qwerty1974

We arrived at seven for a 9am interview and were very glad we did as we did not have our DS160's nor the digital photographs so had to go to Gould pharmacy and pay a small fortune to have it all done. There were three of us (myself and two children) so it took about an hour and a half to complete said forms. Earlier is better in my opinion Good luck!

@santacruz I was so especially sorry to hear of your experience but also think you're very brave and right to share it with others who may soon be in the same circumstance. I have a friend who holidays to Turkey a lot and seems to bring a new young guy back each time. Of course they've all run after about two months but she laughs and says 'well hell, I got what I wanted..I m not stupid' and I suppose fair play to her, though I couldn't do it.

I know it is irritating how it seems one rule for men and another for women and hopefully that will change, but I think it goes beyond just sexism. For it to change our brains will have to rewire. At the moment, and historically, what attracts us to mates are certain precursors, for women being attracted to men it is primitively yet still true: someone who looks a good provider (age HELPS with this rather than hinders it) and for men it is youth, shape, scent and so on. This means that pretty pan culturally it is more believable that a women would genuinely fall for an older man and stick with him than a younger guy go for an older women. It does occur, and not to demean those relationships for the duration they DO last, they always seem to break down at some point, often leaving the women then with no chance of finding another mate to grow old with, whilst the guy has plenty of time to remarry, and plenty of options and can even pick up and have children if he wanted. I look at my older husband and see 'distinguished, sexy, refined' but when younger men look at older women they don't really see the same things as we do. A phrase often heard is 'wow, she looks good FOR HER AGE', not really Very flattering is it. I hope you guys have genuine partners but do listen to the experiences of santacruz and be prepared, as in any relationships, for the worst if it happens. Sadly men are more visually led than us and this seems a pretty steady psychological fact, maybe making their coupling with younger women seem a more natural matching, given this fact, whereas people see young men with older women and cannot fathom the reasons (women are usualoly more romantic than men so the 'tru love' thing doesn't leap into most minds when faced with men in their twenties). I personaly wouldn't allow myself to fall for someone younger from another country as i d be too worried of the likely risk, but i d never dare to tell my friend to do the same, and she seems happy enough with her life anyway. For those who judge, its a cruel and poitnless effort to do so. Let these women try and if it does fail, that'll be excruciating enough without a whole hoard of 'I told you so's' as a chorus line in the background.

I am marrying a man twenty years older than me, so a little off topic. he says people may even judge That in the U.S, but then I AM 37 so old enough to know my own mind, not someone in their twenties who has yet to grow fully into themselves. I don't think I m alone when I say that I didn't really fully know what I wanted from life or who I wanted until I was at least twenty five (for that amongst other reasons my marriage at 21 broke up). But I have a very good friend who makes a point of only dating guys from holiday romances. She's 48 (but looks very good for it) and her youngest so far has been 28. Admittedly none of them seem to last once they are in the country but you know what she says 'Love IS a lottery anyway and at least I'm having fun in the meantime.' She doesn't care about the naysayers who tell her they look for older women because they are more grateful and willing to bring them over and ultimately that IS a very hurtful and nasty thing to say to anyone, older women are targeted for many reasons, and often so too are older men. I consider myself lucky that my fiance and I both come from privileged countries and so the thought that we are in a marriage of convenience (he gets youth/I get a better lifestyle and opportunities) will I hope never occur. Yes it's a big age difference but you cannot help who you fall in love with. Besides, I think this big an age difference once the youngest is in their thirties isn't SO much to write home about! When I look at my fiance, I simply see the man I love and I'd have loved him whether he lived here, me there, or both of us cast across opposing sides of the ocean. That said, I know for a fact that if I were from a struggling country or one not so privileged he'd not have been so ready to believe in the genuine nature of my feelings and certainly would have protected himself by not allowing or entertaining it to grow into a relationship....perhaps it's this same thought that motivates those more judgmental people. My friend has had to suffer the degradation of being pitied for her romancing younger foreign men, I think it's wholeheartedly unfair...if guys can do so (and lest face it, they understand the arrangements when they visit these sites) then why can't women, and why can't women genuinely actually fall in love too with younger men? Someday the world will even out from men being praised for such behaviour and women being ridiculed. After all, look at Demi moore and Ashton Kutcher and everybody said they wouldn't last but they have.

Thanks guys, no layover needed though. My fiance, being the sweetheart he is, wants to leave nothing to chance so is driving all that way to collect us from Atlanta...no second plane required ad no faffing about with missed connecting flights

A couple of people asked if I could get clarification from the Embassy over exactly What they require for the above, so here is what I was told.

