Jamie & Izzy

Dear VJ friends,
It has been about 9 months since my husband arrived from Nigeria. I wanted to update you on our relationship status, and remind those who feel that majority of these long distance relationships fail once the beneficiary is here.
It took us almost five years to finally be together. It was a long process, one worth all the wait now that he is here. I speak for both of us when I say, our adjustment to each other has been a very successful one. He has been the most loving, caring and wonderful human being that he was then and continues to be to date. I could not have asked for more loving partner.
It is a myth when people generalize all relationships with red flags as failures. WE are proof of its success and that not every Nigerian is in this VJ just to get here and receive a GC or citizenship in the USA. Commitment and mutual respect has, and continues to be the key to our relationship and marriage. I just want to let others know although there are bad people in this world...good ones do exist. Choose your mate carefully using your head first, then let your heart give away your love. Respect yourself and know your worth and don't settle for anything less than what you deserve and makes you happy.
Best of luck to those who are still waiting for the VJ to end. Blessings!

Hello there!
Sharing with all of you my fellow applicants my 2-days medical experience at St. Lukes, here it is:
REQUIREMENTS:
2x2 photo (follow visa guided photo requirement and make sure ears are shown IDK why haha) Photo requirement: http://travel.state.gov/content/visas/english/general/photos.html Appointment letter/confirmation (shows your visa interview schedule) Money for medical fee (to be paid at St. Lukes) depends on age/case k1 visa 15 and older costs 10,035php as of March 2014 Registration form: Here is their website:http://www.slec.ph/us-visa-applicants.shtml
Click and register online (application form) print it and bring with you to fasten the process
HOW TO GO THERE via COMMUTE:
From south: Cavite/Tagaytay: Ride Lawton bus and get down at KALAW bus stop. You can take a PEDICAB or TAXI to St Lukes Extension. I went there very early so no jeep/pedicab are around only taxi it cost me 50 pesos. You can walk if you will go down at KALAW station, walk straight the 2nd street is Bacobo street just walk straight. I walked briskly and got there after 10 minutes on my second day. You can also walk from Robinson’s galleria just follow the street going to kagawaran ng katarungan (ask around if you decide to walk)
Here is my experience:
4:00 am: Lawton Bound, Kalaw bus stop then taxi
5:00 am: arrived at SLEC; showed my interview confirmation letter, passport copy, picture and online registration. He gave me Queue #32
HERE IS THE STEPS I TOOK AT DAY1: skipping the second step if you have printed the online registration
http://www.slec.ph/img/Day1.PNG
CHECK-UP proper:
1. Blood will be drawn (No fasting needed)
2. urine specimen collected (have water with you to drink, water is allowed)
important note: you should go to you medical minimum of 1 week AFTER you menstruation. They will make you come back if you just had you menstruation.
Remember your LMP (last menstrual period) ex: Feb 4-7 it will be asked repeatedly
For women, menstruation is a consideration on scheduling, for regular menstruating women, do not schedule near your period, a week after will do or weeks before, for irregular women (like me) I waited for my period and went to my medical 10 days after.
3. X-ray will be taken (bring hair tie/ponytail, they will ask you to tie your hair up during x-ray, don’t wear a dress so you won’t be naked during X-ray a gown though is provided)
4. Doctor will check up on you
You will be asked questions while you remove your clothes. Questions like are you on any medication? Have you committed or attempted suicide? Have you been bitten by a dog/cat? and so many others.
You will be inspected, private parts checked but not touched (although some I have met were inspected using gloves), abdomen palpated and that was it. It was fast and very professional. No awkwardness whatsoever. Male to male female to female for your relief haha
5. Immunization Interview
I brought with me my baby book of immunization but it is optional
6. Ground floor for further instructions
12nn im out and instructed to be back the next day
DAY 2
Steps here
http://www.slec.ph/img/Day2.png
THE VERDICT:
It is said here on VJ that on the second day when you are stamped IMMUNIZATION by the guard upon entrance your X-ray are clear and you PASSED.
