davenjanet

My wife is eligible for citizenship March 2017, meaning we will file in December 2016. We are planning to sell our home, listing it in May 2017; May-June are traditionally the best months here.

Now if the house sells and closes quickly we could have a situation where she is still in the middle of the process or waiting for an interview. If it takes a few months hopefully the process will be over. That said we have a timetable and a need to sell and would prefer not waiting to list the house.

I have a couple ideas. One - if the house sells quickly, ask the new owners if we can continue to get our mail for a few months. Two of course is if the house sells quickly, to use a friends addy for our new address, but I don't want an address change to screw up my wife's process.

I could also change our address before we file, but since we own our home I don't know whether that's a good idea.

Any suggestions or am I concerned for nothing?

She will not be interviewed any time sooner than March 2017 (3 years since she became Greencard holder)

So let assume she is interviewed on March 2017, plus 1-2 months for oath ceremony, she will be officially US citenzen around May-Jun 2017 the earliest in my opion. July-August 2017 seems more realistic to me.

Thanks for this. The reason for my question is I intend to retire and we will relocate to the Philippines.

What might happen (if anything) if we sold our house and began the relocation process prior to March 2017 or prior to the July-August estimate? I know that you can't be gone longer than 6 months within the three year residency. i am just trying to determine whether selling our house or beginning the move will foul up her process.

Thanks!

My wife got her green card in March 2014, so I know that 90 days before March 2017 she will be eligible to apply for citizenship (after we get the 10 year GC the previous year). I am trying to figure out a timetable. If she applies the 90 days before, when is it reasonable for her to actually obtain the citizenship?

Well, I wasn't at the interview.

So, you say you were grilled, and you got a RFE.

If everything was fine, then I would guess the IO would have said "I will approve you once I get this one thing."

I get the impression it was a bad interview plus an RFE.

But, you didn't describe in detail what happened, so it's hard to know.

But yes, it is possible to have delayed approval after an interview; they can do second interviews, home checks, or just other internal checks.

I wouldn't worry too much though, as you got a K-1 you were already somewhat vetted, and most people get approved in the end. Good luck.

Frankly I don't know if it was an RFE or not. I know what receiving an RFE is in context of a Visa. But in this case she said she wanted the real divorce decree handed me a sheet with the address of where to mail it (the address of where we had the interview) and said she didn't need anything else.

I don't know what constitutes a "bad" Interview. She did question our age difference. I was frank in my responses but certainly respectful. She asked how my kids were taking it and I responsed that my 14 year old daughter had some concerns but she and Janet shopping at the mall seem to be helping She liked that.

She made photo copies of the other evidence we brought (bank account, utilities, etc.) told us there was nothing more she needed and that was it.

I wouldn't call for 6 months. If RFE is sufficient, then you'll be approved sooner. But it could lead to AP or a second interview. So... I would wait.

6 Months! I had no idea. What else could they be investigating, if anything?

The document they asked for was mostly a formality. I had a state-issued divorce decree from my marriage which ended in divorce over 20 years ago, but I didn't have the complete court-decree. Getting it from a small, rural county took some doing. I just assumed the asked just for formality-sake.

My wife had her interview about a month ago. The interviewer was a bit tough on us due to the "age gap". Nonetheless she only asked for one document. I asked her did she need anything else or have any other questions and she said no.

It took me a couple weeks to get the document and I sent it registered mail (to ensure that I had a record that it was received). That was a couple weeks ago. In the online tool it still shows us as at the interview stage.

So my question is - how long should we wait before trying to follow up and who do we call to follow up?

We have filled out all the forms for our AOS but now I am confused about the I-693. My now wife (she was a K-1) got her vaccinations at St. Lukes in Manila and we have that transcript.

My question is, are we required to see a Civil Surgeon to fill out the I-693 form or just send in the transcript? If we have to see the doctor do we have to do that before filing the AOS packet?

As far as I remember, they will return your passport if you are denied or lacking something .

If the releasing officer said so, you better ask him/her what to do next , whether the Foreigner Consul needs more proof and /or set another appointment with him.

Please check Hank ....

No Dress code required but you must wear the appropriate attire

and prove to them that you are worth for their approval.