I am posting this in the London forum only as it likely varies consulate to consulate.

I have two children I intend to move to the States with. One is my fifteen year old daughter and the other, my twelve year old son. The two cases are a little different so I'll briefly give the context of each, hopefully this information will be of some use to someone as the websites give little clarity to what the custodial requirements are. Naturally, it might vary case to case but they seemed pretty affirmative about what was and was not needed (spoke with two Embassy workers about this).

Twelve year old: Still see's his father regularly but his father and I were never married so there was never any shared parental responsibility. Had a letter (not notarised) simply stating he knew of my wishes and would not object. he'd typed the letter and signed it. My solicitor had written to him later to confirm that we had the letter and if it was NOT his signature he had fourteen days to contest the letter my firm had been supplied with or we'd take it it was fine and standing. When my solicitor did not hear back he sent ME a letter confirming my sons father had indeed NOT responded. We opted to take the action of if you DO NOT do anything, that is confirmation, as he was reluctant to be honest to sign anything in the first place. he and I don't get on and naturally noone one is thrilled to have their child leave the country. As he had always said 'tell your solicitor to back off....signing once should be all thats required of me'. He was happy (ish) to furnish us with the first letter for his son's sake, but really I could not have expected him to happily accompany me to a solicitors to have it sworn, there is a violent history there and he flips quite quickly so I try and have as little to do with him as possible. It was nice he even wrote the first letter.

Fifteen year old: I was married to her father so he technically has joint parental responsibility. However, he has not seen her for twelve years and does not pay maintenance. My solicitor wrote to him twice asking permission. On the second time of asking he unhelpfully just slammed his signature down onto the foot of the letter with no further explanation and sent it to my solicitor. My solicitor seemed happy enough with this.

I wasn't particulary happy with either response as neither was notarised. SO, I swore an affidavit and had THAT notarised. the affidavit stated the reasons why it would be unwise to pursue further official confirmation from either (difficult past relationships) and swore that neither child had

a)outstanding custody cases

b)any objection themselves to moving

c)a situation where the father had not been duly infomred of our intentions and also given ample time to contest it.

At the head of the affadavit I listed the childrens details/passport no. etc. MUST GET IT NOTARISED as it isn't official enough. They seemed to like that it was sworn.

When it came time for the interview they did not question my fifteen year old AT ALL on any of this, which they could have done as she was stood there and old enough to be interviewed. I presented them with ALL correspondance from my solicitor showing efforts had been made to get agreements from the fathers. I gave them the signatures of the fathers and the public notary document. I asked them what the requirements actually were for removing children to America and he said this (well, both officers I spoke to confirmed this):

ALL WE NEED IS TO SEE PROOF THAT THE FATHERS KNOW AND DON'T MIND, THESE SIGNATURES ARE JUST FINE WITH THE SUPPORTING DOCUMENTS AND AFFIDAVIT, ITS JUST SO AS WE KNOW SOME CUSTODIAL CASE OR OTHER WON'T CROP UP ONCE YOU'VE LEFT.

Really hope this is of some help to someone as right up until the interview I was so, so, so worried about whether this could trip me up as I didn't have full custody of one of them and neither father had a public notary witness the document they DID sign. But we WERE approved and with no eyebrows raised regarding the seemingly complex situation of custody and the odd format of consent from the fathers (especially with the one with parental responsibility just sticking his signature down on the solicitors letter!)

Oh, I hadn't noticed your posting for us above, very sweet It was horrendous at the Embassy, our file was 'stuck' in the computer and we were the last folks there. Thought it was all going to go pear shaped, but once they saw us they were brilliant and they zapped those visa's to us pretty quickly too.The children and I fly out on the 6th January x

I'm glad to report they were great with us. They deliver the Visa two working days after the interview, knocked loudly, no hassle, but yes, just a normal 'about town' car with an ununiformed courier lady.

Thanks! It was so damned fast ONCE they said yes. Approval on Friday, Visas in hand on Tuesday Now we wait until the 6th when we fly to Atlanta! x

I'm going through Atlanta, I ll definitely report back but given our concerns about connecting flights, my loving fiance is driving to Atlanta from Knoxville to pick us up and make the whole process easier

Thanks for the replies. Three hours seems a fair bet. Anyojne happen to know (long shot) which airports proccess most efficiently...I guess there're a lot of variables, but are any to avoid entirely?