My say, I was and I did. They stamped immunization but my baby book was questioned due to the primary complex medication listed on my book. I didn’t know I was 2 years old back then so doctors cleared that to me before I was given immunization. I answered honestly, im sorry I didn’t know. Anyways, my XRAY was clear so everything went well until…
THE LAST STOP
RELEASING AREA
They will first ask you to fill out an evaluation form and so I did and listed suggestions and need for improvement comments on the form.
1. Guards are friendly and very assistive
2. its too cold and food are not allowed but the waiting time passes lunch and snack time, the waiting time is too long
3. I got 1 vaccine and no refund, the price is the same whether or not you are vaccinated.
4. You give instructions on FAILED (have complications specifically probable TB ) clients too loud that people around can hear it. Confidentiality and respect please.
5. please don’t make us sign the form without releasing the CD and vaccine copy. If you guys wont give it, we have signed already. Signing can be done in seconds don’t tell us you do it to be fast. We waited long enough.
RESULT:
I was called at the releasing area Window G oh how can I forgot. Sat down and saw my CD and vaccination record. Finally, this is the end. That’s what I thought. Then nightmare came. She read my evaluation form and I can see her make faces as she reads it (in f***** front of me) and explained/defended me each one of them. That the waiting time was too long because doctors analyze the immunization suited for each client (I just thought,add more doctors its 10k worth medical a regular check-up just costs 500) and I only got one immunization because the doctors said so (I thought, so wheres my refund?) then asked me are you really sure it was loud? (like im deaf? And inventing a comment like that will earn me money!) Yes it was loud because she told the client that there’s a “spot” at his xray and only his wife can proceed with the interview because he needed to undergo more tests to check if he really has TB. She got nothing to say. I kept silent looking at my CD in my head what the F! you ask for evaluation and defend it? What a way to improve! In my shock she highlighted the medications I took when I was a baby held my results back and asked me to go back to the doctor and clear my case. I was like, what case? This…. What do you call this? A medication for? I said, primary complex. Yes, that case. Go back to the doctor if youre good to go then get back to me. I said nothing, at the elevator I don’t know if I will cry, shout or be mad. I just kept on thinking CD CD CD do it for the CD and get out of there. Im a nurse. Primary complex is an infant, toddler or young children exposed to TB. I didn’t know I had it because obviously I was cured. My X-ray are clear, if it weren’t, I won’t be accepted in a nursing school, work and most of all, I wouldn’t be fat because TB can cause weight loss. I went up to the guard and said, I needed to talk to the doctor, he gave me a number and asked for check-up? I said no, the window G girl asked me to blah blah blah and he looked confused like it never happened before that a client cleared by the doctors is asked by a TELLER to be re-evaluated. OMG. So he said just go straight at the clinic after a patient. Gladly, the doctor recognized me and told me no, no, no, youre good to go, all your labs are cleared and you were treated as stated in the book. It will be shown in your xray If you are still infected. I told her, but the girl on window G won’t release my forms. She told me, I will call her. She was holding the phone when I got out. I FIERCLY went down! She was talking to someone when I came, and with a face of a tiger I approached her, doctors on my side you B. she released the result. Effin finally!
IMPORTANT NOTE: Photocopy the vaccination form. It will be used during AOS and employment in the US. make several copies.
TIPS:
its cold. Bring a jacket
For women, schedule only after your menstruation, a week atleast
You will be hungry. Bring water and some crackers or candies you can hide.
Waiting sucks. Be friendly, talk to seatmates or bring a book or something.
Be patient. You are closer to finishing it.
DISCLAIMER: i do not own any of the pictures. i may misinterpreted the window G girl doing revenge on me after a very distinct evaluation but i really felt bad that day and she made me feel disrespected after reading it on me. im an employee and we do evaluation quarterly the clients drop it on a box anonymously. it was unethical what she did. again, like what i always include in all of my posts, im not an expert on application just stating my experience hoping to help applicants like me. Godbless all of us, interview is next! it all went well for me... check my profile for updates next posts are interview and CFO

We are approved today!

