verysadguy

March 28, 2013

Take a record of everything that proves he's been fraudulent. Copy it and send it to the USCIS and ICE. Be proactive about this! If you want you can wait until the 2 year mark and present it at an interview but why put yourself through that. You can divorce on fraud. When you divorce you claim FRAUD as the reason for the divorce. I highly doubt the USCIS is going to grant him a 10 year green card when he's been divorced because of fraud. He obviously did NOT enter your marriage in good faith. Get everything you need to prove that.

I did all that and nothing helped. He'll just claim VAWA. ICE hung up the phone without taking my name or her name. USCIS never acknowledged any of my letters.

March 18, 2013

Are these home visits to homes in the United states or abroad? and does your spouse live with you or not?

Our case is sitting at USCIS for the second time. I am in the United States and he is still in India. Is it possible they would visit my home in the US, or his in India, at any point?

I highly doubt anyone from USCIS or even a local consulate would make a home visit abroad. These must be in the USA for immigration fraud evaluations.

If you get a "visit" abroad, it wouldn't be a visit but more likely a counterterrorism interdiction. And those folks would be even less friendly!

March 16, 2013

Yes, home visits can happen in some states.

What red flags does your case have?

Homeland Security Investigations made a home visit in my case too because my wife falsely accused me of human trafficking. She lied to her Catholic non-profit and they contacted ICE who sent the investigators.

What they found was a very nice home with a very happy baby and they dropped the human trafficking charges.

I think the other red flags in my case were the age difference and the false claims of abuse.

If you have evidence of a bona fide relationship and a good faith marriage that should be fine. I continue to be mystified by the inconsistency of investigation and search for evidence by USCIS.

March 14, 2013

Buddy first of all I am sorry. Second of all, I will tell you something you will NOT believe - you are actually lucky for a number of reasons, hard as it is to believe. # 1) There are many women who are much smarter than your ex because they would have made false allegations to the Police, not just to the CIS or a non profit, to substantiate their VAWA self petition better and the cops would have come and arrested you on her say so. The fact that you didn't go through that is a MAJOR plus for you. Believe me, it happens every day. Secondly, you have custody of your child... as a father... in America. Another big plus.

So now for the bad news. I know you want to get back at this woman for using you. Unfortunately, no one in our immigration system cares enough not to let this woman in, and the law is written to help her not you. Even if they put her in removal proceedings, she will just tell her weepy false story about what a monster you are to the Immigration Judge, who may or may not believe it, and even if the judge doesn't, it will be YEARS before she is removed. Chances are she will find another guy to marry her in the meantime and she will try to stay on the ground that your child, who is a US citizen, needs his mom and she should not be removed. As you have discovered, the system is designed to help her against all real and fictitious abusers and not you from being slandered as a wife beater or to be taken advantage of.

If I were you, and then again I am not so you have to choose for yourself, but I would do two things. I would let this go because you need to be a single dad which is challenging enough and you need to press the reset button on all this baggage this sociopath of a woman has caused you. She clearly never loved you and I am sure she was telling the other guy God knows what, maybe that your baby is his, or that she will sponsor him as soon as she has US citizenship, that she is suffering you just so they can be together in America. And chances are 100% of that was BS. If you are not a sociopath, you can't beat her at her own game, and you will go insane trying. Secondly, if you are the custodial parent, I would hit her with a child support order. It's good for your kid, and it is a measure of revenge. if she falls behind on payments and the CIS or the IJ actually look into this case, it will go some way to show that she is not the poor little abused victim if you have custody of the child and she is not living up to her parental responsibility. But beyond that, I would let it go. You should thank God, your lucky stars, or whatever Supreme Being you believe in, that you were taught a lesson to be more skeptical of people's motives without seeing the inside of a jail cell (I can't emphasize how real of a possibility this was for you, especially given her complete lack of a moral center. Good thing for you she is not smarter), that your child is with you, and that you can live life without her. Worrying ever day if your wife is sending naked pictures to some other guy on a daily basis is not the kind of emotional abuse anyone deserves to live under. I hope this helps.

I like your thinking! :bonk:

I am trying to find my emotional center these days.

Lack of sleep isn't good, but hugging and kissing that baby everyday is sweetness like you cannot imagine.

