radacos

Another couple things you can do are:

turn off the ringer when you go to sleep; tell your friends and family to call your cell phone in case of an emergency;

get a phone with caller ID and screen your calls; I never answer calls from 800 numbers or even from local numbers that I am not familiar with.

I left my (very few) mementos back home when I moved over here -- not on purpose, but simply because it didn't occur to me to bring them along. My husband has a box of letters and photos from former girlfriends that sits under our bed -- we've gone through some of it together. I think it's kinda neat that he's kept those mementos: they're a part of his life, and there's little use pretending that they didn't happen.

John yes, you've exercised your "American" right to run your self-righteous mouth. Now STFU.

OP--why are you standing by a man who knowingly destroyed your entire immigration process by smoking pot? I could not forgive this.

You comment that I am self righteous, but you comment on it as well? I agree with your comment, but maybe you too need not express yourself and STFU. Neither of them have any respect for the law or consequences for breaking it. Read her profile, she tells her daughter that she cant see her daddy because of the president and the immigration laws!!! Be real! Now she is asking for loop holes and blaming everything and everyone but her husband selfish behavior. To add to it all, he is here illegally, working under the table and not paying taxes!!! We want this in our country? Righteous? If thats what you want to call it.

DUde, she is not asking for loopholes! She wants to know what the *legal* steps are. I understand you feel strongly about drug use and illegal immigration, and you are absolutely entitled to. But surely you must also understand that she is frustrated because she cannot be with the one she loves. However you may feel about what you perceive as the "character" of her fiance, you are only likely to irritate and anger the OP by expressing you approval of the government process that is keeping them apart. And this only makes the OP disagree even more with your point of view -- which is poor rhetoric and probably not what you want.

Honor killing is cultural and has been very much part of Arab culture for thousands of years. There is no way to dismiss it, debunk it or mitigate it because it's disliked. Every culture has aspects that are particular to it, but are only whispered about. Honor killing in one of them in the MENA world.

Sex out of wedlock has been very much part of the culture of world, ever since people started walking upright. There is no way to dismiss it, debunk it or mitigate because it's disliked (by some).

Get a Creative device! I love my Zen V Plus. It's a lot cheaper, has a lot more features and a more intuitive user interface than a comparable iPod, *plus* it works with subscription music services, such as Yahoo Music Jukebox, Napster and Rhapsody. This means that, for about $15 a month, you can fill your player with an unlimited amount of music, as opposed to paying per song as with iTunes. I'm not sure about iPod becoming technologically obsolete, but I hope that, with so many companies entering the mp3 player market (including Microsoft, with Zune), people will start shifting away from Apple products that are overpriced, use proprietary formats and have poorer interfaces. Sorry, I just intensely dislike Apple!

Slim, as long as you have gotten married within 90 days of her entering the country, you are good to go. The expiration date on her K-1 only indicates the date by which she must enter the US. On the other hand, her K-1 status in only valid until the date stamped on her I-94. You can wait as long as you want before you file, but keep in mind the fact that, after her status expires, she won't be eligible for benefits such as work and travel. She won't be deported, and it will likely not make a difference for your AOS, but she will be in limbo. Should she need to leave the country before she gets her GC, depending on the length of time she was out of status, she might trigger a re-entry ban (and AP is not a guarantee against this). Personally, I would strive to file before her status expires (or, at least, no more than a few days after) -- but if it makes more sense for you guys to wait until March, you will probably be OK doing that.

Here are some ideas -- some may have already been mentioned:

Cook with olive oil instead of butter. A touch of butter on toast or in pasta is ok, but you do not need it for sauteeing, broiling or baking. Extra virgin olive oil is actually incredibly tasty! Also, yes, stay away from deep frying anything.

Buy lean cuts of meat or fish, and serve them with brown rice, vegetables and salads. One "diet" trick here is to eat salads and veggies before the main course, which will help you feel full quicker. A note on the salads: use store-bought dressings with extreme caution. Even the low-fat ones can cause damage, since they contain lots of sugar. Drizzle your salad with olive oil, rice vinegar and soy sauce for a tasty dressing.

If you get a craving for sweets, a few squares of chocolate (the darker, the better) are much better than cookies or cakes. If you want ice cream, try frozen fruit instead.

Eat pieces of fruit instead of drinking fruit juice. When you are thirsty, drink water instead of soda or juice. Drink plenty of water every day!

Good luck!

I say go for it!

