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Amanda&Elvio
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Posts posted by Amanda&Elvio
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I'm so heartbroken, I never thought I would be writing one of these topics. I met my husband in Paraguay almost 2 years ago. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in his town. We got married 8 months ago and I couldn't have been happier. Our petition was fast-tracked through USCIS since I was living abroad and we arrived in the US together in May.
I always knew that he was a jealous person but I guess that was a bit of an understatement. If I so much as looked at another guy he thought I liked him. I would tell him that's not true and that looking at people, even talking and laughing with people in my culture doesn't mean anything. I am a friendly person. I'm not flirty, just friendly. But in his culture, men and women hardly interact so that concept was very difficult for him to accept. Cheating is also extremely common in his culture so he was naturally insecure. He was constantly accusing me of liking other men for absolutely ridiculous reasons and then wouldn't believe when I told him that he was wrong for thinking that. He was sometimes verbally abusive as well but he would always apologize later and say he was trying to change.
I convinced myself that he would change when we got to the US and saw how our culture was. Nothing changed here. He kept going back to how I acted in Paraguay and all the men I supposedly liked there. We went to see a marriage counselor but that didn't help. Finally I just couldn't take his accusations and his lack of trust anymore. I told him he had to leave. He didn't believe that I would actually send him back to Paraguay so I bought him a ticket for the next day (today). At that point he broke down completely and kept saying "What have I done?!" and "This is all my fault." He accepted responsibility but it was too late. I had given him so many opportunities to change. He said he would go back to Paraguay and pay for his mistakes and maybe take some English classes (he speaks Spanish) and that he wanted to come back and start over but I don't know if that was all a show to get me to take him back or if he was being genuine. I want to believe him so badly and I truly believe that he wanted to change but that his head was not in the right place. I don't want to rush into divorce if there is a possibility of working it out. I also know that he shouldn't stay out of the US for a long time or he risks not being able to re-enter.
I guess I just wanted to get all my thoughts out and see if anyone had any thoughts or advice to offer. I'm just hurting right now, I miss my husband and I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance.
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Thanks so much for your reply Amanda. In fact, I tried to do that. However, they told me to keep waiting.. I do not really understand why because in their website they tell you to go to the nearest office if you do not get it within 21 days..
Yeah they're website and their actual people are very inconsistent. When we went we took my husband's birth certificate instead of his passport because that's what the website told us to bring. After waiting for over an hour we got up to the counter and they said they couldn't accept the birth certificate as a form of ID. So frustrating! Anyway, my advise to you would be to go back when it's been 30 days since you arrived in the US and try again to get the card. Don't wait another 2 weeks. I hope you can get it soon, I know how frustrating this is!
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My husband checked the box on the DS-230 too but a month after we got to the US his SSN still had not arrived. So we went to the local office and they were able to tell us that he was not even in the system. They should at least be able to tell you that much. After we applied at the local office the card came in one week. Good luck!
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glass bottle
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Out of the 93% how many took the time out to return to the forum to share their experience with us? How many of them actually stop by to say a hearty thank you to any member who always help them hung in there. that is what i would like to know. i think the figures to this is worth taking a look at don't you think?
I think most people do but once the interview is over there is a lot to do to get ready for POE and once you are reunited with your spouse, spending hours on VisaJourney isn't exactly at the top of your list of priorities. I am very thankful to everyone on here for their support but as soon as my husband wakes up the computer is going off!
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Yes, all immigrants arriving for the first time have to go through secondary inspection. That's where you hand over the sealed envelope from the Embassy and they go through all the paperwork.
Also, the officer was trying to tell me that we had to remove conditions in a year. Another officer came in and said it was 2 years and they actually started yelling at each other! It was ridiculous. Then the second officer took our file and completed everything in about 10 minutes.
If there aren't a lot of people waiting and you have a competent CBP officer you should get through pretty quickly. 5 hours should be plenty of time.
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Congratulations! Can you elaborate on the ignorance of the CPB officer? Did you have a short layover? We will have a 5 hour layover in Atlanta which is way more than we will need, but it just worked out that way for the cheapest flight.
Our layover was 3.5 hours. We were the only ones waiting in the secondary inspection area so we should have had plenty of time. The officer took the folder from my husband and was looking through it. She asked me all kinds of questions about our relationship, it was like our Embassy interview all over again except she only spoke to me because she didn't speak Spanish and my husband doesn't speak English yet. First she couldn't find his A-number, which was the first thing listed on the outside of his packet. I pointed it out to her and then she said it didn't show up in the computer. She said she could see our case at USCIS but not the A-number, which for some reason was a problem. So she got really frantic and kept repeating herself. She just didn't seem very professional and wasted a lot of time by not going to ask for help from another officer.
