Visa4habibi!

Hang in there, girl. I was waiting for 2 years and 3 months after we got married. Thanks God/Alhamdulilia, my husband is finally with me!!! The overall wait was 3 years and 3 months!

And I have so much debt to show for that waiting period, I'm still not done paying back for my trips # 2 and 3.

It will happen when it's supposed to, not when you want to (unfortunatelly), but it WILL!\

T

I'm actually in Philly too but I wasn't born here, so I know a lot about being home sick and all that 'good stuff'. I have no idea how far you're from here but I know that I haven't managed to meet someone from Central Philly because of my crazy schedule yet. Good luck!

I have a cookbook but don't like anything in it. I use a smaller slow-cooker to make jambalaya from a package with some store bought sausage or whatever i feel like using (while i'm around to still kind of watch over it). I hate overcooked food! Chili on the other hand (with pre-soaked beans) comes out pretty good.

Congrats to both of you! I'm very happy for you, Meriem!

OMG Meriem, that's terrible! I hope you have good insurance, I had an accident last year - I still hear the screeching of the brakes and get scared when somebody tailgates. I didn't get a cent from insurance and my car was totaled!!!

You have to get started on treatments for your injuries! I feel for you, hope you can get another car and everything straightened out - it took me quite a while to get another car and I have to drive for my job!

Take care

Dee! I'm really glad you're safe, hope you get your house back soon! Want some help?

BTW 4 people who misunderstood me: I work 7 days a week and not at the desk, so I read what I can when I can. If I missed a word and said something just trying to help - I didn't mean anything bad! I'm not rooting for abusive men PERIOD!

Anyway, Dee. There's such places as Legal Aid and Women's Place everywhere. If you have bruises - take pictures and save them for hearing for restraining order or something like that. That's very helpful.

Take care!

I'm sorry for two things: what's happening to you and for not being able to read everything and find out what is going on. My two cents: you worked hard and waited for him to come over, right? Now it's not the best time for him - so called 'cultural shock' which I've experienced first hand! It's HUGE, girl! I bet you have no idea!

I'm not defending him or his behavior, but you have to understand that adjusting for two people of the same upbringing and from the same neighborhood would be not so easy! I'm sure if you talk to him somewhere away from home in a calm manner and try to explain things that bother you and how you want things to be for all of you would be better than arguing. I am not saying that I know MENA men very good or understand them too much, but they can be stubborn, also very emotional and hot-headed! And they like to feel like they are 'the boss'. It's up to you if you want to learn how to get what you want and how to keep him happy, totally up to you!

I could go on, but you don't need a lecture, girl. Just a little patience and time. Maybe some time alone with him so he wouldn't get jealous of your kids. And lots of talking on both sides when you're both calm. Hope this helps!

One more thing, maybe you should ask him nicely to do a few hard jobs around the house to keep him busy if he didn't start that by himself - he'll feel more useful and would have less time for looking for trouble.

Good luck, inshallah things will get better!

(((hugs)))

Tanya

There is a big difference between culture shock and being abusive.

I can say that I never experienced anything like Dee's husband is doing and my husband moved here from Morocco.

His behavior should not be chalked up to "culture shock". He is doing nothing to help Dee or her children whatsoever. He is only concerned with his "career". Why should she give him time and be so patient?

Even if it were culture shock... this is the United States of America. We don't legally abuse our spouses here nor tolerate making excuses for it.

Some people still shock me on this board and it's not a cultural shock! Next time your SO looks at you funny or does something wrong, why don't you send them packing and say, it's 'emotional abuse'? So, since I know the issue from the other side, I'm not allowed to talk here? How shocking!

THIS IS NOT TO THE OP, don't get me wrong.

What are you even talking about? Have you not read any of Dee's posts about the problems she has been having? Do you think that she is upset because her husband looked at her "funny"? Your inability to understand the true problems that Dee is having is quite disturbing.

I am embarassed for you that you just posted that. Wow. Just wow.

Seriously Sarah, get a life! You spend way too much online! How's YOUR married life? Lucking something?

Some people still shock me on this board and it's not a cultural shock! Next time your SO looks at you funny or does something wrong, why don't you send them packing and say, it's 'emotional abuse'? So, since I know the issue from the other side, I'm not allowed to talk here? How shocking!

