cassecouilles

You're merely stating what you know to be true, that could never offend me :-) That was very helpful, thank you.

Hello folks,
I've been following some threads on this website about the beneficiaries adjusting to the states. Honestly? I'm a bit scared :-) I keep reading because I tell myself I want to know what to expect, I don't want to be blindsided by these feelings when my son and I finally make the move, plus I've read some very interesting and useful advice about staying busy while waiting for that first job. But it is a tad disheartening and sometimes I almost dread leaving all that's familiar behind. I'm sure not everyone had such a hard time adjusting, right? What are some really positive experiences you had? Things you absolutely LOVE about your new life in the US? Maybe even funny anecdotes from your adjustment? I don't know about you guys, but I would love hearing about those as well :-)

I am the beneficiary and I worry about my move to the States. I have a good job here in Belgium, most of my family and friends live here and there is no other place in this world where I would rather live. But, then there's Rudy and I love him to death and it just makes more sense to live in the States since he has a house there and once he gets done with his deployment he wants to graduate. He hasn't lived in the states for the last 6 years that he's been in the military and he's so excited about finally living in his own house and us becoming a family there that I would never do anything to take that away from him.
Part of the reason I worry is because we have an 8 month old little boy. I know my family is going to have a very hard time with us leaving. I am going to miss being able to call my mom and ask her advice or just because, or even to just hop in the car and go visit her or my best friend.
I will miss all the familiar things,"real" bread, "good" cheese, all the products (food, shampoo, medication, etc.) that I am used to using for our baby. Aside from my fiance and his family, I won't KNOW anyone. I won't have a job and will have to start from zero for everything. No matter how much you love your partner, that stuff is scary.
I've tried telling him this because I believe it's important to be honest at all times. He needs to know these worries I have so he won't be surprised when I'm sad or lonely once I've been in the states for a bit. He needs to understand that it's not about him and that I don't love him any less but that it's an inevitable process that I'll have to go through. The first time I did tell him thishe actually got defensive: "what, you don't want to come anymore?" Now he's done some research and told me there's a pretty big Belgian and spanish community in Detroit, that we'd stock up on Belgian chocolate and beer and that we'll visit Belgium at least once a year and have my family come over as often as I want :-)
Communication, patience, love and understanding. I think those are the 4 things that'll help you through the move.