann,

OK, 2nd piece of the puzzle.

Next - what is the cultural norm in Jamaica? Do men there commonly marry women who are significantly older than themselvs? Do men there commonly marry divorced women, or are previously married women (or women with children) looked on as 'used' and therefore undesireable? Do men in Jamaica commonly marry women who are both significantly older than themselves and 'used'?

Do you know if Jamaica is considered to be a high-fraud post? Are there a lot of people there who would like to get to the USA, including a fair number who would do most anything to accomplish their goal?

May not sound pretty or PC, but in many places it's the way it is, and in such places your situation can be a problem. If Jamaica is such a place get prepared.

Yodrak

... I am significantly older than him....

Ann

wynterstail,

No they can't, and no they don't. There's always more to it than that.

Care to add a few more pieces to the jigsaw puzzle? One is not enough to know what the picture looks like.

Yodrak

My fiance has one child, who we've listed as " will follow" Am i supposed to be filing some form for the child now?

We've known each other for 3 years. We met in 2003 while I was in Jamaica and the relationship grew over time, in a normal sort of way. Neither one of us was of us was trying to rush into anything. I dont have any photos of us together in 2003 (because of course, we didn't know we'd be needing any), but I did submit photos of us together during my August 06 visit. And phone records, cards we exchanged, letters of support from people who know us and know about the relationship. But I am significantly older than him--though I don't think it looks like some grotesque age differnce...you can see the photos I posted. You have no idea how tired I am of How Stella Got Her Groove Back jokes...It can be a little frustraing when people make assumptions...my late husband was West Indian also, so it's not like this is something new. But I know people (spelled "embassy") can jump to the conclusion that one is a naieve idiot being taken advantage of...

Ann

wynterstail,

No they can't, and no they don't. There's always more to it than that.

Care to add a few more pieces to the jigsaw puzzle? One is not enough to know what the picture looks like.

Yodrak

I keep finding new and horrifying things to worry about...someone mentioned that the embassy can be very picky when they see a big age difference in a couple applying for a K1....could they deny the visa just because they don't like the age difference?

Thanks for giving me one of the few laugs I've had since entering the land of K-1

The rules are the rules. The male must be at least 35 years older than the woman and visa versa if woman from USA and is looking for the male. That is why I suggest plastic surgery. Just kidding. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

I keep finding new and horrifying things to worry about...someone mentioned that the embassy can be very picky when they see a big age difference in a couple applying for a K1....could they deny the visa just because they don't like the age difference?

Are you automatically excluded from getting the visa if you were ever arrested? Even if the charges were ultimately dropped? How should that question be answered on the visa application that asks: were you ever arrested, charged or convicted...."?

Hi all

I'm kind of new to the site and so relieved to see this thread. Sent of I-129F 9/1/06 and I already have approval (Vermont SC). But now what happens? I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can only dream of paperwork and what to expect and how to be completely and totally prepared. I hear that if I fed ex the original 797 to my finace in JA, he can bring it to the embassy and get "the packet", but do I have to wait to know the NVC sent the file to Kingston first? I'm jumping out of my skin...

Ann

I can't believe I filed the I-129F on September 1, 2006 and on September 17th got an email from USCIS saying petition was approved--I was expecting this to take a very long time. Now I'm feeling a little panicked. How long will it take to get to the embassy in Kingston? I've looked at the embassy website, and it seems confusing. I've heard that if I Fed Ex the original 797 to my fiance, he can bring it to the embassy in person and pick up the "packet", but how long does it take to get an interview? I'm also confused because the embassy website refers to K-1 visas as "immigrant" visas, but elsewhere I've seen them referred to as non-immigrant visas. Does anyone know about this Certificate of Eligiblity to Marry that I've seen some posts about on other sites? Does anyone know which form Kingston uses for the Affidavit of Support, is it the I-134? I just want to get everything together so there won't be a delay, if at all possible.

Ann