chaine1

I'm as regular as rain, right after breakfast and morning coffee. On the very rare occassion it doesn't happen, my whole day feels ruined, as I feel like I've been ripped off.

Hubby is less regular, he just goes when he needs to go. Which I find weird.

I like being regular. Beats the stress of having to find a suitable toilet (because not every toilet will do for number 2 - hey, that rhymed!) at random times of the day.

I think your first comment belongs in the rant thread. I know I'd be ranting to find out I owe the IRS 22,000. I thought last year was bad when I owed them 5 grand.

True, I was torn. Boring because I know I'll have to devote a large portion of my time to getting this fixed, which will make me even more boring, as my life is devoted to schoolwork right now.. But that also gives me a reason to rant. Maybe I'll post it there too.

Checked the status of my federal tax refund today...and found out the IRS amended the return and they think we owe nearly $22,000. I about spit out my coffee.

It might have been a good year to hire someone to do it for us. Now I have to figure out how to fight with the IRS.

I discovered that Yankee Candle has a whole line of Man Candles.

http://www.yankeecandle.com/yankee-candles/jar-candles/man-candles

For some reason, I find this....disturbing.

The common tendency to take stories about incidents in Muslim countries at face value, without much (easy) fact checking (language need not be a barrier with the glory that is Google Translate)

Agree with most of the article, but Google Translate for Arabic is terrible!! Any time I use it, I just get a bunch of gibberish - in my experience, it's basically worthless for Arabic.

However, I do think journalism standards tend to low in the Middle East. It was often hard to find the true story in any reporting, and many journalists merely reported gossip and rumors. I know Western media is not immune to this, but it seemed, to me at least, that it happened far more frequently in Kuwait. If the Western media was truly motivated by a political agenda to 'mischaracterize' the Middle East, I think stories like this could be reported weekly, as the English language newspaper I often read in Kuwait was full of ridiculous stories. Which may have been true, but had no place in a 'respectable' newspaper. Here's an example, from the crime section of one of Kuwait's best newspapers:

Husband Stinks Bad - Want Divorce

KUWAIT CITY, March 14: A woman, whose identity has not been disclosed, is suing for divorce because she cannot stand the bad odor emanating from the body of her husband, reports Al-Anba daily.

According to reports the woman on several occasions requested the man to get himself treated or know the reason of bad odor but at all times she ended up being beaten by the man. The daily said the lawsuit has been filed at the Palace of Justice.

http://www.arabtimesonline.com/NewsDetails/tabid/96/smid/414/ArticleID/194102/reftab/96/t/Husband-Stinks-Bad---Want-Divorce/Default.aspx

An alternative however seems to be the L1 visa (I need to work in the US for my own company, which has offices in the UK, NL and US), as it seems to be processed quicker (around one month, egov.uscis.gov/cris/processingTimesDisplay.do)? In that case I wouldn't 'use' my US citizenship though and hence it would be awkward if it would be the better route?

I'm pretty sure an L-1 is for the individual working for the international company. As a US citizen, you could not qualify. The only way your wife would qualify for an L-1 is if she got a job with an international company. Not something I'm too familiar with, so I hope someone with more experience with an L-1 can comment.

- The form doesn't ask to send any proof for marriage. Do you need to bring this to the interview instead?

The I-130 does ask for proof - a marriage certificate and proof of bone fide relationship. Are you looking at the instructions, or just the form itself?

- We are not yet married but planning to do so in about six weeks. I'm assuming that we have to wait for the marriage before filing the I-130? (instead of already filing and bringing the evidence/marriage documents to the interview)

Yes. Can't file until officially married.

- We are planning to live in the US for around two years. The I-130 form gets my wife an immigrant visa though. Should we indicate that we are looking to immigrate to the US for an indefinite period, or for two years? Or doesn't it matter?

Doesn't matter.

