Fetaria

June 8, 2006

Coming from Canada as well, my divorce took a long while to be finalized. They don't seem to do the drive through weekend divorces there. We had been separated though, so while my husband (fiance at the time) and I waited on the divorce to be final we organised the paper work for the visa. We were ready to submit the moment the divorce decree came through so we sent it all in within days after. As long as you have proof that the father of your children consents to you taking them out of country you should be fine. No questions came up for us about the appearance of a quick turn around in marriage until the AOS interview. She caught the dates and asked how long we knew each other before we divorced from our first marriages. We answered honestly and she was fine with that. The main thing at this point is to show you are both legal to wed and your intention is to do so. Good luck to you.

June 8, 2006

Michelle.. we want you here :yes: so no stepping out please.

I understand people not understanding and I am ok with it but would encourage them to have some empathy. I think often the first reaction is that we are all unconcerned with our children and off to start a new life. Let me tell you.. that thinking could not be further from the truth. I did not leave my son alone... he is with his father, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, his friends.. he is surrounded by love there and here. Me taking him away from his dad at this point in his life was not the best choice. Possibly the critics would suggest we stay put, be neighbours with our ex spouses until the children are grown. Wouldn't it be handy if the world was that small.

I keep making this point and I will keep making this point... I see more distance between some parents and children living in the same houses as I have seen between these parents who do not live close to their children!!!

For those who come here, like I do, for support and understanding.. as well as to just see how you and your children are doing... don't let the nay-sayers deter you. I do not let ignorance upset me. Whatever choice you make in life.. it is made and you are wasting time in dwelling over if it was the right one or not. We are given one life and we play an important part of our children's lives no matter how or where we do it. Your happiness does wonders for them so although raising children takes sacrifices of sorts.. it does not mean sacrafice yourself entirely. The meaning gets lost if you do and they will be no better for it.

I believe whole-heartidly that the love of a parent for a child has no boundries, it crosses time and sometimes oceans. Our children are loved and they know it. I wonder if those parents in bold I talk about express their love as much or if their children feel as cared for? I sure hope so.

June 8, 2006

Sorry to hear this happened.
I just received my Green Card yesterday and the dates are wrong on it

So now I have to send the dang thing back with the I-90.

Seems like there making alot of mistakes on peoples cards.

The good news for me is I have the stamp in my passport from my interview.

Good luck

I wish they woulda done the same for me, stamp my passport at the time of the interview. When they didn't I thought no big deal since I would be getting my green card soon. They didn't even ask to see my passport! Such inconsistancy on every level of this process. What is interesting about all these mistakes on the cards is how we are expected to make sure EVERY little detail is correct. I know for us, we spent hours verifying information to avoid RFE's and still got one during the Visa stuff. When I saw the mistake on the greencard I wanted to draw up my own RFE for them telling them they had 30 days to submit correct information to me or suffer the consequences. :whistle: Now I have no idea what those consequences would be as I seem to work for them rather than them for me.. but it still sounded like fun.

June 8, 2006

Yea, unfortunately we decided to save some money and didn't apply for an AP or EAD for me at the time. I may go in for an infopass to get a stamp in my passport in case I need to travel.

Frustrating is that I was unable to get my Social Security card, they told me to come back once I had my green card. Every turn I make I am asked for one so I was hopeful to get it soon. Do you think the welcome letter would be suffice for that? I might try it. Always have so much fun at the Social Security office :lol:

And yes I am grateful to have the approval. It is just kinda like being given this long awaited gift for Christmas... knowing it was coming.. opening it and it is the wrong size.

My husband is irrate. He is writing letters and who knows what all. Angry that we paid so much money in prossessing fees for this to have it prossessed wrong. We understand a typo, we are all only human. But to have to prove ourselves all over again, submit more forms and to be put on hold even longer is what is upsetting. They have piles of paperwork with me marked as a "F" and crazy amounts of passport pictures of me by now.. yet here we are sending more to prove it their mistake.

June 8, 2006

Name--------------Sent I-90------Arrived-------Sent to-----Reason--------------NOA------------New card

Hotairguy---------------?--------------?------------NSC------wrong name-------04/18/05--------------?

Dano--------------------?--------------?--------------?--------wrong sex--------------?--------------02/16/06

Aussie_Rachel-----10/13-05-----10/17/05------NBC-----wrong country------None------------02/14/06

Jpatter123---------11/02/05-----11/15/05------CSC-----wrong sex----------11/23/05--------02/10/06

Steffi----------------11/30/05----12/06/05-------CSC-----wrong photo-----------?--------------02/27/06 file "closed" -"didn't" receive RFE that they did receive

Kezzie--------------12/20/05-----12/21/05------NBC------no card-------------02/03/06 refiled-had to pay fee

Atlantis-------------12/31/05-----12/31/06------MSC(Efile)-lost card---------01/03/05-------------????

Kearinne-----------01/18/06-----01/19/06------CSC------wrong sex---------02/03/06---------03/24/06 RFE

marknir-------------01/31/06-----02/03/06------CSC------wrong country----03/27/06---------05/17/06

Kezzie (refiled)---02/03/06---------------------------------------------------------02/13/06--------------?

Debra&John-------02/13/06-----02/15/06-------MSC-----wrong photo------03/18/06----------03/27/06

Aline---------------------?---------------?--------------?--------wrong name----------?--------------------?