I would agree. If a prospective mate starts asking for money that is a sign. Usually bad. I had smany girls on line prior to meeting my one true love that asked for money on the first or second chat. Guess what I did with those contacts??? I deleted them and blocked them. And BEWARE of the my baby, grandma, granpa, uncle, mom, dad, aunty, cousin, sister, brother.....is in the hospital. This is a commonly used ploy. It seems this scenario has been passed from one generation to the next. In my case I visited my girl before I ever sent her any money. She never asked me for money, even after my first visit. Believe it or not there is a web site that Filipinos often use. It is a site where you can learn lies and stories that work. You can cut and paste one lie after another. You can make up a whole person that does not exist. I am not saying that the Filipino girls are the only nationality that have a site like this. I am sure they are available in many countries and languages. Sad really. I am serious, I have seen the site...I will not mention it here because as far as I am concerned it is evil. I mean people share their stories and excuses like it is a joke. It's really horrible.

Aloha Ke Akua

While I certainly agree that this is a sad and bad situation and I feel sorry for the OP, let's not confuse girls you might chat with a time or two and ask for money vs. a fiancée you are about to marry. Many guys I know who were in the k1 process sent their fiancée some sort of allowance. Of course if the girl said she needed 20k/month for food that would be a red flag. But a guy who wants to help the woman he is about to marry isn't itself a red flag.

O course in this case a scam seems likely.

Not to be too indiscrete but when it comes to marriage and love, people are ultimately thinking about one thing - sex. If you said that your best most trusted friend was from the Philippines, no one would care one bit; in fact they would probably applaud you. It is that you are sleeping with someone from a different culture.

I am older and Jewish. When I was young the worst thing I could do was marry a non-Jew. Mixed marriages meant a jew and a Christian. Few people considered inter-racial relationships.

So what did I do? I married an African-American! When people asked if my family had objections about her I said, "They don't care about her color. But the fact that she isn't Jewish..." lol!

So at some point people started accepting marriages between different religions. Then they focused their judgment on inter-racial marriages. Then that became more accepted so they re-focused their judgment on same sex relationships. Today even those are being accepted.

Today, no one has given me a hard time because Janet is from a different culture/country. OTOH many people have commented on our age difference. That has become a subject of judgment for some people in our culture. Honestly, the reasons they give me are so similar to the reasons people "worried" about my first marriage to that African-American woman almost 30 years ago.

I guess my point is that some people are compelled to judge others when it comes to sex. They give a lot of excuses (green card fraud, what will you have in common, etc.) But in the end they just don't want to imagine you sleeping with each other, which is fine with me; I don't want them thinking of it either - they might get jealous!

Of course as everyone has said, enjoy your life, enjoy your love. All relationships involve risk. Take the risk and love every second of it!

A pre-nup does not necessarily override the divorce laws in your state. Therefore you may still owe alimony to an ex-spouse or child support if there were children in the marriage.

It's a tough call for both the man and the woman but in some cases there are legitimate reasons to do it.

So my fiance will be having her embassy interview next week. I guess she has the option of having the visa delivered to Tacloban where she lives for pick-up, or have it delivered to MOA in Mania.

I'm sure there is some variation, but what would be the difference in days to be delivered to Tacloban vs 2go at MOA? I'm thinking if it is going to be significantly longer to get to Tacloban, then it might be better to have it delivered to MOA, and she can pick it up a couple of days before her flight to the US.

Based on an experience we just had today, there is one thing to consider.

Janet decided to have the visa and passport delivered to 2go at Ayala Mall in Cebu instead of her provincial home for speed purposes. I had been checking on the 2go site for a week and no update. But a couple days ago she received a text saying the visa was ready for pick up. Yet still on the website it did not show it as delivered.

She called 2go in Cebu and sure enough it was there! However, they told her if she did not pick it up by the 4th it would be returned! That means they were only going to keep it for 5 or 6 days before returning it to Manila. She was intending to go to Cebu on Tues. the 6th but they would not keep it. So she has to go to Cebu tomorrow (3rd), return home and go back on the 6th to meet me.

All things considered I am not sure the 2go service ended up being more convenient

But of course the main thing is that she will have her Visa and we will be ready to go.

Good luck to you!

Well this thread was an interesting read. That is until the R&P crowd came in and derailed it shortly after the feminazis brought them over.

Back to topic, the post by Juliet and Steve was spot on for many who come here, although, from a personal experience, some of these points were hit (we find each other extremely physically attractive for the reasons he listed) and some miss (I'm not interested in gaining her submission in the pre-60's traditional sense, nor is she poor or cannot work) in regards to my fiance and I.