- I-130 seems to be the best way for my wife to get to the US and be able to work. An alternative however seems to be the L1 visa (I need to work in the US for my own company, which has offices in the UK, NL and US), as it seems to be processed quicker (around one month, egov.uscis.gov/cris/processingTimesDisplay.do)? In that case I wouldn't 'use' my US citizenship though and hence it would be awkward if it would be the better route?

Sorry, can't comment here. Hopefully someone else can.

Speedwell mentioned it, but I wanted to make sure you saw it - make sure you've filed your last three years of taxes!! Even though you live abroad, the US government expects you to have done this, and will ask for proof at the NVC stage. As you are residing abroad, you may make it through the USCIS stage fairly quickly (use your address abroad), and if you haven't filed your taxes, this could slow you down considerably.

There is a thread with information from people who filed abroad, and while the trend has changed a bit from when the thread started, there is still plenty of good information here:

http://www.visajourn...-living-abroad/

Good luck!

ETA: I see you've already found it!

That's not what I hear from people here and people I work with who have found the process extraordinarily difficult from the Philippines.

From my understanding, paperwork and such may be scrutinized more heavily for authenticity, but as long as everything is in order and authentic, most people will receive their K-1/I-130 visas. Compare that with Nigeria, Pakistan, Morocco, in which immigrant visas are routinely denied, even with loads of evidence. Anyway, maybe someone with lots of knowledge about the Philippine embassy can comment on this.

And four pounds? No, dude. No. That's over a thousand pieces of paper.

Plenty of people front-load, especially those going through embassies such as Nigeria. Four pounds is not unusual, and is actually encouraged in these cases (as long as it is quality evidence).

The Philippines is a difficult nation to immigrate from.

The Philippines is actually not considered to be a difficult embassy. And if it was, you would WANT the 4 pounds of evidence.

rhycca, yes, if you didn't make it to interview, and it was the I-130 that was denied (not the visa itself at the embassy), then refile. Don't waste time appealing.

How is there no waiting list to immigrate these relatives if they are only invited to apply for an immigrant visa once the I-130 is approved?

It's confusing, I know. What they mean is that, as a US citizen, you will not have to wait for a visa number to be available. As a permanent resident, you would likely be looking at 2.5-3 years before a spouse was able to immigrate. It doesn't mean your wife can immediately move to the USA once filing has occurred. It just means you don't have to wait for a visa to become available after approval. As a permanent resident, you would get the I-130 approval, and then be placed in a queue to wait for a visa to become available, which can translate into several years. As a US citizen, you can skip the queue, but must still wait for the approval and visa issuance.

the material in that link is directly copied from the UCIS website

It's completely counter-intuitive, but don't rely on the USCIS website or call center. Had I done that, I would have been sent down the wrong road, chasing a K-3 visa, which is now basically obsolete, but is still offered by the USCIS.

Good luck!

sorry not DCF, i meant by consular processing as opposed to adjustment of status as it is faster.

http://www.lexisnexi...pdfs/web549.pdf

Research, research, research on this website. The link you've provided is misleading - consular processing is not faster than AOS (if you are measuring speed as how quickly you are together).

With consular processing, you are looking at roughly a year before she would move to the USA as a permanent resident.

But as Vanessa said, you need to become very familiar with immigration procedures. Use this website for that.

My plan of action now is to wait for my citizenship to go through, hopefully! once that is complete file I-130 then file for a CR-1 by Direct Consular Filing.

No DCF - you live in the US. DCF is not an option.

You should file the I-130 now. You can update when you get your citizenship. Do a search for the procedures for that.

The only issue is what the CBP recorded regarded the lie by omission - it is embassy staff that make the decisions regarding receiving immigrant visas, not CBP. Embassy staff will look at her file and make the decision, not CBP.

Sorry, just saw that she was currently allowed a 4 day parole to collect her belongings. I don't know anything about that kind of parole, but that this probably be your best chance for her to take her exams. But getting a long-term visa in which she is allowed to stay in the USA may be out of reach until you file an immigrant visa.