THIS IS NOT TO THE OP, don't get me wrong.

How do you know the "other side?" Dee has been/is a hellofa women to even be putting up with this kind of #######. No woman or child should have to go through anything like this.

How do I know the "other side"? I wasn't born here, that's how. Neither was my ex. Everybody was adjusting differently. But not the way Dee's describing.

I'm sorry for two things: what's happening to you and for not being able to read everything and find out what is going on. My two cents: you worked hard and waited for him to come over, right? Now it's not the best time for him - so called 'cultural shock' which I've experienced first hand! It's HUGE, girl! I bet you have no idea!

I'm not defending him or his behavior, but you have to understand that adjusting for two people of the same upbringing and from the same neighborhood would be not so easy! I'm sure if you talk to him somewhere away from home in a calm manner and try to explain things that bother you and how you want things to be for all of you would be better than arguing. I am not saying that I know MENA men very good or understand them too much, but they can be stubborn, also very emotional and hot-headed! And they like to feel like they are 'the boss'. It's up to you if you want to learn how to get what you want and how to keep him happy, totally up to you!

I could go on, but you don't need a lecture, girl. Just a little patience and time. Maybe some time alone with him so he wouldn't get jealous of your kids. And lots of talking on both sides when you're both calm. Hope this helps!

One more thing, maybe you should ask him nicely to do a few hard jobs around the house to keep him busy if he didn't start that by himself - he'll feel more useful and would have less time for looking for trouble.

Good luck, inshallah things will get better!

(((hugs)))

Tanya

There is a big difference between culture shock and being abusive.

I can say that I never experienced anything like Dee's husband is doing and my husband moved here from Morocco.

His behavior should not be chalked up to "culture shock". He is doing nothing to help Dee or her children whatsoever. He is only concerned with his "career". Why should she give him time and be so patient?

Even if it were culture shock... this is the United States of America. We don't legally abuse our spouses here nor tolerate making excuses for it.

Some people still shock me on this board and it's not a cultural shock! Next time your SO looks at you funny or does something wrong, why don't you send them packing and say, it's 'emotional abuse'? So, since I know the issue from the other side, I'm not allowed to talk here? How shocking!

THIS IS NOT TO THE OP, don't get me wrong.

As far as I remember I PMd you with answers. 2nd interview was a joke, nothing else! Looked at the papers and told him to go home wait for K-3 visa and their call. Been waiting even since.

Cold showers work, working 7 days a week works too!!! I still miss him though no matter what!

complain loooooooooool .... ummmm u can Do this and complain .. but WHO IS GANNA Listen ???????????

even get ur head and hit it against the wall .. and no one is ganna CARE ...

the embassy people is ganna do what ever they way NO MATTER what .. .and they are ganna take their LOOOOOOOOONg time NO MATTER WHAT ...

I couldn't agree with you more! I don't think I'd be able to count the days in the process - then I'd get either too depressed or start looking to pick a fight with them, and I can't afford any of that! One time I got a banner at the store that says "WELCOME HOME" and I got so incredibly depressed and upset. I had to hide it in the closet for the better times. Hope my husband come at least this year, inshallah!

Good luck and I wanted to add that you can complain here, there's some nice people and everybody's going thru this. Not that you'll get your visa sooner if you complain here, but it makes our lives a little easier, this board!

1. Food better be packed in nice store containers or even better store bought. (I brought pickled olives packed in many bags not in a jar and they were fine).

2. Declare everything!!!!

3. The only things not allowed would be raw meat, fish, fruit and stuff like that. Plus other illegal things but I'm sure you're not bringing something like that.

4. No toothpaste or oils in carry on - they have to be in your luggage or they'd take them away from you before you get on the plane.

If you have any more questions, check RAM's site or whatever airline you're flying with. You can also ask me, I traveled back in May and managed to bring back lots of goodies!

Mabrook again. I bet you are so excited!

Congrats, sister! Alhamdulilia! Haven't heard from you for a while and I don't have time to read everything - work too much but don't get paid too much .

Would you PM me please to let me know how you are doing?