We just ran across each other in a public forum similar to this one and started talking, found each other attractive and compatible, fell in love, and it went from there. Same story as any geniune relationship really. It just so happens the inconvenience of being in different countries at the moment. Signs that she or I was interested for other reasons would have manifested themselves long ago, and simply haven't.

As far as the stereotypical reasons, our age difference is only 13 years and she is over 30. What's more, she has asked me to move there, and we compromised (that we would retire to there in 20 years).

I agree that Steve's posting was the highlight of the thread and got derailed.

As he said that "S" word is a hot button for many people: women who do not want to consider themselves to be submissive; and men who do not want to consider themselves to be unenlightened neanderthals. Steve substituted the word "feminine" but even that raises the blood pressure for many. I think the words get in the way of a basically valid concept. I was around back in that "traditional" era and there was certainly not one size fits all; not every man was Ward Cleaver; not every woman June Cleaver. But I will say that men and women accepted that they were fundamentally different and were OK (and even reveled in) the difference. Whether that made the men more dominant and the women more submissive I don't know, but there was a more distinct difference, which IMO works better than what we have in the West today. Attraction is created by difference and that difference between men and women can be observed strongly in RP.

I was at a party recently with about 25 Fil-Am couples. As many such parties go, the men and women separated; the guys drank, ate, and shot the breeze; the women laughed, sang karaoke and periodically checked up on their men. The feminine energy generated by the Filipinas was compelling. Whether that's caused by attitude, upbringing, lack of feminism, or just a strong excess of estrogen, it was exactly what I love about Filipinas.

1) Economics. This is a multi-pronged subject. Filipinas have a cultural mandate to be a bastion of support for the family. A woman over the age of 25-30 in RP (Philippines) is considered "old" related to finding/keeping a job. This blatant age discrimination in RP affects men too, but perhaps not to the same extent. Even for Filipinas under the age of 25 job opportunities are rare. Thus the mandate to be able to support the family is difficult. Foreign lands offer less age discrimination. Foreign men, especially those who can travel to RP offer economic support. These men are also likely to be able to keep their career intact with no or little age discrimination.

2) At the risk of drawing the ire of some, Filipino males have an undesirable (broadly speaking--of course there are exceptions) set of mores. Mores are cultural/moral values. The machismo attitude runs deep in RP culture. It likely comes from RP's Spanish heritage. It is common for males to woo young females, impregnate them, and then dump them as now being worthless. Philippine men cheat. Again, though there are exceptions, the cultural mores come into play. A male who has the resources to me married and have children and who decides to maintain a second household with a kabit (mistress) is not looked down upon. Though not openly admired, most even within the family will tolerate this, and some will even clandestinely admire the male. Filipina's on the other hand rarely cheat. The book "Lust in Translation" tells that only Tibet and Ghana has women with this level of fidelity. We can ignore Ghana as a male who finds his wife cheating might kill her--a good reason to be faithful. This leaves RP's women very desirable in the eyes of many Westerners who find the mores of Western women with their "Sex in the City" attitude and their lack of fidelity undesirable.

3) Filipinas want white! It is utterly ironic that most Western women admire and try to emulate through tanning the skin color of many Filipinas. Western men enjoy women who are not pasty white--we like all shades of Filipina. Filipinas want their babies to be white and they are smart enough to know how to attain this.

4) Many Americans are culturally adaptable and most are polite and considerate (and indeed, there are exceptions). This runs in opposition to other nationalities such as the Koreans and Chinese. I apologize to those of Korean and Chinese heritage who might be here and realize again, there are exceptions--but having traveled a bit the Koreans and Chinese unless you are friends with one seem by and large simply rude and inconsiderate.

5) Filipinas crave stability. Young men, worldwide do not offer the type of stability--but older men do. (same 'ol caveat--a generalization) Filipinas are age-difference tolerant. In 1972 I remember reading an article that said that the average American woman desired a male partner 2-10 years older than them. Today if that article would be re-written the statistics would likely indicate that American women now want male partners 2-10 years younger than them. This creates a situation where RP offers what American men want, and had until the feminist movement changed things. I, at my age, am, generally speaking, not what American women want and they, especially from their attitudes/morels/mores are not what I want. And I, at my age, value a woman who wants a lifetime relationship and have found one.

