HannahP

Keep in mind, if she spends more than 6 months out of canada she is no longer entitled to Cdn healthcare. I think that date can be extended a bit! As well I believe it does take awhile to bring a family member legally to the USA!! Hope the nursing job situation improves by the time you graduate. Its a pretty grim here in the DC area for new grads!! cheers

Not that great for new grads where I am now, also. But hubby makes a decent middle-class wage. Also, it's my mom and I'm the USC so she's not Canadian. Both of my hubby's (Canadian) parents are in very good health and monetary-standing.

He's never had to deal with a parent who was in /bad/ health and I've taken care of my mom on-and-off since I was sixteen.

thong - I'm so happy that your mom is 85 and still walking! She must be a real fighter and healthy, to boot. Do you still plan on taking care of her if her health should decline?

charles - I'm charging you at least one meal at India Palace a day if you come live with us.

slim - haven't talked with you in a while. If your daddy can still live on his own, I'd suggest looking into certain services if you haven't already. My county offers disabled + geriatric folks services like grocery shopping, doing the laundry, occasional heavy cleaning, free car rides to doc appts, even in-home care like bathing if they qualify. Sliding scale to free.

I totally agree about the money, which I think will be the biggest thing for us to deal with even before the initial stress. We need to move into a bigger place, which we were planning on because of my hubby's promotion, but it's still not the type of house where you'd have "guest quarters" or whatever. She can afford her expenses (food, electricity, meds, cigs-ugh, her damned life insurance that she insists on paying out the #### for so that us kids "have something left over" despite the fact that she had NO SAVINGS going into her disability/retirement, blah blah)

Anyway, thanks guys. I wish I was getting help from my entire family but I'm not. A lot of people have told me that I should promote my own happiness, etc., but I'd feel more unhappy if I were unable to fulfill what I feel like is an obligation to my mother. She did raise me, after all.

Are you going to have any help? This is going to put a huge amount of strain on you and your marriage. I will tell you a story that someone in this situation once told me, if you PM me.

What it comes down to is that you have to do what's right for you. Only you know that.

Maybe. I'm actually a nursing student doing my current clinical in geriatric community stuff. So I have certain access to things. Please feel free to PM me.

My mom is totally coherent (no dementia) and is mostly able to do her ADLs with some help, except for being wheelchair bound. I think this will help. At least until she becomes incontinent.

I agree about the marriage stress. This is my biggest thing. My hubby is right now very supportive but he's never lived with her before, so.

...especially the bootstrappy conservatives like Danno et al which thankfully don't seem to read this forum anymore.

Anyway, to be short, has anyone had any experience with moving an older and/or sick family member in with them? And by in, I really do mean in. We can't afford a guest house in the back or whatever. She'll be taking up the master bedroom of whatever two-bedroom place we can afford. My mom's completely wheelchair bound due to a bout of polio as a kid. (Please immunize your kids.) Lots of chronic pain, etc. She's extremely depressed at where she's at now. (Her brother's falling-down house in the middle of BF, MO.) Has lost a ton of weight which isn't helping her skin integrity, etc. I know that moving her in with us will help her mental health and, with my nurse training, I'll be able to help her physically as well. Um...the probable stress on us as a couple/having to live with my mom is obvious.

Anyway. Just wondering if anyone else has done this? Tips or hints? esp. you guys from other countries with the extended families under one roof...

Blowing up latex gloves is always fun.

Totally have a box of them! Also heard that the kids love it when you put stuff on inside out.

/which I've actually done

//not on purpose

So I'm volunteering with a group that helps sick kids get used to tx through play. There's five of us. I'm bringing my scrubs and my doggy scope; I can also bring tons of stuffed animals (but no dolls), and my daddy is giving me his doctorish stuff so I'm also bringing a reflex hammer, otoscope, etc. I've also weaseled out of my work a dozen sterile yellow isolation gowns and masks. (Expecting 125 kids but figured that they can "dress up" since it's not...sterile, y'know.)

Anything that I'm missing, you think? Bandages were also mentioned but I have none on hand & was going to see if anyone else volunteered that. I don't think that "needle play" will be involved.

Basically, if you choose "yes" to this, you'll need to provide a psychiatrist statement that you're not a danger to yourself or others. It's pretty easy (esp. since you seem very stable), although it can be expensive to get a second opinion if you don't already have a shrink willing to write something for you. Hubby did it with 3-4 visible self-harm healed scars and he was fine.

I'm confused. Is Eric that aussie guy that hates everyone?

