steve55
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Posts posted by steve55
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I suppose American men have managed to completely avoid the materialism that has infected american culture instead of perpetuating it themselves
Why are American men waiting until middle age to have children anyway? I think therein may lie the reason why this board has so many American women who have looked abroad for their husbands
Dude, you are so freakin missing the point!! Yes, men in the West have become accustomed to the modernities, and yes, we also want nice things, ....BUT, we men dont judge or choose whom we will love and date based on how much money the woman makes! And the men dont ###### to their wife that she isnt making enough money or contributing enough such that he will divorce or leave her! American woman do all these things! They want to much $$ out of the man. Men love for love, American woman (in general) choose who they will date and love based on his income or job status. Now, I know that NOT ALL american/Wetsern woman do this, (for example, country ladies tend to be far less materialitic and more down to earth) but you bet that most have some degree of this sick artificiality in them. Foreign ladies dont do this, or not even close to as often as American woman do. Herein lies the difference.
FOreign ladies dont demand stuff or feel entitled to everything, American ladies in general do.
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SOrry fellers, ths thread aint dead yet. LOL. DOnt put away the popcorn just yet. Im pullin out the big guns now, just for Ms Z cause I like her so much.
Cant wait to see Ms Z's reaction to that link. This guy's webpage tells it how it is. LOL. Ms Z will LOVE it!! The sad thing is that most of what he says is pretty accurate actually. Ms Z probably fits the profile to a T.
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I wonder what things like "This stuff about 40-somethings and gals in their late teens is Puritanism left over from the early 20th century." actually mean. Is the label supposed to somehow make it OK then for 40-somethings to be into young girls? I see it as either lazy argument style or substanceless argument style. It is like referencing the crusades when bashing Christianity.
Ma Z, you are clearly losing this one. LOL. Take that puritan/judgemental stick you got up your booty about the age issue and relax. Your judgemental Feminizai attitude is another reason why I run away from Western woman. Geesh.
<snip>
The Mz Z's would be having heart attacks, and pointing out "look at that bad man" , that childmolester.
Actually, I think you're a loser who can't handle adult women, period. End of story. You not only can't afford one, which is true enough, you can't compete with one. That you must go younger and poorer and out of the country to find someone who is inexperienced enough to overlook your obvious failings as a man doesn't get erased by your erroneous characterization of my stance.
I'm not a feminazi. I'm more than your equal and that's what you can't stand. And so you resort to calling me a name that somehow says that my overall message is man-bashing. Hardly. Up until my recent relationship, I dated older men at the exclusion of younger men.
Also, I serve my husband. I do this because I love him and respect him. I also have an education, earn a fine living, and have opinions. I do those things because it is a part of how I express my individuality as well as how I contribute to my family. That someone like me wouldn't give someone like you a second glance has a lot more to do with your inability to accept responsibility for your own failings than anything else. You're a loser in dating American women. And you're an obvious loser dating Filipino women.
The thing that all of your failed relationships have in common in YOU. It really doesn't matter how young they are. They ditch you anyway. You might want to look into this instead of just deciding that they're fickle at that age. Have you noticed that once again, you're blaming someone else for your failures? Hmmm....
Ms Z, it aint about affording an American woman, (I make good money and have plenty of savings), nor is it about not being able to land one. LOL. I DONT WANT ONE,...PERIOD!! !!! (Well, unless she is that 5% who arent materilistic, high maintenance, and demanding and nagging.)
Ms Z, read this link and then get back with me and tell me why I would want to date an American woman. It pretty much describes why I dont like them for dating/relationships(Im fine with them as firends and family)
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I wonder what things like "This stuff about 40-somethings and gals in their late teens is Puritanism left over from the early 20th century." actually mean. Is the label supposed to somehow make it OK then for 40-somethings to be into young girls? I see it as either lazy argument style or substanceless argument style. It is like referencing the crusades when bashing Christianity.
Ma Z, you are clearly losing this one. LOL. Take that puritan/judgemental stick you got up your booty about the age issue and relax. Your judgemental Feminizai attitude is another reason why I run away from Western woman. Geesh.
I once read where a 55 yr old guy married a 18 yr old girl and brought her to the states and she looked like 13. (You guys know how young filipinas can look at 18) Well, he reported that American woman(never men), always came up to his wife when he was out of earshot and asked "are you ok little gilr? Is this man really yoru husband? Do we need to call the police? Are you being kidnapped?". Ahhhhh, I love it!! Thast what I want. I want to bring a really petitie humble shy quiet LEGAL 18 or 19 yr old who looks underage so I can relish in these feminists western woman who CANT ST AND it!! It would make my day every day!!!