6) As others have pointed out: America is a melting pot. Everyone can fit in. America has its share of problems these days, but it's still a wonderful country to move to.

7) American men want sumbissive women. Oops...who wrote that--not me, where is the erase button.

Indeed, this is a loaded subject and all too often misunderstood. To some "submissive" means that a Filipina might become a sort of slave, or second class citizen, kept barefoot and penniless down on the farm and be subjected to the sexual whims of the dominant male. Yet I believe that though this concept might exist--it is rather rare, and really not what most American men desire.

I prefer to remove the word "submissive," and as another poster here has done--interject the word "feminine."

Back in the '60's most women in America stayed home and raised kids while the husband worked. The husband made the decisions. This is far from the case today, in America most women work--indeed most have to work--such is the economics of today. But what it's really about is that the women of the sixties at least seemed happy to have a nice home, a loving husband and happy children. Women of today in America, at least to me, all too many have become "independent," or rather beyond independent. They don't need a husband--in fact millions are better off with no husband to worry about. America's nanny state gives a single mom quite a lot. Subsidized or free housing; free medical; free education (college) and oftentimes even assist the single mom in buying a car. In my opinion America's changed to where marriage is a negative thing and as girls become women in their fatherless environment--the need for keeping a husband around has taken on less importance. For me the close family values that the Philippines espouse is a treasure. That a Filipina is more likely to be happy with the basic necessities of life is a refreshing alternative to the last two American women who I dated about 5 years ago. Both, after a nice dinner, as I walked them to their car said exactly the same thing: Smiling each said: "Oh, which is your car?" I responded: "the older blue Honda Accord." Both reacted the same--there appeared an odd look on their face that might have had a bit of disgust in it. Neither asked: "Why do you drive such an old car?" (Note: It looks nice to me and runs quite nicely, but it is 11 years old) Had either asked, my answer would have been: "I don't place much status value on having to have a new car--I'd rather not have $400 a month car payments (or $800 a month with two cars) and I prefer to pay off the mortgage on my house or use the money for investing. Though I had a nice time with both of them--neither responded to further calls or emails. Sadly--if you don't have a new car in America, a large percentage of women will write you off. It's a terrible thing too as so many men become so stretched out on debt to maintain the supposed status of the new car and big "dollhouse," (a big fancy house) that eventually it is this very economic loop of debt that destroys their lives and their relationships. Filipinas tend not to be particularly materialistic. They seem to be happy with a nice house and a car that runs. I like that.

8) Filipinas don't smoke and don't like smoking. This is not the case of way too many American women.

9) We American males are astounded at how beautiful all the Filipinas are.

I began to read this and though, "uh oh - here we go again. Another list of fool stereotypes." But in fact, as others said, you hit most of the high points very well.

Of course you did miss out on the fact that we kanos all have beautiful long noses

Janet had her interview just a few days ago, July 23rd.

Today the status on CEAC changed to Issued! So that changed in only 3 days.

But on the Traveldocs site it says "Your passport is still with post" What does this mean?

And of course the 2Go site says the number in invalid, which I assume means they haven't picked it up yet.

My fiancée was there at 3am and didn't get 1 day medical. She was told they do one day medical if your interview is very close.

Janet's interview was 8 days later (happening right now in fact). So it was not very close.

Perhaps this whole thing is based on being early and random luck.

An update: Janet met with the CFO woman again on Monday. We had practiced several times and I think she went in much more confident. She also read the comments on this thread.

The CFO woman is a psychologist and did not exactly back off. From what I was told she once again grilled Janet pretty well, asking the same questions again and again. But in the end they had a good conversation and Janet was approved!

Clearly the woman's biggest concern was whether I am a bad guy and that Janet needed to know what to do just in case that turns out to be the case.

Thanks to everyone for their input. Now on to the embassy interview!

I'm getting a kick out of this because my wife was just describing the large age differences at the required govt counseling classes today. "20 marrying a 64, Ugh!!!" is an exact quote.

What ever happened to Age / 2 + 7? I can understand Filipina liking an older, mature man but we're quickly approaching creepy levels when a guy targets only women in their 20's on internet dating or matchmaking sites. When I look at a couple and assume they're a grandfather and granddaughter going for a walk until there's a really awkward kiss I get a shiver up my spine.

70 and 20? From a government perspective sure, knock yourself out. From a "what were you thinking!?" perspective,.. You've got a 2 generation gap in addition to a cultural one. Going to go to a concert together? What about rock-climbing?