March 13, 2013

Found this recently while researching my case:

What are the criminal consequences of sham or fraudulent marriage? Under the United States Code any individual who knowingly enters into a marriage for the purpose of evading any provision of the immigration laws shall be imprisoned for not more than 5 years, or fined not more than $250,000, or both. It is also a crime to See 8 USC §1325©.give a false statement under oath in any document required by the immigration laws or regulations. False representation may also constitute perjury and may be enough for a conviction of making false statements to government officers. See 18 USC §1546 (2005) (treating false representation of marital status as fraud against the United States); 18. USC §1001 (2005) (punishing concealment of facts); 8 USC §1325© (2005) (punishing “any individual who knowingly enters into a marriage for the purpose of evading any provision of the immigration laws”); 8 USC §1227(a)(1)(G) (2005) (proscribing “deportation for an alien who entered a for the purpose of procuring admission as an immigrant”); 18 USC§1621 (2005) (punishing perjury); 18 USC §371 (making it illegal conspire defraud the United States).

My ex lied to immigration already. One of her affidavits is riddled with false representations, too. Meanwhile, VAWA looks stuck at June 2011, so all I can do is sit and wait.

Meanwhile I focus on the baby and she is doing great. And so smart and beautiful and loves daddy. Lucky me!

March 4, 2013

such a sad story.

its not enough to be victimized by her lies.

but then the vawa victimizes the person too.

this needs to be stopped and laws changed.

Totally agree!

February 23, 2013

"They put me in a little room and I was interrogated for two hours. I hadn't slept for over 30 hours, all I could hear was my cat crying on the other side of the door. It was the worst experience of my life...."

Seriously? I'm an animal lover and all, but I'd say you are pretty blessed if this is the worst thing ever in your life.

February 18, 2013

Very sad guy how do you really find out a VAWA claim is follows against you? I would love to know I have heard it is impossible to really know.

Very sad guy how do you really find out a VAWA claim is follows against you? I would love to know I have heard it is impossible to really know.

Her attorney revealed it in court. Also, both times I went to USCIS they told me they couldn't tell me anything about my wife's case that it was now "confidential."

Pretty obvious don't you think?

Her attorney also turned over one of her relative's affidavit that was so full of lies it was incredible. How low will some people stoop? Lying to federal agents? Seriously? Stupid!!!

February 15, 2013

please remember - the summons is for pre-trial allocation of support - which is common in divorce cases, irrespective of any immigration status.

The lawyer (hers) is just doing his job, throwing down all he can and is allowed to throw down.

Your attorney must be able to fight most, if not all, of any thing that her attorney is throwing down with this pre-trial summons.

I'm not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, but if your attorney decides to play hard with the supposition that she's been scamming you and lying to you to get a green card, he still has to provide evidence as to WHY she should not be awarded temporary living expenses whilst the divorce proceedings are still going on.

The date span between filing and awarding of divorce varies, and is based on the court's calendar and schedule - not hers, and not yours.

This summons will go over, and cover, temporary orders for spousal support, to cover that date span. It is standard and normal. It's up to your attorney to fight it and fight it with the proper evidence.

So, good luck with that one part.

Alas, the person that files is the person that controls most and absolutely controls the pace. That's not you, so you are now in 'respond' mode.

I hope your attorney has some skills, really.

Good Luck !

Darnell is right. My ex's attorney did throw down all kinds of BS. They can literally say almost anything they want. My ex all of a sudden become illiterate, enslaved, trafficked, abandoned, abused, penniless etc. All BS. Be prepared. Show evidence, hire an attorney willing to fight, save money to pay your attorney, and be prepared to shell out some sort of settlement costs. The cost of fighting at trial is enormous. In retrospect I should have gone to trial, but I wanted out and was willing to pay for it and did so dearly. All other advice is very valid. Never be alone with her, try to fight the urge to lash out by text message, email, phone calls whatever. As many attorneys would say, "Divorce is war." Good luck.

February 15, 2013

As suggested by a platinum member...

If you are a man or woman accused of being an abuser, but you feel you were not an abuser please describe your situation. How your relationship fell apart, how you broke up, what you believe led your spouse/lover to claim VAWA, what you did if anything.

FYI, I sponsored a woman who turns out lied to me for a year and a half every single day prior to marriage. She had a lover behind everyone's back. I found out one week in to the marriage. I tried everything to save my marriage but also protect my finances and the child we conceived. My new wife lied to me everyday for 6 months. She bit me and scratched me. I never laid a finger on her, never called her a name. I simply caught her cheating and lying and found hundreds of pieces of evidence showing the scam. I had to divorce her.

Of course she was shocked and depressed over being caught and the divorce and having to leave the house and her child behind. I know she only came to USA for a green card, not for true love. She only wanted my money. Does she have PTSD? Probably because of divorce, but not because of abuse. She was caught red handed.

I pulled support at the very beginning. I sent evidence in to ICE and USCIS. I believe I am the victim of a sham marriage and a false and fraudulent VAWA claim

People say I should let it go, it is her claim to prove. However, as I've said many times, I am protecting my child as much as possible from a sociopathic liar. That is my story.

