FLAussie

I have been thinking the same thing myself, about the menopause. for the short time I was with her it was like living with a stranger.She never left the house unless it was for work dropping our daughter off to school or shopping. She closed down her facebook account put on weight and barely speaks to anyone now. She used to be so outgoing and always took pride in her appearance, all that has gone. I'm looking in the local papers for somewhere to live and on craiglist,as for your suggestion of dating nothing further to could be on my mind.I do appreciate you trying to help me though

Firstly, I am so sorry you are in this situation. Sometimes coming here doesn't work out quite as we'd hoped, and whatever plans we'd made for when we get here have to be thrown away. All I can say is, hang in there; hopefully things will get better for you soon.

As for your wife: she sounds clinically depressed. This is a decent list of typical diagnostic criteria: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression#1

You mentioned earlier that she moved back to the U.S. to care for her father. I'd suggest grief as another possible reason why she feels nothing toward you now; numbness is a common grief reaction. (Her father doesn't have to be gone yet for grief to have begun; many medical conditions take someone you love away from you slowly, and you know you've lost them and will never have them back as you remember them, long before the end.)

It's unusual for someone to go from having very strong feelings to nothing at all; getting her to talk to someone qualified to diagnose any underlying problem, if there is one, would be a good idea. GP / family doctor would be my suggestion as a first step. How you get her to do this is the tricky part. Obviously, "you're mentally ill to want to divorce me!! go get help!" would be the wrong approach.

You know her far better than anyone here does. I can offer some tips on getting someone to go get help if you'd like? They'd be general, though; different people respond to different approaches.

Don't give up on her right away, if you think something might be wrong; she's been your wife for a long time.

jp marriage date prior to I-94 expiration? if yes, super ! if no, need to add in I-130 into the doc set.

Yes, prior to the I-94 expiration.

I've done my best to keep the paperwork in order, despite the personal upheaval, because unless/until I'm certain the relationship is completely over I'm going to stay on the right side of USCIS so we have the option of being together.

2. He has a fear (I do) and getting up in front of a large audience to have a large wedding. A private wedding by a judge is less fearful.

After all he said he still wanted to marry with a court procedure.

3. He feels that he should be the provider and feels uncomfortable with you paying for everything.

Is the thoughts of having a large wedding and promises your assumptions or were they actually discussed?

Just to answer these points:

2. He's a performer and is regularly on stage in front of big groups. If he has stage fright, he's done a good job of hiding it so far. But good point; I know it is an issue for many people.

3. Yes, he's said things a couple of times about how he'll be a good provider. My usual response: "What is this, the 1950s?!?" I've been paying my own way since I was 15, and I'm not about to stop. Plus I was in a financially abusive relationship before (where a partner uses control of joint finances as a way to control their partner's behavior, by making it impossible to get money to do anything they don't want you to do) and I don't want to put myself in that position ever again.

When we've talked about money stuff, he's always said he's OK about me doing most of the budgeting and financial planning because I'm a maths geek and he's not, so all the numbers make a lot more sense to me. But yeah, his family are quite old-fashioned and he does seem to have picked up some 'manly provider' ideals from them... I'll have a talk to him and find out if it's a problem that I was going to pay for most of the wedding, with his parents picking up the rest. We agreed to it back in Australia, when he was the one having issues with getting steady work due to visa status; now over here he's got a good steady job and I'm not allowed to work here so I have very little income. He keeps offering to pay for things and I mostly won't let him; maybe he has more issue with that than he lets on. I'll ask.

As for having a large wedding: he has 10 sets of aunts and uncles, over 30 first cousins (many with partners and kids of their own now), plus parents, grandparents, great-aunts and great-uncles, 3 siblings, 5 nieces and nephews so far... There's never been any choice for either of us, but to have a fairly large wedding. All his family gatherings are enormous; it seemed like that was just normal to him.

I've waited a while to post an update, because I really wanted to have good news to share, though can't really say I do.