The Mz Z's would be having heart attacks, and pointing out "look at that bad man" , that childmolester.
Wow really? I haven't agreed with much that you have said so far, although I have refrained from commenting. You say that you want a girl that looks so young that it makes people (you say women) worried when they see the two of you together??? (here I would like to comment that perhaps men wonder about the legality of the relationship as well, but simply refrain from approaching the girl as they fear that then they too would look like they were doing something wrong). You don't think something sounds a bit wrong about that? For the sake of this argument, let's say that I don't have any opinion on 40-50 year old men dating/marrying 18 year old girls. What you are saying is that you want a girl that looks young enough to make people worry! My concern at this statement is not because the girl is not old enough to make her own choices (she's 18 and therefore she is old enough) but because you are flat out saying that you want someone that looks 13! *that* is messed up...that is requesting to be labeled a childmolester (as you already said in your post). Within just a couple sentences you stated that others would think you were a childmolester and that you would love to have that happen.......
All I can think right now is "wrong" and therefore I will stop typing.
Well, I was just venting. Im so sick of people judging people, how bet some revenge on them. Grrrrr. . If I marry a 18 yr old, she IS LEGAL , PLAIN AND SIMPLE!! And the Ms Z's of the world can just shut their trap. Im so sick of that kindof judgementalness on something that is legal. And yes, it would give me some pleasure in freaking out those ####### puritan tight wads out there who have issues with it. I guess Im sadistic. LOL
FOr what its worth fellas, my last fiance was 32 yrs old ok? I posted this in this forume way before this thread even started. I think the young girls are so cute and adorable so I tend to be attracted to LEGAL young ladies. I dont break the laws and so I shouldnt get ####### from anyone who acts like I do just because Ive considered marying 18 yr olds. ANyways, as it stands now, Im pretty worried to ever try to marry a 18 or 19 yr old again given the failures and that they are frivilous and dont keep their commitments. Im really not into any age anymore, I think it was just a "Thing" I was vulnerable to at one time.
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I wonder what things like "This stuff about 40-somethings and gals in their late teens is Puritanism left over from the early 20th century." actually mean. Is the label supposed to somehow make it OK then for 40-somethings to be into young girls? I see it as either lazy argument style or substanceless argument style. It is like referencing the crusades when bashing Christianity.
Ma Z, you are clearly losing this one. LOL. Take that puritan/judgemental stick you got up your booty about the age issue and relax. Your judgemental Feminizai attitude is another reason why I run away from Western woman. Geesh.
I once read where a 55 yr old guy married a 18 yr old girl and brought her to the states and she looked like 13. (You guys know how young filipinas can look at 18) Well, he reported that American woman(never men), always came up to his wife when he was out of earshot and asked "are you ok little gilr? Is this man really yoru husband? Do we need to call the police? Are you being kidnapped?". Ahhhhh, I love it!! Thast what I want. I want to bring a really petitie humble shy quiet LEGAL 18 or 19 yr old who looks underage so I can relish in these feminists western woman who CANT ST AND it!! It would make my day every day!!!
The Mz Z's would be having heart attacks, and pointing out "look at that bad man" , that childmolester.
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He doesn't want someone who is overweight but he wants women to look past weight when making a decision about his friend? Uh huh.
I noticed that one...so she has to keep fit and trim while he can let himself go? HUGE double standard!
Steve, have you perhaps thought as well that if you married a foreign woman that she would change after living her for a while and being exposed to our culture? Do you not think that maybe she would like things like new appliances, shoes and clothing? I think the second thing that bothers OP here is that you are totally and absolutely unrealistic about women in general! Yeah you can go on match.com and find women who have certain income level expectations but you can also turn it the other way around and I betchya that most of the men have certain expectations regarding women's looks/weight as well. It's a two way street bro, and finding the right person for you isn't as easy as finding the first girl on the match.com pages.
Yes, Im perfectly fine if she gains weight AFTER we marry. Ill fall in love with her even more and we'll be closer so it wont really matter. BUt at least let me have some sexual/physical attraction at the beginning huh??? Geesh.
And generally, from what I have read over the years with guys who have married filipinas here, the filipinas generally do not change much. They stay humble and non materilistic. I dont see what you are suggesting happening. It coudl, yes, but not likely. If it does, so be it. She'll be just like every other American lady, or like most I mean.(dont want to say all are that way)
And I agree, just as I have physical expectations of needing a think woman so I can feel sexually attracted to her, perhaps these american ladies need MONEY attraction in us men in order to find us attractive . Fine, we're equal. So, therefore, I choose to go out of the US to find woman who dont use money as a prerequisite for love. By the same token, American woman can do the same by going o ut of the USA to find men who dont care about their overweightness right? I wouldnt blame them if they chose to do that.