Any other victims of a false or fraudulent VAWA claim? Please add your story and outcome.

February 15, 2013

As suggested by a platinum member...

If you are a man or woman accused of being an abuser, but you feel you were not an abuser please describe your situation. How your relationship fell apart, how you broke up, what you believe led your spouse/lover to claim VAWA, what you did if anything.

February 14, 2013

I hae some additions to the advice you've been given.

OP, what are you doing for YOU? Emotionally and otherwise. Are you in therapy, attending counselling, meditating, spending time in church or doing other religious activities? What books are you reading to help you process all that you've been through? I'm asking all this because even though the divorce is done the work of healing is a road you should be paving rught now. In order for you to take care of your daughter you need to be healthy all around. Your child will easily see any bitterness that comes through you no matter how well you try to hide it, and that may poison your relationship with her if you let it.

Let me suggest the following books:

- In Sheeps Clothing - Dr. George K. Simon (I learned about this book from reading some of rlogan's old posts and it's been incredibly helpful. There might be a link to a pdf of an older version around VJ somewhere. I also own the audio version and it is superb.)

- Pulling your own strings - Dr. Wayne Dwyer

- Boundaries - John Townsend (This is a Christian book, fyi)

- Loyalty to your soul - Drs. Ronald & Mary Hulnick

I hope this helps you. Take care.

Therapy-check

Church-check

Friends-check

Playtime-check

Family time-check

Journaling-check

Happy-check

Outwardly bitter-negative

Internally bitter-not so much

Worried-yes (my ex threatened to get her child back, cheap words because she hasn't shown anything of the sort for over a year)

Wanting justice-yes

Disgruntled with VAWA loopholes and VSC backlog-yes

I'm a victim of fraud and a swindle. If you were out 100k you would be pissed, too. From a woman who took this basically from her own child. Selfish? Mentally ill? Yup, pretty much.

Thanks to all for the great advice. Working on the healing, committed to my child's happiness and enrichment and enjoyment of life. So far, so good.

February 13, 2013

Thanks to all for good advice.

Yes, focusing on child custody, safety, and happiness. I have full physical custody. Divorce was expensive but done. She does get visitation paid by me which I agreed to. The ex rarely visits and never calls her child, offers ZERO assistance in raising our child. She lives in a crime ridden neighborhood faraway and works in a minimum wage job. Loverboy is an egomaniac who took advantage of a desparate woman who came to his non-profit seeking assistance,and she seduced him too when she realized she could exchange "favors" for that assistance.

It is up to USCIS adjudicators to see through the BS on the VAWA side.

I just want to make sure my child grows up with good morals and ethics, not those of the likes of those two!

February 13, 2013

So she has no VAWA claim and she is here illegally. It is not her right to be here just because she wants to. This is not your problem, as you cannot do anything about it, but it seems that you should understand that. How long were you married, a few months?

ANYONE has the right to make a VAWA claim. My ex lived in beautiful home with all expenses paid and called her lover in her home country everyday for our 6 month marriage. I DIVORCED HER, and she is still claiming emotional abuse. And the current laws of the USA are such that a VAWA claimant only has to prove his/her side of the claim. Good US citizens men or woman have almost no recourse to this. Not only should you get a divorce attorney, but you might consider sending a well written letter with evidence to USCIS with reference to the beneficiary's A# of your good intentions in marriage.

Also, in a divorce case the estranged spouse can ask for whatever they want whether it is a one day marriage or 20 years. A million dollars, support, custody whatever. I had a 6 month marriage that was a total scam, and it still cost me dearly.

Wise saying "There is no losing attorney in family law" (They get paid no matter what). However, on the immigration side you may have support risks and need representation.

February 11, 2013

He could be a bad guy sure. But owning a weapon and sleeping with one doesn't mean he's going to hurt your child if he is going to associate with her. Owning a weapon doesn't make him a bad guy and neither does sleeping with one. If you want to send it to Homeland Security go ahead, but you'll just look like a paranoid bitter ex.

Print it by all means and keep it as evidence for child custody issues if you have them.. but that's all I'd do.

That's what the attorney said, too. Thanks.

Paranoid yes.

Bitter yes.

Went home for lunch and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with my daughter who ran in to my arms with a smile? Yes!

February 11, 2013

Excellent post, thanks.

Agree, and a good perspective.

Now guess what though. And remember it is less than 2 months since the Newtown massacre. My ex's lover, if you go back and read how he came in to the picture you can see what kind of character he is, posted a picture of his automatic weapon on his Twitter page. Said, "I have to sleep with his by my bed"

Any suggestions here? Do I send that to Homeland Security Investigations? I have a child to protect.

