Blondie-CO

Hi, I am so sorry this has happened to you. Please check out "eLance.com"

I don't know what your job background is exactly, but you can create a free profile and bid on all sorts of private freelance work -including translating, illustrations for childrens' books and IT work. If you know any other languages fluently, it's an easy way make a few bucks

I hope this helps-

Try networking through Computer Science events on MeetUp.com -there are several CS-related MeetUp groups in my area alone. Also try eLance.com -my cousin hires freelance people through this website ALL the time for computer work for her business and even things like making powerpoints for her to use.

Also, search for "language software" and "translation" companies around your area. There should be a few of them especially if you're in a larger city. My husband has found freelance work translating Swedish & product testing. PS... he got this opportunity through an event from MeetUp.com

Network, network, network.

Let him know our empathies are with him. It's a tough position and really hard emotionally and physically for the both of you I know.

Hey -my husband and I started a "Swedish Speakers of Northern Colorado" meet-up group and it's amazing how they all come out of the woodworks

It does cost about $15/month to manage a meetup group, but once you have the network, you can manage events via email etc.

MeetUp.com

My husband is an engineer and some companies have told him straight that they can't hire him because he's not a USC. Most commonly they are working with defense-related technology and government contracts. This is legal. But these positions will usually say "Must be USC" at the bottom of postings. Some will say "Must be USC or legal resident" and others say "Must have (suchnsuch) clearance etc."

It really depends on the job and the company. Details about your position would help.

Hello everyone,

My husband and I have a really enjoyed following some of your blogs! I thought I would share the link to our blog and hope that other post links to theirs as well

My husband moved in March of this year, so the months surrounding March in our blog are where you'll find most of the visa-related entries.

Enjoy! I look forward to discovering more of your blogs!

Johan och Caitlyn Blog

Any Scandinavians in the Denver/Boulder area of Colorado? Let's unite for Fika!

Coupons coupons coupons! Seriously, we save between $25-$35 for every $100 we spend on groceries because of coupons and sales. Also, we "sell" old clothes to stores like Plato's Closet and buy clothes and household items at Goodwill (we also like knowing we're contributing to a good cause).

We live by a strict budget especially since my husband has not found a job in the US yet and we still manage to pay off student loans and increase our savings account each month. Not easy to say "no" to fun dinners with friends, concerts and fun trips, but as Dave Ramsey says, "Now we're living like no other, so one day we can live like no other!"

PS- we do not own a tv (therefore no cable bill), have an old junker car that I paid cash for years ago and have found tons of free things to do around our city for "date nights"...... and we could not be happier

Back to the original post.... my husband arrived in March. He has had his EAD for a few weeks and is beginning the job search. I often got upset with him because he wasn't doing things "the way I would do them" (I'm very forward/direct/proactive, and my husband is more passive/thoughtful/steady). Once I realized this and gave him room to breathe instead of hounding him every day about working on his resume and job hunting, he came around in a way that was just as effective yet comfortable for him, as he is still very much adjusting to living here.

My husband came around and is very active with a local museum & has made good friends. This has impacted his self esteem greatly, which he will need during his job search

I think it would behoove you to have a frank but caring conversation with your husband about his wants, expectations and goals, as well as yours. It sounds like you are not seeing eye to eye on some very important issues (ie, you are upside down on your house, but he wants his own car).

Good luck to you!

PS- my husband also slags the US VERY OFTEN! It's almost a game we have. Once I stopped being so damn defensive of our (yes) many ridiculous laws and American attitudes, I could start to learn a thing or two. It also allows me to slag his country too, without repercussions, hehe

OP, if it's wedding money you're worried about, arrive on the K1 at a later date so you both can work in your home countries and save $ until the big arrival.

My husband and I actually filed for a K1 extension so he could continue at his engineering job in Sweden for a few more weeks. We ended-up just going to the courthouse to get married anyway, and plan to put the saved $ toward school loans (trying to get OUT of debt... not IN debt!) LOL

Good luck!