So what up? -
Now, the problem I have with Steves posts is the attitude .... Personally I dont give a rats rear end who he marries or how many visa app's he submitts ... but I get the impression he is after someone who he can control and influence to his way of thinking .. effectively creating what he thinks is the perfect little wife .... I could be completely wrong but I have this vision of this cute little Filipino girl who is told what to eat because heaven forbid she puts on a kg ... told what to wear because she has to be attractive by his standard ... told what to think because we need to stroke the ego .... and the hand outstretched for the weekly allowance because the money is after all, all mine, mine, mine.... If by chance she does get a job the money will be pooled into the joint account and strictly monitored and the excuse will be its there for a. purchasing a house or b. trips to home .... all the while his sitting on the back porch drinking his evening beer while the sweet little thing is either slaving at the kitchen sink or change one of the 5 kids diapers...
Ughhh, thats DISGUSTING!!!! I like to take care of someone and help them succeed in life whatever it is she wants to do. Im a 50/50 guy all the way. I am extremely disgusted with guys who want to control their wife, like what she wears, when she can go out etc. I told my fiances Id love to help them go to school or work, whatever they wanted to do. I also wanted them to be able to work to send even more money back home to help her family as I want to improve as many lives as I can with whatever influence I have. I am the complete opposite of a control freak. LOL. Im easy going, too easy going probably.
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He doesn't want someone who is overweight but he wants women to look past weight when making a decision about his friend? Uh huh.
NO! That is JUDGING! I am not blaming american ladies if they dont find a slightly overweight man attractive. I hop eI didnt say that cause thats not what I mean. I am saying however, he can go to a country like the Philippines where the woman dont care about that. Its just fact. Go where the ladies want you.
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Further, I wouldnt' be really proud to suggest that your friend's only chance of finding a woman is to find someone so underprivileged that even he looks good by comparison. Are you two buying these women or are you meeting women who will be partners and equals?
Well, your obvioulsy thinking in the american stereotypical way of thinking. LOL. The truth is that the disadvantaged countries are the only place where a woman can still find a slightly overweight older guy still attractive. Their value system there seems to allow for it. They're not greedy in having to have the perfect body 6 pack young stud. In fact, filipinas tell me over and over again that they prefer to marry men 10-20 yrs older. Its in their culture. In the USA, once a guy hits 40, he's done with getting girls 30 to 36 range(child bearing range). Its quite rare if so. American girls care more about youth and looks than foreign girls do. Has nothing to do with buying anyone or being unequal, its just matching up ourselves so we are in a country where the woman of that country are actually interested in us. But many americans who resent guys going overseas like that tend to present it in this negative light
You don't have to answer that question because the answer is very obvious. You're buying but you can only afford "cheap" women. Very insulting to Filipina's.I do find it amusing that Steve claims a lot of American women would marry him. And yet he can't get a disadvantaged kid from a third world country to marry him.
Im the first to admit that the first 2 girls being 19 yrs old is a risky venture. AT that age, girls dont know for sure what they want. They were confused about marrying at such a young age. STuff happens. And who says filipinas are cheap in the first place? You are the one insulting filipinas by implicating any of them as being "cheap". I view them all as equals, as human beings.
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The irony in this whole thread is that the American women on this site disprove the 'gold digger' angle at the very least...petitioning men who will likely not 'hit the ground running' and land some swish job. The American women on this site obviously also prove that we are family minded...at least in the husband/wife sense. If the American women here were interested in money and things over quality and creating a life with one man....well hell, there'd be hardly any AW here petitioning foreign men.
I agree. I think the type of woman who will want to petition a foreign man for marriage are the more mature edcuated and well grounded types who fall into that smaller non materialistic category.
I'm personally not offended by your views, because they shout to me a very sad picture...you must have been hellaciously hurt in the past, and for that, I pity you. I hope in this period you find yourself single, you do some soul searching and perhaps some therapy which gets to the bottom of why you are so scared to be with someone who has expectations of you.Everyone seems to want to make it into some freudian psychobabble. No, I havent had any hurtful past relationships relating to this subject matter. But I started to become this way as I started dating foreign ladies here in Dallas over many years and then especially when I traveled t o the philipinnes and got to know foreign ladies there and over the internet and saw the HUGE differences. Its really quite simple. I value and respect woman who are less selfish and less demanding (compared to the western attitude of "what can he provide for me" or "what has he done for me lately") and I love woman who appreciate what they have and not get upset and dissapointed in what they dont have (because hubby cant make enough). I love woman who have the ability to "accept people for who they are" instead of nagging him for who he is not or what he is not doing right. I cherish humblness and despise egotiosticalness. These polar opposite attitude descriptions are the difference between wetsern and foreign ladies,...YES, THERE ARE EXCPETIONS TO THIS. This has been my personal experience as it has been many guys who have told me the same thing.