Nushagak27-----------?---------------?--------------?--------wrong date-----------?---------------??/??/06

Charles------------03/06/06---------------------------------- wrong name --------------------------------------

Silver---------------03/06/06-----03/07/06-------NBC-----wrong date---------04/14/06---------04/27/06

Steffi (refiled)-----03/07/06-----03/09/06-------MSC-----wrong photo---------N/A-------------04/05/06 RFE

silent-whispers---04/25/06-----04/28/06-------TSC------wrong name----------------------------------------

Fetaria-------------06/08/06-----------------------MSC------wrong sex----------------------------------------

June 7, 2006

If we were selfish we would of done whatever it took to bring our children with us, with no care of how it would affect them. Some of us decided to not drag our children through dirty custody battles, some believe that their children are better off where they are for the time being for whatever reason. Some are here dong what they can to create a situation so they can bring their children eventually. Too many ways to show how these were the most unselfish acts.

June 7, 2006

I am working on the I-90 form now and have a question about part 3 Processing information. It asks for the USCIS office where the status was adjusted. Would this be where we went for the AOS interview? Or are they talking about the Missouri service center that has been processing this case? I was so done with forms and paperwork :angry:

June 7, 2006

I see my 10 yr old daughter for Spring Breaks, All Summer breaks, All ThanksGivings, and All Christmas Breaks.She will however be legally allowed to move here in 2 yrs. without her Bio Dads consent.
In fact.... Were going to pick her up July3rd and we can't wait !

In regards to the comment made about Dr. Laura... Well , Dr. Laura isn't in my position and until she is, I don't give a flying Rats ### what the pompous chick thinks.

My daughter has a much better relationship with my new Hubby then she ever had, or ever will have with her Bio Dad.

Children aren't stupid, they know whats going on. My daughter is well aware that the only reason she is still in Canada and not with me is becuase her Bio Dad recinded his permission, 2 weeks before our Immigration Interview Date.

He may have won the battle but her sure as hell hasn't won the War!

2 weeks before! How awful is that. Must of been hard for her to think she was moving and then not. You are right about children not being stupid, I think they have a better understanding about things than we do at times. They dont worry about the details or complicate it like us adults tend to do. July 3rd is just around the corner. :yes:

June 6, 2006

This last post opens up a whole nother can of worms and I do not want to deter from the support system we got going here. The doctor laura statement ( I dont know who that is ) is a valid point. However I disagree if it is to say we have not put our children first. Those who have left an abusive relationship and not stayed put in order to keep the family together "for the children", I believe have put their children first. I also have to disagree with the point of not subjecting children to new relationships until they are 18. The relationship my husband has with my daughter (his step daughter) has been beneficial on so many levels for her. She has the male role model that she needs in her life. From the PM's I have recieved along with the posts here I see many parents making their children their number one priorites. That said, I see many .. many.. families living together neglecting their children and not giving a rats ### about them or what is going on in their lives. Not appreciating what they have and wasting the time they share. In an ideal world we would meet mister or mrs right the first time. Obviously it doesnt always work that way. As lonely as I get for my son I am confident knowing he has the best of both worlds, he is loved more than he could possibly imagine and he will grow up well rounded. Give me this so called Dr Laura's phone number.. I would love to chat with her.

June 6, 2006

Put your head before your heart and decide what is best for the kids. No matter how far you live from them they will not feel one ounce of abandonment if you work to ensure they don't. It is not easy, I did not know just how not easy it would be.

Fetaria - I'm not exactly in the same situation as you, but still in a quandry of "head before your heart". My husband moved here from England. He can't find a job as an engineer here as he doesn't have a BS. He has been looking for a job since January. We are having to look outside our city, actually outside our state for jobs he had experience in back in England (subsea work). I have 14-year-old boy/girl twins. My ex lived only a mile down the road from me so even though my daughter lives with me and my son with his dad, I saw him often and my ex saw my daughter often. My kids have been born and raised in the city we live in and have gone to the same school district. My daughter told me that if my husband and I have to move, she would not go with me because she wouldn't want to leave her school, friends, school softball (that she has played since 5), big sister (age 20), etc. It kinda broke my heart, but again, you said what is best for the child. Well her dad moved last month and is renting a smaller house outside the school district, and if we moved, he would have to move back to the school district and get a bigger house. He already struggles with money as he is on disability. She gets along okay with her dad, but better with me, and he is not into her ball as I am and has only been to about 2 games this year out of 40.

Of course this is all premature as we don't even know if we are moving, but its more of a possibility than not. I too would be heartbroken, not just becaues of my youngest daughter, but because of moving away from my son and oldest daughter too that I see a couple times a week. Again, I know she wouldn't want to move, but how do I make her feel the decision is not picking my husband over her? It has to do with money and a job my husband would love. We are barely surviving on my income alone. Thanks Fetaria.

What a hard decision for you. Good to be thinking it through beforehand even not knowing for sure yet. I spent a lot of time discussing that very thing with my kids. How this was not me choosing anyone over them. They are my number one priority always. Although they may not see it now, as adults they will understand that I had to do what I did to create a happy secure life for myself, as well as them. They have family who love them stretching over to countries now. Twice as many grandparents and siblings to love. Honestly, the deciding factor for me was. I wanted to set the example for them. I wanted them to know they are in charge of their own happiness. The thought of either of them sacrificing years of their life as adults in unhappiness scared me. I did not want to stay put and unhappy for the next decade just to have them as adults say.. Mom? what the hell were you thinking? Why didnt you leave? Us as parents have to see the big picture and make the decisions based on that. Good luck with the changes in your life. It will all turn out as it should :yes:

June 6, 2006

I have to get to class but am anxious to get back and read all your posts. I did get a hold of the USCIS finally this morning so we will have to get all our stuff together to prove I am not a man now. In filling out the chart here, is the Missouri service center's code MSC? I will fill in more once I have more.. this headache is all just starting for us.

June 6, 2006