Elf

VWP = Visa Waiver Program.
Your perception of 'rudeness' is your own....in my experience, people who have called me or my colleagues rude were only those who didn't qualify for a visa....they believe (erroneously) that a CO must believe every word and every paper said or presented....they don't. Just because you say something does not make it true, and a CO is not rude for not believing you....after all, none of us know how you or your husband presented their case...we have only your version....
In my experience, when someone is denied, even temporarily, and asked about it by their spouse, finance or 'friends', the typical response attempts to cast aspersions on the CO, putting the entire blame on that person instead of themselves.
Becoming a CO is not as simple as filling out an application form and fogging a mirror....less than 2% of original applicant pool succeed, by passing a series of written and oral exams that weed out lots of people...then follows weeks of intense training, followed by on the job training and experience, preceded by a length presentation about the country they are about to be assigned...regarding that country's economy, political climate, and yes, fraud rate. They don't go into the field unprepared.

USCIS does not interview the two parties in most cases...the petition approval standards are quite low, and they leave it to the COs to sort out the wheat from the chaff.

One can write anything they wish on a piece of paper, but that is not considered an official transcript. People who don't get what they want often re-write history when writing a letter to their congressman or just posting their unhappy thoughts at this site...anyone can say anything they wish about what transpired during an interview, but that does not make those statements true.
I've had people write their congressman, telling them that I (a) asked their GF no questions (!!??) and (b) 'threw their papers back into their face!'....a pair of statements so ludicrous that it was hard to keep from laughing, especially the 'paper hurling.' In order to have allegedly accomplished that task, one would have to first throw the papers downward, towards the tray or opening at the bottom of the interview window, then apply enough 'English' to then have those papers, after leaving the depression, rise up vertically, then move forward, all in complete violation of the laws of physics. Hmmmm so what does that say about what people often write when they are not happy? Answer: just about anything.
Visa scams abound....and many of the perpetrators don't come from Sweden....one job I had was in Washington, dealing with those very scams...more than 90% of the calls from those who were either scammed or were about to be scammed came from a handful of African countries....I don't remember a single one from Sweden, France, Switzerland, etc...people fell prey to all sorts of nonsense from these scammers....losing money or worse. Not posting such warnings would be disingenuous. It is far easier to prevent scams than trying to restore lost money or emotions. Once again, berate the scammers. They are causing the problems.
Yes, many parts of the immigration process are slow...there are lots more people using the system than there are people to cope with the volume of cases. Get more people, you say? Who will pay for them?
But at the end of the day, a CO's first duty is to the Constitution and other laws of our countries, not to the whims nor wants of a specific individual. They are empowered to make visa decisions, and they should exercise that authority carefully, because approving an immigrant visa application is the first step towards some person eventually becoming an American citizen...I would (and have) make that decision extremely carefully, as it is almost impossible to change if information surfaces later that showed that decision to have been a mistake.
So, if I decided to have the beneficiary provide more evidence, in whatever form, that would convince me of their bona fides, then I asked for it. If instead I got push back or reluctance on the part of either the beneficiary or petitioner, or 'crafted evidence', then the case was not approvable (in my judgment) and I would send it back to USCIS, and let that process take over.
For those who wanted to challenge me, to try and be more clever or devious or whatever, well, my easiest recourse was an addressed envelope to USCIS.
It was a lot of authority, and one that required measured application of it. Are there some COs who might not take their job as seriously as they should? No doubt. It's too bad. Are there inconsistent umpires in baseball and other sports? Sure. Because they are people.
But the constant refrain of alleged rudeness without absolute proof is just noise.

I'm not starting this topic to offend anybody or to start a beef just for the beef sake. After several months of being on this very helpful forum (it's a life saver in many cases! ), I have this general observation that people do not even bother to read instructions and guides. It seems they don't even bother to use a search engine to look for answers to their questions, but just bluntly create a new topic to ask their question that has been asked 3 to 5 times the very same day. Sometimes there are several topics one under the other(s) about the same thing. It makes the forum bigger and bigger mess every day.
I know this process is long, exhausting and above all confusing at many points. It really is and also has been for me. I always try to help whenever I'm logged in and I'm able to help (when I know how), because this is the main purpose of the forum -- to help and support each other. But even earlier today I read posts in a topic from more experienced forum members that the question about Texas lockobx and Texas Sevice Center comes up way too often and perhaps should be pinned somewhere to be visible. When I browse through the K1 forum, I see more and more replies that are only like "Read the guides" or "Follow this link", because these are basic questions!
It's all there in the Guides, in the Downloads, on the Visa FAQs etc. My plead for new users especially is to first research and read, and then if your question/issue is still not answered or it's very specific to formulate a question on the forum.
I wish you all a good day and above all as smooth visa journey as possible!

You may apply when you enter on a K1 before marriage or anything else. Form http://www.uscis.gov/i-765 But applying NOT as part of your AOS package, you pay the $380 fee. So let's say you want to do that the day you arrive in the U.S....
You arrive and get issued an I-94 that says you are allowed to stay 90 days in the U.S. That's all you have been granted, a 90 day stay. So you apply for EAD and pay $380. Then you wait on approval which takes 60-90 days. Let's assume you get the card in the mail on Day 80. It's expiration date will be the same date as your 90 day I-94 authorized entry. So you may work, but only for 10 days. So you paid $380 to get a card that expires on Day 90 (based on your K1). What if it took 90 for approval? You paid to get something invalid by the time it arrives. Not a sensible choice.
If you apply free with AOS it is different because you are an adjustment applicant. Card will expire one year from issue and could be renewed if the greencard took longer than that to be approved.

The question about whether you're going to be working fulltime relates to the statutory residence test that was introduced for tax years from 2013-14 onwards.
Assuming that you're planning to work in the US as soon as you have your EAD you should answer Yes, because the period before you get the EAD will be considered a "gap between employments", and those are disregarded when calculating whether the number of hours worked overseas during a tax year is sufficient to count as fulltime.
(The ludicrously complex instructions for calculating "fulltime" hours are in the official Guidance Note: Statutory Residence Test)
And yes, you can file it after you arrive in the US. In fact, I think you have up to four years to claim a refund.

You'll probably get conflicting answers on that, but my suggestion would be to save it for the interview unless including it with the application would stop you worrying too much between now and your interview date.
We also did AOS from F-1, and on our attorney's advice we waited and brought most of our evidence of bona-fide marriage to the interview. The IO flipped through our photographs and spent a couple of minutes looking at our inch-thick file of important documents (i.e. joint bank statements, joint insurances etc) but didn't even open the two files of "other evidence" I'd compiled. Our attorney had recommended that we bring evidence that I'd attended the grad school on my I-20 while in F-1 status, but the IO didn't ask for that either. Our interview only took about 15 minutes, the IO told us she was "recommending us for approval", our status was updated to "card/document production" two weeks later. and I had my GC in my hand a week after that.