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Steve - No woman will ever be good enough for you, no matter where she is from. Every word you have written screams of misogyny and I believe that you have some serious self-esteem issues. Steve, from my heart - learn to love yourself first and then you will be ready to accept the love of someone else and return it. Stop looking for a relationship until you are comfortable with yourself first.
Self esteem issues, well, I dont see it. But I am as you say "misogyny" (yes, I looked it up) or pissed off that so many girls here in the US are spoiled brats and are materialistic. Its not just me. I know so many guys who feel the same, (and not due to my prodding), and if you read message board forums on dating sites, you will see many many many men stating the same frustration and disgust with it. I guess this board is full of all the "good girls" then, it may be so as the type of woman involved with overseas marriage are more likely to be much more mature and well grounded than the average american girl. Then again, who would admit to being materililstic or caring about how much a man makes. AT plenty of fish.com there are many woman admitting they wont date a man who doesnt make at least $30K , and how that man would bring her lifestyle down. These woman are over there admitting it all out in the open. So yes, I see it with my own eyes. Even at work last week, I was trying to set up a friend of mine with a co worker's girlsfriend. The first thing my coworker asked about my guyfreind was "what kind of job does he have". I mean come on folks, it never ends, ITS EVERYWHERE!! Most american ladies (NOT ALL) take a man;s income HEAVILY into account instead of his character and values etc. NO thanks, Ill go overseas anyday.
90% of he time, the Foreign ladies dating profile HUMBLY says "looking for a man who will accept me for who I am". Now to me, that is a thing of beauty!!! That is music to my ears. How sweet and humble is that? No mention of money at all, and no demands placed on what that guy must be like or like to do etc, there is no ego in any of that.
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Personally, I cannot think of a single female American friend of mine who honestly gives a rat's ####### how much a man is making as long as he is trying to make something of himself and isn't slobbed out on the sofa, watching Cops and America's Dumbest Criminals, in lieu of work. Where all these grasping golddiggers are I have no idea, unless you're trying to pick up 20-year-olds at a pool hall.
Good grief, they are everywhere. Try looking at match.com. have you noticed that OVER HALF of the ladies list min income of 40-50K/yr!! The other 30 % list min income of 70K to 100K. Its everywhere!!! I see it in my friends situations with the ladies. I know several who divorced the man cause his lowered salary due to pay cut at work wasnt enough for her to handle as he couldnt find any other job paying nearly what he was making. I see it all around me, , you can pick up on societies dating requirements. I could go on and on. Its clear as daylight, with only a small number of exceptions.
And about the age comment where someone said American womans dont care about 10 to 15 yr age spreads, most do. Again, I PROMISE YOU!! Read dating sites like match.com, the ladies almost always list their preferred man as being a max of 4 years older. Dating internet sites tell alot about our western woman. Minimum income requirements are overly abundant there, not so much with the foreign ladies who moved to the USA and still have some of their country's value system.
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Lastly, no, I dont HATE American woman. I just think that most will divorce (or not even start dating a man) who doesnt make a certain amount of money. Let me prove my point once and for all
POLL for the ladies, BE HONEST!!
How many American ladies here would date or marry a man who only made $18K /yr as his career job(not due to being a student or similar circumstance)BE HONEST NOW!! .
I gurantee you, 80% of American ladies will say "NO WAY!" . But 90% of Latin or Asian ladies will say "YES WAY, as long as he works, it doesnt matter how much he makes".
Most of you know what Im saying. MONEY does matter with woman here in the US. No one will ever convince me otherwise. I honestly believe that it doesnt matter to most woman in Asian and Latin countries. As long as he has a job and is a good man, they are happy with him. This is probably at the root of why I believe love is for sale in the West. It absolutely shocks me to hear american people think that foreign ladies marry American guys for economic reasons. In some cases it true Im sure, but I believe the exact opposite is true as the study I posted from the US govt link I provided earlier indicates. Its the American ladies who marry or date based on money via a minimum income standard. Its just not openly discussed on dates of course. As the study shows, the foreign girls dont list money as one of their reasons when interviewed about why they are marrying a foreigner. But here in the west, No money, no honey! Ive seen too many friends get burned because they didnt make enough for their wives to stay happy. So yes, I am chapped at what I see go on here compared to what I see when I visted and dated and got to know woman in other countries. WHat an eye opener. Even here in the USA, I noticed this difference when dating foreign americans vs regular american girls.
