Idiot Sightings

[Jasman0717 9]

This is an old one, but still worth a chuckle....besides, my old family doctor sent it to me so had to share

Idiot Sightings!!!! Be careful, be v-e-r-y careful....

IDIOT SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears

repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a

"large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we

had the largest one Sears made at that time, a ½ horsepower. He shook his

head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that ½ was

larger than 1/4. He sai d, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two." We

haven't used Sears repair since.

______________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor

call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the

Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by

cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing

anymore." From Kingman , KS

_________ _____________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a

taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He

said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep...From

Kansas City !

___________________ __________

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an

airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without

your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how

would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala .

____________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross

the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of

mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I e xplained that it

signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What

on ea rth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer

inWichita , KS

______________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker: She

was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented

cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word

was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that

deer-in-the-headlights st are. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

__________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back

into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her

system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no

less.

__________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to

pi ck up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to

the service department and fou nd a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the

driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively

tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I

announced to the technician, "Its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got

that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

_______________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was ordering a hot fudge sundae at Sonic the other day. I

told the girl on the speaker box I wanted extra hot fudge for my Sundae.

She said: " Sir, our fudge only comes at one temperature."

STAY ALERT !

They walk among us, they REPRODUCE and they VOTE!!

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

omg! That was funny!

[MissStacey 1]

I don't get it.

[Jasman0717 9]

I don't get it.

[yogib37 3]

HERES your SIGNS

:lol: :lol:

[radsr2002 0]

Idiots at work:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

No brain burger

I had been Christmas shopping. It was past 9 PM, most of the stores had closed and I was tired and hungry. I came across one of the better-known fast food chain restaurants which was still open, but was about to close in 15 minutes. I hurried in and saw, to my dismay, that while the counter and dining room areas were still lit, the entire kitchen area was dark and very empty. I asked the counter girl if I could still get something to eat. She answered that although she couldn't cook me anything, they did have some hamburgers in the warmer. I ordered two hamburgers, plain. The girl grabbed her microphone and said to nobody, "Two Hamburgers, please, plain." Then she walked around to the dark and empty kitchen, took two hamburgers out of the warmer, walked back to the counter and served them to me.

Dumb loan

One of the requirements of borrowing money from the bank I was working at was to confirm the income of the individual either by way of pay stub or a letter from your employer. A young fellow came in one day and told me he wanted to borrow some money but he was training to be a professional WWF-like wrestler so didn't have a steady stream of income. I asked him to get a letter drawn up confirming the amount and return to the bank as soon as possible. He wasn't clear on this so I told him he needed a piece of paper from his employer, saying how much money he makes, and it should have letterhead at the top of the page. Well, the next day he did return, with a letter done up in his own hand writing, saying "I, John Smith, make $1000 a month", and the word "Letterhead" clearly hand printed at the top of the page.

BLT?

I work in a small town in Mississippi, right across the state line from Memphis, TN. At lunch one day, I was at Sonic and when the man asked for my order over the intercom, I told him that I wanted a BLT with cheese, no mayo. To which he promptly asked, "Would you like Lettuce and Tomato?"

hemorrhoid

I worked at a local fast-food restaurant and had a co- worker named Amber. Once I asked her to take out the trash. She replied that she couldn't. When I asked why she stated that "it's too heavy. I might get a 'hemorrhoid'.

Aircraft

The local QuikTrip convenience store has a label posted on their gasoline pumps: "Warning: Quiktrip gasoline is not recommended for aircraft engines.

House

I work at a large retail chain in Columbus at the customer service desk. On day I had a man call and ask where the store was located, so I told him. Then he asked me to spell the street name, so I did. He said he was unfamiliar with the area and asked for directions. I asked him where he was coming from. He responded, "from my house". Can you believe it!!!!

Other caller

I was working as a receptionist for a busy law firm. During a spat of phone calls, I asked a caller if I could put her on 'hold' in order to answer the other line. She told me not to worry, the other caller was probably HER!!

Cable

I work for a government agency that has small offices in different locations around the county. A lady called one of these offices and asked to have someone come to her house to hook up her TV to cable. The operator told her that she had called the tax office not the cable company. After repeating her request a number of times & getting the same answer from our operator, the exasperated woman finally said "well, I was told that this was the SATELLITE office".

[MissStacey 1]

I don't get it.