Hi everyone. I'm booking flights with my K1 visa and after I ve enetered the States I ll need to take another flight to my final destination. One question...how long a layover should I be looking for, how long does handover of visa documents etc take? I'm asking for myself and my two children who are travelling with me....all help and experience gratefully received

Okay, so after speakng to the Io at the embassy, NO letter of intent (renewed) is needed. he said if a few more months had gone by then perhaps but not for our case; seven months CMoore....I didn't sleep...well, I had about an hours worth and onehelluva day there but we WERE approved! the relief has made the stress and wait well worth it!!

I am posting this in the London forum only as it likely varies consulate to consulate.

I have two children I intend to move to the States with. One is my fifteen year old daughter and the other, my twelve year old son. The two cases are a little different so I'll briefly give the context of each, hopefully this information will be of some use to someone as the websites give little clarity to what the custodial requirements are. Naturally, it might vary case to case but they seemed pretty affirmative about what was and was not needed (spoke with two Embassy workers about this).

Twelve year old: Still see's his father regularly but his father and I were never married so there was never any shared parental responsibility. Had a letter (not notarised) simply stating he knew of my wishes and would not object. he'd typed the letter and signed it. My solicitor had written to him later to confirm that we had the letter and if it was NOT his signature he had fourteen days to contest the letter my firm had been supplied with or we'd take it it was fine and standing. When my solicitor did not hear back he sent ME a letter confirming my sons father had indeed NOT responded. We opted to take the action of if you DO NOT do anything, that is confirmation, as he was reluctant to be honest to sign anything in the first place. he and I don't get on and naturally noone one is thrilled to have their child leave the country. As he had always said 'tell your solicitor to back off....signing once should be all thats required of me'. He was happy (ish) to furnish us with the first letter for his son's sake, but really I could not have expected him to happily accompany me to a solicitors to have it sworn, there is a violent history there and he flips quite quickly so I try and have as little to do with him as possible. It was nice he even wrote the first letter.

Fifteen year old: I was married to her father so he technically has joint parental responsibility. However, he has not seen her for twelve years and does not pay maintenance. My solicitor wrote to him twice asking permission. On the second time of asking he unhelpfully just slammed his signature down onto the foot of the letter with no further explanation and sent it to my solicitor. My solicitor seemed happy enough with this.

I wasn't particulary happy with either response as neither was notarised. SO, I swore an affidavit and had THAT notarised. the affidavit stated the reasons why it would be unwise to pursue further official confirmation from either (difficult past relationships) and swore that neither child had

a)outstanding custody cases

b)any objection themselves to moving

c)a situation where the father had not been duly infomred of our intentions and also given ample time to contest it.

At the head of the affadavit I listed the childrens details/passport no. etc. MUST GET IT NOTARISED as it isn't official enough. They seemed to like that it was sworn.

When it came time for the interview they did not question my fifteen year old AT ALL on any of this, which they could have done as she was stood there and old enough to be interviewed. I presented them with ALL correspondance from my solicitor showing efforts had been made to get agreements from the fathers. I gave them the signatures of the fathers and the public notary document. I asked them what the requirements actually were for removing children to America and he said this (well, both officers I spoke to confirmed this):

ALL WE NEED IS TO SEE PROOF THAT THE FATHERS KNOW AND DON'T MIND, THESE SIGNATURES ARE JUST FINE WITH THE SUPPORTING DOCUMENTS AND AFFIDAVIT, ITS JUST SO AS WE KNOW SOME CUSTODIAL CASE OR OTHER WON'T CROP UP ONCE YOU'VE LEFT.

Really hope this is of some help to someone as right up until the interview I was so, so, so worried about whether this could trip me up as I didn't have full custody of one of them and neither father had a public notary witness the document they DID sign. But we WERE approved and with no eyebrows raised regarding the seemingly complaex situation of custody and odd forms from the fathers (especially with the one with paretal responsibility just sticking his signature down on the solicitors letter!)

This sounds awful....surely the Embassy ought to be using a decent courier service with secuirty form pick up to delivery. I'm frankly a little bit perturbed to read this, given how much the porcess costs us to GET the visa in time And money. Fingers crossed they'll actually deliver tomorrow. I'm sure they will if you've chased it up.

I know, I head for London tomorrow A weird feeling of peace has descended!!

Five months I would say. Ours was four, btu that was unexpected...guess we got lucky, fingers crossed you do too but you have to factor the holiday in.

I have to admit, I've been jealous of you all who got approved so fast with your NOA2. We applied mid May. Well, we just got our NOA2 approved today!!!! It was like that feeling you get as a child at Christmas. We are so happy!! My baby is coming to me.