What visa(s) are you referring to? Do you think it would be possible for her to come back on a valid student/tourist visa B1 or similar?

It is unlikely she will be approved for anything other than an immigrant visa at this point (and if CBP recorded that she lied about being married, even that could be in jeopardy). She already has documented immigrant intent.

I hope someone who has more experience with this kind of situation replies, but I think the chances of her making it back in to take exams in July are pretty slim, and if I were you, would start making plans to that effect.

Good luck.

• "In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution… by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half." — Life magazine
• "At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it's only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable." — Ecologist Kenneth Watt
• "Air pollution...is certainly going to take hundreds of thousands of lives in the next few years alone." — Paul Ehrlich

Also, these concerns led to the Clean Air Act.

It's easy to look back and think what fools we were when the research at the time led to policies and practices that made these concerns obsolete. Kind of like - Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

• "Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years." — Stanford University biologist Paul Ehrlich
• "Most of the people who are going to die in the greatest cataclysm in the history of man have already been born… [by 1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s." — Paul Ehrlich
• "It is already too late to avoid mass starvation," — Denis Hayes, Chief organizer for Earth Day
• "Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions…. By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine." — North Texas State University professor Peter Gunter

It was these concerns that led to the Green Revolution. From Wikipedia.

Green Revolution refers to a series of research, development, and technology transfer initiatives, occurring between the 1940s and the late 1970s, that increased agriculture production around the world, beginning most markedly in the late 1960s. It forms a part of the 'neo-colonial' system of agriculture wherein agriculture was viewed as more of a commercial sector than a subsistence one.^[1]

The initiatives, led by Norman Borlaug, the "Father of the Green Revolution" credited with saving over a billion people from starvation, involved the development of high-yielding varieties of cereal grains, expansion of irrigation infrastructure, modernization of management techniques, distribution of hybridized seeds, synthetic fertilizers, and pesticides to farmers.

Muslim women are a diverse group,

Yes, much like USA women.

While I taught in Kuwait, many of my Kuwaiti/Arabic girl students, at the ages of 16-17, already had far, far more opportunities than I ever had at that age. Many (along with their families) travel the world at every opportunity, have the internal drive to make 4.0s, and many will/went on to some the USA’s best universities – places like Cornell, Princeton, etc. And yet they were still down to earth and the most sincere, kind girls (while wearing Gucci and Prada). I loved them.

However, I taught the very upper echelon of society. Move down the ladder and the opportunities for girls diminished. I had friends who taught at other, lesser schools who had stories of kids being beaten by their fathers, in front of teachers, at school. Kids who came to school bruised and beaten. Girls who were pulled out of school because they got married at 15, 16, or 17. Sure, these things happen in the USA, but there is a system in place meant to protect them. In Kuwait, teachers were told to ignore it, as there is no legal consequence for child abuse.

I couldn’t help but compare myself to these young girls sometimes. I grew up in a small town in Louisiana, the daughter of traditional Southern Baptist parents. My parents expected their daughters to grow up to be obedient, God-fearing housewives, and therefore did not invest much into our education. My sister is now an MD, and I am working through a PhD program in the sciences. My older sister paved the way for me, thankfully, but my father was initially furious at her decision to apply to med school and threatened to disown her. She was very brave and I am proud to call her my sister.

Swap my humble upbringing in the USA with Kuwait, and I’m not so sure we would have had the same opportunities. I sometimes shudder to think how different my life could have been.

Lots of women in KSA commit adultery and have children out of wedlock. Very rarely is this punished.

Really?? I lived in Kuwait for 5 years, and the child born out of wedlock thing was not tolerated at all, even among western women. I had several friends who got pregnant, and then either left the country or quickly married. I even had one friend who, upon returning to Kuwait from a trip, was pulled aside and questioned for 2 hours because she was pregnant and didn't have a wedding ring on.