My husband and I bought a (nice) bread machine at GoodWill for $25 and use it every other day! You know EXACLY what is going in the bread... it fills the house with yummy smells, and even has a "dough" feature so you can bake the dough in the oven for a nice artisinal look/texture. Try it

We live in CO and have Progressive Insurance. They said they will cover "guest dirvers" who take less than 11 one-way trips, but that it is had to prove that the guest driver has driven within the 11 one-way trips especially if they are living with the primary account holder permanently. Get added as SOON as you get your license (my husband got his shortly after he got his SSN). Not only did Progressive give us a $10 rebate for getting married, but my monthly cost DROPPED from $65 to $55!!!

6 of my husband's family members are staying with us in our tiny 1 bedroom apartment for 10 days. 2 of them (his parents) are staying for 4 weeks. WHAT WERE WE THINKING?

I am curious as to how often family stays with you during visits, if it has been a pleasant experience or a nightmare, and if you and you spouse would ever consider doing it again....

Thanks in advance for your thoughts/stories

You're one savvy & smart lady! Before my (now husband) arrived, I too created spreadsheets to forecast the increased expenses. What I found is that we spent about 2.5 times my normal budget (beyond fixed costs like rent) the first month he was here (eating out/cooking fancy/decorating/going to pubs with friends/travel). Since we did not have any kind of wedding, I guess you could say we planned to really enjoy a month long "honeymoon" in our hometown.

Since then, our budget has normalized -everything fits just within my paycheck each month. For recent graduates, we both have relatively healthy savings, so it's nice to not have to dip into them for living purposes until he gets a job.

We chose to not get health insurance for him between his arrival and him getting a job. My insurance through work is $57/month and to add him, it would be $400/month. We are young and healthy and didn't find it necessary to purchase health insurance for him during this state of limbo -but of course he will get it when he gets a job.

I didn't see any significant increase in utilities. My parents were gracious to allow us on their "Verizon family phone plan" so it's literally only about $60/month for both of us for data, minutes and unlimited text.

Including rent, food, insurance, utilities and "fun money" we spend about $2350 every month

Your question has been answered. Good luck

Hi! I just graduated from UCF in May -I live in Colorado now, but enjoy your time in FL. Lake Mary is mostly residential, but you should be able to find many clubs, maybe even some with other stay-at-home Moms who are just as eager to get out! Good Luck

Also, I've found that the jobs are very flexible, unemployment is lower than the Nat. Avg. -people go hiking before coming to work, many (including myself) ride our bikes or walk to work, we have flexible vacation time and can make our own work schedule. I didn't read in the thread where you will be moving to, but perhaps you both can research a place that is more alligned with yuor lifestyle and goals and has career opportunities for you both. Perhaps it's best for you BOTH to experience new things together at the same time

It sounds like you could both use a change of scenery... fresh start

You're right, moving to a different country IS a scary experience! My fiance holds many of the same reservations -and will also be leaving a great job. Many of his/your concerns I think are simply stereotypes about America and definitely depend on where you will be living (religion, violence, politics, guns, lifestyle, education etc). He will be moving to Boulder, CO to be with me, which is more politically alligned with Sweden than the rest of the country, very very low crime, healthiest lifestyle in US and most PhD's per capita (among other incentives). Give it more thought, but my advice it to move to the US until you get citizenship, then you can change decide to move elsewhere, with the possibility of always returning.

Good luck!

I will be married in March -and lets just say it's a good day if I'm not carded TWICE at any restaurant/bar/club. Just yesterday, I was at a nce restaurant with my co-workers.... the waiter was describing the drink menu, then looked straight at me and said that "All of the drinks are also available with no alcohol." My co-workes started laughing, because they know my situation and the waiter was just so blatant, lol.

Firstly, yes you can divorce, and no, no one can make you stay because no crime has been comitted.

However, 5 months is NOT a long time (relatively speaking). From what you say, there is no abuse happening. Have you talked with him to let him know how you're feeling? Perhaps he doesn't realize he's driving you crazy. I know that after being away from my fiance for so long and only picturing him perfectly, sometimes when we're finally together again little things he does drive me nuts. Luckily these are easy to resolve. Have you tried to make friends in your town? I'm sure being pregnant puts added pressure onto the situation. In my opinion (and this is ONLY my opinion), I would stay and try to work it out with your husband -join local Spanish clubs, meet people, make friends, try and build a support network where you live. Finish out the K1 process since you are so close to getting a green card etc -you can always decide to leave afterwards, but at least you will have the option to return to the US if you've gone to Spain to clear your head. As of now, you are married and pregnant -your life is not just about you.