If its companionship and just the "interaction" with a female that you're seeking.... do it. It may complicate things, but the one thing that it will do to is keep you "in practice" for when you have a woman around again. We, as guys, get out of practice when we're not in the presence of a lady. We make ####### and fart jokes, we leave the toilet seat up, we let our personal hygiene slide back a little bit. A lady cleans that up nicely!

You can draw the lines where you want as far as "cheating" goes, but me personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. You're a man, you're supposed to be with a woman. If you're not with the one you love, another can (and will) fill in for her temporarily.

Many people will debate the ethics of this, and I'm not going to do that. The mere fact that you've posted this relates to me that you've considered it and are just wondering if it's "OK" to do it. Perhaps you really want to, but just need a little "permission" that it's OK. If that's what you're looking for, you've got my blessing all day, but the only person with an oppinion that matters on this topic is your fiancee. I'd say bring it up with her, and just test the waters a little. Tell her how you're feeling, chances are she's feeling the same way too. And even if she's the jealous type, she'd probably rather you go out with a girl and tell her about it than sneak around behind her back, only to find out about it later.

Who knows, if you're lucky, it may even turn her on a little bit!

Good luck, and just remember, you're only feeling what you're (biologically speaking) supposed to be feeling. Those that say "you should only want your fiancee" are not referring to the natural happenings inside their body (or they're much better at "channelling" these feelings into an "imagined" state) they're just going by what they ethically believe is right or wrong. Do what YOU (and your fiancee) want to do. She may even appreciate the fact that you'll stay "in practice" for her.

May surprise some, but I'm in agreeance with much of what you are saying slim only the other knowing about it, in most cases just doesn't work lol The green eyed monster always rears its head. I can understand that side of things too. I have always had a huge interest in sexuality and human nature. Moral standings often cloud ones view. Being in love has little to do with one remaining faithful, hence why the ladies of the night in particular have always had a booming business. Men in many cases (and I stress not all), have a distinctive primal need. Plenty of evidence out there that proves this. Love and sex whilst intertwined are also seperate needs. Making love and sex/sex acts are two seperate animals. If one isnt' getting it from home, you can bet a surprising % are getting it from somewhere, including self help.

Did I remain faithful, you betcha. Would I have understood if hubby didn't, I can honestly say yes.

Would like to add as per the OP's title. Big difference when the heart wanders as opposed to the body.

I deffo agree with the bit in red.

Aussie, out of curiosity, would your hubby have understood if you physically did not remain faithful?

No

Agree with Aussie and Slim. The only addition I'd like to make is that I abide by honesty being the best policy. We were apart for 6 months (not for immigration reasons), during which time we both "strayed" once, with each other's full knowledge. I am a pretty jealous person, but the thing that I'm afraid of is not my husband getting it on with another woman, but his seeking another woman as an emotional companion, somebody that could, on some level, replace me. Once he reminded me (and I reminded myself) that I was his companion of choice, his tryst ceased to bother me. Even though he is a little less insecure than I am, I think the same goes for my husband.

That being said, talking or even thinking about infidelity is very, very painful for most of us. But not talking about it is not going to make it go away. My advice to the OP (and anyone else) would be to talk about rules with their partner. I think that a lot of people would be surprised to find that their partners are a lot more understanding of "needs" than they might expect. But if you don't talk about it and sneak behind your partner's back, or if you break the rules you've agreed to, it will most likely come around and bite you in the ###!

Slim, hope you don't let a few poolies spoil your efforts here.

What's "poolies"?

meauxna isn't there a forum for people from Greece or the U.K. ? I dont know if you noticed but this is a Russian forum. Not that I dont mind opinions from others but others with experience in Russian terms would be better. Or maybe you can be the innovator to the "Greek" forum. Good luck on your ventures.

P.S. Still no timeline huh. Again your so instrumental to us all here at VJ

Well, since you have been so kind to point out the absence of meauxna's timeline, and her lack of proficiency in Russian terms, let me just say that I am happy your fiance is "cool, calm and *collective*".

you're all going to hades and it's a zionist plot to discredit you in allah's eyes. you should at least sue the company

Actually I don't think any of our Muslim employees ate it since they only eat Vegetarian unless we have Halal meat. Its the Jewish employees I am most worried about.

JP, I wouldn't worry about it. In Judaism, non-kosher beef is not any better than pork (and I assume the catering company does not use kosher meats). So if the Jewish employees were lax enough about their observance of Kashrut to eat what they thought was non-kosher beef, I don't think they would be too freaked out to find out it was actually pork (or at least they shouldn't be, from a legal point of view).