No, I didn't say that Europe was vile and obnoxious. I said that I had vile and obnoxious comments lobbed at me on a daily basis, just because I had left my house.
For example:
Walking my dogs in the middle of the day, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and with a bandanna on my head because I had been cleaning my house. I had some random guy walk up to me and ask me if I was an illegal Polish hooker.
Someone asked my husband if I was allowed to leave the house by myself, because I was obviously a Moroccan.
"Are you a mail-order bride?"
After an African American electrical engineer moved in down the street from me, I heard that our neighborhood was going to because of all of the Allochtonen. (Dark foreigners who aren't from Europe.) The only foreigners on the street were me, a Canadian, and the African American engineer. Don't you know our property values are going to drop now?
"If people are racist and nasty to you, maybe it's because you're just not trying hard enough to be Dutch. You know you deserve it." - This was from one of my husband's friends, who immediately became an ex-friend.
And again to my husband: "Your wife is an illegal alien. I'm going to call the IND (Dutch version of ICE) on her and have her deported." Yeah, go ahead lady. My mother-in-law works for the IND, and she'd throw me out herself if I was doing anything illegal.
Or the Muslim woman who was on the bus with me, and asked a Dutch woman in the chair across from her (in perfect Dutch, no less.) whether the bus went to the local market and whether their was a post office there. Swear to the gods, every Dutch person on the bus ignored her to the point that she was almost in tears. No one would talk to her. When I told her where the bus went, she was so thankful to be treated like a normal human being that she hugged me. I was completely horrified at all those people. Who the hell does that kind of #######?
And on, and on, and on...
For 8 years. And it's getting worse there.
Like I said, I expected better from Americans. But it's the same , different continent for some people.

I don't even listen to it anymore. I cut them off and tell them that it has nothing to do with me, my husband is coming in legally.
Them: "Oh yeah, then you should totally hate those line jumpers!"
Me: Um, no. I completely understand why they do it. I've been without my husband for over a year. But that's neither here nor there because legal immigration has nothing to do with illegal immigration.
Them: "But... But..."
Me: No, now you stop talking. You have no idea what you're talking about, and you're trying to tell me, who has been going through it for over a year, how it works. You have no &^%%$#%@$ clue. So now you shut up. Unless you have something profound and helpful to tell me about the LEGAL process, I don't want to hear a goddamn thing you have to say about immigration. Go be xenophobic and racist somewhere else.
Understand, I'd come to expect that behavior in the Netherlands. I was subjected to that ####### on a daily basis. I've had the most vile and obnoxious comments thrown my way because I have dark hair and eyes, and I can get tan instead of burning to a crisp in the sun. I expected better of people in NJ. (Especially people in my own family. If I hear that my husband doesn't count as an immigrant because he's a white, red-head who speaks English one more time, I'm going to seriously lose it on a cousin or two of mine.) Being subjected to those kinds of attitude is terrible and depressing and dehumanizing, and I will not subject anyone else to it nor let it pass by unchallenged in my presence.

Great news tonight!
Congrats to both of you!
Jamie & Izzy & festamati89

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

Wow, just wow. I can't believe people who do this. I am sorry your husband is treating you this way, but I don't know why you think you have the right to move here with a spousal visa when the two of you know that you aren't going to be together anymore. That is the point of that visa. If you want to move to the U.S., then get a different kind of visa, one that fits your purpose of coming here...

Yet another story that makes me all mad ! do you have any idea how many real couples who lived together know each other very well spend years together would do just to be with their spousesa... then you come along saying yeah well my husband does not want me but yet i want to go get a GC or whatever it is you have just to get in the US ... why? i don't know nor do i care ,but just knowing someone wasted time with your paper work is making me boil right now!
Sorry for sounding all angry but its just how i feel.
Do not bother traveling to the US focus on getting a divorce and have a nice Life .

So basically, you have no interest in being with this guy (understandable, since he is obviously insane), but you want to go to the U.S. anyway? Sounds like you married him for a greencard, which is immigration fraud.
BTW, he doesn't need a lawyer to divorce you, he can do it by himself, and doing so does not require your permission.

Finally got my triangle of DOOM.

Ok. Update on the SLOW processing for TSC (Texas Service Center). Hopefully this means there might be some movement with these people at USCIS. It's so unfair what they've done to i130 filers these past 16 months or so. And no apology, no nothing. But here is the letter that seemed to spark some movement with the politicians that are charged in making USCIS work for us. I faxed this letter to each and everyone who is on the Homeland Security Congressional oversight committee. To both of my Senators and my Congressman's office. My congressman's office wasn't really doing anything for me, but when they caught wind that I sent a fax or email to anybody that would listen to me....I got an email lickty split from my Congressman's office finally.