So if the common morals of a state are to ban assualt rifles...that is OK right? Or to allow slavery maybe? Maybe we should allow the common morals to decide what we can read? Watch? Maybe cities can ban handguns if it is the common morals...oops, NO, they can't... but they were able to until just a few weeks ago. Or were they ever? Really? I mean, unless we changed the constitution in that regard, then Chicago's ban on handguns was ALWAYS un-constitutional and they never had any basis to enforce it.

States have the ability to make laws within the restrictions of our rights. They CANNOT make laws that infringe on OUR RIGHTS whether the majority is for it or against it. I contend that the 4th amendment right to privacy would certainly apply to what consenting adults do within their bedroom. You, apparently, do not. You think that the "common morals" of a majority of the legislature of a given state can decide to put your wife in prison if she puts your ####### in her mouth. They can (and do in some states) call it "sodomy" or "deviant sexual intercourse" and state she is guilty of a felony for doing so. That means she can go to prison, have her green card revoked, lose her right to own a gun, etc., because she put her mouth on a part of your body that a majority of the legislature of that state said was "bad". You are OK with that?

Your attempts to derail the facts or muddy the water with arguments about animals or children do not change the fact that YOU think other people should be able to decide what YOU and your wife do in your bedroom.

Holy #######. I just had a heart attack because I actually agreed with what Gary wrote. And actually cheered a bit because of what he wrote.

My real question: is hell freezing over? Are pigs flying?

Umm...pilates is actually kinda hard.

OP, did you have a previous username on here? Because I think I know who are you.

Nothing personal but I give this a big fat boo-hoo. 10-15 days of PTO/year is pretty standard in most industries (unless you work for the government). Most companies are moving away from separate vacation and sick leave and just doing PTO.

It sounds all totalitarian when you say 1 day per month. But if you count weekends, you're only working 21-22 days a month anyways. If you give more than 1-2 days off, not much is going to get done.

Until you get sick, need surgery, and use up all of your PTO and then some.

Still can't believe that some countries in the EU get six weeks of paid vacation.

#######, Best Buy had them on sale for $140 with 2 controllers and a lame game last weekend.

Not here. They're still about $200-$300 each.

I am desperate to play my game. My husband's Xbox360 is in the throes of the red ring of death, (for the second time mind you -- first time it was under warranty and got replaced) but event half-broken Xboxes on Craiglist are selling for ~$160 a piece. (Never mind that you can get a PS2 with controllers and games for, like, $50. Argh.)

I keep seeing parts. Can it be fixed? Is it worth it? Does anyone know?

nicholas cage - would want to spend a week with him. he just seems to operate on a wavelength that other hollywooders do not. i think a week with him would be completely unpredictable.

Totally agree. He'd probably...stab you. or else fight with you over his initial birth right.

Not me. I don't care in the slightest.

What is the difference?

I have a constitutional right to own a firearm and a book. How can you possibly sit there and tell me the government can infringe upon my rights to one, but not the other. Can you honestly, in good faith, not see the connection between restricting one right leading to restriction of others?

So, like, if I want to marry another woman. And I do. Can I marry a dog? Or a small child? Where does it end?!

This was my second choice.

SIGH! Am I the only person that doesn't think he's still alive?

I'm a naturalist at heart. So either E.O. Wilson or Jane Goodall.

I'm so jealous of people who get vacation + sick days. My husband gets 1 paid day off (both) per month. So no vacation for us, despite the fact that we still haven't had a honeymoon. Sad face.

...you're only now applying for RoC? I thought you guys had been together since forever.

Ya'all know her first name is Howard?

I COULD HAVE WON A MILLION DOLLARS WITH THAT TRIVIA!11

Interview With a Vampire was genre breaking. Everything else just sucked.

He isn't old I am old

My mom's older.

I've lived in a US border state all of my life...which is considerably more years than many of 20 and 30-something experts that inhabit VJ. I used to see illegal alien roundups frequently in Houston. I remember seeing a paint and body shop near my house being raided and scores of illegal aliens arrested as far back as the 1960's. I used to drive to and from work offshore down Highway 59 in south Texas in the early 1980's and personally witnessed full INS buses rolling full south with illegal aliens and returning empty rolling north. Now all I see is more and more illegal aliens in Houston. The 1986 amnesty has set the tone and it has been downhill to the toilet tube ever since.

The standards I grew up with have eroded and I don't see any upside in the present climate lunacy that has gripped the immigration debate.

I do know one thing from witnessing it first hand...amnesty is not the solution...it is the problem.

Whoa...does this mean you're, like old?

I thought Bob Dylan said not to trust anyone over thirty?

i'd rather support the poor wolves.

....guns?!

No farmers/ranchers? Charles, I'm disappointed. You're not supporting the poor man.

My dad kept plying my husband with the Best Moonshine Ever, apparently.

And then he made my hubby mow the lawn with his ginormous lawn mower.