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My husband did his POE through the Bahamas and that's not listed on the review list. Would it be possible to add it on?
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We did POE yesterday and SURPRISE, it was in the Bahamas! Thanks to the ignorance of one CPB officer we missed our flight but the American Airlines staff were awesome and put us on another flight immediately and we were still able to meet our next connection and get to Kansas City on time (but one bag short). 5 flights and 22 hours later we are HOME!!
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It was pretty easy. I actually got more questions there than I did at the actually embassy interview. But regardless it was easy. They basically process your information so they can send everything to USCIS to have your green card produced. I will write a review for my POE but they dont list Nassau Bahamas as an option, I sent a PM to the admin. Are you getting nervous yet????????
We are flying through Nassau but I didn't realize that was a POE to the US. I thought our POE would be Dallas. Now I'm confused
. Either way, our flight leaves tomorrow night!!! -
car repair
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Lansing, MI
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Ya know, I thought I remembered reading that somewhere but I went to there profile and it wasn't updated yet. Congrats dimples!! And good luck to everyone with interviews coming up!
Amanda&Elvio: April 30 (APPROVED!)
ayomide1: May 2
dimples: May 3 (APPROVED!)
DanHill13: May 4 (APPROVED!)
StephanieM: May 4 (APPROVED!)
Matt & Rocio: May 7
Peter D: May 8
cheekyerica: May 9
Divs: May 9
July15: May 9
BerryNRocco: May 10
Peaksy: May 11
trojam227: May 15
Alaska2012: May 16
RiaB: May 17
nica: May 21
Amrita&Terry: May 21
Trav&Shell: May 22
Chrissy&Mark: May 22
diani0626: May 23
GoingCrazy2012: May 30
mrsbinns: May 30
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side car
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Athens, Greece
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Updated. Congrats Steph! And welcome to the fun Trav&Shell
Amanda&Elvio: April 30 (APPROVED!)
ayomide1: May 2
dimples: May 3
DanHill13: May 4 (APPROVED!)
StephanieM: May 4 (APPROVED!)
Matt & Rocio: May 7
Peter D: May 8
cheekyerica: May 9
Divs: May 9
July15: May 9
BerryNRocco: May 10
Peaksy: May 11
trojam227: May 15
Alaska2012: May 16
RiaB: May 17
nica: May 21
Amrita&Terry: May 21
Trav&Shell: May 22
Chrissy&Mark: May 22
diani0626: May 23
GoingCrazy2012: May 30
mrsbinns: May 30
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Nemby, Paraguay
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kick ball
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Nassau, Bahamas
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news report
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Amanda&Elvio: April 30 (APPROVED!)
ayomide1: May 2
dimples: May 3
DanHill13: May 4 (APPROVED!)
StephanieM: May 4
Matt & Rocio: May 7
Peter D: May 8
cheekyerica: May 9
Divs: May 9
July15: May 9
BerryNRocco: May 10
Peaksy: May 11
trojam227: May 15
Alaska2012: May 16
RiaB: May 17
nica: May 21
Amrita&Terry: May 21
Chrissy&Mark: May 22
diani0626: May 23
GoingCrazy2012: May 30
mrsbinns: May 30
Husband went home
in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits
Posted
We did discuss the situation ahead of time. I told him that he couldn't stay here and continue treating me this way. He had a friend in New York and I asked if he would rather go there and he preferred to go home to Paraguay so I did not "send him home". I've read plenty of other posts like that so I understand where that idea comes from but that's not what happened.
I could attribute his behavior to culture shock if it had started here in the US but he had been treating me this way since before we even got married. I told myself he would change once we got married. Then I told myself he would change once we got here. That was probably dumb of me.
I think you are misunderstanding our situation. I didn't hang out with men in Paraguay because I didn't like the way they treated women. It is a very machismo culture, I was catcalled every time I left the house and I didn't appreciate that. After we got married, I stayed home, cleaned the house, took care of everything there while he worked. So basically, what a Paraguayan wife would do. But if I would so much as say hello to a man, he would go into a jealous rage. And then he would dwell on that instance for months afterwards saying that I wanted to be with that man. That, to me, is irrational behavior. I did everything I knew how to do to help him. He admitted that he had a problem with jealousy and that wanted to fix it but that sometimes his thoughts were just out of control. His family is very supportive of both of us and I hope that they will be able to give him some sort of help. I don't see how I'm being selfish at all but I appreciate your opinion.