Chocnut

I didn't expect I'd feel this way. It was all bright and sunny and blissful five months ago when I have my I do.
I left everything I loved for someone I love most. To build a life with him is worth letting go of the life I knew. To be his wife, to bring him good all the days of my life... That is now my calling. His wonderful-ness as a husband makes it a delight. The cost, on the other hand, is unexpectedly painful: death. Loss. Grief.
I used to have friends... Lots of them. Genuine friends. Now, they're miles away. Hardly any contact. Thoughts and feelings bottled up inside. I have only my husband to share my joys, tears, fears, disappointments, and victories... I feel like I'm depending on him too much for emotional support.. It's frustrating because I was very independent; I never felt like I needed anyone that much. Not anymore. At least for now.
I used to earn my own money, doing the job I enjoy. While I love being at home and obsessing on recipes and housekeeping and keeping myself pretty for my husband,I miss school. I miss being around kids. I miss talking to parents. I miss being a teacher... And being known to be excellent in such a field.
I used to go places whenever I want. On my own. Now, I can only go as far as my feet could take me. Got no driver's license yet. Public transport not an option. I'm limited to my husband's availability, which is whenever he has no work.
I feel like I lost myself. Many of the things I knew about myself seem to be gone. Try as I may to hold on to them, I could not. They're gone. Maybe they'll come back someday, but there's no point in waiting for something you're not sure will still return. The only thing I can do is to let go.
And embrace.
Embrace the new me. Whatever that would turn out to be.
Embrace my new life. I'm now the wife of the most wonderful, loving, patient man I know. I'm blessed to be called his girl.
Hurts for now. Dying dying. Dying to my old self. Like autumn leaves falling.
Spring will come. New beginnings. Soon.
After all that emo, I wonder... How many of you could relate to such?

I didn't expect I'd feel this way. It was all bright and sunny and blissful five months ago when I have my I do.
I left everything I loved for someone I love most. To build a life with him is worth letting go of the life I knew. To be his wife, to bring him good all the days of my life... That is now my calling. His wonderful-ness as a husband makes it a delight. The cost, on the other hand, is unexpectedly painful: death. Loss. Grief.
I used to have friends... Lots of them. Genuine friends. Now, they're miles away. Hardly any contact. Thoughts and feelings bottled up inside. I have only my husband to share my joys, tears, fears, disappointments, and victories... I feel like I'm depending on him too much for emotional support.. It's frustrating because I was very independent; I never felt like I needed anyone that much. Not anymore. At least for now.
I used to earn my own money, doing the job I enjoy. While I love being at home and obsessing on recipes and housekeeping and keeping myself pretty for my husband,I miss school. I miss being around kids. I miss talking to parents. I miss being a teacher... And being known to be excellent in such a field.
I used to go places whenever I want. On my own. Now, I can only go as far as my feet could take me. Got no driver's license yet. Public transport not an option. I'm limited to my husband's availability, which is whenever he has no work.
I feel like I lost myself. Many of the things I knew about myself seem to be gone. Try as I may to hold on to them, I could not. They're gone. Maybe they'll come back someday, but there's no point in waiting for something you're not sure will still return. The only thing I can do is to let go.
And embrace.
Embrace the new me. Whatever that would turn out to be.
Embrace my new life. I'm now the wife of the most wonderful, loving, patient man I know. I'm blessed to be called his girl.
Hurts for now. Dying dying. Dying to my old self. Like autumn leaves falling.
Spring will come. New beginnings. Soon.
After all that emo, I wonder... How many of you could relate to such?

This is beautiful. I'd love to highlight everything you said, especially the Afghan part. Wow. If there's one thing I'm thankful for all these sorrow, that is the character being built when we stay positive and hopeful. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

I didn't expect I'd feel this way. It was all bright and sunny and blissful five months ago when I have my I do.
I left everything I loved for someone I love most. To build a life with him is worth letting go of the life I knew. To be his wife, to bring him good all the days of my life... That is now my calling. His wonderful-ness as a husband makes it a delight. The cost, on the other hand, is unexpectedly painful: death. Loss. Grief.
I used to have friends... Lots of them. Genuine friends. Now, they're miles away. Hardly any contact. Thoughts and feelings bottled up inside. I have only my husband to share my joys, tears, fears, disappointments, and victories... I feel like I'm depending on him too much for emotional support.. It's frustrating because I was very independent; I never felt like I needed anyone that much. Not anymore. At least for now.
I used to earn my own money, doing the job I enjoy. While I love being at home and obsessing on recipes and housekeeping and keeping myself pretty for my husband,I miss school. I miss being around kids. I miss talking to parents. I miss being a teacher... And being known to be excellent in such a field.
I used to go places whenever I want. On my own. Now, I can only go as far as my feet could take me. Got no driver's license yet. Public transport not an option. I'm limited to my husband's availability, which is whenever he has no work.
I feel like I lost myself. Many of the things I knew about myself seem to be gone. Try as I may to hold on to them, I could not. They're gone. Maybe they'll come back someday, but there's no point in waiting for something you're not sure will still return. The only thing I can do is to let go.
And embrace.
Embrace the new me. Whatever that would turn out to be.
Embrace my new life. I'm now the wife of the most wonderful, loving, patient man I know. I'm blessed to be called his girl.
Hurts for now. Dying dying. Dying to my old self. Like autumn leaves falling.
Spring will come. New beginnings. Soon.
After all that emo, I wonder... How many of you could relate to such?

Where's the Like button?