I'm still in the USA. A little while after I last posted, he took a day off work to drive over to see his aunt to get his grandmother's engagement ring. So he did finally actually propose to me, and we patched things up. He promised that we'd have a real wedding, we'd just have to do the legal one first so I could stay long enough to have a proper wedding.

A friend of his mom's is a JP and agreed to sign the marriage papers without doing a real wedding. We've put in the AOS paperwork, and he paid the fee as a sign of good faith, since I already paid so much to move over here to be with him. So I'm here legally; no matter how messy my personal life is, I'm not about to mess with USCIS.

We rescheduled the wedding for a few months' time. Obviously it would just be a religious/social wedding, since the legal wedding is done, and he said it would be better because I could give people back in Australia enough notice that they might be able to attend. That was a couple of months ago.

There's really no difference between now and the last time around, though: he still has no interest or inclination to help organise a wedding. And I've been hesitant to really jump into wedding planning again, since I wasted so much time and effort (and so many tears) trying to organise this wedding once already. So nothing is happening. We had six months to get everything ready for the new wedding date; a third of that time is gone now, and not one thing is organised.

I haven't given up on the relationship, because there are good things about it as well. I don't doubt that he loves me; he just won't do anything about actually marrying me. I don't really get what his problem is. I've talked to him about it about a million times now, and he never has much to say about it. He says the only reason he hasn't gotten into helping with the wedding this time, is that he's just started a new job and is really busy. Which is true, but his apathy about the wedding didn't start when he started the new job, and he still finds time for leisure stuff like TV and funny cat pics, though I know he needs some downtime after work.

So I'm pretty sure now that we'll never have a religiously-valid marriage (which matters to me, and matters to his family, but not to him), and we'll never take marriage vows or make a public commitment to each other. Which makes me sad, but there's nothing more I can do to convince him to make good on his various promises.

I try to concentrate on other things instead, like making some sort of life for myself over here. I spend most of my time sitting around alone at his parents' house atm, which isn't great for my sanity. So I'm trying to use the time to get fit, and get stuff like moving money over from Australia sorted out. I find it better to think about stuff I can actually do something about, instead of getting upset about his wedding-related cold-feet (or whatever it is) any more. Seems like the best I can do for now...

I arrived on K1 almost a month ago and already have insurance -- heavily subsidised because I'm months away from being allowed to work (if things ever get that far ) so I won't have great income this year. I went to the local Blue Cross Blue Shield subsidiary, and they knew how to do it, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by how little it cost after the subsidy and how good the coverage is for the $$. So yes, it definitely can be done!

IIRC they just needed my passport, visa, A number, and I have to send in proof of income.

Try a different insurance company, if you can, or at least a different staff member; sounds like you got a dud.

Thank you so much to everyone who's taken the time to reply.

It's more of relationship advice you're asking for I don't feel qualified to provide one, but maybe he just isn't on board with spending a lot of money for the wedding ? Not sure what your and his financial situation is, but people here throw expensive weddings putting themselves in debt which I personally don't think it's smart.

I've never asked him to spend a cent on the wedding, and I completely agree that racking up heaps of debt for a one-day party is unwise. I planned a wedding that could realistically be done, with 100 or so guests to accomodate his large family (I basically don't get to invite anyone), for $2K. Which I would fund, from my own savings. And then his parents offered to pay for a bunch of the big expenses (food, photographer, hair & makeup) so we could have a nicer wedding, because even though $2K for a party would usually be heaps, it doesn't go far on wedding stuff.

I have enough savings to pay for our wedding, buy a car for myself with cash, and put down the deposit for us to buy a house. After that I won't be an equal contributor week-to-week, but I will be able to pay for my own healthcare and food at least, so he shouldn't be out any money on having me here.

It sounds like he still wants to marry you, just not have a wedding - correct ? Is the wedding and engagement ring really a problem ?

Yes, that's about right. He's even said stuff about how he'll be a great husband, and I had to point out that becoming a husband involves getting married, and he cancelled that!