Why? Because this would make the current administration look bad (and I'm an Obama supporter for the most part....not on everything though) because it was his program (DACA "Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals") that caused the back up with i130's. And magically....when I called USCIS today and spoke with a level 2 agent/supervisor, they said they can see my file is now currently with an adjudicator. Wow! And all this time (since last November) they couldn't make up their mind if my file was under a "security check", or if it needed "additional processing" (aka bullcrap). How could it have been under a "security check" if the file wasn't even with an adjudicator? Hmmmmm.........

I think I've learned a lesson from all this though. The ONLY way you'll be able to make either a politician or govt worker do his or her job properly is to go to their bosses. And since politicians really don't have bosses, they fear bad publicity. Especially when you can make it on a grand scale. Like this....
www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/us/program-benefiting-some-immigrants-extends-visa-wait-for-others.html?hp&_r=1

So. USCIS moves when you get an EFFECTIVE politician to inquire on your behalf (key word effective) and/or the Ombudsman. Here's the link to the USCIS Ombudsman online complaint form.
https://cisomb.dhs.gov/oca/form7001.aspx

And if getting your Congressperson or Senator involved doesn't work....send a fax to the ranking people on the Homeland Securities Oversight Committees. You can get each and every one of their fax numbers here. Just click on their names or pictures.
http://homeland.house.gov/about/membership

And if you want the press to listen in...just send an email to the nice lady who wrote the New York Times article (Julia Preston) on the i130 delays. She would want to hear your horror stories for a follow up story. Send her an email here. Just go down to the bottom of her bio and click on "Email Julia Preston" and include her name in your message.
http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/p/julia_preston/index.html?action=click&contentCollection=U.S.&module=Byline&region=Header&pgtype=article

Anyway....here's the letter I faxed all over the country today. Feel free to do the same.

We filed back in September, still waiting for at least a transfer to give us some glimmer of hope. Things got really bad around the holidays for us. I think it was largely due to us realizing that we were in for a much longer delay than we originally anticipated. We're both very upset with the system, the bureaucratic and public apathy, and seemingly no way out. I got to see my husband as Christmas, but for a very short time and naturally did the family circuit and managed to squeak a few days alone. I feel so weird typing this, but you all are the only people who would remotely understand, but I felt so envious hearing his family members talk about things they all do together, or will do together. The simplest things, too. Everyone gets to spend time with my husband but me.
We've started to discuss me moving to England. When we're feeling whimsical we talk about settling in a 3rd country - as unrealistic as it sounds, those dreams do help. We're in a dark place with no map, but we still make plans together. My husband and I are learning how to 'be married' which is impossible 4,000 miles away. We make do with what we can and remember this distance is only temporary. Should this wait extend too long and I will sell the house, get the cats micro-chipped and vaccinated and go to him.
I get angry every time I think about this process. We're all being punished for following the letter of the law. It's not right. I'm hopeful that my petition will get transferred this week, but I feel like I'm setting myself up to get punched in the gut.

Me and my kids haven't seen my husband in almost exactly one year. I'm so over this bullcrap.

You have to file married joint or separate and in case you qualify you can do head of household. Below is from FAQ from the NVC thread.
As the petitioner, what filing status do I use for my tax returns?

You have three options: married filing separately (MFS), married filing jointly (MFJ), or head of household (HOH).

For HOH, there's some criteria you need to meet to be able to use this. Please see the IRS website for more information. For most people though, it's either between MFS or MFJ.

Before I continue, I will say this once and only once: YOU CANNOT FILE SINGLE. If you are married, you are married. Doesn't matter where in the universe your spouse is, YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. You will be lying to the IRS if you file as single, and if caught, could cause serious issues. If you have already filed taxes, either this year or last, and were married, yet filed as single, amend your tax return ASAP. If at the time of the interview, there are tax return transcripts in the case file showing the petitioner filed as single, this can be a HUGE red flag. The CO will have to wonder why the petitioner filed as single when they're trying to get a spousal visa. In their eyes, your relationship can be seen as a fraud and could be reason for denial.