No one has to agree with me here and I apologize if anyone is offended. Maybe now you know a little more as to why someone feels they prefer to seek a woman overseas. Chastize me if you want, but I cant tell yo how many men feel the same way I do. Any dating mesage board such as plenty of fish.com for example, has tons of men who say the same things about woman in Western countries . Again, I understand that NOT ALL are this way. Its just hard to find the ones who arnt .
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thats why they are a high fraud country...for their honesty?
Just read this USCIS link where the US govt did a study.
http://www.uscis.gov/files/article/MobRept_AppendixA.pdf
Apparently, after 10 years of follow up, they found that Asian /Western marriages, 80% are still married, (compared to only 50% of Western/Western marriages) and the age gaps are large by western standards, the girl often being 10-20 years younger. And when interviewed, economic improvement was not the motivating factor for marying Western men. It says so in the US govt study. Asian ladies dont easily divorce. WIth or without $$, they are happy with a loving husband. Its a fact that in America, finances are the #1 cause of divorce. Ask any mariage counselor! And its not the man leaving the woman because she doesnt make enough. !!!!!Think about it.
Many find it hard to believe, but while NOT ALL Western woman are $$$ sensitive, it is what causes many ladies to divorce or leave their man in teh US. Sorry if thats hard to accept. I dont need that kind of stress in my life. I want a woman who will stay with me regardless of what $$ I make. This is one of MANY reasons why I seek a foreign , if not filipina wife.
Sorry this has gotten so far off topic.
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There is no reason to put all American women in one category no matter what you have gone through with a few. I repeat, it has nothing to do with being from a certain country, its about being a woman and if you can't take care of them the way you want your expectations to be met, they will leave eventually. Maybe a little introspection is what you need before you jump into another relationship. Try to find out why women don't stay with you rather than shopping for another one just to have a baby. You might find that its not all women's faults that they don't stick around. After all no matter what, 3 K1s is a lot of baggage and if a woman is very easily going to overlook that aspect in your relationship then I really don't know how much she's thinking about her future with you.
Again, many men think as I do, just look at some of the replies on this board alone. SOme men are agreeing with me. A significant majority of Western woman ARE materialistic to a degree and when the man cant foot a certain lifestyle, or doesnt make enough $$, she will divorce you. FIlipinas just arent that way.
Secondly, LOL, I have no problems with woman wanting to stay with me. In fact, every girlfriend here in the US I have dated would have married me . But I was too much of a playboy back then. I even have a few x GF here who would love to marry me. But they are not my type. The girls in the philippines who backed out, again, they were too young and I took that risk of going for girls so young who may not be ready to settle down like they may have thought they were. The first one admitted to me that it wasnt me, and that she started rethinking about marrying at only 19 yrs old. The 2nd one was a similar deal excpet that her parents seemed to have oput her up to it from the get go(long story I wont go into here now)
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I thought IMBRA was also created to limit serial visa applications.
Steve55 will you stop petitioning if the next "fiancée" doesn't work out for whatever reason ?
I dont know. Im looking both here locally and still keeping the overseas option in mind. Ive not been ready to fall for anyone again. Im still trying to recover from the trauma of my last case of poor judgement on my part. The foreign ladies (from Asia and Latin America ) are so humble and undemanding and Appreciative compared to many western ladies, that I am most likely to try the overseas thing again. I have a friend who also just wants to find a wife. He is dying to go with me to the Philippines next time I go. He is having horrible luck here with the girls here in the US. He is 40 and a little overweight (6' and 230lbs) but not much. Girls here blow him off all the time, girls under 35 think he is too old for them, and girls over 35 tend to have kids and dont seem to be very interested in pursuing anything serious. He will have an easy time finding a lady overseas who would love to marry him. Also, they dont care about age differences like Western ladies tend to. In my opinion, most foreign girls simply want a husband and family (with or without material things). Maybe its because they grew up poor and dont have such high material demands. I think in general , (not all) western ladies feel entitled to everything while foreign girls appreciate whatever you can do for them. In general (not all) Western ladies EXPECT or demand to have the finer things in life and arent happy without them. I dont have that stress level with foreign ladies (at least not the ones from asia and latin america) . It seems to me that as long as a man is kind, descent and respectful , foreign girls are happy with this. Western girls, well, it takes so much more than that. Just my opinion from personal experience. I know many will disagree and thats ok. Sorry if this offends the western ladies here, but its really how I truly feel and many guys in the US agree with me on this difference.