I am sorry, Janice! The Seattle facility is very, very disorganized, and things take a lot of time. The appointment times do not matter for biometrics -- you can show up as early as you want, and they take people in the order of arrival. Since you made the next appt. for 8 AM, you should probably be alright, but it won't hurt to get there as early as you can. Good luck, hope next time is better!

Who suggested the lynching? I missed that...

Yep, Romania continues to be quite backwards in certain respects... quite backwards...

Just because I am obsessive-compulsive, I need to ask. What would happen if I lost my GC while traveling abroad (I don't have a passport stamp)? Can US consulates abroad give out the I-551 stamp? Would I be able to re-enter just based on the fact that the USCIS has records based of me being an LPR?

My spouse and I will be traveling to Turkey, Israel and Romania for 4 weeks this summer. Since the trip will involve a lot of getting on and off airplanes, I am concerned that, being a klutz and an occasional airhead, I might misplace my identification...

Thanks for indulging me, folks!

My example is probably not typical of the new immigrant, since I have a degree from a US university... First job, on campus, $9.10/hr. Current job, preschool teacher, $12/hr, which will probably increase to the mid-to-high 20s once it becomes a full-time, salaried position.

Any updates on this, Jeff? Hope the mess got sorted out!

Anca, as other VJers have been telling you, you should have checked box a) on both I-130 and I-485 -- you are eligible to adjust status on the basis of a petition that, if approved, will make an immigrant visa number immediately available to you. What I suggest you do is check the correct box and re-send your application (I-485 and I-130 will all supporting documents in the same package).

Also, I think it would be easier for everyone to follow your story if you don't keep opening new posts -- please keep your questions to one single thread, and people will be better able to help you.

Good luck! Don't hesitate to PM me if you have further questions (in Romanian).

Anca, you are adjusting status based on marriage (it doesn't matter what your status was before). USCIS kept your I-485 and the other forms accompanying it, and returned the I-130, right? Then you should check box a) on the I-130 and send it in again, with the appropriate fee. You are not in trouble, don't worry. If you want, you can also send them a letter explaining that you are eligible to AOS based on marriage to a US citizen (once again, the J visa does not matter), and that you have already sent in the I-485.

Good luck!

Well, I have been in school for the past 3 years, so he really has been supporting me fully for that long. We have a joint checking account and credit card, I have my own checking account and a credit card, and he has a couple of savings accounts that are his. Over the past year I have been working, although earning a small fraction of what he makes. My paychecks go to my account, which I use to pay off my credit card (I wanted my own CC so I could establish credit). But, I use my credit card mostly to grocery shop, so that counts as common expenses anyway. Things are going to get a trickier in 6 months, when I have to start paying off my student loans. We've talked about it, and decided that most of my paycheck will go towards that -- since *I* incurred the loan, and it's a significant amount, I would feel kind of bad asking him to chip in. Of course, given the huge disparity in our incomes, he will still be, de facto, supporting my living expenses.

Sigh... I guess I am just a kept woman. I rationalize this by pledging to support him whenever he decides to go back to school or embark on a marginally profitable occupation.

I responded on the other thread, but thought I'd do the same here. I had my medical exam done by Dr. O'Keefe, and the passport number was not included in the paperwork. I was fine! He really is a nice man -- I'm disappointed to hear that he'll be closing shop.

I had my I-693A filled out without the passport number, and didn't have a problem! Don't worry guys, you'll be fine!

And also, one good way to obtain references is to volunteer. Volunteer positions are easy to obtain and, in exchange for a couple hours a week, you will meet people who can put in a good word for you. Volunteer supervisors also tend to be fairly complimentary, because you are, after all, volunteering your time and energy to work for them.

Brother Dean, where did you find this info? Am muchly interested...

Fantastic! Congratulations! I also got a job in Seattle this week, as a preschool teacher, so I know how you feel! Enjoy the new start!

But this issue is mooted by the passage, under the Clinton Administration of the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity and Reconciliation Act (PRWORA), which makes legal permanent residents ineligible for most forms of welfare for 5 years. I support this kind of legislation.

That was because people were moving mom and dad and grandma and grandpa here and signing them up for SSI benefits as soon as they got here.

This is tied to the reason why the liberatarian party has an open-borders policy in its doctrine (or at least did last I checked). They are not afraid of immigrants sucking up welfare on their plan because there wouldn't be any welfare system to suck up for anyone.

Yup, that is correct. And a great idea as far as I'm concerned, even though not entirely practical in the short run.