If he'd been honest at the start, we could've worked something out. The problem isn't so much the wedding and engagement ring, as the way he's handled it and the complete loss of trust. So many times, he's promised me he'd get his act together and our wedding would happen, then just kept ignoring it til it did eventually go away.

The ring especially should not have been a big issue; it's more that I really wanted to announce my engagement to the world and celebrate it, but he seems to want it to be just between us! For example, the first month or so I was discussing wedding plans with his mom, she was extremely uncooperative and I couldn't work out why, so finally I asked him to speak to her about it, and after about a week of begging he finally talked to her... and it turned out she didn't know we were getting married, because he'd never told her! He swears he did, but somehow an announcement that important just didn't register with any of his family...

I don't mind having a basic, simple wedding (a $2K wedding ain't fancy!), I'm just upset that I've told him so many times over the last six months or so, "this is something that's really important to me," and each time he's promised that everything will be fine once we got over here... and then he didn't follow through on those promises, and instead at the first opportunity, he cancelled the whole thing!

I also would just like to be marrying someone who's excited and happy to be marrying me, and who wants to celebrate that; not someone who treats it like a chore. I'm so sick of being upset, and having relationship talks about our stupid wedding, and begging and nagging him to follow through on his promises. There is no happiness in getting married for either of us, now. And I was so excited at the start! I made Pinterest boards of wedding stuff, and I am not into weddings at all. And now I'm just so humiliated that he'd call it all off so lightly.

My fiancé cancelled our wedding a few days ago, and I have no idea what to do.

He says he still loves me and wants to be with me, and that him telling his parents, siblings, and other relatives that the wedding is off is just a "misunderstanding". But how does someone "accidentally" cancel their wedding, without realising that's what they're doing?!?

He has been apathetic about our wedding from the start; like I wasn't able to convince him to do ANYTHING to help organise it -- not even things I truly can't do for him like the guest list (ie working out who he wanted to invite!) Over the last six months, we've had soooo many arguments where I got upset and said, "honey, if you don't help me with [major wedding thing like venue / celebrant / invites], there won't be a wedding"... and not one single one of those things got done. There wasn't anything to cancel, really, because nothing at all was booked, and not even a Save the Date had been sent! (I couldn't get it all done alone from the opposite side of the world, as its a small town where everything is done through word of mouth and prior relationships, and I'm an outsider and don't know who to go to for things, if that makes sense.)

Honestly, we're not even properly engaged. I really wanted to announce our engagement back in Australia so I could have an engagement party with my friends and loved ones at least, since most can't come to a wedding in the US. But he told me we had to wait because when his grandmother died she left her engagement ring to him and insisted it be used when he got engaged. He promised that we'd get engaged for real as soon as we got back to the U.S. so he could honor his grandmother's dying wish, and of course I agreed... but we've been back a month now, and we're still not actually engaged. And that's just one example; he's made so many promises and kept zero so far.

I want to go home to Australia and be done with all his BS, because even though I still love him, I just can't take any more. Plus the trust is gone now, and I don't think that's a good way to start a marriage. But every time I say so, he begs me to stay and tells me we can still have the life we'd planned over here. He wants me to go to the courthouse to get legally married but I don't want a pretend, 'just for the paperwork' marriage, and if he'd told me that's what I was getting into I wouldn't have moved here.

But it's all complicated by the fact that I don't have a life to go back to there now, as I wound up my business, gave up my apartment, got rid of most of my furniture and household items, and shipped the few things I still own (my most treasured possessions) when I left to start my 'new life' here with him. Even my cat is here in the US with me, and Aussie quarantine laws mean I won't be able to move her back home for at least six months, but I have to leave within two months so I won't be here to get her ready to travel. (I know lots of people don't understand being so attached to an animal, but my cat is family and leaving her behind would be heartbreaking for me. And I'm already pretty heartbroken over the wedding.) I don't have any family I can move in with back in Australia, so I'd be starting over back there with nowhere to go and no possessions beside the clothes and gadgets in my suitcase, as the few things I shipped won't arrive in the US for at least 2-3 months, and then it'll be another 3 months or so to ship it back again. Plus transporting me + my stuff + my cat back home again will be another $5-6K, and I just paid that much to move over here!