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Do you really believe a Filipina doesn't care about the money you make?? Even if you are a poor USC their life might turn out to be better in the US than in their home country. And I think you run a higher risk of meeting these girls by looking at dating agencies that fall under IMBRA. It's a different story most of the times though, if you would go there on vacation and fall in love...Also I am sure there is a lot of filipino women who are in their early 30ies, have accomplished something in life and earn their own good money. But those probably won't even be interested in a man who seems to not being able to dal with grown-up women that are independent and not submissive. Or why do you look at 19year olds?
And why just a Filipina, any woman will care how much money her SO makes. American women are like any other women in any other country in the world - The are women!
Trying to get a wife from a third world country and that too someone who is your daughter's age who has no idea about life here is like burying your head in the sand for the time being. She will grow up and start thinking like a woman eventually and then if she doesn't want to continue with this arrangement, it can be termed fraud.
Yes, I really do believe that there are REAL differences between American and Filipinas. Sure, woman are woman, but Western woman are known to have big expectations in the $$ department. Asian ladies tend to view marriage as a "team effort" in terms of supporting a living. If there isnt enough income, they will help out. Many western woman will just divorce you. Plain and simple. I have been to the Philippines 5 times, and feel I have come to know filipinas quite well to see the difference.
On important decisions:
Westernized Woman: “You idiot. Why didn’t you do it my way?”
Filipina: “Up to you….” (This does not mean “up to you”. It means please tell me why you are doing this and then I will tell you how I feel.)
After receiving a gift:
Westernized Woman: Says “thanks” while instantly comparing it to the version owned by her most ostentatious friend.
Filipina: “Thanks, but you really didn’t need to do this.”
On Wednesday Night Sex:
Westernized Woman: “Touch me and I am calling the cops.”
Filipina: “Sure, why not.”
On Shopping:
Westernized Woman: “I just have to have that Vuitton purse/Tiffany bracelet/etc..”
Filipina: “I wonder if I can find a first-class copy.”
On Financial Setbacks:
Westernized Woman: “So what are you going to do about it.”
Filipina: “Maybe I can get some overtime to help out.”
On Exploded Home Appliance:
Westernized Woman: “I told you not to buy that cheap thing.”
Filipina: “………” Dead silence. The Filipina is hiding.
On Infidelity:
Westernized Woman: “I’ll find the nastiest divorce lawyer in Beverly Hills.”
Filipina: “The best way to keep a man away from other women is to be sure he is satisfied at home.”
Me: “I can’t cheat on her (if she is a Filipina). That woman is so good to me……..”
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I suspect he thinks that he's going to get some sort of subservient wife from another country. At his age, looking at 19 YOs is another indication that he's got baggage -- he's afraid of grown women who might actually have expectations of him.
Sorry folks, I only just now checked this forum again and now have a chance to reply. FUnny thing is, I completely forgot that I had even posted this here. I was only checking here again because I wanted to see if there were any new updates from anyone who has passed a 3rd or 4th k-1 attempt.
For starters, the quote above is SPOT ON!! I dont like American ladies because they have too much demands and expectations, especially in $$$$. And I dont find myself attracted to strong, bold, assertive, and Independent woman, I find these to be masculine traits and prefer woman to be feminine. Furthermore, with american ladies, if the men don't fit a rigid and unrealistic criteria or she doesn't feel the man can take care of her enough (even if she has a higher paying job) then she will drop him like a hot potato, regardless of his character or commitment to the relationship.This is a HUGE turn off to me. I find american ladies hard to please and to have a sense of entitlement and always demanding everything and expecting too much, whereas filipinas appreciate whatever you can do for them, and do so with humility. I dont want the stress of having to worry about my american woman leaving or divorcing me so easily, especially if I dont make enough money for her desired lifestyle. Filipinas generally accept you for who you are and will stick with you even in the toughest of times. I admire that. Thus I will keep trying for a filipina wife. In the meantime, if I meet that rare American girl who isnt materilistic and has some humility in her, then great, Ill be happy to marry a local American girl.
Secondly, I guess shame on me if I cant find myself sexually attracted to fat/larger woman.