A Kuwaitii (or other Arab woman in Kuwait) woman giving birth out of wedlock would be almost unfathomable to me. I never heard about it, saw it, or even spoke to anyone who experienced it. I'm sure it happens some, but from my experience, it seemed it would be extremely rare.

There is only two things that really advance mankind........ Private industry that is driven by greed to produce wonderful new things--Light Bulbs, Automobiles(Henry ford figured out how to do it cheaper and faster something the govt will never do)

The other thing that drives technology is war or threat of war... Supersonic flight, space exploration, the internet, Battlefield medicine , etc etc.

Greed and war baby... They innovate.

Science and technological innovation are not the same thing. Technological innovation can result from science, but that can take years and years. The discovery of penicillin is good example of 'boring and stupid scientific work' leading to a medical revolution.

govt agency that devolved #######

I haven't worked for a government agency, but I might hypothesize that government agencies are pretty good at passing ####### around.

Or would you rather spend that money on a gym membership?

I think a good gym with good group fitness classes (like Les Mills) are worth their weight in gold.

I've tried to do both the insanity and P90X. I can never seem to do them with the same level of intensity and dedication as I do when I have a gym class with a real live instructor and real live participants. The energy and motivation is infectious, and I find a smaller gym, in which you get to know people by name, can form a great community and adds to the accountability. If I can't get in to the gym for a few days, I start to feel guilty!

I get WAAAY better results when I have found a gym I love. And I stick to Les Mills classes only. The class like Body Attack and Body Pump are far more intense, IMO, than P90X or insanity.

I don't post much on here, but I just wanted to say you are getting very good advice from the members here.

I'm not married to a MENA man, but I lived in and traveled around the MENA region for 5 years. I would advise you to take things very slowly and first understand the culture before attaching yourself to this man further.

From your posts it sounds like you haven't traveled outside the USA too much? I think staying in Algeria for an extended period of time is a good idea so you can gain perspective regarding the culture.

He once had a long-term (secret) sexual affair with a woman 16 years older than him, which lasted for 3 years. (This makes me think he's more Western-minded)

What wife_of_mahmoud said. Be careful placing too much emphasis on this affair, and try not to look at it from a Western perspective.

He told me that his mother and brother told him that he's 'lost his mind' - and said, "Why would an American woman be interested in YOU?"

A lot of the families I knew would have reacted very differently - voicing displeasure that their son was interested in an older American (non-muslim) woman. Not to say that his family feels that way, but family is a HUGE thing in most MENA families, and the idea of their son marrying a woman who would be unable to give him children would be a deal breaker.

But again, there are always exceptions. Just take your time to give yourself a chance to see if you have found one of these exceptions.

Good luck, and have fun in Algeria!

Ugh...the photos were embedded when I was typing the post...then disappeared when I posted...what did I do wrong!?!

Hubby and I are more dog people, but adopted three cats while living in Kuwait. Kuwait is overrun with mostly feral strays living a pretty miserable existence, and I couldn't bear to turn away a non-feral kitten or cat when they found me/us.

For some reason, I only have pictures of our cats as kittens...might need to fix that!

These two are Tikka (left) and Fattie. I found Tikka living in a shopping center. She was being feed curry and rice by a group of Indians who worked there. We named her Latika (Tikka for short) after the character in Slumdog Millionaire. We watched Fattie being born, as a friend had adopted a pregnant cat from off the street. He was the biggest of the litter, thus the name...

And this is Paris, whom we found at the Hilton. She has definitely lived up to that name, as she is a cranky diva most of the time. We may have set ourselves up for that one....her first meal from us was lobster, the leftovers from dinner at the Hilton.

Moving them from Kuwait to the USA via a two long flights and 24 hours was something we vowed NEVER to do again. The first 8 hours were a chorus of 'meow, meow' back and forth. I'm sure everyone loved us.

Hi whitey,

This is your master list. I know 26 pages is a lot, but if you want to fully understand this topic, I highly recommend you read through it all.

Good Luck!

What a load off it must be!! Yay!! Congratulations! Finally.