I gave up my old life to be with him, so going back means starting over again, and I just did that here a month ago. I'm tired, I'm out a lot of money, and I'm heartbroken that he'd cancel our wedding.

I don't know what to do.

Bump

Anyone on here used one of these companies to ship your stuff? How did it go?

Thank you!

Looking for any members who used either Allied Pickfords, Kent Removals, or OSS World Wide Movers to ship their stuff from Australia to the U.S.

How were they: good, bad or indifferent?

Would you use them again?

Any tips you'd share / things you wish you'd known, in hindsight?

I'm trying to pick the shipping company to move my stuff. I'm only taking sentimental and irreplaceable things, so it'll be a shared container. I got quotes from a few, and those three are my shortlist.

OSS have had best customer service by far so far, but they're $500 more expensive than Kent (who are cheapest; Pickfords are in the middle). Pickfords have heaps of terrible reviews online, so I've almost crossed them off... but I know most online reviews are fakes, so looking for some reviews from real people here.

So if you used one of the companies above, please share!

If my husband who has lived in US all his life is willing to move to a third world country and leave the opportunities over here, why can't foreign spouses leave US if the marriage did not work especially after just arriving within a few months!

I've seen this sentiment so many times on here, "WHY DON'T THEY JUST GO HOME?!?" if the relationship doesn't work out. Every time, I think "well duh" but I haven't yet seen a single USC who's mentioned one of the main reasons people might not leave: it costs major money.

I'm about to move over to be with my USC fiancée, so I'm surrounded by bills and quotes for moving costs atm. I genuinely love him and will do everything in my power to make our relationship work. But if it doesn't, it'll likely be hard for me to leave the U.S. because I can't really afford to do all this twice:

1. A one-way flight back to my country, booked a while in advance, typically costs about $1500. On short notice, it can be well over $2000. Flights to many foreign countries are expensive - hundreds if not thousands of $$, which the foreign spouse may not have.

2. If a foreign spouse brought a child over with them, they have two flights to pay for, not just one, so double the amount. Two kids? Three flights. Etc. (Thankfully not my situation.)

3. I'm bringing my beloved cat over. That's another $2k. Some of us have four-legged family members, and having to abandon them would be heartbreaking. Also: when I adopted my kitty, I made a commitment to care for her. I wouldn't renege on that commitment lightly, any more than I'd renege on marital commitment lightly.

4. I'm also bringing over my few most treasured possessions. Even after getting rid of most of my stuff and only bringing things with major sentimental value, plus clothes etc, quotes are running $800-1200.

I know some people don't like talking about money, but it is a major factor in whether people stay or go. Even for countries much closer than Australia, it can cost thousands to return yourself, your kid(s), possessions and maybe pets. If you don't have the $$$$ and don't have anyone who'll pay it for you, you can't leave. Simple as that.

Many of us foreigners put all our eggs in one basket to be with the USCs we love. So if the unthinkable happened, some of us simply cannot afford to pack up and pay all those costs a second time.

And when I hear the "WHY DON'T THEY JUST LEAVE?!?" brigade get started on here, I wonder how much they truly understood what their foreign partner has gone through and sacrificed to be with you... and if your perspective is, "they're getting a GC off me, they better be soooo grateful", not "they're leaving behind their whole life for me, wow", I can see why the relationship mightn't work out.

I'm not singling you out, ca_babe, I've seen heaps of people post the same sentiment.

It just perplexes me why the sheer immediate financial cost of paying for tickets home for themselves, kid(s), maybe pets, and whatever treasured possessions they brought with them, never seems to be mentioned when relationships that didn't work come up...

I'm not a lawyer, but I would expect the people who've witnessed him abusing you would need to be willing to make a statement to the police about it, or at least write a sworn statement themselves about what they saw and when, for it to carry enough legal weight to prove the abuse.