I guess I am shallow. I wish I could find myself sexually attracted to large woman cause Id definitley have more options locally if that was the case. I tend to disagree with one poster's remark that thin woman in their 30's are not hard to find. Ive been to many local singles get togethers and other social functions and 80% of the woman are overweight to some degree or another, even if its only an extra 20 to 30 pounds it tends to be a sexual turn off to me. Cant help it. Im not "judging them", its just the way it is for me. And I agree, once you get to be my age (41), its hard to find woman in my age range who dont already have a x husband or children already, and yes, thats life. BUT, dont misunderstand my comments, Im not judging those who do. Im just saying INTSANT FAMILY is not for me. And I prefer to marry someone who is also marrying for the first time , its just more special that way. Lastly, most american ladies near my age may have a hard time having children. After 35, fertility declines sharply. Thank goodness foreign ladies dont have an age bias and thus I can find a woman young enough who hasnt been married nor has had children yet.
As it is, if I do find another filipina fiance, Im quite concerned at the odds of approval of a 4th petition. Since the IMBRA does not apply to K3's, I guess Ill just marry the girl in her country if necessary. And yes, as one poster said, it (the Philippines) hasnt been working thus far. LOL. But seeing how IMPOSSIBLE it is for me to find what Im looking for locally, it would seem I have no choice but to keep trying. I love the Philippines and the filipino culture. The woman are so humble and this is wonderful to me. It was really bad luck to have 2 filipinas back out like they did. Most guys have success the very first time. The 3rd fiance was my screw up, I made a huge bad judgement call and wont make the same mistake again.
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I've noticed alot of discussion regarding filing a second K1 visa within two years of the first, and how the US CIS mistakes "beneficiary" for "petition". What I'm curious about is the two per lifetime K1 visa sponsorship limit. It seems that the wavier for that should only be granted if a previous beneficiary dies (or a female is abused by a previous beneficiary), at least, that's the impression i get reading the forms & internal memo. I've read the GAO report that states most K1 waivers are granted, but that's for the two-year rule if I'm reading it correctly. Is there any information regarding someone who's actually willing to risk a third round of Russian Roulette? I mean, even felons get three strikes, we get only two?
Mind you, this is purely of intellectual interest to me. I have no intention of going down the aisle again, regardless of her citizenship.
I had my 3rd approved and it was within 2 years of the 2nd approval. The first 2 girls had backed out on me and never made it here to the US (they were 19 yrs old and this had most to do with it). This time it was me who backed out on this 3rd one, and she went back to the Philippines. Im still hoping to find a filipina wife cause I just cant meet the kind of woman I want here. So I may be looking for my 4th petition some day, perhpas sooner than later. Im just havent been ready to give my search any effort yet. Maybe Ill be the first 4th petition IMBRA test case here. If so, Ill be sure to let everyone know how it goes. If I could only find a 30 to 36 yr old woman in the states who isnt overweight, carrying baggage from previous marriages, and who doesnt care how much money I make, then I just might not need to look overseas for marriage.
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We've been debating what the 90 days is for, and I've put that to bed straight from the horse's mouth.
Put to bed? Nope, not really.
I already admitted before my main post with the links that per the USCIS point of view, you are 100% correct Lisa. But Im just saying that most of the experts and immigration expert sites like visa jourmney and immigration attorneys seem to take a different point of view on this. Legally, as per the USCIS view, you are right Lisa. But realistically, as per the experts in the links I provided, including visa journey.com, you are wrong.
Soooo, did you send that email to visa journey admin yet to correct their erroneous ways?
(LOL)Oh, and GOD HELP US if we all always did as the government says. Go live in communist china if thats what your cup of tea is.
Hey! My future wife is from China!
He he he. My aplogies
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If we want to discuss the morals of the system and those effected by it, we should discuss how our Government gives preference over USCs to big business employment visa processing and premium processing available to many visa types (but not K-1/K-3), a documented alien filing for their spouse to join them, etc.
EXACTLY, and thats what Im trying to tell Lisa. The govt is often F'd up big times. Some things the govt does are good and helpful, but much of the govt policies and rules are FUBAR and wasteful and not realistic,...such as the idea that the 90 days cant be part of a "making sure" period during your intent to marry. Lisa is right about the USCIS officer will turn you down faster than you can say " #######?" if you say anything other than you are 100% sure you wil marry.
Lisa and some others are trying to turn into a moralistic issue when it is not at all. As attys and even this visajourney webiste specifically says, its ok and even expected that for many folks, the 90 days is truly for making sure both of you are sure of your intent to marry. I pasted weblinks all over the place how widely held this belief is in the professinal expert immigration community. The govt however would not agree with them.
Folks, as we all know, the govt is often FUBAR and inefficient. We all know where we first saw the tern FUBAR in saving private ryan, referring to the govt's inefficiency and screwed upness. Also reminds me of the movie appllo 13 where the air filters in the lunar lander were round while the ones in the capsul were square. Thats when the flight director said "someone please tell me this isnt a govt run operation".
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Ok, let's do it this way.