For both MFS and MFJ, the petitioner will have to file a paper tax return. Electronic submissions won't be possible the first year.

Filing MFS will probably be the easiest for most people as it doesn't require any extra documents from the foreign spouse, nor does it require their signature. On the tax return, where it asks for the spouse's SSN, you would put 'NRA' for Non-Resident Alien. Continue filling out the rest of the return as normal. That is all you have to do. (And if desired, once the spouse has immigrated to the US and has obtained a SSN, the petitioner can then amend their tax return to MFJ, to possibly get a bigger refund, but this isn't required.) Filing MFJ will typically mean a bigger refund up front, with no need to amend. This route takes a little more work though as the beneficiary will have to fill out a W7 (available on the IRS site), which requires a signature, and include document(s), so they can obtain a ITIN (it's like a SSN, but for the sole purpose of filing taxes, and is available for those not currently living in the US). This would then be included with the tax return, and sent to a special address for ITIN generation. For most countries, it may be hard to get the needed documents. (For Canada, it was uber easy, and this is how my husband did his taxes while I was still in Canada, waiting for my interview). Please view the instructions for the W7 form on the IRS website to see what documents will be needed. For more information, please read: http://www.irs.gov/I...nt-Alien-Spouse Good luck to you!!! Hope you get the approval real soon....

A Troubling Pattern
I have been on here for quite a while and have been following several posts from beneficiaries claiming abuse right after receiving either the conditional green card or 10 years green card. Without disputing the existence of genuine abuses, I am beginning to question how authentic some of these claims are. How is this for logic, that, 99.97% of the abuse occurs only after the green card – conditional or unconditional – was received? Assuming some of these abuses occurred prior to obtaining the green card but the beneficiaries remained silent until after the green card were received, isn’t this like a prior ‘intent-to-use-for-green card’ instead of marrying for real? To add to this troubling trend, most of those on conditional green card claiming abuse get on here to ask for how they can stay legally through VAWA, which indicates a prior knowledge of some sort. Even those who have no idea about VAWA, their first post are always centered on how they can remove the condition without the sponsoring partner. To the best of my knowledge, I have only seen one person claiming abuse who was asking for help to travel back to her home country.
I don’t have a problem with anyone who wants to live here if their marriage didn’t work, but if 99.999% claim abuse and instantly jump into fishing for a way to live here permanently without the petitioner; it provokes some considerable doubts as to how authentic some of these claims really are. Without blinking, and from the past experiences of some petitioners, most of these beneficiaries are married back home, use the petitioners to secure green card for themselves and any their children (if any), and hurriedly claim abuse just to get it done with the petition, since the goal is already achieved.
In my opinion, it seems the pursuit of green card has become a goal with its own rights. Most of these people feel justified to play with the emotions of their sponsors without attaching any significance to their interest. Even if they have to make a false claim and call the cops on them, as long as it will allow for them to ‘manipulate’ VAWA with these false claims to get their green card, they do without blinking. I am concerned about this pattern, and so should every citizen and non-citizens alike who have a healthy respect for properly constituted rules.
Something has to be done about this. If we’re quick to petition USCIS on unfair adjudication or delayed process, we must equally be fair to petition VAWA to look into cases of abuse with eagle eyes. If we don’t act, a few years down the road, just like the Zombie Apocalypse, we’ll be over-ran in this country by these self-serving lairs .

She doesn't need to go to the Philippines to escape abuse.
Just leave the house you share with him and then seek help. You should be fine.

please start using proper English and stop being rude.

After reading mza001's post about ARN change I assumed he would be approved pretty soon so I began checking my case status aswell but it never changed. I checked every 10 min.

Anyway I just checked again and I am now approved.
Ideally since I am at end of August that would mean everyone here should be approved, yet they are not. Don't give up peple and remember, even when you are approved stick around and fight for other people's rights in petitions and whatnot so future generations don't suffer what you did.
If anything don't forget if you are getting a CR1 you probably will have to deal with USCIS 2 years after you get your greencard or for renewal of greencard / citizenship.