Let's think. My ex will want her daughter to have a relationship with her new boyfriend? The thought is repulsive.

February 8, 2013

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/413379-woman-travels-to-usaafter-marriage-husband-does-not-want-her-now/

Too bad this thread was closed! Very very suspiciously similar to what happened to me. A few things to note...

-We don't know the husband's side of the story really why he doesn't want her. In my case it was clear and anyone who knew the truth wouldn't want my ex!!!

-There is no support obligation. I had a couple attorneys ask me about that. K-1 no support. I was a nice guy and gave her a bunch of money, a diamond ring, and a plane ticket. My ex-wife swindled me and took off with the money and the ring...AND FILED VAWA. And accused me of human trafficking. Yes we were far apart in age, but her entire family and mine supported the relationship as true love. I was a victim of fraud that ran for 2 years and had a lot of complicity from her lying family members.

-I don't believe that many of these women want to return to their home country. They want a GC and money. America has is and so do the husbands (sometimes wives) in many cases. My ex-wife had people throwing money at her to sue my butt off, and she was pretty successful. Now she is in a disgusting relationship with one of the men at the non-profit that assisted her. Seriously, DISGUSTING.

-If she really wants to return home, I bet the husband would pay in a second if he knew he was at risk of a VAWA claim for emotional abuse and extreme cruelty. Many on that thread said she doesn't have much of a chance, but in NY State all you have to do is be yelled at (I got that straight from the mouth of a HSI investigator). And as sandranj has said, plenty of psychologists can write an easy report of depression/PTSD etc. whether it's true or not. On the other hand he has no financial risk really other than the divorce. I have the situation of being a single parent trying to protect my child from a sociopathic liar who also threatened on many occasions to take my child overseas (likely to never be seen by me again). My wife threatened suicide on many occasions but didn't as manipulative behavior for me to try to keep her around, instead she seduced one of her sponsors and got lots of extra support out of that! Whoopee!

-I like the idea that the wife's niece's friend who knows a woman from far away is seeking advice, but there is something very weird about the whole chain of friendships, events and need for advice in that thread.

-I do agree, 52 yo man living with his mother? Different. I was 52, single never married no kids, independent, wealthy and very much in love with an angel of a 23 yr old who was promised to me by her family (who I knew for many many years) to be wonderful and we were both so lucky. A week after marriage I found out I had married a lying cheater who was into internet pornography, about to send money (my money) to her lover overseas, and about to runaway with my daughter. Age is just a number, but immorality is personality disorder. Now I'm 53 broke, heartbroken, accused of being an abuser, accused of human trafficking, and living on pins and needles for the next 16 years with the most wonderful, happy, healthy, adorable, loving child one can possibly imagine. So, I will continue to fight for the happiness and protection and good morals and ethics my child deserves so help me God.

January 28, 2013

Very good points and well taken thank you.

She plotted to commit adultery upon her return to Vietnam.

She had her lover's bank account number.

She told her best friend she was going to get her green card, leave me, and get me for 18 years of child support (a plan she had in place prior to the baby even being born)

I'm sure she was distraught/depressed because she left her lover behind.

I'm sure she was distraught/depressed because I could legally and peacefully make her leave our marital home and her child behind when I served divorce.

I'm also very sure she was distraught/depressed because she didn't have her green card or any paper work in progress when I made her leave. Her initial i-485 was rejected, but she lied to federal agents and said I was trying to control her by not filing her papers and claimed I lied. However, she signed the forms and I did indeed send them all in, and they were rejected and sent back to us a fact she also knew. Lying to federal agents? Not a great idea.

She also filed a false claim of human trafficking based on her lies to her non-profit sponsor.

You can be sure she is lying up a storm to her "doctor" too. It would be hard to imagine a person could get a VAWA approved with this level of BS, but I'm sure it has happened.

As for evidence, I am sure I look like the bitter ex and the looking for retribution ex, but I also sent in real evidence of her behind my back nonsense like pornography, bank account numbers, discussion of getting the green card and running, emails from her family (many here and many back in the homeland) absolutely contradicting the affidavits they sent in, and being cleared of human trafficking.

Look, one doesn't falsely accuse someone of a major international crime and just walk away from that. Please.

I appreciate your expertise and views. I'm our nearly $100,000 on this scam.

I would think somehow in her twisted mind she thought she could learn to love me, but the fact that she called her lover in Vietnam every single day for 6 months after she got to the USA....I'll call MAJOR BS ON THAT.