Tanya

"I miss him so much and still hoping he gets his visa before then so we can travel back together... (so I dont cry my eyes out again on the plane trip back home) "

Been there, done that! Have a nice time, hope you bring him back with you!

Good luck and welcome to the "waiting game:! I've been playing it much longer and it's no fun at all! Nothing I've done seem to make any difference to our case. I think, they're just waiting for us to give up, but I'm still playing!

(We have an age difference a few years less than yours) and i am really fed up with Casa, but can't do anything about it, just wait and b$#@%^ from time to time.

I'm sorry for two things: what's happening to you and for not being able to read everything and find out what is going on. My two cents: you worked hard and waited for him to come over, right? Now it's not the best time for him - so called 'cultural shock' which I've experienced first hand! It's HUGE, girl! I bet you have no idea!

I'm not defending him or his behavior, but you have to understand that adjusting for two people of the same upbringing and from the same neighborhood would be not so easy! I'm sure if you talk to him somewhere away from home in a calm manner and try to explain things that bother you and how you want things to be for all of you would be better than arguing. I am not saying that I know MENA men very good or understand them too much, but they can be stubborn, also very emotional and hot-headed! And they like to feel like they are 'the boss'. It's up to you if you want to learn how to get what you want and how to keep him happy, totally up to you!

I could go on, but you don't need a lecture, girl. Just a little patience and time. Maybe some time alone with him so he wouldn't get jealous of your kids. And lots of talking on both sides when you're both calm. Hope this helps!

One more thing, maybe you should ask him nicely to do a few hard jobs around the house to keep him busy if he didn't start that by himself - he'll feel more useful and would have less time for looking for trouble.

Good luck, inshallah things will get better!

(((hugs)))

Tanya

Mabrook!!! That's great! They probably told you to bring your passport, I don't know if you're supposed to bring anything else - we're still haven't gotten the visa. Didn't they tell you what else to bring?

Internet and cellphones in Morocco suck too! I haven't been able to get thru to my husband for a week now! Either a Moroccan Arabic message about something, busy tone or weird ringing that's getting nowhere. I hate that so much!

Rarely I'd just dial and he picks up - then I'm so surprised!

Sometimes even the slightest rain is an obstacle for a phone call, so I watch out for weather too now.

Because they can and there's been something about Morocco being a country where there's too many marriages that aren't for just people to be together, plus the age difference. That's me still guessing - they never really gave the real reason.

I wish I could go too, but I'm done my going to Morocco.... at least for this year... and frankly, he should be here. The only problem is - no visa. Wow, almost two months in Morocco, I wish I could do that! But I'd miss the toilet and real shower too much :jest:

My name gets mispronounced here lots of times... but it's pretty simple.

My favorite name is Malik/Malika (King/Queen) which is not bad and most of people can pronounce it. After that goes Hamid (short for Mohamed) but nobody has to know that...

I also like Samir/Samira, sounds nice

And all of these names are pretty easy to say

BTW, my son was nameless for 3 WEEKS since I got to pick his name but I love his name, it worked from where I'm from and it's popular here. I'm glad I took my time and nobody can tease him!

I heard about a neighbor picking a very unpopular name for an unborn yet boy... I hope they'd reconsider - too macho and there's no nickname for it.

That's my 2 cents

So sorry honey for your loss! I've lost my cat this February even before they were talking about tainted pet food. Came home one evening and there he was on the floor! My favorite cat! He was giving my head massages and always followed me around! I was heartbroken, still am! Got TWO other cats to replace him (one just under a month after!) but they are different. Nobody can replace my Tommy! I still miss him a lot! Just let yourself some time to grieve and try to remember cute and funny things about your dog! PM me if you need to talk about it!

Also somebody gave me that 'Rainbow' poem, if you want it, I'd send it to you.

Take care

T

I'm from Russia and I only use Mayo on a sandwich - never liked it too much! But there's some 'russian' salads that need Mayo, I use it for that.

Russian ice cream was the best I've ever eaten (not too many flawors though). I like ice cream here, but to me most of it is too sweet.

Never had a 'sugar daddy' but that's cause I got married too young.

And about Russians being inpolite - it's just a choice some people make. I'm very polite and always was.

Welcome to America! Wish you smooth adjustment to new country and good life with your loved one!