All that said: there are domestic violence services that specialize in helping people escape situations like yours, and they will likely give you much better advice than anyone here. If you don't have free use of a computer or phone, maybe see if your new friend / potential partner can find out where you can go for help. But be very careful about your husband finding out if you seek help to leave: delete your browser history, make sure calls to helplines won't be seen on phone bills etc. Statistically, domestic abusers are most likely to kill or permanently maim their partner when they try to leave, so you're right to be cautious and careful.

And fwiw, the reason laws like VAWA exist is because predators target people who won't be able to escape easily - and it doesn't get much harder than leaving behind your entire life to move to a new country for someone, so all you have there is them, and being legally obligated to stay with them to keep your visa. Most foreign spouses and fiancés quit jobs, give up careers, sell or give away most of their worldly possessions, give up their home (by selling or ending the lease), and spend a lot / all of their savings to relocate to be with their USC spouse. That puts you in a tough position if the marriage doesn't work out, and a near-impossible one if your spouse is abusive.

People seem to forget that abusers don't try to strangle you over coffee on the first date. Most are adept at hiding their behavior til their partner can't easily leave; they learn very quickly that if they show the other side of their temperament to people who can get away, they get dumped by EVERYONE: not just partners, but friends, colleagues, etc. too. That's a strong incentive to have a charming public face, and to reserve outbursts for those who can't dump them.

Get some help from people knowledgeable about dealing with situations like this. I'm sorry to say this, but in the situation you describe, you're probably going to need it.

We were in the same position six months ago, though luckily my US citizen partner has been able to stay with me in Australia; we haven't had to be separated for ages like many people here. (We were apart for 3 1/2 months while we got his Aussie visa, faster my US visa ran out and I had to come back for a while; even that was really hard.)

The step-by-step guide to filing the I129-F on here was an absolute godsend; we followed it to the letter, included lots of evidence that we'd been together a long time, and we have our interview on Tuesday. Hopefully, with a little luck, we might have the visa in hand within 3 months of our lodgement date. We did get extremely lucky to be processed in California though, instead of Texas, which seems to be a big part of why ours was processed so fast.

We knew we wanted to get married in the US; his mother would've flown to Australia just to strangle me if we'd gotten married over here! Seriously though, his family is huge and mine is tiny, so far fewer people have to travel a long way if we get married there.

K1 does get your fiancée to the US fastest, but it's overall the longest and most expensive process, because she'll have to adjust status after she gets there, and won't be able to work til she gets her green card.

Congratulations!

Guess you'll be back together soon, now?

Also, I asked the doctor at the medical exam whether my medical clearance would be good for 3 months or 6 due to Class B medical stuff, and she said it's up to the Consulate. They look at what's in the medical report and decide how long to clear you for. But if they do say it's only valid for 3 months but you want to travel later, there's a reassessment process they can do that's much faster and cheaper than the original assessment, and then gives you another 3 months to travel. So if they say my medical is only valid for 3 months, I'll see about getting the reassessment so I can still go in December.

I think we got really lucky!

I also think that maybe it is because we have our partners living with us?

Mine has been here with me in Aus for 5 years, its going to be a huge adjustment for all of us!!!

Weve decided to just sell everything we own. Were been in contact with a local charity that provides furniture and household stuff to refugees who have been released from detention with nothing and have asked for them to help us coordinate giving all of our stuff to them so that will help with the process too!

I have my medical on Wednesday. I'm so nervous. I also have a medical condition so im interested about the outcome!

Well if you see 2 females, one who is covered in tattoo's (I might wear a long sleeve top on the day to look 'presentable' lol then its us!!!

Ill just smile and wave at everyone, there are a few of us on here with the same interview day! Eeep!!!

How soon after visa in hand are you guys thinking of leaving? Were looking at September 8th maybe... Wedding the month after. Were just doing court house and a weekend away with the family and close friends in Down town San Diego (Not really interesting for anyone other than me!) and then a fancy dinner somewhere! Very low key!!

Sorry, meant to reply a few days ago but got really busy.

