AKSinghSingh79

I checked the mail today and he got approved. They definitely received the letter so I guess they just decided to approve him?

On April 4, 2017 at 8:44 PM, Damara said:

Im glad you posted back with an update! Im just sorry that it wasnt a more positive one.. It sounds like from what you said that your husband is being a bit petty in the divorce. I dont know what kind of issues he has- but whatever they are he is willing to let them be an issue and put himself in the position of having to pay for an attny to help him with the ROC process through the courts at the end of the day. So I guess its a case of who can hold out the longest

Yeah I'm not really sure why. He says he consulted with an immigration attorney and they told him by me sending the letter, he would have to wait another year before his card is approved and issued. That seems bogus to me. 

Regardless, me sending the letter seems to have caused a delay as I have seen many March 2016 filers get approved. 

Our court date is June 5 for the divorce so right around the corner. Another waiting game as to see what happens on the immigration front. 

Hey everyone, I just wanted to give an update on my situation. I filed for divorce in February and made an InfoPass appointment with my local field office with the intent to hand them the letter. In the letter I requested that I be removed from the petition. When I spoke to the IO, he kept insisting that I could not withdraw the petition. I explained to him that it's still pending and he said it didn't matter. So that was a wasted trip. I still mailed the letter to VSC with an attachment of my dissolution of marriage form.

No response yet but we will see what happens. My divorce court date is not until June which I believe would not be enough time to respond to the RFE. But, fortunately CT allows you to waive the waiting period if you and your spouse reach an agreement. Unfortunately my soon to be ex refuses to settle with me even after I explained to him exactly what could happen if he delays.

Thank you so much for your reply. I guess I could see how my statements would seem to cancel each other out. What I mean is, I do still have empathy for my ex-husband and don't want to complicate his immigration status but I also want to move on with my life. I see how withdrawing my petition would only complicate matters. 

Assuming he does get an interview request, I guess we will discuss that when the time comes. 

2 hours ago, Hypnos said:

 

Incorrect. For a joint I-751, like this one, one or both parties can withdraw their consent to the application. For RoC, both parties are the petitioners; that's why it's called a joint petition. 

Thanks for the clarification. I was thinking the same thing while reading the memo. I can't withdraw the petition yet as we haven't filed for divorce yet but I will once I do. So is there any kind of formal way to withdraw a petition? Would a simple letter be enough? 

9 hours ago, charmander said:

https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/USCIS/Laws/Memoranda/Static_Files_Memoranda/2009/i-751_Filed_ Prior_Termination_3apr09.pdf

Thank you for the link, very helpful!!

So what would happen if he happens to receive an RFE or an interview request at this point? Like I said in my original post, I do want to help him but not in a dishonest way. I would gladly help him if he needed to prove we entered the marriage in good faith but I already told him I would not be attending the interview because we are no longer a couple. 

1 minute ago, NuestraUnion said:

No. He can file on his own. How far along is the ROC? 

The petition was filed in March 2016 at VSC. According to USCIS, they are currently processing December 2015 petitions. 

Just now, F1H1I130 said:

You can't withdraw the petition, it's not yours. For ROC, the immigrant is the petitioner.

I see, so it would be up to him to withdraw the petition? Would we have to be legally divorced first?

Hi VJ Community,

As unbelievable as it is for me to say this, my husband and I are getting a divorce. I'm the USC, FYI. It was me who initiated the divorce as our marriage has reached my limit of tolerance. I did everything I could to save it, talking to him, going to see a marriage counselor, but he didn't bother attending the sessions. I asked him to move out last summer and him and I have been separated since August 2016.

This is coming at a terrible time, as it is right in the middle of ROC. I filed his paperwork for him back in March 2016 and it's still processing at VSC. My question is what do I do now? Should I withdraw the petition? No divorce paperwork has been filed yet as my (ex) husband is not cooperating. He's afraid it will affect his immigration status. I know there is a waiver for divorce but how does that affect a pending petition? I do want to help him but I'm certainly not going to lie and say we are still a happily married couple. 

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.  

In regards to the State ID we looked into that already and the DMV said they couldn't issue one because his GC must be valid for 6 months or more.

Also the reason we only have bank statements from 6 months is that we opened a new account in Aug, and prior to that we had another account with the same financial institution. I have had that account since I was 14 so when I opened it, my mom was a joint owner. I never took her off the account even after my husband was added. The bank statements only lost my name and my mom's because there is not enough room for a third name. I think I may have solved this though as my credit union is going to write a letter on my behalf explaining why my husband's name is absent.

Honestly all of this is so complicated because of our moves and job changes. We never got monthly health premium statements so copies of health insurance cards will have to suffice.

