Laspoxaroumeni

Tuck, I'll share my thoughts and personal experiences, but unfortunately it all comes down to the two of you. At the end of the day the TWO of you will make it work or you won;t. Nobody can do it for you.

Our first three months together were hell, the next three months were slightly less hellish. In the next thee months my wife asked how she can file for divorce. Twice my wife has taken herself to the airport. Marriage made in heaven right?

There is so much at play here that you have no idea about.

I do not subscribe to the idea these girls plan these things out. I think they have every intention of making a life with us. But, the reality of middle class life in the US is very different then they imagine it to be.

Those of us who like to travel and experience new cultures don;t realize how traumatic this move is for family based cultures. We live alone and like. Asians not so much. They love the family, social aspect of their life. Suddenly it's just the two of you. Face it your not that charming after a long day of work.

Most likely she is bored, lonely, and homesick. mostly homesick.

You also need to consider what is going on in the background with her family. Are they pressuring her for money? After all, now she has a rich American husband she should be building a new house for mom, buying motorbikes for her siblings, etc. If she is torn between her responsibility to her family and to you, who does she choose?

I am completely convinced my wife would have left in the first three months had it not been for a couple Thai girls here in town who knew exactly how to handle her. Finding that support system is crucial to the adjustment. You can tell her truths over and over, but they don;t ring true until she can hear it from her sisters. My wife thought I was lying about having to make a mortgage and car payment each month. When the Thai girls told her it was true, then she believed me. She couldn't understand how I could afford to stay in Thailand for months at a time, go out party, eat, tour, etc. but in the US I had to live on a budget. What really made it real for her was finding out the other girls work two or three jobs so they can have a house and car and "stuff".

My wife is very independent. She had her own business. Car, motorbike, etc. she could go and do as she pleases. Suddenly she is completely dependent on me for everything. money, food, transportation. I'm sure you don;t treat her like a slave, but she could easily feel like one.

When my wife asked to go back home for the umbteenth time. I said ok, but we have put so much time into this process please wait until the AP comes through otherwise it's a one way trip. I said the day you get the AP, if you still want to go home I will buy a ticket. The AP arrived, she put it on her wallet and she is still here.

Tuck, this process is much more difficult for her then it is for you. I'm sure there is more going on in the background then you are aware of. You have to be the better person here. Turn a blind ear to what she says and try to hang in there.

If she is intent on self pitty there isn;t a lot you can do. But Phils girls are by nature fun and light hearted. You just need to find that part of her again.

A few ideas:

Get a tablet for her

Set up a facebook account for her

Set up a skype account for her

Get her on the phone with her family

Get her access to native tv programing. Movies, tv shows, etc. If she spends all day looking at soaps, thats ok.

If she won;t go out to meet local Phils natives, ask a few to come to your house. They will know just how to handle her.

Give her an out. Do this and this for me, if you still want to go I will buy the ticket. Give her some control over her life.

*** Self serving Soapbox moment ***

For those of you who do not have a spouse from a poor country. Please refrain from comment like "she planned this" "this doesn't sound right" "she has an agenda" etc. If you come from a wealthy western country, you have a skill and a good job, you have no idea of the dynamics at play here. You need to spend time in these cultures to understand them. Our western morals and attitudes just don't fit in all situations. So please, be supportive and respectful. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let Tuck decide if she is genuine or not.

*** Stepping off soapbox ***

U are so awesome! Well done!!!!

Congrats and good luck on ur journey guys!

My friend!! Have u ever wonder that ur wife is depressed???

U said she is home doesnt want to get a license or do things for her. Maybe she has depression! She misses her family back home. Is not easy to leave ur family and go to another continent! Talk to her and comfort her. Maybe she wanted to have a romantic wedding for example. And not go to the court and just sign a stupid paper. Maybe u re not that sweet and romantic with her.

She needs more attention! If u really love each other dont be afraid to talk and find a way to fix the problems.

Have on ur mind that she left her country not u!

Well!! best wishes and good luck!! Be patience... Cause i am not!!! And i have already drive myself crazy! Lmfao

Im just pissed cause on the immigration office they told us 3-5 months and as i see is the same with k3 visa. They told us k3 will take around a year. Thats the reason we didnt get marry while i was there. We would be married now and make the whole process together.

I wanna ask if someone here had a possitive mantoux when was a kid and what happend on his medical exams for the visa.

When i was a kid i did the mantoux and i was possitve and they gave me medication for 6months just in case i was sick cause the possitive mantoux doesnt mean u ar sick and they cant find it.

Should i call th embassy doctor and ask him before i go for my final medical exam?

Congrats :)

Easy to say it hard to do it .... Pfffff well i ll stay calm for one more week. lol cause im driving myself crazy!

Oh ok! Can u pls tell me why they havent cash out the money order or sent us any email since the december 23? They had at least cash the money out

Well.

Yesterday my fiance checked whats going on with the money order and uscis havent cash out the money yet.

We sent the package at december 23 and the next day we saw on the tracking info that they received it and someone sign it. WHAT IS GOING ON!

They are still on vacation? They had at least send us a text or get the money.

Maybe that means that something is wrong with papers? Pls help cause im losing my mind

What lin and msc means?

We checked the money order and they havent even cash out the money yet! So that means they havent even start or whatevee! TERRIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

At least u have the receipt. We dont even have this one.

I dont understand why k1 must be so long process. We didnt get marry just because they told us on the immigration office that the k1 will take 3-5 months but if we get marry the k3 will take a year. And as i read here everyones k1 took at least 8 months. Whats the reason to the officers lie on us? And make it harder.

Oh well at least u know something! We sent our package on december 23 and we havent get any text or email yet... Grrrrrr thats soooooooo annoyyyyyy!!!!!! and not fair at all...

Thank u everyone so muchhhhhhhh!!!!!

Ohhh well :/ lets hopeeeeeeee all this will be finished really quick

Im driving myself crazy... And that means i drive my fiance crazy too!! I really wonder why he doesnt kill me! Hihi

Ohhh well i dont think we ll be lucky cause i havent even receive an email since the day we sent the papers on the december 23

How can i find out if they cashed out the check?

I think they forgot me and my fiance

Ohhhh guys!!! We sent the I129F for my fiance visa on December 23 2013 they have received the whole package and still nothing! We havent receive any email or mail... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? are they still on vacation?

Move on!!

My opinion is that he just want to move in the states and thats why he s still with u! And if things are so bad now later will be worst! I dont want to be rude but thats my opinion!

Visa process is long and the couple must help each other on this terrible distance!

Move on sweetheart!! There are ppl out there that im sure they will love to date u

Thank u so much for ur answers guys!!!

I worry soooo much.. I think i ll have a heartattack at the end! And the worst part is i havent seen my fiance since august, he applied for citizenship and we had to wait to become a citizen to apply for my k1.

We really cant spent money now to see each other! We just hope on a miracle that the whole preocess wont take long..

Hello everyone!

On December 23 2013 we sent our paperwork for K1 visa and the next day they received them. But we havent get any email yet or something. We had attached the G1145 form on top..

And how long do u think will take the whole process? We have not previous marriages or kids and i havent overstay in US. We really dont have money to travel back and forth to see each other so we just hope it wont take longer than 3 months. On the immigration office they told us 3-5 months.