You're right, we did get really lucky, getting such fast processing. It's been quite a scramble getting everything ready in time for the interview on Tuesday, but now that all the difficult stuff is done (police check, medical exam, documents sent over from USA, DS160 etc), it will be really good to hopefully have some certainty while we're packing everything up to move, by already having the visa (fingers crossed!)

Yes, it is possibly because we're living with our partners. Five years together is a long way from the 'mail order bride' scenario they seem to be worried about, and it's a long time to put up with someone if you were really just after a green card - so I guess they're satisfied you're a genuine couple. My partner and I haven't been together quite as long, but we've lived together here in Australia for over a year, and in the US for a few months before that. Plus we're already in a civil partnership (registered de facto relationship), so we're sorta almost married already. After five years living together, your marital status would be pretty similar; even if it's not registered I think it's considered a common law marriage after however long living together? Still, good that you can actually get married over there; Australia is so behind-the-times as far as equal recognition of same-sex relationships goes!

We're not planning to move any furniture over either (well, maybe one mosaic table that I made myself) but there's enough sentimental personal items that I'll be shipping a few boxes over. I also have a business here to close out, stock to try to sell at somewhere near what I paid for them, a cat to transport with us, plus all my other ####### to sell or Freecycle.

We're going to try to stick to our original plans if we can and move back in December (so he's home for Christmas), get married on Valentines Day next year. (Not for the romance of it, but because there's half a chance I'll actually remember my own anniversary if it's on VD Day, as we both call it.) We'll also be having a pretty low key wedding; more like a backyard party with a short Jewish ceremony at the start. But his family is huge and some of my friends want to come over from Australia for it, so the more notice we can give everyone, the better.

Our interview's at 10:30 so we'll look out for you; my partner's a tall lanky half-Hispanic guy, I'm ridiculously pale with reddish hair. Come say hi if you spot us, and I'll do the same if I see you!

You should probably change your timeline if it was processed at California Service Centre as it currently says Texas

OK, found the right spot; updated now. Sorry about that, still learning my way around.

Were in the same boat! We thought that it would be around xmas when we moved (thinking that would be quick) Our interview is the same day as yours!

Application to interview in around 70 days.

We have decided to go over in September and have a small ceremony in the second week we get there and do the legal stuff with our close friends and family. We are also wanted a wedding around V day (The day we became 'official'!!)

Its a nice problem to have but still a problem, there is so much to do, so much to organise, I totally understand your stress with this.

I guess you will just have to wait and see if your medical is 3 or 6 months and then go from there?

Its such a big life change and Im trying hard to pre plan as much as I can but its so hard when you have no real timeline.

Good luck with the rest of the process and maybe we will bump into each other at the interview!!!

Yes, nice problem to have... but still a huge, life-changing move.

I finally found the right part of the CDC manual, and it looks like 3 month validity on health checks is only for people who have TB or HIV. So fingers crossed my health check is good for 6 months and we can stick with our original plans. My health check is this week, so hopefully the doc will tell me then.

I think I read somewhere that health check only has to be under a year old when we file AOS, so hopefully we won't have to do it a second time.

Completely agree that it's hard planning until you know the timeline. We can't even confirm our wedding date til we have the visa... makes it so tough on friends and family, too; asking them to travel to the opposite side of the world on short notice. Wedding will be 95% his family and friends, with maybe a dozen of 'my' people if we're incredibly lucky. Even my American friends all live hours away from his home town.

Still, I'm crossing fingers that by the end of July, we'll have the visa in hand and five months to use it; then we can book flights, start selling my stuff, get quotes for the things I want to ship, and start organising the wedding. And bank accounts, buying a house, my partner getting a job back at his old work (we hope; they have said there's a job waiting for him).... So much to do!!

But I'll worry about that later, medical exam, police certificate, financial details and all the rest in time are plenty to worry about for now...

Good luck for your interview, and if you see us there, come say hi! I'm still working out how to add photos here, but I'll try to put one up before then.