Good call on the PoA and living will though. I will included these things as well as my life insurance policy.

I'm a little nervous about my husband's ROC package and whether or not it will contain enough evidence.

So far we have:

Joint Bank account statements (last 6 months)

2013 and 2014 joint tax returns

joint lease

Health insurance cards showing joint policy

photos of us together

Joint credit card

Copies of itineraries from trips we have taken together in the last 2 years

What I'm concerned about is we moved twice in the last 2 years and most of the evidence we are submitting is recent. The joint lease is from the apartment we are currently renting. Our last lease didn't list my husband as a lease holder because I signed the lease before his CR-1 was approved and he moved over here. We also lived with my parents for about 6 months when I lost my job. He doesn't drive yet so he is not listed on my auto insurance policy or my vehicle title. I also handle most of the bills in the household so only my name is listed on the statements.

Is there anything else we can add to bulk up this evidence? Thanks!

My husband and I are very frustrated as neither of us can find this irritating ELIS number that is supposed to be filled out on the I-751 application form.

Hubby couldn't remember his password so we tried password recovery and he never received any email. I then tried to create a new account but that did nothing either as the account system says I must create a new case and the only option it gives me when I click on the link is
"Application to Replace Permanent Resident Card". We tried calling USCIS and they told us all of the same information (create new account, password recovery, etc.) and we don't what else to do.

What is the worst case scenario for mailing this form out with the ELIS account info blank? We only have a little over a month before hubby's GC expires so we need to get this thing in the mail ASAP.

Hi everyone! Just checking in here. Very excited to see so many approvals and I'm very glad this thread has been helpful for many. I know that when I first began the process for my husband, it was very intimidating.

But here we are, 2 years later getting ready to file for ROC! Although we are not exactly thrilled about paying another exorbitant processing fee, it is a relief to know that after this, we can breathe easy and not have to worry about anyone examining our relationship through a microscope.

Good luck to anyone currently in any stage of their processing!

We will be sending our package out by next weekend.

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone! I really like the HVAC, electrician, skilled trades suggestions. I've bounced all of these ideas off of my husband and he seems excited that there are so many opportunities for him.
Now that his weekends will be free, I plan on getting him involved with more social activities. In India, he was always surrounded by people and I can understand how lonely he must feel. It's been a tough year transitioning for him but I'm confident that he can get through this

We had a heart to heart today. He decided to resign from his job. I mentioned going to school for a skilled trade and he said he would consider it.

He is tired of the long hours, weekend schedules and low pay. He told me he's afraid to enter into a new trade because he will most likely be surrounded by Americans and he is embarrassed of his English. He has no reason to be. He has excellent proficiency in English and most people can understand him just fine. His weakness is writing which I am working with him on. But it's a step in the right direction. I am going to keep an eye out for job fairs and we will be looking at certification programs after the holidays.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

As an update, my husband got his learner's permit and has been driving with me here and there. We hope to have a second vehicle by the spring.

As for the work/life balance, things haven't improved much. I have been working long hours on the weekdays and he of course works every weekend so sadly we don't see each other much. When we do spend time together, he is moody and tired. He still has this overwhelming desire to join the National Guard. He has been unable to pass the ASVAB yet but he studies every day and is determined to keep trying. I admit, I am a bit disappointed he has his heart set on joining. He never mentioned joining the military before he got here, now all of the sudden it's his "dream".

All I want is to see him more and be able to spend our weekends together. He misses out on everything because of his job. He loves soccer but is unable to join a league because they play on weekends. We haven't taken any vacations because it's so tough for him to take time off. He missed every single festival this past summer because of work. We live by the beach and didn't go a single time together, again because of work.

He's been looking for other jobs but I know any cooking job will be the same with long weekend hours. I brought up a career change and school again but he cited costs in addition to his age.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I think his end goal is to join the National Guard and make a career out of that. I'm very nervous about this path and know I will probably see him less if he gets accepted.

Not many people understand my husband either. It's a combination of his accent and the syntax he uses to speak. He still speaks using the Indian English way which is adverse to using past or future tense, i.e. "I am going there tomorrow most probably." Or "I am calling them from last so many days but they are not picking my phone."

It's funny that some of you mentioned dialects in the native language carrying over to English.

The part of India my husband is from speaks a dialect of Hindi that completely omits the "za" sound and replaces it with "ja". Bazaar becomes bajaar. He omits the za sound in English too coming up with gems such as "jipper", "jebra" and "joo".

In regards to driving, you also have to keep in mind in addition to never driving a car before, my husband has also been conditioned to drive on the left side of the road (he has driven motorcycles in India).