The only thing is, I feel bad for all the men of Russia. I am taking the most beautiful girl in that country away from there!

I love you so much my dear Yulia.

Jonathan

Congratulations! now the fun stuff really begins

Many congratulations to you two

Thanks cmoore25- how's yours going??

If you're short sighted DON'T forget your galsses!! I did in London and got told off for it when it came time to take the sight test! Good luck

Not wishing to sound like a killjoy but you have to put yourself in the postion of an immigration officer. I don't know your background story but it seems you've not yet met but you repeatedly say you love her? To an IO this might seem a little forced. This CAN happen, falling in love over a distance, I felt very much in love with my fiance before we met, but we'd been online friends for over a year and would not admit our feelings nor make real plans until we met as marriage is a serious business. For this reason, if you have NOT met in person yet, I would advise Not getting engaged until you DO meet. To an immigration officer that might look a bit suspicious and unnecessarily hurried. Not only that, but meeting someone can make a world of difference. I knew a couple who were 'involved' virtually for a couple of years, they then met and found they had zero chemistry. tread carefully and do things right,....there is really no rush.

The online system NEVER worked for us throughout three months, then in the fourth month it suddenly read 'case processed'. Try not to worry, it sounds like normal service to me! My fiance (USC) rang USCIS one day to ask about this and they nonchalently said 'Oh yeah, that never works' LOL! If you have any deep concerns I'd ring them and ask for Tier Two service...not sure what that means but my fiance mentioned something about having to ask for that to get to speak to someone who actually could find the file on their system?

Good luck!! What an amazing thing to share together.....the sketch and caption book..I like that idea a lot!

Well there's no way he could get it here by Tbursday when I leave anyway so I'll have to assume

a) They don't need it and

b) I already sent what I DID have off with packet three. I know I included extra srtuff in there like a third spare copy of the i134, someone else said they'd done that and felt it had sped things up once at the Embassy. It was no hassle to do and shows we are financially sorted and we certainly did hear back about our interview literally within two days of them opening packet three.

thanks everyone for the help, I ll post back if it proved to be a problem for anyone else's interest. It certainly doesn't forewarn you to take one on the Embassy's 'required documents' list.

Simple. She wants to be the most important in your life. She should be. But you just told her books are more important and student loans are more important and tuition is more important.

It's a two way street. I want MY fiance (the USC) to feel like the most important person in MY world (he is, outside of my children) so I insist he does NOT come to the interview and add undue stress on finances. I'd LOVE him to be there, I miss him like crazy but I can do this myself...he already does enough. I think it's only fair the OP expects some support as it seems he is responsible for giving all of the rest of the support (financial and so on) to the beneficiary. it's NOT too much to ask and would make me, as the petitioner, question my fiancees intentions, were she not factoring in my feelings or concerns. It would be different if it seemed she was doing all she could, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Not saying that this is an intentional state of affairs but one Might think there'd be Some gratitude at best, recognition at worst, of this fact.

One day you will have a heart attack and then have to have bypass surgery and if you live through it you will wake up and your WIFE and children will be there and the nurses will tell you that you have a remarkable wife and she has been sleeping in your bed with you since you have been "out" for nearly two days and refused to leave when they told her she couldn;t do that because she said "this is my husband and I sleep with my husband" and your boys have come from all over the country and half-way round the world. If you are lucky and you have made them number 1 in your life.

This seems a bit wildly irrelevant. I don't think his finishing his degree means he will end up childless and alone lol! They are both young and have no need to have that desperate clawing at a relationship for the sake of having someone there to nurse you. He has a right to be number one in Her life too.

Or...you could buy books.

Or....he could do both. he is not leaving her, just pacing their relationship.

FYI I did go to our interview and did not wait to be asked, I just planned on it from the start.

That's down to personal choice and finances, by no means is it commonplace. If he says he can barely afford to live as it is and she is unable/unwilling to find work or complete her nursing examinations then I think it is a bit one sided if you ask me. She is not even willing to provide understanding or patience whilst he gets it in the proverbial neck for not making a flight over to join her for something she can easily do alone. It seems it IS all he is asking of her after all. maybe the fiancee ought to think about all he IS doing for her/paying for her and not the one thing he falls short (in her opinion) on- a flight to attend the interview he does not need to be at. I think it's unfair to make him feel bad for not attending, he IS paying for it after all, shouldn't THAT be proof enough of his commitment?