You said you felt unsure about the marriage before you moved to the US. Was your fiance aware of your ambivilance? Because I'm trying to put my place in his position: He petitioned (a lot of time, money and heartache -just like you) to bring you to the US, his wife is now pregnant and considering leaving with the baby to another country. I would assume he would be devastated especially if he didn't know about your ambivilance and thought you were 100% in the relationship from the beginning. Moving back to Spain will NOT make this go away. If you leave without resolving the situation, this will be with you for the next 18 years.

Good luck, I hope you make the right decision

Hey -here's "about" what it costs for "basic" car and health insurance (I am in Boulder, CO) but it should be relatively similar around the US

Car: about $110/month

Health: about $110/month (I just saw an ad in the paper for basic HI for $69 from HumanaOne)

I would budget using these figures. I pay $84/month for car insurance and $89/month for health insurance (medical, dental, vision). Always better to budget too high than too low.

I hope this helps. Chicago is a wonderful city -enjoy!

Peoples' religious and political views can certainly change -they are NOT set at birth. I grew up sheltered in a very catholic conservative family (politically). It was not until I went to college and couch-surfed around Europe (alone) (think Chania, Greece; Bled, Slovenia and Cashel, Ireland... smal towns, not big cities) with no cell phone, credit card or computer.... that is when my views of the world and politics changed.

People get so caught up in their tiny little lives they forget about perspective. It always has to be "white" or "black," "right" or "left." Call me old fashioned, but I swear that turning off cable news for one hour and instead writing back and forth with a pen pal from soemwhere in the world once a week would really change peoples' political and religious views.

I recently moved to Boulder, Colorado. Lots of green, a decently sized downtown and close to "big Denver" for a taste of real city life a couple times a month. It's a very liberal city, with some sort of cultural festival happening almost every week (but oddly enough, it's about 99.9% white people, lol). The unemployment rate here is lower than in the rest of the country and the weather is beautiful -as much sunshine as Florida and still we get all four seasons with plenty of cold weather and snow (but always sunny).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boulder,_Colorado

Boulder is a VERY expensive place to live, but if you can find a job, it will probably pay accordingly. The public transit system is wonderful and cheap and you can pretty much walk out your back door and into the mountains

This is only a guess, but I'm betting that between the fact that you've petitioned and divorced and that your wife seems fuzzy on the details of your relationship, the VO became skeptical (and rightfully so). The interview is your time to PROVE your case! I remember the exact dates, what we did and could probably pinpoint the weather down to the hour of the precious time I've had to visit with my fiance...

I hope you get to re-do your interview and I hope you'll prepare better!

Another suggestion.... because she has a computer but no internet, buy a small flash drive/thumb drive and load it with videos and pictures! Take your camera with you to school or work and out at night with your friends. Take videos and talk to the camera as though you're talking to her. Be goofy, be serious. Mail it to her -she'll love it! If she has a camera, have her clear the flash drive and load it back up with pictures and videos of her own to mail back to you! Keep the mailing the flash drive back a forth a couple times a month with new pictures and videos on it every time

OMG why has no one mentioned http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/ ????

My fiance and I are going on 9 months apart -9 months!!!! We write snail mail weekly and send eachother lists of scavenger hunts (ie. "Take a picture of a pink crayon, a friend, funny sign etc") which we have to then upload the pictures to FB. We play online games and tons of other things together -only he's in Sweden and I'm here in the US. The truth is, yes sometimes we get sad, but since we found that website and we got busy having fun, we don't have much time left to be sad! We also downloaded an Ebook called, "1000 Questions for Couples." This book has challenged us to have serious converstaions about very serious topics that lovestruck new couples would not normally have. We feel better prepared for marriage and for our new life together -we truly think EVERY couple should buy a book like this and ask at least one question every day!

We both work 9-5 jobs, but we still make time to have fun with eachother and OH!!!!! This is important!!!! Make sure you both continue to have a social life outside of Skype! MAKE plans to go out with your friends (respectively). Having a social life outside of eachother is important for your relationship and will definitely make time pass quicker