PS: I looked at all the K1 timelines on here for the last decade, and we're both in the fastest 1% out of 19,000-odd complete timelines. Either we had extremely compelling, well-presented cases, or got extremely lucky, or both.

really happy for you guys! wish our noa2 can be a bit faster too. fingers crossed.

Thank you!

Good luck, hope yours comes through soon!

You should probably change your timeline if it was processed at California Service Centre as it currently says Texas

Really?? Just went in to check and when I look at it, it says California... gremlins in the system, maybe? Eh, technology. Makes our lives sooo much easier.

Ah I am SO incredibly jealous! I'm Australian and waiting waiting waiting, NOA1 26 March, texas service centre too. Super depressed here without him. I wonder why your application got processed before ours?!!

So happy for you though!

Thanks!

Honestly wish I could tell you why ours was done so quickly. Just lucky? California does seem to process the 'decision ready' ones quickly.

We are living together here in Australia, in a registered de facto relationship (civil partnership), and maybe got expedited even though we didn't ask because his mother's sick and his grandparents are old, and all living in the USA.

Maybe my months of worrying and obsessively researching, here and elsewhere, paid off and our application was so great they went, "Yes! We want this lady in our country!" (Hey, a girl can dream... more likely, whatever poor civil servant got stuck with our inch-thick application went "omg what have they put in this thing?? newspaper clippings of your boyfriend talking about you when he's meant to be promoting his play?? How do I get these people off my desk as quickly as possible? Right, APPROVED stamp. Goodbye crazy people." )

We did have heaps of evidence of being together, visiting each other multiple times, all that; maybe it helped. But lots of people on here seem to have that, and still don't get fast approval like that.

I do suspect the close diplomatic relationship between the USA and Australia effects these things; my partner's visa to come here to Australia for a year was approved in under a day. It's like they can just log straight into the other country's government databases, see everything your own government knows about you, and if it all seems OK they just say yes. Or maybe I'm paranoid, and both countries just consider the other's citizens really low risk?

Really wish I knew what the secret for super-fast interview was; I'd happily tell you all if I knew!

Good luck, hope your approval comes through soon.

We are close to your date, and we have received our NOA2:

Petition sent - 5/9/14

NOA1 from TSC - 5/13/14

Transferred to CSC - 5/15/14

NOA2 - 6/19/14

It took 37 days, and we had no RFE's.

Based on the information on this site, we expected to wait 3-5 months. In fact, I searched the stats many times, and for people filing petitions for Moroccans, I don't know that it gets much faster. We are VERY lucky. Alhamdolilah.

We had a similar experience; filed in May and expected 5 months, but our interview is next month!

We were also lucky enough to be routed to CSC, which seems to have faster processing. But we also included a huge package of proof of relationship; our I129-f package was almost an inch thick!

We'd prepared ourselves for worst case scenario, but instead have been really lucky.

Hope the OPs petition gets fast approval, too...

see if you can get the interview resceduled for a later date. This whole thing is a gamble with time. We were hoping that he'd be here by mid-November. He's through the process and is now really feeling the pressure to purge, sell, give away, ship his stuff.

Good luck!

Thanks!

I'm just starting the ship / sell / donate process now, and it's weird how much stuff there is when you start having to look at each piece individually and decide how much you value it, and then either pack it, sell it or give it away.

Best of luck with your new life in the USA!

This happened to me. It makes me feel really bad for people that are ready to go and have to wait so long. I actually contacted my consulate and asked if we could push out our interview until Dec/Jan and they were fine with it. Something you could inquire about if you wanted.

Even so, I know the move will come really fast when it gets here. I am making many, many lists to try and stay organized. Lists of what I own, what is moving with me, lists for things I need to do before I leave. I find that is helping me.

Just think, it may be rushed, but soon this step will be all over with. I think that is going to feel really good

I'm a list-maker too.

And yes, it will be amazing to get over there and start the 'new life'; we've been in a state of limbo for months, not wanting to put down roots too much in Australia because we know we'll be leaving at some point, but also not able to start anything over there til we get there.

Does make me feel really sorry for the people whose limbo time extends for years, not months. US immigration is an unpredictable beast.