Have the non-USC go into the interview and say that the USC is going to use the 90 days to 'get to know' the fiance and see what happens.
Seriously, this is really a no brainer and oh so ridiculous that this is still up for interpretation.
AGREED LISA!!
TELL THEM WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR, ITS THE ONLY WAY!!
Reminds me of when I was interviewing for a pilot position with a freight outfit paying $15K per year. In my interview they asked me "steve, if Delta or AMerican airlines offered you a $100,000/yr job 2 weeks after we hired you to work for us, would you take their offer?.
Thinking that they appreciate honesty, and the honorable answer, I said "yes of course". Only later did they tell me that I didnt get the job because I said I would leave their podunk outfit for a major airline. I could give so many more examples.
Folks , in life, you must say what they want to hear. or else you are UNFAIRLY screwed!! Its served me very well in life. Unfortunately, very often , being honest will make you the loser. Good/honest guys finish last.
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But that's the thing....while mostly everything you said is 100% factually accurate, I have to disagree with the last 2 lines. It's not a personal opinion that a K-1 is not a 'get to know you' visa.
If you can show me in the Code where it's prohibited, I'll concede.
Well I showed you where it's written in black and white on the USCIS website. If that's not enough, then I dunno what to tell ya.
Lisa, first of all, try letting your hair down for a moment and stop being so ####### and judgemental
WHat you keep claiming to show is where the USCIS says its not a "getting to know you better period". BUT what rebeccajo is saying is that as long as the intent to marry is there, no law is being broken. SHe is right about that.
Like me for example, I DO INTEND to marry my fiance. BUT, at the SAME TIME, Im going to be sure we get along in person in every day life here and that she is comfortable with life here with me in the USA during the 90 day period.
Intent = YES (thus no law is broken as rebeccajo is saying)
Getting to know each other better to be sure = YES ,(though this may fly in the face of the USCIS quote you posted earlier. Admitting this much at the USCIS interview would probably get you denied.
rebeccajo is correct in her assesment
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We've been debating what the 90 days is for, and I've put that to bed straight from the horse's mouth.
Put to bed? Nope, not really.
I already admitted before my main post with the links that per the USCIS point of view, you are 100% correct Lisa. But Im just saying that most of the experts and immigration expert sites like visa jourmney and immigration attorneys seem to take a different point of view on this. Legally, as per the USCIS view, you are right Lisa. But realistically, as per the experts in the links I provided, including visa journey.com, you are wrong.
Soooo, did you send that email to visa journey admin yet to correct their erroneous ways?
(LOL)Oh, and GOD HELP US if we all always did as the government says. Go live in communist china if thats what your cup of tea is.
Third K1 Visa
in IMBRA Special Topics
Posted · Edited by steve55
Wow, you h ave it so completely backwards. Many assumptions here. First of all, I tend to like shy , demure, more innocent and perhaps vulnerable types because I like the idea of "TAKING CARE" of someone, of helping someone to have a chance at a much better life with a descent caring guy like myself and hopefully a better job than what she might find in her country. If I can help provide that with someone I love, then that's even better. I am not at all seeking a "subserviant" woman. LOL. Im a 50/50 guy in house chores etc. In fact, there is nothing Id enjoy more helping a young woman come here and support her to go to school, get job training, find a great job so she can send money back home to help her family. There is something cute and attractive with younger more i nnocent woman who arent yet so hardened by life as we all get as we get older. But, it doesnt mean Im limiting myself to 19-21 yr olds, and in fact, Ive had such bad experiences thus far with that age range that Im seeking older woman 25-34 now. The young girls just dont seem ready to settle down and I learned this lesson the hard way. Young or old, doesnt matter at thispoint as long as you fall in love.
And I dont make $18K per year but Im saying if a guy makes $18k and she makes $18K, well, its enough to pay rent and other basic bills. If he only makes $18K and she cant work, then I agree, they should not become a couple, especially if having kids as $18K /yr probably isnt enough for basic living. What I am against american woman for is that most(NOT ALL!!), but most, expect a guy to make $40K + per year. This is freakin rediculous expectations. Why cant you american woman be accepting of a man makes $20K per yr and then the wife can work and make $20K per year (or m ore) and you both live off of $40K per year?? Im just saying, it should be more about love than about what money he makes. I have found that foreign ladies do not care what the man makes!! PERIOD!! I dont get probed by foreign ladies and I can see they dont demand or expect a certain "material lifestyle" that American woman expect. This much is clear and its why I think that most (Not all!!) american woman are artificial and mainly look at men as a economics vehicle. They love money and having material things more than loving the man for who he is.