"My soul-mate was an 18 year old super model!" seems like you're looking for all the wrong things and perpetuates a negative stereotype. We're built to fall in love and many relationships can be real but I have to worry about any woman looking for an extremely elderly man.

I'm curious about the 50+ year old guys. I'm pretty sure some have children from a previous relationship. Would you be ok with your 20 year old daughter marrying a retired 60 year old?

The guy doing the whole daughter/wife thing? I don't even know where to start there..

As you can see from the comments, there are many relationships here where there is an age gap. I know many such people and they have happy marriages/relationships. OTOH I know many American marriages with a more "appropriate" age gap that are miserable and end in divorce.

When it comes to marriage and sex some people will judge based on differences in age, nationality, race, religion, politics, economic status, etc. The wise man and woman follow their hearts not whether some stranger says "ugh".

If you think it's creepy, then by all means don't do it.

As to differing musical tastes, the only issue my fiancé and I have,is not the generational gap, but the fact that I suck at karaoke.

As to rock climbing, my fiancé's never done it. Guess she'll have to learn to keep up

The letter may be dismissed by the CFO. What they want now is to see your fiance stand up for herself because if she can't stand up for herself to them she is not likely to stand up to you. Unlike the US Embassy (which is working on the assumption that your fiance is possibly attempting to use fraud to enter the US illegally and wants evidence to the contrary) the CFO is working on the assumption that you have brainwashed, coerced, or bribed a young woman into relationship that is not in her best interest and wants to see evidence to prove their viewpoint wrong.

The reason for the sudden spike in issues at the CFO has been reportedly because of a few higher profile cases that have caused trouble for the CFO for allowing women to leave the Philippines that have turned into human trafficking and spousal abuse nightmares. The CFO now wants to make sure that every possible chance is made to dissuade emigration if there is any possibility that there could be a potential problem for them in the future.

I agree that they want to hear her confidence. But I feel helpless and thought a note from me might help to show who I am (not a human trafficker, for example). But I certainly want to know what others think. If my letter is inappropriate I dont what her to use it.

Here is the letter I wrote to CFO:

Just curious - was she asked for the chat logs, or did she did she offer it to the Counselor?

I think she was asked for them and the woman said she would read them later; she also gave them pictures and phone records. I think Janet was stunned and intimidated, which is not her usual nature. I think she said the right things but was shy and unconfident in doing so.

From what I could gather the woman brought up age gap and whether Janet's family supports our marriage (which they do). I am trying to re-build Janet's confidence, since she meets the woman again on Monday and has her interview on Tuesday.

If it were me I would be a bit angry, and consider it my right to fall in love with and marry whomever I wish. I told Janet that I would look at such comments as insulting. But Janet is a Filipina, not a direct American. She needs to speak up confidently and I hope I can encourage her to do so.

Since she is meeting with the woman again Monday, I am considering sending a note to the woman from me. What do you guys think of that?

I am a little confused, CFO does not have consuls. Sounds like her interview at the Embassy more than CFO

Nope, she just got the terms confused.

The woman who interviewed her definitely intimidated her, took all the chat logs which she said she would read. They will meet again Monday.

I just encouraged Janet to act confident about our relationship.

If she is failed and has to do the CFO again, will they have records to indicate she already failed once?

Janet went to do her CFO in Manila yesterday. She had chat records and emails from 2012 and 2013 but the consul asked for records from 2011. We met online about November 1st 2011 and were not in a relationship till 2012 so there was no reason to keep chat logs. Nonetheless I did manage to find her original friend request of me from Cherry Blossoms and a couple other notes she sent me via the Cherry Blossoms system.

She says that in general the guy was very hard on her, particularly over the age gap issue.

Why would they care about chat logs from the time we first chatted and is there anything else I can do about it?

Janet had me wake her up at 3:00AM to get to St. Lukes bright and early. Even then she was only number 12 in line. She whipped through the procedures and they let her leave for lunch, telling her to return at 1:30. We talked over lunch and it sounded like she had done almost everything and she said they told her she might have her vaccinations after lunch. "No way," I told her. "That is day two." Sure enough when we talked after the day was over, she returned, had her vaccinations, got her CD and was all done.

Is the one day medical common, a new procedure, or did they take one look at Janet and decide "this girl looks healthy - push her through?"