There were parts of my journey that were slow and parts that were fast. I picked up my visa today and while I've been preparing for this moment for the last six months, it still seems a bit surreal. And I know that with AOS, ROC and then naturalisation, I've only taken the first step in the journey.

2-3 months from a sent petition to interview is very fast, especially if you didn't request an expedite. Unfortunately, there are many others who are less fortunate. Be thankful for your quick process and hope that the rest of the journey is as swift and smooth. Good luck!

Congrats on getting your visa! So much work, even getting to this point.

You're right that getting the visa is really just getting out of the starting gates; still have the whole marathon to run.

We didn't request an expedite, but possibly we got one anyway. My USC partner is living here in Australia with me atm, but our main reason for moving is that his whole family is in the US, his mother had a major health diagnosis a while ago and has to make big lifestyle changes ASAP (and since they're Southern, only way they know to make food is bacon fat and/or butter in everything), and his grandparents are at an age where they likely won't be around too much longer. Pretty sure we mentioned that at the bottom of the covering letter, to explain why we were applying. One of his uncles died last week, and he's missing the funeral to be here with me.

So maybe they sometimes expedite to reunite USC families even if you don't ask for it?

Or maybe they rate Aussies as extremely low risk, because they figure that if you're moving from a country where minimum wage is $20/hour to one where it's $7/hour, you must be doing it for love.

We are extremely thankful that, with any luck, the uncertainty will be over within a month or so for us.

We're especially thankful to the people who wrote the I129-f guide on here; we followed it to the letter, and for us, it's worked out well so far. So big thanks to the people who compiled it!

You can reschedule the interview - just write an email to the embassy and ask for a later date.

Also, after the visa is issued you will have 6 months until it expires.

Thanks.

I got very worried that because I have serious medical issues and will almost certainly get Class B condition on the medical exam, it would only have 3 month validity so I'd have about 2 months from when I'm likely to actually get the visa, to pack up my whole life and move... with aforementioned serious medical issues, which slow me down sometimes and mean I can barely lift anything, which makes packing boxes difficult.

I finally found the right part of the CDC manual, and it looks like the 3 month validity is only for people with TB or HIV; as far as I can tell, other Class B conditions still get 6 month validity. 5 months to pack up and leave my life here behind, I can handle; 2 months, not so much.

(Yes, I get very worried about things. I copped a very heavy-handed interrogation from a border control officer a while ago, even though I hadn't done anything wrong. I still have nightmares about it. US immigration scare the ####### out of me, so this whole process makes me very nervous.)

Might've finally found an answer to my own question after hours of searching:

"How long is the overseas medical examination of aliens valid?

For applicants examined in countries using the 2007 TB Technical Instructions (now referred to as the Culture and Directly Observed Therapy [DOT] Technical Instructions), the medical exam is valid for:

6 months if the applicant does not have a Class A TB, Class B1 TB, or HIV condition;

or 3 months if any of these conditions exist."

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/immigrantrefugeehealth/exams/medical-examination-faqs.html

Still... did anyone on here get a 3 month exam validity, for anything other than TB or HIV? Or is it strictly only TB or HIV that gets you limited to 3 months from exam date to travel?

As for the genuine relationship, there are no objective tests. It is all subjective. I think there is enough here to pass muster. But that is only my opinion.

Good luck to you.

Thank you everyone!

For anyone in a similar situation, seems like none of the stuff I was worried about has mattered so far; we got NOA2 much faster than expected. We did have strong evidence of a relationship, including plane tickets and visa stamps to show I was in the USA when I met him; same to show I went back to the USA to spend more time with him; same to show he followed me back to Australia when my visa there ran out; Skype and chat records while we were apart; and stuff to show that we live together in Australia atm and are registered de facto partners, so are legally next-of-kin here. (Australia's solution to recognising gay people's relationships without allowing gay marriage, but also available to hetero couples.)

So the posters above were right; genuine relationship seems to be the main thing they're interested in; the other stuff I got worried about has been mostly beside the point, so far.