InHisTime

Girl, please be strong and follow your instinct / gut. You definitely a woman with self worth -- I just think you need to slow down and not continue with your K-1 petition. Based on your story, it's not worth it....don't wait things to become more complicated. Thank God at least you have known this thing earlier -- it would be more costly and painful if you get married to him....then would end up getting divorce. Don't worry - your baby would be well even without his father -- I'm sure you could raise him / her well. Trust God always

Hi there! I am so sorry reading your story. I think you just need to move on with your life and kids. You could divorce her as well, so you would be free in the future. You may be telling true stories, but, right now, it's just hard to judge your wife. I'm sure, she also has valid reasons why she left. We all know nobody here at VJ exactly knows what happened between you and her. I'm just saying this, because, I too....had to come back home after I've seen and experienced how I was badly treated by one member of the family of my Fiance - which really affected our relationship. Things didn't turn out good as expected, as I felt everyday, I was living on hell or in the darkest side of the earth. It was very good that I had enough money when I went there so I did eat and enjoy America well.
I honestly tried my best to get along and understand their situation knowing what we went through a lot of hardships with the paper works and immigration expense, but, it's just hard to continue staying with selfish one, especially that it was not a genuine care.
To lessen damages and avoid conflicts, I decided not to marry and come back home before my 90 days expire. Let the future holds for us -- marriage shouldn't be taken for granted, therefore, if it wasn't right -- don't ever continue -- it's a sign that I have to slow down.
I like America - the place is nice and clean, but, still requires me with lots of hardships and sacrifices to have the life we all envisioned for. I was hoping that there had been a positive and inspiring atmosphere / environment in the house so it could greatly help adjust my life in the US, thus, sharing harmonious life with them. Instead of making things easy for me, they make it so difficult. I wasn't expecting all material things to be ready -- I was hoping to see genuine care and sharing. They maybe have thought that I have a hidden agenda in coming to the US. Trust is very important to me, so I could bring out the best in me and in the relationship. I think it was a blessing then because now I am back home and work happily. I had so much risks in getting to the US (leaving my home, family, friends, nice and secured job, and important of all -- ability and freedom to make decisions on my own). Now, I realized how good is God to me - enjoying normal life here with peace of mind.
I have no regrets in coming home -- at least, I tried to give out the best in the name of love !
My advice to the poster -- just move on ! Maybe it's not meant to be.
To other petitioners -- if possible, please create a positive and supportive environment when your Fiance / Fiancee arrives. It is very important as he / she is a total stranger in America -- especially at the start when she arrives (first 3 months is very crucial) -- because, after seeing America -- if she / he is not treated well, definitely he / she would want to go back home, feeling lonely and homesick, especially if he / she has a lot of good things left in his / her home country. Please give love to the fullest ! That's all we need --
Hope this serves as good input in avoiding your fiance / fiancee coming back home. Thank you all --- have a blessed day everyone !

Hey Alex sorry to hear about you situation. Just some suggestions and observations from my years of experience with Filipinos in general.. First of all IMO she needs attention from you as her spouse. Not sure of her background but a larger % of women I dated and was married to from Philippines needs attention.. Some due to maybe not having attention while growing up; some maybe from having a life behind the idiot box (computer) chatting with men telling them everything they want to hear. And from what I could not figure out which my divorce Attorney had the same issue with his Latina Wife, they can be jealous of our families. My ex wife was a Filipina that lived in USA 20 years before we met. She would treat me terrible and make all sorts of accusations when I would spend time with my Adult sons. She made my life hell. After a short time being married I realized a counseler was not going to fix her issues and filed for a divorce. Not sure where you fall in the above but I will not allow anyone on this earth to step in between my son's and me. No Way. And one is in Kuwait living and one is 1200 miles north of me. Nor would I interfere with my fiancee conversing or having relationships with her family. I actually encourage her as she does me. This was a majot factor in me delaying my Journey here as I wanted to make sure my fiancee understands my family is blood and will always be in our lives.. She knows and so far has accepted...
Suggestions: Allow her to interact with your children and become their step mom? I don't care the ages or anything.. I plan on making it a joke that my son's step mother is a few years younger than her.. She loves to joke as well so I know just having fun with this will help us all.
Is she involved in a Phil-Am network??? This is good and bad. Good as it is important to have her own kind around. Bad if having her around them causes bad ideas or karma from them. Sometimes those groups can get competitve.
Finally and this comes from a man with zero patience but made a lot of past mistakes... Understand her situation. Try the above as well as other suggestions. Assure her sharing your love with your kids does not change the love for her.
If she is bent on going back to RP after all you have tried then either counseling or wish her the best...
Good luck!
Shawn

Yeah, I agree ! but, it is still an honorable thing to do -- being able to control our emotion or anger when we are prompted to a similar situations. Only very few people can manage their anger on the right time. I salute the poster though !

Hi there ! I do understand your concern, but, as Leatherneck said....you don't have to worry about it - it's THEM, NOT YOU. Be glad that you didn't do this as clearly this is unethical. Let USCIS find it out for them, its no longer your business, in my opinion. Just be grateful to God that you did well in your immigration process. Have a peaceful mind. If you wish you could also have the same great wedding in the Philippines when you and your husband are able. May God bless you and take care of your marriage.

I understand why you won't quit for now as you truly love this girl. In fact, coming to see her indicates your strong feeling for her. But, God is telling you to slow down for now -- assess the situation you are in. I know it is really hard as this matters your heart, but, be strong and wise. Please love yourself too. Seems you are a good man. You deserve one who is compassionate, consistent and reliable -- one who takes HEART in a relationship. Please give enough time of knowing her true character and personal values. You won't be happy in the end if you marry a selfish and self-centered woman. You cannot change her to become a better person, even you give her all what she wants-- only God can change her, but, she needs to humble herself to the Lord.Hope she would realize and come before God. I pray that you would be able to discern God's will for you. May you guard your heart too.
The scripture says
Jeremiah 29 verse 11 states, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." We have to admit that our own wisdom and understanding of our circumstances is limited to our own human experience of life. But God has a plan, and he is able to see your future, his understanding is greater because he knows your future.
Sorry this happens to you....but you will be fine in the end I know -- just trust God and learn from this experience.

Oh, I can give you one example, Manny Pacquiao -- he is very rich now, but, the more he tries to be humble! He was once interviewed in TV, he said that "the more we go up, the more we should try to go down" as that is what God wants us to be. When we truly have God in our hearts.... all the fruits of the holy spirit will truly manifest IN and OUT of us, no matter what we have achieved in life. So please allow God to continue working on us -- He is not finished yet. Praise God

Yes, indeed...this is true! I have seen it several times and it's not only for Filipinos! I think it is because of the nature of man. That's why it is best to put into practice what we have learned and believe in Christianity. We need to live with Christ in our hearts. The fruits of the holy spirit will abound / manifest us through being kind, humble, compassionate, loving, forgiving and understanding. A true practicing christian -- you see him / her being so humble and kind to everyone. God bless to all of us