I would really like to hear from other members from the UK or other countries where driving is done on the left to get an idea of how difficult it was to get used to driving on the right.

The first time I used the word fortnightly Chelsea laughed and said I talked like an 80 year old man hahahah

I also thought that people writing cheques was weird. Given the level of fraud and likelihood of the cheque getting lost, I would have thought internet banking would be bigger. Blew my mind when I found out you still have to write a cheque AND deliver it to certain water companies and such.

Our apartment community charges $25 to pay your rent online while writing a check and hand delivering it to the office is free.

I don't know why anyone would waste $25 just for the convenience. It's absurd that they even charge that ridiculous fee.

You guys live in Omaha, NE? I know an interracial couple over there, guy is from Delhi. I can give his contact, Kirpal might enjoy his company. Hope you guys do great!

RnS

Thanks for the offer but we actually live in Northeast Ohio. (Sorry I'm so used to writing northeast as NE)

This sounds like poor work-life balance compounded by culture shock.

Has he tried to approach the owners to see if they're hiring?

You mentioned that he stayed one year in the UK and US, but the current situation isn't quite the same, because there's no end-point and therefore no reprieve (unless he creates an end-point of his own). This is his life now and it's coming to terms with that fact that is probably making him depressed.

I've known people who joined the National Guard and it's not really a full-time occupation for most, though there may some full-time roles available. So he may find himself continuing his present position and then have National Guard commitments on top of that, making his work-life balance even worse. I also suspect that he might not find the sense of belonging and "fit" that he is probably looking for and therefore joining up will not help his depression.

I suggest that you both set a deadline of March 2015. That will be his one-year anniversary of arriving in the US. By that time, if things haven't improved, sit down to discuss and agree on your options together. For example, moving closer to your parents and looking for jobs with work schedules that are more in sync with each other. Until then, all you can do is to keep being there for him and maintaining the lines of communication.

Thank you for giving such a realistic viewpoint on the National Guard. I too fear that his expectations are set too high. He is absolutely joining for acceptance, respect and camaraderie but I doubt it will be as he imagines it. The part time involvement too will put more undue stress on his already limited free time.

I asked him about the Indian restaurant but he told me he refuses to work for other Indians. I will ask him again. The guys he works with now, in my opinion, are not the best sort of people. To put it mildly, they are a bunch of crude drunks. Now there's nothing wrong with going to the pub and having a beer or two but these guys drink until last call and have had parties that rage on all night.

I really hope he finds a new job soon. I am helping him search but not having a second vehicle makes it additionally more challenging.

Thank you for your advice about setting a deadline. I think that's a fantastic idea.

Yes I understood, my post was intended as a jokey suggestion that you could move there so he doesn't have to pump gas.

When my OH left Oregon for the first time he had the same dilemma so I do sympathise!

Hope he feels more settled soon!

Oops sorry! I guess that's what your winking face was meant for! Haha!

I walked him through it the other day and he kept looking at me desperately like "what do I do next?"

He says he's worried he's going to put diesel in by mistake one day! I just keep telling him green is a no go!

Hi AKSinghSingh

Unfortunately my husband is still not here with me but I feel like I may be able to give you some advice. Have you looked up information on culture shock? If you haven't you should do so. Many people think, "ow U.S., everything will be fine." Not really. The U.S. can be quite an adjustment for some, especially coming from that region. Everything is fast paced, you can't put things off like normal, yes means you can actually do something instead of saying yes knowing you really can't but it is polite to say you can even though you can't. hehehehehe

Have you learned any of your husband's language? Have you tried cooking some of his favorite foods? Have you watched cricket with him? It may take some time to get him out of this mood.

Sorry about the National Guard thing. It sounds like this life is smothering him and he just wants to get away. Have you taken him to see a therapist? He may have adjustment depression. Try to work with him.

Thank you for your reply. He has been to the US before and the UK as well (lived for a year in both countries) and didn't seem to have the issues he is having now. I think the reasons behind that are he had Indian roommates/coworkers/friends and he had a great supportive social network. My parents live in Pennsylvania and he really enjoys spending time with them as he feels like he is part of something again. But again, we can only visit on weekends which happens to be the days he works.

I truly think he needs to leave the place he works at currently. What kind of life is it if you are always working and missing out on holidays, time with family and social time?

As for language, cooking and cricket: I speak some Hindi but I know it's not the same for him as speaking to a native. I know how to cook many different Indian dishes and Indian breads. I try to have fresh Indian food ready for him when he comes home from work. We also live next to an Indian restaurant and he said their samosas are delicious and fresh.

I've talked to him about therapy but he seems adverse to the idea.